Is getting married at 17 okay?
- Thread starter melodee
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MomofThreeBoys
Well-Known Member
As a Christian, I think its a VERY BAD IDEA!!!! Unless both persons are completed prayed up, surrendered, and know for sure this is what God has planned for them. I would never advise anyone to go against the Holy Spirit but is He really leading them in these decisions to get married so early in life?????
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
when you are young you are naive and don't see things that you see when you are older. Does anyone really realize what marriage entails at 17? I know someone who got married at 16 and she said at the time she didnt know what she was doing. She still married today almost 25 years later but its obvious she isn't happy and from what I hear she is having an affair. My point is that marriage is something you have to be sure about and at 17 I dont think you can make that type of decision. And I dont think getting married in order to have sex is a good reason to get married.
DigitalRain
Well-Known Member
If it's genuinely for love, I think its fine. But to be marrying just have sex is a bad mistake, and the marriage will probably not last because its not based on love but on sex and self satisfaction. I've known quite a few young people to do that, marry young so that they can have "legal" sex. All ended horribly in divorce.
Well I know if that they did get married it wouldn't be a sin according to Corinthians 7:9 - But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
But the bible must also be applied with wisdom. Are these teens able to support each other ? Not only spirtually but financially? Are they emotionally ready and mature mentally? There is much more to marriage than just sex and quite frankly I wonder of some people's motives for getting married in the church.
I honestly don't see what is the rush. Times have changed and even though people used to get married very young back in the olden days, their knowledge and understanding of marriage was that it was a comittment. A sad statistic is that divorce is running rampart in the christian community as well, almost equal to that of the world, about 50%.
Marrriage is hard work and a commitment. I hope that these young kids understand that before rushing into anything. They should at least wait till they graduate from college. In these and times you need more than just love to carry you through a relationship. If they don't have the necessary means , then I just see it as an unwise move. Not being prepared for the challenges of marriage will just add to unecessary stress as a young couple. No marriage is without problems but they should be mentally ready for some of the curve balls life has to offer. I hope they really pray about it and make sure that this is God's will and timing and not their own. In all I hope for God's blessing upon them if they do decide to go with it.
But the bible must also be applied with wisdom. Are these teens able to support each other ? Not only spirtually but financially? Are they emotionally ready and mature mentally? There is much more to marriage than just sex and quite frankly I wonder of some people's motives for getting married in the church.
I honestly don't see what is the rush. Times have changed and even though people used to get married very young back in the olden days, their knowledge and understanding of marriage was that it was a comittment. A sad statistic is that divorce is running rampart in the christian community as well, almost equal to that of the world, about 50%.
Marrriage is hard work and a commitment. I hope that these young kids understand that before rushing into anything. They should at least wait till they graduate from college. In these and times you need more than just love to carry you through a relationship. If they don't have the necessary means , then I just see it as an unwise move. Not being prepared for the challenges of marriage will just add to unecessary stress as a young couple. No marriage is without problems but they should be mentally ready for some of the curve balls life has to offer. I hope they really pray about it and make sure that this is God's will and timing and not their own. In all I hope for God's blessing upon them if they do decide to go with it.
Blossssom
New Member
Janice said:
And I'm sure once they have had their fill of the SEX, they will be headed to divorce court which, TOO, is a sin, not to mention the children who will AGAIN grow up in a broken home!
So, maybe they are better off getting on birth control, fornicating and forget the marriage route if SEX is the only motivator.
In either case, they will end up BURNING anyway! At least on birth control, they won't cause other human beings to suffer because of their silly decisions.
AngelicRose07
back from years of hiatus
how will they burn anyway?
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
If it's God's will for them to be married, if they have a loving and committed relationship, and if they are not marrying for the wrong reasons, I don't see a problem with marrying at age 17. My parents married at 18 and 19 (1-2 years difference from 17), and they are happily married!
NewlyNature12
New Member
Blossssom said:
Agreed, agreed, agreed. Getting married just to "do it" is just stupid.
In today's times, getting married at 17 is not a smart move. High school is not the real world. You go to college, you get life experiences, you grow and change. They hardly even know themselves yet, how are they going to get to know one another.
Vintagecoilylocks
New Member
If they are not wanting pre-marital sex because God has taught them this then just maybe they plan on living according to all of God's teachings and are not planning divorce and adultery. Does your church have a good pre-marital class? May be one should be started. If they are taking this first step to obey God the church can help them see clearly and then carry out their lives God centered. Jump in there and suggest a good program. Start one. Might as well give them a good start to finish the race.
