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Is telling the truth bad?

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shynessqueen

shynessqueen

New Member
PLEASE: No name calling or fotki link just be nice.
I don't want my thread lock like the last one.:D Y'all can use me as an example if y'all want to. I don't mind and i wont take it to heart.


If y'all though my hair look like it need to be trim/cut/poor health or whatever would y'all tell me. If i seem like I'm clueless to what haircare is all about and I'm showing a lot of pics of damage hair saying how healthy it is would y'all clue me in. If y'all don't clue me in do y'all think that's going to help me in anyway. like i said y'all can use me in your example.
please don't give me the I don't care about other people hair.
I know the most important head of hair is your own. :cool: but we are here to help each other right:perplexed
 
I wouldnt put you on board blast, but I'd send you a friendly PM if I thought you were doing damage... *id want someone to tell me :(*

With the cutting/split ends... depends on reason you were hanging on to them.
 
hmmmm, if i knew you, like... i had a rapport with you or something, i would gently suggest a change.

however, random girl on LHCF that I don't really know - Nope, i would not say a word, unless i was asked. I wouldn't just offer up my opinion.
 
I have seen some beautiful hair here however, i have seen a pic or two where i wanted to say something but, wasn't sure how it would have been received.
besides, i'm no hair expert :ohwell:

The good thing with LHCF is, if you stick around, you'll get all the tools you need to change your situation.
 
I'm with Dsylla. I wouldn't say anything. They obviously think it looks cute if they have pics posted everywhere, so they won't believe you and just say "you are hating":lol: . I've learned to live and let live. There are two sides on this board. The "no trimmers" let it grow and catch up, and the "trimmers" to even up. I've learned to accept that. Who's to say, which one is better than the other?
 
plus! normaly if the person is really "watching" and waiting on the change they well notice and post a question before someone makes a suggestion!

Normaly they well ask "how do i get the shineyness" or whataver and people will post their comments and stuff.. i hope i made sense?:lol:
 
If they started a thread asking for hair advice that would most-likely be one of the suggestions to come up. If it was just a pic in their siggy or avatar...no. But, I would suspect at least one somebody would notice and send them a PM.
 
It would depend on if the pictures were posted as "dang I look good" or "please help me!!!"...if you are browsing through fotki's and notice that someone might need a trim or they are damaging their hair then I would attempt to send them a PM and make subtle suggestions, but I would have to see how my gut feels about that. I have been to some fotki's and just didn't say anything but I could feel that it would not be received well no matter how I worded it. But if it was me then I would want to know.....
 
Also, a lot of people start here with their hair in poor condition and their goal is to improve the condition (like me). Also, people have setbacks and they learn from their mistakes, no need to shave their heads and start over. No, I would never comment unless some one said "Look at how bad I'm messed up, help me." At the end of the day, most people are just happy to be on the board and to learn about growing hair, and we should all be grateful to have hair not everyone is so blessed, I don't think it would be right to pee on anyone's parade.
 
I wouldn't say anything unless I am asked and even then I will try and word it nicely like instead of saying "your hair looks tore up" I would say something like "you could probably use a trim".....because some folks are very sensitive.

I on the other hand don't mind if someone tells me my hair looks like crap, even when I don't ask for opinions...its all constructive criticism to me.
 
Telling the truth on this board is bad in my opinion...because I am not sure people really are looking for the truth or want you to comment on what they already know. I would want it if my hair was a HAM. However some people may not be ready to cut/trim/change regimen for whatever reason,and so I don't bother to comment on a persons hair if I know I will be lying to them. I don't feel comfortable lying... I will encourage though and that may be all a person is asking for...
 
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Bmack said:
Telling the truth on this board is bad in my opinion...because I am not sure people really are looking for the truth. I would want it if my hair was a HAM. However some people may not be ready to cut/trim/change regimen for whatever reason,and so I don't bother to comment on a persons hair if I know I will be lying to them. I don't feel comfortable lying... I will encourage though!
Click to expand...

Excuse the silly question but what does "HAM" mean?
 
I dont feel the need to give advice unsolicited. Most people know when things are not the way they want them to be. If someone is overweight, I dont feel the need to tell them to work out. If your skin is bad, I dont feel the need to bring it up. Most people found this place because they already understand that their hair needs help and they want to make it better. Most folks here are on a journey and are pretty good about asking for what they NEED. I dont assume someone NEEDS my advice unless they ask about it, especially for something as personal as hair. That's just how I roll. I also think that some folks try to be rude asses or ugly under the cover of being "helpful".
 
I'm like many of you I wouldn't say anything unless asked or if there was something majorly (is that a word?) wrong. I would never lie no matter what. I'm new at this and couldn't see myself offering any advice other than on products that I've tried. On the other hand my hair is really jacked up. I'm working on it. I don't mind constructive criticism. We're here to help each other. So, PM me, shout it out or tell someone else to tell me. I'm not ashamed to admit my hair needs HELP.
 
Like i said I'm going to use my self as a example. If i join this forum and i think my hair look nice with all it's damage. I post a pic of it and all the comments i get is "your hair look nice". Tell me how am I going to know that my hair need work if all the comments i get is my hair look nice.
A lot of women on here even say they thought their hair look good when it was really damage but they didn't know no better at that time.
Some of you are saying you would want to be told if your hair needs to be worked on but it seem like most won't say anything myself included.
That's why i ask is telling the truth bad. It has to be welcome for some because y'all are saying y'all would want someone to tell y'all the truth, Myself included.
 
