is 36 too young to have a midlife crisis?

[Golong]

My SO is having a mid-life crisis. At least that how I see it. But this ish has been going on for 2 yrs now! He has all the characteristics-bought a porche, hangs around boys 23-24 yrs/old, his style of talk is different...uses slang he has never uttered before, and curses up a storm; drinks beer all day on weekends, watchs football for 7 hours straight and plays video games. He just pretty much just acts like an adolescent college frat boy, in behavior and the man is about to turn 36!

This is the complete opposite of the man I met 7 yrs ago. he only drank of special occasions, watched football on thanksgiving day only, thought video games were a waist of time and those who spoke slang didn't have the intelligence to express themselves articulately.

I don't know if this is his new persona or if this is a phase he is going through? If so he's got a few months to get his act together or or ......well I don't know what I will do cause I am pretty much stuck here

 

[Demi27]

I, personally, think that's a little too young for a mid-life crisis, but I could be wrong.

Do you think there may be something else going on with him?

 

[Golong]

I don't know. He has always been shy and reserved, pretty much the nerd type (complete opposite from what I dated before and thats why I started dating him). It seems since his younger brother of 13 yrs came of age he has been hanging with him and his friends. He has latched on to their interests and abondoned who he is. I don't even recognize him for the man I knew he is completely differnt and I know its do to his brothers influence. This new behavior has been going on too long. I know the guy i fell in love with is still in there I just want him back but I think I'm losing him to his brother and his new crew of friends.

 

[trini_rican]

Hi honey,

Sorry to say but it's not too young. It's quite the contrary it's right on time. They have one between 32 and 35 and again in their 50s. This one can be brought on by the younger guys he's now hanging out with. Not wanting to be the daddy of the group and wanting (hate to say it) the attention of younger women - cause thats who his friends are looking at and the younger girls are looking at them. HTHs, the best thing to do is jolt him back to reality and let him know you don't like the "new" image. But the Porsche can stay I drive one too...they're irresistable I have the SUV though - I'm a mom of 2.

 

[Golong]

Hi honey,

Sorry to say but it's not too young. It's quite the contrary it's right on time. They have one between 32 and 35 and again in their 50s. This one can be brought on by the younger guys he's now hanging out with. Not wanting to be the daddy of the group and wanting (hate to say it) the attention of younger women - cause thats who his friends are looking at and the younger girls are looking at them. HTHs, the best thing to do is jolt him back to reality and let him know you don't like the "new" image. But the Porsche can stay I drive one too...they're irresistable I have the SUV though - I'm a mom of 2.

again at 50? they have 2? Great I really don't like his younger brother, he is constantly whispering in SO ear and conviencing SO to hangout with the boys. And all the boys are single young frat boys who prey on young college girls.

At the same time I know how SO always wanted to be the cool older brother, I just think its gone too far and I'm really ready for marriage & babies, but not if this is going to continue. My clock is ticking, I don't know how much longer I should wait? I just don't know how to handle this .

 

[trini_rican]

Communication (honest communication), compromise, and prayer. Without those things all relationships fail. You have to have a earnest talk. Not a yelling or blaming match but a talk asking where he sees himself in the near future because based on what you're seeing he's digressing as opposed to the necessary Pro-gressing. You can do it. Be patient, listen, and tell him that you're concerned. Then pray for your future (together)

 

[Golong]

Communication (honest communication), compromise, and prayer. Without those things all relationships fail. You have to have a earnest talk. Not a yelling or blaming match but a talk asking where he sees himself in the near future because based on what you're seeing he's digressing as opposed to the necessary Pro-gressing. You can do it. Be patient, listen, and tell him that you're concerned. Then pray for your future (together)

Your right! I'm just scared. we have been together for 7yrs and going by his behavior in the past 2yrs he has become more and more distant....I'm afraid of his honest answer and where that would leave us....leave me . Change is difficult and its something I am not prepared for, not now anyway.