Is she really my friend?

[Xavier]

Okay so I was being nosy and found out that my friend(lets call her Sara) fooled around with my ex.

I would say that Sara is not my best friend, but she and I are pretty close. Well when I found out I was angry for about 5 seconds The episode occured before him and I ever met. I have only lived here for a couple of years and him and Sara went to school together. They were not dating, so I guess it was just a causal sex type relationship between the two of them.

So I told one of my best friends(Kim) about the situation to see what she would say. Kim's reaction kinda caught me off guard. She was upset, stating that the Sara isn't really my friend. Simply because a true friend should have been honest enough to tell me about the incident.

I kinda took up for Sara saying that I could understand how ackward it would be to tell my new friend about a booty call that I had years ago with her ex boyfriend. I could see if she slept with my man while we were together, but that was not the case. She also did not know that him and I dating when she and I first met, which is probably why we became so close. Sara may have even been a little hestiatant about our friendship if she knew about our connection with the same man.

I can't change that past, so why dwell on it. What I do know is that Sara has been a good friend. Kim doesn't think so because she sees it as a sign that Sara is a bit manipulative and dishonest.

What do you think? Would you have confronted Sara about the past incident? Or is it better left alone?

BTW, Sara has indeed moved on. She got engaged a couple of weeks ago.

 

[fmnnity]

Yes she is. The best kind. . .sounds like she didn't want to create drama. Why would she bring up something that, in the grand scheme of things, meant absolutely nothing.

 

[Xavier]

Yes she is. The best kind. . .sounds like she didn't want to create drama. Why would she bring up something that, in the grand scheme of things, meant absolutely nothing.

Exactly. I just starting feeling like maybe I was being a little naive after her reaction.

 

[fattyfatfat]

I think she is still your friend. You are right, what happened between Sara and your ex was BEFORE you and her knew each other and before you and your ex were together. No one in this situation has done anything wrong. Sara could have told you about their past relationship, but what would that do? Make you upset and end the friendship. If you, Sara and your ex can forget about the past, then so be it. Kim may be trying to start something OR just have a different opinion/morals.

If Sara was a bad friend she would bring it up allll the time. In front of you and your ex. Sara has clearly moved on in her life. No use in bringing up sexing up someones SO when you are getting married.

JMO .

 

[nu_nu_2002]

Is this thread breaking the rules? We are only supposed to talk about male-female relationships. Your question about another female CLEARLY breaks the purpose of this forum.....

















































Okay Im sorry....

 

[Xavier]

^^^^I knew someone would bring that up. I read the description after I submitted the thread.

I thought about asking one of the mods to move it but I'm being lazy.

 

[BAP28]

1- it did happen b4 u met and maybe she didnt want to taint the rlp you would have with dude if you really liked him

2- i woulda told my friend if i messed with or etc anyone she was currently dating..i like things honest and open

 

[gone_fishing]

Well, I wouldn't say CONFRONT her about it. That sounds a little antagonistic if she didn't do anything wrong.

But you may relieve her a bit if you just mention you know about it and you don't think it's a big deal.

It might squash the tension a bit so long as they are totally finished.

Personally, to me it just really sounds like she didn't want to create drama.

I probably would have told you but I don't think she did any harm by keeping that to herself. It was, after all, before you met.

 

[SpyCats]

1- it did happen b4 u met and maybe she didnt want to taint the rlp you would have with dude if you really liked him

2- i woulda told my friend if i messed with or etc anyone she was currently dating..i like things honest and open

OT: I wish you all the best with the HOTTIE in your avatar...

Carry on!

 

[BAP28]

lol thank you...gurrrll he is something special i tell ya- snuck up on me and grabbed my hand when i was leaving the whiskey lounge we've been joined at the hip ever since..but its 2 early to jump the gun...updates in a couple months lmao...

OT: I wish you all the best with the HOTTIE in your avatar...

Carry on!

 

[bLackButtaFly]

ITA with what the other ladies are saying. Sometimes are friends have weird reactions to stuff, is the only explanation for what your other friend said. Just be sure to tell her if you slept with her current bf b4 they started dating, b/c you know how she'd react...

 

[Xavier]

Well, I wouldn't say CONFRONT her about it. That sounds a little antagonistic if she didn't do anything wrong.

But you may relieve her a bit if you just mention you know about it and you don't think it's a big deal.

It might squash the tension a bit so long as they are totally finished.

Personally, to me it just really sounds like she didn't want to create drama.

I probably would have told you but I don't think she did any harm by keeping that to herself. It was, after all, before you met.

I guess I could have said approach, instead of confront.

It may relieve the tension as you stated, but I don't know if I want to risk her feeling uncomfortable around me after everything is out in the open.

 

[need2accumulate]

I would leave it alone