thatscuteright
Well-Known Member
The most important decision you could possibly
make in life is whether or not you will choose to
receive
Christ as Lord of your life.
This will determine if you experience
eternal life today and in eternity.
But, the second most important
decision in life is who you will marry.
This is a critical decision that will greatly
determine
not only your future happiness but also the
degree
to which you are able to serve the Lord. What
does the Bible
declare the important considerations to be?
First, you may choose whomever you wish, as long
as he or she is a Christian (1 Corinthians 7:39).
There are no exceptions to this command.
From the following principles you
will see why God has made this a fundamental
requirement for His children.
The next important question is, what kind of
Christian
is the person you desire to marry?
A. Is this person truly committed to loving
and obeying the Lord?
This is important because every marital problem
you
will encounter in your relationship will always
result
from a spiritual problem.
If this person is truly committed to Christ, he
or she will solve these problems in a biblical
way.
Therefore, how has he or she demonstrated
this commitment? Do you see a love for God
demonstrated in his or her
life? Does this individual have a daily
devotional
life? Does thisperson share lessons learned
from Scripture with you?
Does he or she have a prayer life, and has there
ever been a time when this person has suggested
prayer
with you?
Have you seen him or her serving others since
you have been together?
Does this person serve with a motivation of love
or only because of obligation?
Does this person seek the kingdom of God more
than anything else?
See Gal. 5:22, Matt. 16:24, Acts 2:42, Gal. 5:13,
Matt. 6:33.
B. Do you have compatibility in spiritual things?
Do you agree on the major doctrines of Scripture?
Do you agree on
the church you will attend? Do you agree on how
you
will give of your time and money?
Without agreement over these issues now,
there will be great conflict over these issues
in the future. See Amos 3:3
C. Can you trust this person? Has this individual
given you any reason not to trust what he or she
has said
or done in any aspect of your relationship? Trust
is the foundation of any lasting relationship.
See Prov. 31:11,
1 Cor. 7:25.
D. How does he or she handle adversity?
Does this person trust God, or fall into unbelief
regularly?
Have you ever seen him or her angry?
Have you seen this individual angry with you?
Did you resolve this conflict in a biblical way?
Was forgiveness asked for and granted, or
was the issue just forgotten after a while?
The ability to reconcile conflicts in a biblical
way
is essential for a marriage that will last.
See Prov. 3:5, Mark 11:25,26 Luke 17:1-4,
Ps. 37:8, Prov. 16:32, Prov. 19:11.
E. Does he have a way to provide for you? Is
he or she a responsible person with money?
Money can be a great source of conflict in a
marriage,
so look for responsible action and
decision making on this
issue now. See 1 Tim. 6:10, Luke 16:14,
Matt.25:27,
2 Tim. 3:2.
F. Is he or she a good example? In the future
if you have children, would your mate be a good
example to them? If he or she is not a good
example now, it will be a constant battle later.
See 1 Tim. 4:12.
G. What issues do you agree and disagree on?
Make a list of both to permit an honest appraisal
of your
compatibility.
H. Does this person have control of his or her
sexual drives?
Have you ever seen him or her compromise
obedience toward God and His Word? Is there
pressure on you for sex? If he or she is not
obedient or self-controlled in this area now, how
will you be
able to trust this person after you get married?
See 1 Thess. 4:1-8, 1 Cor. 6:18, 1 Thess. 5:22.
I. Does your prospective mate respect you and
your opinions? Does he or she listen to you and
receive your ideas and/or correction, or are you
not even consulted over decisions?
Respect and willingness to talk over issues is
essential for a good marriage.
You should both be able to compromise and find
agreement over difficult problems. See Matt.
5:25.
J. Is there mutual submission between the two of
you? Can each of you give and receive ideas,
advice, or correction to one another? Is he or
she truly open to your input? If not, you should
not expect that after you get married things
will be any different. See Eph. 5:21, James 1:19,
Prov. 17:27, Rom 12:10.
K. Have you resolved the conflicts that have come
up between you? The willingness and ability to
resolve conflicts is essential for a lasting
marriage. We are all very different from one
another and should expect to find variance in our
ideas and feelings. If you have never had a
difference of opinion, this reveals that you
don't know each other as well as you think, and
one or both of you are not fully expressing your
personal views.
