Rather than forcing oneself to settle, I think it's useful to try and make sure that the men who do have a *spark* for us are actually good men to be attracted to. If the only men who have sparks are those who are unavailable, super attractive or otherwise have "player" tendencies, then something is wrong in what we find attractive in the first place.
Generally, I think that we have so much more power over our mindset and what we see as good, true and beautiful than we think that we do. So what we find attractive is going to have more than a little bit to do with what we consider to be most valuable in a man--and maybe there's a need to rearrange our priorities in that respect. Some deep reflection and change of mentality might make attraction to a wider variety of men more possible.
But I do personally understand the dilemma. If it makes anyone feel better, I think that men can be just as off base in who they think they would be a good match with as a woman can be. So just because he's so excited about me doesn't necessarily mean that we would actually be good together. I think the feeling that something is the right fit should be mutual. Even if that feeling isn't accompanied by fireworks--it should still feel like a good fit.
