Is your honey romantic?

[smwrigh3]

My birthday was this past Wednesday and my SO really fell short of my expectations...

I am sitting here trying to think of all the romantic things he has done for me and I am having a hard time.

I can't think of the last time I got a back rub or a foot massage. I can't remember the last time he went to the grocery store and cooked me dinner. I don't know when's the last time he has planned & executed anything.

Can you? Is your man romantic?

 

[lushcoils]

Does he know you feel this way?

 

[chelseatiara]

well mine isnt "particularly" romantic but i am and i guess ive been rubbin off on him lately. He's gotten more affectionate in public and he even bought this book he thought i wanted the other day (i already had it but its the thought that counts lol) You should talk to him and tell him these things..and be more romantic towards him

 

[Whimsy]

My guy is very affectionate and loving, but not romantic. Not a bit.
His love language is different from mine though. He thinks shellacking the dining table is romance. Seriously.

 

[msbettyboop]

My SO is a hopeless romantic and this is one of the main reasons why I fell in love with him. He plans and plots to make occasions like my birthday, valentine's day and our anniversary better than the year before.

 

[nikolite]

He doesn't have one romantic bone in his body. But he is sweet and playful as all get out. So as a replacement for the back rubs and roses, I get the bags carried in, the doors opened for me, a good listener, constant touching and playing, lots of hugs and snuggling, etc. But he is a terrible planner. He barely thinks ahead in his own life (he's a super-procrastinator) so I don't really expect him to anticipate my needs anymore than he anticipates his own.

I get massages when I explicitly ask for them though. If I want a romantic weekend I'll have to come to him a week before and let him know I really want to do something romantic for Valentine's day, and ask if he can plan it out for me and surprise me. After he hears that he treats it like a challenge, and goes to work like he is working on one of his computer projects. Once I learned this, the resentment I started to feel about him being unromantic went away, which is very important.

There have been two times when he's planned something romantic out for me on his own accord, but they were both really big eventful things (a trip to Niagara Falls, wedding proposal in a hot air balloon) they were few and far between. He thinks its either really big or nothing at all, and I'm sure he thinks after he's done something big, he doesn't have to do anything for the next 3-4 years or so. So I have to remind him of the little things I need and as long as I ask nicely while making him feel like he's my knight and shining armor, and be appreciative about what he tries to do, he steps up to the plate.

 

[darlingdiva]

DH is a hopeless romantic & I love it.

He randomly buys me flowers. When the flowers start to wither, he runs a bath for me & he puts the petals in the bath water.

He bought me a silver tray at a yard sale & he gives me all of my meals on the silver tray.

We hold hands when we go out.

He reads poems to me.

He plans what he's going to do for anniversaries & birthdays months in advance.

OP, I think you should tell him how you feel. Everyone has different love languages. If you tell him how you feel, perhaps he will realize how important being romantic is to you.

 

[Briabiggles]

I didn't realize my SO could be romantic until a couple months ago. Senario, I laid down to take a nap without telling him. Silly man thought he could try to kiss me and I wouldn't wake up...but I did and thought he was so cute! So, I told him to wake me up in another half an hour. He comes in with a glass of wine....yum! I get up and go to the living room and he has candles lit....aww! Then I go to the kitchen and he drew a picture of me and wrote "I love you" on it and put it on the fridge!

I've never ever seen him to so many cute little things simultaneously. He cooks dinner often too but that's as sweet as I had seen him get until then.

 

[Syrah]

No...like Whimsy, my dude is loving and affectionate but not romantic. And that's perfect for me because I'm the girl that finds romantic comedies nauseating. I don't know what I would do with a guy who likes to site poetry and speak in metaphors.

That being said, we shouldn't be afraid to communicated what WE like. People behave based on their past experiences, so if dude has dated a couple of girls who weren't into romance, he simply might be thinking that most women don't like it.

Tell him that you like romance. That you like surprises. AND THEN see what happens. Give him a little direction...

 

[TayMac]

He can be...he does the random flowers from time to time, cooks dinner/fixes my plate, foot rub etc but nothing elaborate. I always let him know it is very much appreciated.

 

[ONAMSHN]

Nope....I feel ya OP! *sigh*

 

[MrsMe]

My FI is romantic and has always been.
He prepared a candlelit dinner for my birthday this past Wednesday. He cooked everything from scratch and was as sweet as can be.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, BDAY TWIN!!

Sent from my HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[FlowerHair]

Some men just aren't super romantic (just like some women) and perhaps you need to tell him that you would love a back rub every now and then or a home cooked meal with candle light etc. Most men will do what you want if you tell them exactly what you like...especially if you ask them in a nice way and look him deep in the eyes. LOL!

Train him!

 

[LovelyNaps26]

SO is romantic. He composed numerous poems when he was "wooing me" (convincing me to date him exclusively) and he still does. We're in a LDR and one night last month, while i was working late at night he arranged to have ice cream and cake delivered to my house by the time i came home. i didn't know they delivered that kind of stuff after 11PM. He's my first bf, so i'm really glad he's romantic. still, i do want the flowers. not that i think it's especially romantic, but i just want them. tell him though would negate the romance.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

DH is a hopeless romantic & I love it.

He randomly buys me flowers. When the flowers start to wither, he runs a bath for me & he puts the petals in the bath water.

He bought me a silver tray at a yard sale & he gives me all of my meals on the silver tray.

We hold hands when we go out.

He reads poems to me.

He plans what he's going to do for anniversaries & birthdays months in advance.

OP, I think you should tell him how you feel. Everyone has different love languages. If you tell him how you feel, perhaps he will realize how important being romantic is to you.

THIS!!!!

