Invitation drama

[NewlyNature12]

How have you ladies have worded your wedding invitations?

To make a really long story short, I put "Together with our parents, newlynature and fiance request your presence...." instead of the traditional wording on an invitation. My mother was livid. She told me I was disrespectful, and that she deserved acknowledgment by name. She is not paying for the wedding.

I don't think I did anything wrong. How was your invitation worded, and should I cave in and change the wording of the invite?

 

[msbettyboop]

It's usually, the families of so and so request the pleasure of your company at the joining in holy matrimony of their children so and so - as far as I know. I've never seen it worded the way you stated above before but maybe someone else has.

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[BackToMyRoots]

NewlyNature12 There's nothing wrong with how you've worded it. The invitation language is based on who is paying for the wedding. Since you and your FH are paying(it seems) you could have left the parents part off. That's quite nice of you to include them as host.

Though the etiquette is there as a guideline...it's not set in stone and you can word it as you wish.

See this link for sample language:
http://www.bellafigura.com/letterpress/etiquette/wedding-invitation-wording.html

 

[NewlyNature12]

NewlyNature12 There's nothing wrong with how you've worded it. The invitation language is based on who is paying for the wedding. Since you and your FH are paying(it seems) you could have left the parents part off. That's quite nice of you to include them as host.

Though the etiquette is there as a guideline...it's not set in stone and you can word it as you wish.

See this link for sample language:
http://www.bellafigura.com/letterpress/etiquette/wedding-invitation-wording.html

Thanks for the link. There are so many ways to word an invitation. I didn't even think she would care, especially given her general disinterest in the wedding. It seems that there is something else going on with her.

 

[Amarilles]

I've seen many invitations worded as "Together with their families/parents" especially when the couple comes from divorced parents. I think this term is used when the families/parents are chipping in though, so it's a bit entitled of mom to get upset her name isn't there.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Invitations are worded based on who is hosting/paying. My dad contributed and we paid for the rest. However, we added all parents names specifically to include DH's deceased mom. His family was really pleased with the wording, so much that one aunt cried and thanked me.


It read something like:

Naturalmanenyc,
Daughter of dad and mom

And fiancé
Son of dad and late mom

Request the honor of your presence.......

 

[CurliDiva]

Since both of my parents are deceased, I purposefully looked for wording similar to OP's invites. I plan to have a separate "in Memorandum" dedication.

Also, if you are paying for your own wedding, then DO what you want to do!

 

[MizAvalon]

Like everyone else said the wording is based on who is paying. Just ordered our invitations this week and went with the "together with our families" version since we are paying for half and my Mom is paying for the other half.

Lots of parents get touchy about this because they think they should have some kind of spotlight on them. I just did it the easy way and left everyone's name off!

 

[QTPie]

Wow I learned something new from this thread..I just thought if it was worded based on who was actually sending out the invitations.

 

[starchgirl]

Weddings (and funerals) bring out all kinds of crazy in relatives trying to live or relive their weddings or get the shine they feel they deserve. I wanted to tell so many people - It's not about you!

Wording is tricky given all the dysfunctional relationships out here. I think that you do what's in your heart but typically the people who are paying get listed on the invitation.

If she's been uninterested up to now in the wedding, you should have a conversation with her that you did not mean to disrespect her, you had no idea she would care about the wording, and you do not have the time to reprint invitations given the closeness of the date of your wedding. Plus that money is better spent elsewhere.

Then to avoid future drama, talk to her about her future expectations about your wedding day (what she's wearing, hair and makeup, who walks her down the aisle, where she sits at the reception, etc.) and politely explain you will take them under consideration, but final decisions will be made by you and your fiancé. That way she feels heard but gets to know you are running things, not her.

 

[futurelonglocks]

My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding without the help of anyone and it is listed as "futurelonglocks and fiancé request the honor of your presence" blah blah.
No issues. But my family knows not to cross that line with me.

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[felic1]

I am sorry that your mom is having a problem so close to your wedding day. Our previous generations sometimes get worked up over things that they consider proper and we don't. I hope you and the future Mr. are very happy!!!