INSECURE MEN??? how do you scope them out?

[Choclatcotton]

I detect I might have an insecure man on my trail? but not sure?
1. How do you detect one?
2.What are the signs?
3. Are they usually short?
4. Possessive? narrow minded? Self asbsorbed?
5. Cheap?

 

[Browntem]

Bumping what a great topic!

I think it's all about their communication and their outlook on life however, these are not exclusive. If they use all that self-defeatist(sp?) language-out for me
Jealousy & constant worrying-out for me
saying you need to make me feel like a man-out for me
in constant need of control of their woman-out for me
discusses any type of suicidal ideation-out for me
lol these things take time to get out of people unfortunately one may be with the person for few years before people reveal these things to others. Ladies please let's pay close attention to a man's surroundings, upbringing, interpersonal relationships because these play a particular role in the development of his character and usually who is as person.

 

[MzK]

I detect I might have an insecure man on my trail? but not sure?
1. How do you detect one?
2.What are the signs?
3. Are they usually short?
4. Possessive? narrow minded? Self asbsorbed?
5. Cheap?

Yaknow, for a second there, I thought you were talking from a physical standpoint for #3.

Anyhoo:

1-Sometimes is hard to tell, unless..they start talking to you--about themselves. Sometimes I see that as in insecurity.
2-refer to #1, also, must be center of attention, talks negatively about themselves or others, afraid to try new things, etc.....
3-Short, as in not frequent? Well, if it's pertaining to say, looks, or something--try to watch for a pattern of negative comments.
4-yes, yes, and YES! LOL.....
5-LOL........that can vary.

 

[tiara76]

overly arrogant or cocky
puts down other men or always comparing himself to other guys
needs constant attention
projects insecure situations onto you (hope you not gonna be gettin all jealous if i talk to another girl actin all crazy)
possessive
overly jealous (no matter how cute and "special" you may feel or automatically taking it as a sign "he loves me" (can be an out of control ego that will act that way with anybody) when a man acts a lil jealous it has the potential to turn into the green monster....check it at the door when it shows up don't let it overtake the relationship
guarded with his emotions
substitutes money for self worth (overly attached to material things....clothes, cars, money not to be confused with enjoying nice clothes cars and money, there is a difference)
abusive verbally and physically

people are always easy to read no matter how much fronting and hiding they are doing....all it takes is the age old adage...of know thyself...when you know yourself and take off your own blinders you will see right thru other people too....it won't take you months or years to see anybody for where they really are (not who they are)

where they are

if somebody deludes you for that long that is a sure sign you are in some sort of self delusion and insecurities about yourself

insecurities are not a bad thing, just things about the self that need to be turned into securities, however people must uncover them vs trying to hide them and stop trying to get others to not uncover them....its common people get into relationships trying to construct and control the situation to avoid ever having to deal with anything that triggers their insecurities

instead of learning to trust your man around other women you will want to try to keep him out of as many situations as you possibly have the power over so that he can't ever be in any "tempting" situations that can be "devastating" to you...you won't grow and safe relationships get old fast no matter how much they make you feel "good" and "safe"..

you don't have to avoid men with insecurities...if that is the case you may never date/marry or be in a relationship again not to mention nobody would probably ever date you if it was advised to not date people with insecurities

our relationship dynamics and definitions of love in alot of cases are trying to 'appease" egos of men and women and alot of times when insecurities do surface they end up taking over the relationship instead of being addressed and discarded

 

[daydreem2876]

-overcompensating for their shortcomings by behaving "extra"
-not a lot positive speak about anything, anybody, or any subject
-delusions of grandeur
-always have to be right
-and all of the above comments

 

[ArrrBeee]

All of the above plus a sudden push for a commitment.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

bragging about how other females are always checking for him... trying to make you jealous.

A good way to check is to subtely check out his face if another man is talking to you about something innocuous like asking what time the train comes or something. If your man's face gets real tight, his pupils shrink down, or he acts p!ssy after that, please

ETA: Oh, and OP, if you think he might be insecure, he IS.

 

[DragonPearl]

We are humans, and as such, we all have insecurities, some of us more than others, some of us less than others.

Water seeks its own level, so imo you will draw to yourself a man whose level of security or insecurity matches your own. Therefore I would work on my own insecurities instead of worrying about insecure men...