The only way you will know if your prospective
spouse will be accepting of these differences is
for you to express them. This is another area
where open communication will reveal the strength
or weakness of your relationship. If there is a
conflict, will you be able to lovingly resolve
it? Matt. 18:15 Matt. 5:23,24 Gal. 6:1,2
IV. How does your prospective mate treat other
people? The way this individual treats others is
ultimately the way he or she
will treat you, so look very closely at these
actions. Eph. 4:25
V. Have you dated this person long enough to get
an idea of what he or she struggles with in daily
life? If you can't identify at least some issues,
you probably don't know this person as well as
you think. Everyone has faults; some more, some
less.
Ask this person what issues cause the greatest
struggles in life and how he or she is dealing
with these issues. Can you live with these faults
or differences, knowing that people change very
slowly?
Can you live with the areas your prospective mate
is not dealing with very well?
Be very realistic, you should accept the fact
that "what you see, is what you get." Deut. 1:12
VI. Is this person a giving individual? Being
able to give sacrificially is the best proof of
true love.
If the person you want to marry is interested in
you giving the majority of the time, this will
not be a happy marriage. Rom. 12:10 Luke 6:38
VII. Each of the above issues requires effective
communication.
Without this occurring now, you will never have
the relationship you desire in marriage.
Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage
because it enables a relationship to be nourished
and survive the struggles that two people
encounter. Prov. 18:21 Eph. 4:29 Eph. 4:31
VIII. Is your prospective mate your best friend?
If marriage is a picture of the relationship
between Christ and His church, then friendship is
essential. Jesus said to His disciples, "Greater
love has no one than this, than to lay down one's
life for his friends.
You are My friends if you do whatever I command
you.
No longer do I call you servants, for a servant
does not know what his master is doing; but I
have called you friends, for all things that I
heard from My Father I have made known to
you"(John 15:13). A friend, according to Jesus,
was one for whom He would sacrificially lay down
His life and one to whom He would lovingly
communicate His heart.
Will you be marrying your best friend and a
person with whom you can share your heart? If so,
your marriage will be all that you expect it to
be. Song of Solomon 5:16
IX. Now take these same questions and apply them
to yourself. Your answers will determine where
you might consider making changes in your own
life before making a life-time commitment.
~Author Unknown~
****************************
May Peace And Love Be Yours Abundantly
make in life is whether or not you will choose to
receive
Christ as Lord of your life.
This will determine if you experience
eternal life today and in eternity.
But, the second most important
decision in life is who you will marry.
This is a critical decision that will greatly
determine
not only your future happiness but also the
degree
to which you are able to serve the Lord. What
does the Bible
declare the important considerations to be?
First, you may choose whomever you wish, as long
as he or she is a Christian (1 Corinthians 7:39).
There are no exceptions to this command.
From the following principles you
will see why God has made this a fundamental
requirement for His children.
The next important question is, what kind of
Christian
is the person you desire to marry?
A. Is this person truly committed to loving
and obeying the Lord?
This is important because every marital problem
you
will encounter in your relationship will always
result
from a spiritual problem.
If this person is truly committed to Christ, he
or she will solve these problems in a biblical
way.
Therefore, how has he or she demonstrated
this commitment? Do you see a love for God
demonstrated in his or her
life? Does this individual have a daily
devotional
life? Does thisperson share lessons learned
from Scripture with you?
Does he or she have a prayer life, and has there
ever been a time when this person has suggested
prayer
with you?
Have you seen him or her serving others since
you have been together?
Does this person serve with a motivation of love
or only because of obligation?
Does this person seek the kingdom of God more
than anything else?
See Gal. 5:22, Matt. 16:24, Acts 2:42, Gal. 5:13,
Matt. 6:33.
B. Do you have compatibility in spiritual things?
Do you agree on the major doctrines of Scripture?
Do you agree on
the church you will attend? Do you agree on how
you
will give of your time and money?
Without agreement over these issues now,
there will be great conflict over these issues
in the future. See Amos 3:3
C. Can you trust this person? Has this individual
given you any reason not to trust what he or she
has said
or done in any aspect of your relationship? Trust
is the foundation of any lasting relationship.
See Prov. 31:11,
1 Cor. 7:25.
D. How does he or she handle adversity?
Does this person trust God, or fall into unbelief
regularly?
Have you ever seen him or her angry?
Have you seen this individual angry with you?
Did you resolve this conflict in a biblical way?
Was forgiveness asked for and granted, or
was the issue just forgotten after a while?
