"It's just gonna knot up"

[naturalmanenyc]

DH & I went to visit my dad and his wife this weekend a few hours away. I am wearing a wash & go style since I figured out a days ago that I could try it.

So, we are getting ready to leave and I wet my hair and added some leave-in. It curled up pretty nice, although it's not uniform since I have relaxed hair, texlaxed hair and new growth. I was in their master bedroom getting some lotion (forgot mine) and mentioned to dad's wife that I may go natural this year since I am working on managing my curl pattern. I said that I am not going to get a relaxer for a while and see what happens.

Why did she say "It's just gonna knot up." And she said it so matter of fact as if my hair texture would just change based on her words? Did I mention that she has about one milimeter of hair and has the nerve to have it dyed platinum blonde. She bleaches it about once a month because her black roots make her look almost bald if she doesn't bleach it regularly. I'm trying not to be irritated over this but for some reason, although that was about 10 hours ago, I'm still annoyed with her for saying such nonsense.

I know that my wash & go hair is not looking fabulous, yet, but to say my hair would "knot up" with no relaxer just proves to me that she knows nothing about haircare. And DH thinks that her lack of knowledge is the reason she, her sister and most of her friends have about one milimeter of hair. I never even paid her friends much attention but they do all have low fades or super short styles.

My W&G pictures
http://public.fotki.com/regswife/first-attempt-at-a-/

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

DH & I went to visit my dad and his wife this weekend a few hours away. I am wearing a wash & go style since I figured out a days ago that I could try it.

So, we are getting ready to leave and I wet my hair and added some leave-in. It curled up pretty nice, although it's not uniform since I have relaxed hair, texlaxed hair and new growth. I was in their master bedroom getting some lotion (forgot mine) and mentioned to dad's wife that I may go natural this year since I am working on managing my curl pattern. I said that I am not going to get a relaxer for a while and see what happens.

Why did she say "It's just gonna knot up." And she said it so matter of fact as if my hair texture would just change based on her words? Did I mention that she has about one milimeter of hair and has the nerve to have it dyed platinum blonde. She bleaches it about once a month because her black roots make her look almost bald if she doesn't bleach it regularly. I'm trying not to be irritated over this but for some reason, although that was about 10 hours ago, I'm still annoyed with her for saying such nonsense.

I know that my wash & go hair is not looking fabulous, yet, but to say my hair would "knot up" with no relaxer just proves to me that she knows nothing about haircare. And DH thinks that her lack of knowledge is the reason she, her sister and most of her friends have about one milimeter of hair. I never even paid her friends much attention but they do all have low fades or super short styles.

My W&G pictures
http://public.fotki.com/regswife/first-attempt-at-a-/

It is going to knot up Especially if your hair is anything like mine Seriously, us natchals get some baaaaaaaad knots.

But in her case in relation to what she said I would just ignore her and keep it moving. She just doesn't have all the knowledge that you have and there isn't any sense in you getting all frustrated.

 

[hopeful]

You know one of the hardest things about going natural is getting used to weird/negative/silly comments. When I first went natural I was very sensitive, but now no one bothers me. Plus, now that's it's longer and I know how to manage it pretty well, I mostly get wonderful compliments, very few odd comments anymore. And as far as the knots go, who knows, you hair may not knot up at all, I know mine rarely does. If you decide to transition, I wish you the best! Oh, and your wash and go pics are lovely.

 

[tricie]

"Did I mention that she has about one milimeter of hair..." That made me laugh out loud!!

I don't think your hair will knot up, but I have never gone natural; I did do a three month stretch and did start getting some coils, but there were pretty, not knotty!

Don't be discouraged; I bet your hair still looks better than her platinum blonde millimeter!

 

[ladylibra]

okay... so? my son's hair knots up, that doesn't make it unmanagable. if i didn't spend so much time on my hair, i'd spend more on his. but since i don't have to, i cut his short and keep growing mine out.

God forbid i ever have a daughter. i might have to BC again...

 

[Rei]

lol its kind of true, i haven't had a relaxer in a while either and it IS knotting up its a common problem during transitioning, but that doesn't mean that knots cant be undone

 

[sunshinelady]

Hate to agree with everyone else, but it will probably knot up. Welcome to natural-hood.

 

[glamazon386]

Hate to agree with everyone else, but it will probably knot up. Welcome to natural-hood.