 

[darlingdiva]

SO is romantic. He composed numerous poems when he was "wooing me" (convincing me to date him exclusively) and he still does. We're in a LDR and one night last month, while i was working late at night he arranged to have ice cream and cake delivered to my house by the time i came home. i didn't know they delivered that kind of stuff after 11PM. He's my first bf, so i'm really glad he's romantic. still, i do want the flowers. not that i think it's especially romantic, but i just want them. tell him though would negate the romance.

Perhaps you can hint at it. You can mention that you thought the flowers that a co-worker received at work were beautiful. The next time he's in town and the two of you are around some flowers that you like, you can speak at length about how much you like them.

I agree that it negates the romance if you have to tell him, but I also think you should still get what you want.

 

[kmn1980]

I get flowers every week and he always remembers my monthly cheat day by bringing me a bag of Doritos. Does that count?

 

[smwrigh3]

Does he know you feel this way?

He will VERY soon! I am working on some major hints!

My guy is very affectionate and loving, but not romantic. Not a bit.
His love language is different from mine though. He thinks shellacking the dining table is romance. Seriously.

After watching RHOA we had a conversation on love languages he said his was coloring and I said romantic gestures... The next day he sent me a DM on twitter while I was at work saying "Close your eyes and imagine me walking in and giving you a kiss... that's what you have waiting on you when you get home" I thought that was the sweetest thing in the world!!!!

No...like Whimsy, my dude is loving and affectionate but not romantic. And that's perfect for me because I'm the girl that finds romantic comedies nauseating. I don't know what I would do with a guy who likes to site poetry and speak in metaphors.

That being said, we shouldn't be afraid to communicated what WE like. People behave based on their past experiences, so if dude has dated a couple of girls who weren't into romance, he simply might be thinking that most women don't like it.

Tell him that you like romance. That you like surprises. AND THEN see what happens. Give him a little direction...

I did that for my birthday and I can really see how he tried so that's why I dont wanna make him feel bad about it so I think Im going to be more vocal next time and actually give examples!

My FI is romantic and has always been.
He prepared a candlelit dinner for my birthday this past Wednesday. He cooked everything from scratch and was as sweet as can be.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, BDAY TWIN!!

Sent from my HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

Happy Birthday 2 u!!! I didn't get dinner from my boo @ all... I ended up going to get my hot dog from a fast food place... I was expecting him to cook or something but I got nothing :-(

I get flowers every week and he always remembers my monthly cheat day by bringing me a bag of Doritos. Does that count?

It sure does!!! Its the litttle things!

 

[darlingdiva]

He will VERY soon! I am working on some major hints!



After watching RHOA we had a conversation on love languages he said his was coloring and I said romantic gestures... The next day he sent me a DM on twitter while I was at work saying "Close your eyes and imagine me walking in and giving you a kiss... that's what you have waiting on you when you get home" I thought that was the sweetest thing in the world!!!!



I did that for my birthday and I can really see how he tried so that's why I dont wanna make him feel bad about it so I think Im going to be more vocal next time and actually give examples!



Happy Birthday 2 u!!! I didn't get dinner from my boo @ all... I ended up going to get my hot dog from a fast food place... I was expecting him to cook or something but I got nothing :-(


It sure does!!! Its the litttle things!

Yes, work on those major hints VERY soon because he DEFINITELY needs to be checked for the bolded.

 

[locabouthair]

^I agree. He didn't do anything at all for your bday?

 

[lilsparkle825]

My SO is, but he's romantic in that I-don't-mean-to-be kinda way most of the time. Nothing extravagant like hiring a string quartet to play at our private dinners, proposing atop Mount Everest or anything like I've read in this thread

When I first met him, he took me to a little diner for brunch and then we took a long walk through the local gardens. It was gorgeous, and very different. He is the type to always hold doors open for me, carry my bags, make sure I'm walking on the inside away from the street when we walk down the sidewalk....little things that no one had ever done for me and don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but they're still cute. He makes dinner often, and it is GOOD.

For my bday last month, I was at Duke working on something at midnight, and here he comes bearing an envelope and singing happy birthday. The card was so thoughtful and personalized and the next afternoon, he asked me to get into the car and whisked me away for a nice lunch at this place I had been wanting to visit for weeks. He then asked if I wanted to take a day trip down to Charlotte to visit my best friend/ex-roomie, and he packed a quick bag for me before we hit the road and had a birthday dinner with her. Not totally extravagant, but I loved it. I think what made it even better is that he's not big on birthdays, especially his own, but he went out of his way to make mine special.

We were in Whole Foods last week and he saw these beautiful roses, and HE is the one that came out and said "I feel so bad for never buying you flowers." Of course, I said "get me THOSE!" lol and he responded that it would have to wait so he could maintain the element of surprise. I love it.

 

[Spidergul]

~~~~~~~~~~~~deleted.

 

[ThickHair]

Yes, work on those major hints VERY soon because he DEFINITELY needs to be checked for the bolded.

A lot of men are not good at hints, you really need to tell them. Sometime hinting around will leave you even more frustrated.

 

[Theo]

my boo is not romantic but he is very thoughtful.

he'll leave something out the night before if i'm on a tough rotation b/c he knows i won't get a chance to eat

he'll pick up items that i drop and put them someplace that i'll see easily b/c he knows i lose things a lot

he threw a nice party for me on my birthday.... with my favorite type of cake and invited my friends from college... he also went out of my way to find my favorite flowers though they were out of season

he's just a sweet and thoughtful guy

EDIT: i wanted him to be more romantic when we first started dating, but his thoughtfulness is the way he expresses his feelings for me. i learned to accept that and our relationship has benefited from it. that being said, he would have never thrown a surprise b-day for me when we first started dating, that's just not his style. i had to let him know the type of things i like and appreciated.