Is Match.com @ 25 'Desperate'?

B

butter_pecan

Well-Known Member
I hope I am not offending anyone with the thread title. I have expressed interest in signing up for a Match.com account to start trying to seek out more quality men (I'm 25). The people I've told think I'm being "desperate" and "lame" (these are women older than me). What do you think? My concern is I never meet anyone I'm compatible with IRL, so I thought online dating would be a better resource.
 
No you are not desperate. I wouldn't take what those ladies say to heart, even if they are older (older does not always mean wiser). I see it as opening your options. You can be desperate without being on the web.
 
Didn't Essence Atkins meet her fine arse hubby on Match?!?!

I personally know two married couples that met online. Hell, one was on blackpeoplemeet, he's a lawyer, she's a psychologist---married with kids now. My friend said she also knows people that met via internet dating, specifically on Match.

Whoever said this is a fool.
 
Don't listen to them. I met my husband online when it was still a weird thing to do and I wasn't embarrassed about it either. We've been married more than a decade now.
 
not at all.

i think online dating is becoming more normalized (depending on where you live/who you know). i always felt a little awkward about having an okcupid account (but i've moved to new cities every year since graduating college and want to meet people outside of my very small, new social/professional circle). a lot of my friends/acquaintances either have one or know someone who has one. so after that slightly awkward moment, it's nbd.

my coworker met her bf on okc & told our other coworkers (recent college grads new to the state), and one was like "oh so you just go on there and you can meet people? oo i want to check it out" and pulled it up on the spot :lol: (and these are very attractive, intelligent young women who would not be hurting for male attention).

one of my friends out here is from okc (ifeel like men my age on that site are looking for anything from a cut buddy, to a date, to a friend. and that dude was def looking for a friend. no romantic interest at all & i was new to the city too so i was open either way).

match.com is probably different since you have to pay for it right? lol. i'm not paying for friends!
 
UmSumayyah said:
Don't listen to them. I met my husband online when it was still a weird thing to do and I wasn't embarrassed about it either. We've been married more than a decade now.
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Cool!

While online dating isn't for me, I wouldn't take others' opinions on it to heart.. some have really strong opinions against it simply because it's non-traditional.

I do find that many people have a hard time acknowledging how much our social interactions and cultures have changed, even with the evidence right in front of their face. Dating and mating isn't the same as it was a generation ago.

I do think online dating has unique challenges but the pros probably outweigh the cons.
 
It's not desperate it's smart. My brother met his wife on blackplanet when he was like 19, and that was like 6 or 7 years ago. I had a cousin and a very close friend both meet their wife online, one on myspace and the other on facebook.

I think online dating is smart because it allows you to meet quality people that you might never have gotten the chance to meet otherwise.
 
If that is what you feel most comfortable with, how does that make you desperate? It doesn't matter what anyone thinks but you.
 
People need to stop listening to other folks and start doing what they feel is right. If you do not have people that support you and your decisions and are always judging you, please either get a new set of friends or stop telling them stuff.
 
As a previous internet dater, just keep it to yourself. Some folks horizon's have not broaden outside of the local "spot" or "regular" things.
 
Heck no, my friend is around that age and while she gets hit on on the daily decided to try online and just entered a relationship for the first time in many years. Go for it.
 
this is common to certain circles i think. i would have never met a stranger from online, but when i was in grad school EVERYBODY was online dating. it was more in fashion for us younger folks than it was for older people who might actually "need" to do it as a last resort. it wasnt on my radar at all, but it was so normalized in that environment that now i dont even bat an eyelash at it. bf and i met on okcupid :yep: i cannot recommend that site enough even if i hadnt met my so there.

btw i am constantly hit on by men irl all the time - which isnt to say im gorgeous, but to say that im not hurting for male attention. online dating is a way to meet more/new men the same way going to the club is.
 
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ManeStreet said:
just be very careful. meet in public & drive yourself.
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^^ I have laughed at people who told me ^^^as if meeting someone that I met at the library or grocery store is any safer then a person I met online. Plus them thinking I lack good common sense. I actually think it is a bit insulting or maybe some folks do lack common sense dating. IDK

That shouldn't only be done when you meet someone online. That is good advice even if Aunty Such and Such sets you up with her friend's, cousin's, nephew's, god brother. Folks change up in a blink of the eye, you can never been too safe.
 
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ThickHair said:
^^ I have laughed at people who told me ^^^as if someone I met at the library or grocery store is any safer then a person I met online. Plus them thinking I lack good common sense.

That shouldn't only be done when you meet someone online. That is good advice even if Aunty Such and Such sets you up with her friend's, cousin's, nephew's, god brother. Folks change up in a blink of the eye, you can never been too safe.
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that's very true. and that's how i looked at it once i got over the stigma. I used to give my number out to strange men i would meet at bars, lounges, etc. As if they can't be stalkers:lol:
 
If that is what you want to do, do it. Different strokes for different folks. Just because someone doesn't agree with you or your way don't turn it into a negative.
 
UmSumayyah said:
Don't listen to them. I met my husband online when it was still a weird thing to do and I wasn't embarrassed about it either. We've been married more than a decade now.
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UmSumayyah

I met my DH on there when match.com was Love@aol back in 2000. It was weird to say you met someone online back then.
We've been married 7 years.
 
I know an older couple that met online. They fit one another really well and have been married about 10 years now.

Another 20-something woman I know, a lawyer, was recently married and met her husband on eHarmony.

I know someone else that ended up in a serious rlp from Facebook. Didn't ultimately work out, but not because either of them were crazy.
 
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I think when you know what you are doing, you can do anything you like.

Some people would do it only if they were desperate, this doesn't mean you are. When people are feeling desperate they tend to get everything wrong, whereas when you are relaxed and connected to your brain and "not in need", you make less mistakes. This can be on a website, in a bar, in a library, anywhere really.

If desperation had an address, I guess it would be easy for many people to avoid it.
 
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