I was thinking the same thing. I don't see what the big deal was. Maybe she came off as malicious to you when she made the comment? Don't let that woman upset you.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Thanks ladies. I think I'm over it now. I do not have a problem with knots & tangles and took her comment to imply that my hair is someone "bad".

But from here on out I will just keep my hair care plans to myself. She will eventually ask about it again once she see me retaining more and more length.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Thanks!! I never knew that I had wash & go hair so I'm not really sure how to style it yet. I chickened out and roller set last night for work this week.

You know one of the hardest things about going natural is getting used to weird/negative/silly comments. When I first went natural I was very sensitive, but now no one bothers me. Plus, now that's it's longer and I know how to manage it pretty well, I mostly get wonderful compliments, very few odd comments anymore. And as far as the knots go, who knows, you hair may not knot up at all, I know mine rarely does. If you decide to transition, I wish you the best! Oh, and your wash and go pics are lovely.

 

[Hair Iam]

It sounds like it may not have been what she said but "how she said".

 

[chicacanella]

Thanks ladies. I think I'm over it now. I do not have a problem with knots & tangles and took her comment to imply that my hair is someone "bad".

But from here on out I will just keep my hair care plans to myself. She will eventually ask about it again once she see me retaining more and more length.

I can't speak for you and say that your hair will or will not knot up;but I haven't had a relaxer since June 7th (or rather Telax) and my hair is not "knotting" up.

 

[cmesweet]

I haven't the other post but I will after this.

First, I think you wash-n-go hair looks pretty good. Nothing wrong with it at all.

Secondly, there is nothing wrong with what you said, and apparently she does not have a clue. I trully believe that growing healthy hair or becoming natural is a chance for individuals to grow and become stronger. I have heard it all, even one day I had a bun wrap covering my hair and the woman couldn't even see my hair, decided to lecture me and tell me I was bald. People are happy being ignorant/ not knowing and want to poison the world with it. THe point is, DON'T LET THEM DEFER or DETER you from your goals.

 

[morehairplease]

okay... so? my son's hair knots up, that doesn't make it unmanagable. if i didn't spend so much time on my hair, i'd spend more on his. but since i don't have to, i cut his short and keep growing mine out.

God forbid i ever have a daughter. i might have to BC again...

okay,

 

[Glib Gurl]

Wow. Her comment makes me sad. I could picture her saying it as I read the post. Shows how deeply ingrained our self-hatred is . . . even if it does knot up, why is that necessarily a bad thing?

 

[EMJazzy]

Knots come with the territory when you are a natural....don't sweat it.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Well, nearly 2 years later and with my natural hair 1.5 inches from APL, she had no comment. Lol lol. She is about the only one who did not comment on my hair all week while DH and I were visiting for Christmas. My mom and sister were all in my head and talking about the shine and health (length not so much since it was BSL when relaxed).

Her brother-in-law was all in my head too commenting about my "long", "healthy" hair that I should wear out more often. DH says that he and his wife probably argued about that since she, like her sister, has about a milimeter of hair and he has never, in front of us, commented about anyone else's hair being nice.

Its amazing to me that so many people assume that Black women cannot grow hair or that a relaxer is always the answer. She will probably never say anything positive about my natural hair....which is fine with me. Hopefully she will keep her negative comments to herself going forward.

Thanks ladies. I think I'm over it now. I do not have a problem with knots & tangles and took her comment to imply that my hair is someone "bad".

But from here on out I will just keep my hair care plans to myself. She will eventually ask about it again once she see me retaining more and more length.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

it kills me how people with no hair wants to give advice about other peoples hair. i notice that a couple of my freinds have ear length hair but never want to take advice from me but they take advice from their stylist and all they know how to do is apply glue and sombody elses hair onto theirs. hummm....funny

 

[Urban]

It sounds like it may not have been what she said but "how she said".

This. Because natural hair will knot up . That's just how it is. And I think a lot of us on these boards are a little sensitive when people make comments about our hair (besides compliments). I think we have to watch out for that, because some people don't mean to offend.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

well it is gonna knot up but so what?! its not gonna be one big huge sailor knot. just some ssk occasionally.

she shouldn't have said anything though because you didn't ask her for her two cents. she just assumed you didn't know what you are getting into by transitioning. ♥