Is it ok to just become a ghost?

H

heavens_epiphany

New Member
This year I decided to change my number and email. After doing soul searching I felt I need to break off from evil people. Mainly my girls father and a few hater girlfriends. My girls fathers because they are an A@% and te wont notice that my number has changed until he makes his annual fathers day call trying to get a gift/2 hour visit and the "friends" well that is self explanatory. I have rationalized this as moving foward and away with the past. I even thought about relocation. There is only so much emotional dram a girl can take. AM I being selfish?
 
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I've done it and it helped me a lot. Although I don't think I would do that with the father of my children.
 
Yes, and that's okay. I think it would be nice to let them know that you need space, so that they won't be worried about you. I'm not so sure about the disconnect with you child's father because I don't know the details, but do what you have to do.
 
Sometimes it needs to be done. Most of the time, you are better off without them...father of your daughter included.:ohwell:
 
In general, I would say it's great for certain situations.

However, your child's father has a right to contact his daughter regardless of what you think about him. That's just my opinion though. That sucks, but it's part of the deal when you decide to have a baby with someone :ohwell:
My mom always said "the one you have a child with, you're always married to one way or another"...
 
I think you can cut off everyone else except the child's father.

You should get one of those $20 prepaid phones and give only him the number. And tell him if he needs to get in touch with you regarding his child to call and leave a message and you'll get back to him on your own time. Other than that, you don't have to speak to him especially if his conversations are hurtful and aint bout ish.
 
ChanelNo5 said:
I think you can cut off everyone else except the child's father.

You should get one of those $20 prepaid phones and give only him the number. And tell him if he needs to get in touch with you regarding his child to call and leave a message and you'll get back to him on your own time. Other than that, you don't have to speak to him especially if his conversations are hurtful and aint bout ish.
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i agree with this. unfortunately, you have to maintain some type of contact with the father. by doing the above, it is very limited and you can still have your piece of mind. good luck. i hope things work out for you.
 
FlowerHair said:
In general, I would say it's great for certain situations.

However, your child's father has a right to contact his daughter regardless of what you think about him. That's just my opinion though. That sucks, but it's part of the deal when you decide to have a baby with someone :ohwell:
My mom always said "the one you have a child with, you're always married to one way or another"...
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I agree with this for the most part....for fathers that make an effort but there are those who don't. Those that wouldn't even realise you changed your number for a looooooong time.

He knows where they live...he'd make contact if he wanted to but to me it sounds like he doesn't even do that often. Sometimes you need to cut people off for peace of mind, it's not like OP is moving to New Zealand and not telling him.

...but maybe I'm just biased :spinning:
 
Lilakoi’s_Sister said:
i agree with this. unfortunately, you have to maintain some type of contact with the father. by doing the above, it is very limited and you can still have your piece of mind. good luck. i hope things work out for you.
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Yes! But the key to this is your own stregnth to walk away and not let him back in. And I realize that this will be no easy task. Because once he realizes you're gone and want absolutely nothing to do with him as a human being he will flip. From what you said he will try to say really hurtful things, and you and your spirit and self-esteem just can't have that.

You can do it!
 
I understand how you feel, heavens. I don't even answer the phone if my ex calls. I just tell my son his father is calling and let him pick up the phone. I don't want to hear any venom or spite which is what I have gotten when I allow him to speak to me. If I have something to say, I send him an email. Even then I've had to block him because he still spits out nastiness when he can.

My SO is disturbed by our "relationship". He thinks Ex-H is disrespectful by not trying to have a friendly, positive relationship. I just don't think everyone can be friends. I won't interfere in my child's relationship with his father (at least not right now) because it is important to my son that he feels like he has a dad out there somewhere and they are trying to build a relationship together (after hearing nothing from him for 4 years).

Something happened recently with Christmas which I posted earlier so I am seriously considering cutting him out. My SO loves my son and I have some other male friends who spoil him often. So he doesn't lack for positive male role models. I can always call one of them to take him to Boy Scouts or some other masculine function. I'm still struggling with that decision.

I hope you get some peace from whatever you decide. It's rough dealing with knuckleheads ! :nono:
 
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