The ability to reconcile conflicts in a biblical
way
is essential for a marriage that will last.
See Prov. 3:5, Mark 11:25,26 Luke 17:1-4,
Ps. 37:8, Prov. 16:32, Prov. 19:11.
E. Does he have a way to provide for you? Is
he or she a responsible person with money?
Money can be a great source of conflict in a
marriage,
so look for responsible action and
decision making on this
issue now. See 1 Tim. 6:10, Luke 16:14,
Matt.25:27,
2 Tim. 3:2.
F. Is he or she a good example? In the future
if you have children, would your mate be a good
example to them? If he or she is not a good
example now, it will be a constant battle later.
See 1 Tim. 4:12.
G. What issues do you agree and disagree on?
Make a list of both to permit an honest appraisal
of your
compatibility.
H. Does this person have control of his or her
sexual drives?
Have you ever seen him or her compromise
obedience toward God and His Word? Is there
pressure on you for sex? If he or she is not
obedient or self-controlled in this area now, how
will you be
able to trust this person after you get married?
See 1 Thess. 4:1-8, 1 Cor. 6:18, 1 Thess. 5:22.
I. Does your prospective mate respect you and
your opinions? Does he or she listen to you and
receive your ideas and/or correction, or are you
not even consulted over decisions?
Respect and willingness to talk over issues is
essential for a good marriage.
You should both be able to compromise and find
agreement over difficult problems. See Matt.
5:25.
J. Is there mutual submission between the two of
you? Can each of you give and receive ideas,
advice, or correction to one another? Is he or
she truly open to your input? If not, you should
not expect that after you get married things
will be any different. See Eph. 5:21, James 1:19,
Prov. 17:27, Rom 12:10.
K. Have you resolved the conflicts that have come
up between you? The willingness and ability to
resolve conflicts is essential for a lasting
marriage. We are all very different from one
another and should expect to find variance in our
ideas and feelings. If you have never had a
difference of opinion, this reveals that you
don't know each other as well as you think, and
one or both of you are not fully expressing your
personal views.
The only way you will know if your prospective
spouse will be accepting of these differences is
for you to express them. This is another area
where open communication will reveal the strength
or weakness of your relationship. If there is a
conflict, will you be able to lovingly resolve
it? Matt. 18:15 Matt. 5:23,24 Gal. 6:1,2
IV. How does your prospective mate treat other
people? The way this individual treats others is
ultimately the way he or she
will treat you, so look very closely at these
actions. Eph. 4:25
V. Have you dated this person long enough to get
an idea of what he or she struggles with in daily
life? If you can't identify at least some issues,
you probably don't know this person as well as
you think. Everyone has faults; some more, some
less.
Ask this person what issues cause the greatest
struggles in life and how he or she is dealing
with these issues. Can you live with these faults
or differences, knowing that people change very
slowly?
Can you live with the areas your prospective mate
is not dealing with very well?
Be very realistic, you should accept the fact
that "what you see, is what you get." Deut. 1:12
VI. Is this person a giving individual? Being
able to give sacrificially is the best proof of
true love.
If the person you want to marry is interested in
you giving the majority of the time, this will
not be a happy marriage. Rom. 12:10 Luke 6:38
VII. Each of the above issues requires effective
communication.
Without this occurring now, you will never have
the relationship you desire in marriage.
Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage
because it enables a relationship to be nourished
and survive the struggles that two people
encounter. Prov. 18:21 Eph. 4:29 Eph. 4:31
VIII. Is your prospective mate your best friend?
If marriage is a picture of the relationship
between Christ and His church, then friendship is
essential. Jesus said to His disciples, "Greater
love has no one than this, than to lay down one's
life for his friends.
You are My friends if you do whatever I command
you.
No longer do I call you servants, for a servant
does not know what his master is doing; but I
have called you friends, for all things that I
heard from My Father I have made known to
you"(John 15:13). A friend, according to Jesus,
was one for whom He would sacrificially lay down
His life and one to whom He would lovingly
communicate His heart.
Will you be marrying your best friend and a
person with whom you can share your heart? If so,
your marriage will be all that you expect it to
be. Song of Solomon 5:16
IX. Now take these same questions and apply them
to yourself. Your answers will determine where
you might consider making changes in your own
life before making a life-time commitment.
~Author Unknown~
****************************
May Peace And Love Be Yours Abundantly