Sweet C
Well-Known Member
Janice said:
This pretty much sums it up for me! I will say that in the area I am moving to, you find a lot of young people getting married earlier (18-20), but most of these are the ones who are taking a more vocational track, or in other words, not planning to go to college anytime soon. Most of these I have encountered seem to be doing well, but will tell you that they did have a lot of struggles, and that if they had waited even a year or two, that would have eased a lot of burdens they encountered within the first years of marriage.
Supergirl
With Love & Silk
As explained by my pastor:
You should not buy a grocery store just because you want a can of green beans!
It depends on the couple of course. For the most part, I'd say that 17 is just too young and that there's more maturing to be done before such an important, life altering decision (perhaps the biggest decision one makes in life) is made.
I do understand about not wanting to have pre-marital sex and it's okay to desire sex. But, they should discipline themselves and hold off as they get to know more about that other person and more about themselves. Usually, those that marry just because they want to have sex marry very quickly, and marrying too quickly is usually not a good thing.
You should not buy a grocery store just because you want a can of green beans!
It depends on the couple of course. For the most part, I'd say that 17 is just too young and that there's more maturing to be done before such an important, life altering decision (perhaps the biggest decision one makes in life) is made.
I do understand about not wanting to have pre-marital sex and it's okay to desire sex. But, they should discipline themselves and hold off as they get to know more about that other person and more about themselves. Usually, those that marry just because they want to have sex marry very quickly, and marrying too quickly is usually not a good thing.
sithembile
Well-Known Member
This made me think of a line in Juanita Bynum's No more sheets sermon:
"Marriage is not sex, marriage is ministry and if you're not prepared to minister to the men (or people) of God, don't mess over'em!"
"Marriage is not sex, marriage is ministry and if you're not prepared to minister to the men (or people) of God, don't mess over'em!"
LDebagoria
New Member
Blossssom said:
ITA! They'd more than likely cheat on one another or divorce! Wow, this is one of the worst ideas I've heard in a while...
redeemed516
New Member
Marriage isn't something to enter into lightly. It is a covenant made between two people before God. If they ain't serious, don't do it. God don't like covenant breakers. He holds marriage very high!!
If they are only marrying to have sex, then NO, NAW, Uh UH, Nope, No WAY, don't do it.
You better get prayed up and talk to God first.
If they are only marrying to have sex, then NO, NAW, Uh UH, Nope, No WAY, don't do it.
You better get prayed up and talk to God first.
sprungonhairboards
Well-Known Member
Poohbear said:...burn in their sexual desire....
I thought she meant burn as in- hell because of fornication or divorce
sprungonhairboards
Well-Known Member
And you know now that I've thought about it, maybe that is the way to go, before you're jaded from going through relationship to relationship while you're "getting mature" and "grown up".
Most folks nowadays who are supposedly old and mature enough to know better ain't doing any justice to the institution either.
Most folks nowadays who are supposedly old and mature enough to know better ain't doing any justice to the institution either.
sweetpeadst
New Member
I think it is a bit young for marriage! I don't think children of tis day and age are mentally ready at that age!
sprungonhairboards
Well-Known Member
sweetpeadst said:
Judging from the 50% divorce rate, quickie marriages and even quicker divorces and multiple ex spouses I don't think the adults of this day and age are mentally ready,
I know that's a young age, but in other countries, females marry at like 14 or 15, and that's considered normal.
AnnDriena_
New Member
Straight up marrying at 17 is not wrong. It's only lately (last 100 or so years) that we have been getting married later in life because laws and society have changed so much. I used to watch little house on the prarie (sp) and when laura ingles became a teacher at 15 or 16 I thought what is wrong with these people but then I immediately knew that it was okay because thats' what society actually needed and it was perfectly acceptable at the time. Our society is fairly new and in biblical times it was perfectly acceptable for a couple to marry so young. There growing lust and want for an intimate relationship actually signaled that for them it was time to seek a mate because all the things that were feeling physically and emotionally were perfectly natural and were meant to be expressed with a mate. Right now the church is having a huge problem with extramarital sex. Not because people CAN'T wait. But because we were not meant to keep putting off these feelings for YEARS like we have been doing. I posted an article by a Christian journalists who was wondering why the Christian church didn't have matchmakers like the jewish synagogues did and one to the things the rabbi pointed out in the interview was that although you don't marry FOR SEX putting it off is causing problems also.
So if a 17 year old is thinking with their head and realize they are making a decision not just "falling in love" but making a decision to stick it out through the good and the bad and they truly realize they are not always going to be on that "mountain of loooove" that your own when you're a teenager but that you need to stay married anyway. Then go for it.
So if a 17 year old is thinking with their head and realize they are making a decision not just "falling in love" but making a decision to stick it out through the good and the bad and they truly realize they are not always going to be on that "mountain of loooove" that your own when you're a teenager but that you need to stay married anyway. Then go for it.
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