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***Toy-Pisces*** said:
Umm...I'm a newbie and I have a long way to go but do my avatar look a HAM??? Please tell me the truth.

Thank you
Click to expand...

The picture is pretty small and dark so its hard to tell really.....maybe post a bigger picture
 
shynessqueen said:
Like i said I'm going to use my self as a example. If i join this forum and i think my hair look nice with all it's damage. I post a pic of it and all the comments i get is "your hair look nice". Tell me how am I going to know that my hair need work if all the comments i get is my hair look nice.
A lot of women on here even say they thought their hair look good when it was really damage but they didn't know no better at that time.
Some of you are saying you would want to be told if your hair needs to be worked on but it seem like most won't say anything myself included.
Click to expand...

Well, I don't think hair care is ALL about how the hair looks. Even if your hair looks a certain way, I can't tell if it is breaking off, if it has elasticity, and some people just have dull hair and there is no way to tell whether it is moisturized or soft and detangled. I would have to put my hand in your head and run my fingers through it before I could tell the state of your hair along with how it looks, so people on this board depend on the member to say what the problem is, either "my hair is breaking" or "my hair is dry" you can't diagnose everything from a pic.
 
shynessqueen said:
PLEASE: No name calling or fotki link just be nice.
I don't want my thread lock like the last one.:D Y'all can use me as an example if y'all want to. I don't mind and i wont take it to heart.


If y'all though my hair look like it need to be trim/cut/poor health or whatever would y'all tell me. If i seem like I'm clueless to what haircare is all about and I'm showing a lot of pics of damage hair saying how healthy it is would y'all clue me in. If y'all don't clue me in do y'all think that's going to help me in anyway. like i said y'all can use me in your example.
please don't give me the I don't care about other people hair.
I know the most important head of hair is your own. :cool: but we are here to help each other right:perplexed
Click to expand...

I would'nt just throw it out their like your ends could use a trim..etc...but I get pm's asking me do I think their hair needs to be cut or how far do you think I got to be bs, sl, ap, or do you think I'm shoulder length, armpit, etc...and when I get pm's I tell them the truth and I offer suggestions and 9 times out of 10 they pm a couple of weeks or months later and tell me that what I suggested works. Now I'm going to stop right there because as you stated don't want this thread to get locked....so I'm going to SHUT UP but the best way to try to tell someone about the condition of their hair would be in a sincere tactful way:)
 
shynessqueen said:
Like i said I'm going to use my self as a example. If i join this forum and i think my hair look nice with all it's damage. I post a pic of it and all the comments i get is "your hair look nice". Tell me how am I going to know that my hair need work if all the comments i get is my hair look nice.
A lot of women on here even say they thought their hair look good when it was really damage but they didn't know no better at that time.
Some of you are saying you would want to be told if your hair needs to be worked on but it seem like most won't say anything myself included.
That's why i ask is telling the truth bad. It has to be welcome for some because y'all are saying y'all would want someone to tell y'all the truth, Myself included.
Click to expand...

I agree most of want to be told but in the same return we wouldn't tell.

tsmith ITA
 
CAPlush said:
Well, I don't think hair care is ALL about how the hair looks. Even if your hair looks a certain way, I can't tell if it is breaking off, if it has elasticity, and some people just have dull hair and there is no way to tell whether it is moisturized or soft and detangled. I would have to put my hand in your head and run my fingers through it before I could tell the state of your hair along with how it looks, so people on this board depend on the member to say what the problem is, either "my hair is breaking" or "my hair is dry" you can't diagnose everything from a pic.
Click to expand...

I agree that everything can't be diagnosed from a photo. But there are certain patterns of breakage that can be easily identified by picture. Breakage from wrapping and hairline damage are pretty apparent. If the ends look dry versus the length of the hair, you have a starting point as to what changes the person can make in their regimen (i.e., protective styles, trimming, etc)

My hair isn't long enough for me to claim expertise, but I 'study' fotki albums to see the 'good' that I can incorporate into my regimen as well as the 'bad' that I can exclude. When something goes wrong with my hair, I try to show pics emphasizing it with detail of the mistake so that others won't make the same mistakes.
 
Well being truthful, this question seems a little back-handed. On one hand you ask if someone ASKS if the condition of their hair looks nice/healthy in a photo then should people tell the truth..absolutely, if peoples opinions are being requested then why not, everyone is entitled to say what they think based on what their eyes tell them. On the other hand, you say if someone already has a high opinion of their own hair and it's health and niceness based on a photo, but you may disagree with her, is it wrong to say basically "You're wrong girlfriend, your hair is pretty busted". I think it's your perogative. Me personally, I don't see this board as a hair show or competition where people are receiving awards for their hair health and progress, praise yes, but praise is all about opinion, and everyone has a different one and most people here are a work in progress in their hair goals and if they are happy about progress that THEY see, why not let em be? Again you are basing something off a photo, that could be great progress from where that person was a month previous or so forth So in that case I don't think it's necessary, but at the same time, it's your perogative, it's neither wrong, nor right.
 
To answer the OP's question, if it's someone I "know" on the board, then I'll chime in with some advice. If it's someone who may catch feelings or I don't have much interaction with them, then I don't say anything.
 
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