I'm tired of feeling guilty

[LifeafterLHCF]

I'm tired of thinking of myself as a lowly unworthy christian.I have felt this way for years.I have tried the whole works thing and I know it doesn't help.If anything it makes me feel worst.I feel I can never be this good christian.I don't go to church regularly which means I don't hold any positiosn of power in the church,I don't tithe like I should because I still don't trust God to provide for me.I tired of feeling guilty because I don't go to church,Im not this sweet friendly person who smiles alot.I don't read the bible everyday and I get tired of hearing gospel music.

I'm confused about my christianity.I sometimes don't believe I am.But then someone says they are spritual or they are religious and I cringe because I know that means they pick and chose what they believe.I know God loves me but I don't show it.I still want to do right but I know your suppose to be happy about it.Like being nice to people.I feel like I change myself because of what I believe a christian is.I try to speak quietyly and be meek but it's not in me.Im a fiery one which I often get told by professors.I know a godly woman is suppose to be quiet and meek and not suppose to fight on thier on behave.But I'm tired of not being true to myself.

Ladies any guidance is welcome.I'm giving up church for a while.I don't believe I will go back to my current church or any church lead by a black man.I like white male or female pastors.Some seem so much more doctrinly sound.I have yet to hear of a black pastor I can respect.I want purity,peace,and purpose.

TIA

 

[Twix]

Pretty Face, I'm a little confused. I'm not Christian persay, (I am the daughter of two pastors and believe in philosophies from the bible) but where did you read in the bible that you had to go to a church lead by a black man to be Christian or to receive the grace of God? When I was a little girl, we went to a church led by a white man but with a diverse congregation. We also ended up, when we moved, going to a church led by a black man, but that was in home (he passed away in an accident several years back, rest his soul). Short post, but I'd like to understand where you're coming from on this...

 

[discobiscuits]

I don't know any quiet & meek godly Christian women including the ones on this forum.

I too once struggled with not trustig God to provide for me & feeling lowly etc. A lot of preachers & messages tell u that we are lowly but we are not. I wish I had some encouragement for u.

All I know for sure is that god loves us of all his creations. He will provide whether u believe he will or not. And anytime u feel anyhing u can go straight to god and in ur own words tell him exactly how u feel & what u think the good the bad and the ugly & he will listen and answer.

 

[sidney]

I heard one pastor put it this way "you are more unholy and more unrighteous than you now know." None of us are perfect, none of us are good. In fact, the bible says that our righetousness is 'as filthy rags.' But what should be present is the DESIRE to do what is holy. When you are truly converted you HATE the things that God hates and LOVE the things that God loves. If your character isn't where you want to be, you recognize it and you desire to change it. Don't worry about being the perfect christian...you will never be the perfect christian but it is what you strive for. Biblical character is acquired by continuing to renew our minds with God's word. It is also acquired by spending time in God's presence and allowing him to change you. It's a gradual process and you won't get there overnight. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are on the right path. Keep your eyes on God and do what you know to do...read the bible, pray, spend time with God. God is the author and finisher of your faith. That is his job. If you are faithful in those things he will do the rest.

Take care,
Sid

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Pretty Face, I'm a little confused. I'm not Christian persay, (I am the daughter of two pastors and believe in philosophies from the bible) but where did you read in the bible that you had to go to a church lead by a black man to be Christian or to receive the grace of God? When I was a little girl, we went to a church led by a white man but with a diverse congregation. We also ended up, when we moved, going to a church led by a black man, but that was in home (he passed away in an accident several years back, rest his soul). Short post, but I'd like to understand where you're coming from on this...

Im not saying that going to a church lead by a black man makes me a christian..I should have put a separate that..its a thought..I have issues with black men esp in the pulpit..they become so haughty and flamboyant..I know grace of God is something personal that I have to accept God as my personal savior..but I know that christians are called to fellowship but my experience with black pastors and largely black congregation im having issues..

 

[lacreolegurl]

sidney - i totally agree with you.

jnapf - i'm sorry you are feeling this way. is there something that brought this about?
imo - i don't think God wants us to constantly feel like we can never live up to His standard for us. yes, He would like us to model our lives after the perfection exemplified by Jesus, but He knows that we are still after all human. That is why his grace and mercy cover us. we could never do enough good deeds to earn our place with Him. so stop trying to be something that you are not and constantly beat yourself up about it. that's not what He wants for you. He loves you whether you read your Bible every day or attend every church activity, whether you smile at everyone or not...but you should spend some time talking to Him, praising Him. you'll find that He'll direct you to where you need to be.
NO ONE is perfect and i can't even imagine trying to be all the time. a relationship with Him is a journey - no one has arrived. NO ONE. even the folks that seem to have it all together.
i say all this to say...you are not alone. i think most christians feel unworthy of the goodness of God at times and we all feel guilt at times for not giving the time we should to study His word or fellowship with His people. i know i do. we all struggle at different stages.
have you read the story of the prodigal son? i feel that's how God thinks of us...he welcomes us with open arms, just as that young man's father did, even after we run off and do things or behave in unchristianlike ways - which we all do.
i haven't read in the bible where we women are supposed to be quiet and meek. i think God made us all differently and doesn't want us to fit into a particular mode. we aren't all supposed to be the same way. he made you fiery for a reason. He likes that passion in you.
please don't completely give up on the church experience or one whole race of pastors. there are respectable men and women of God out there with an annointing. remember these people maybe called to preach, but they are still human. don't put your faith in the person. keep your faith in God.
also, you won't find purity, peace and purpose in a church building. that is something you need to work with God on...individually, in your prayer closet. this is about your relationship with Him...a pastor or church will not get you there. He will.

 

[Ije4eva]

I think many of us have been where you are because especially early in your Christian walk its very easy to kinda be all over the place. One thing I can tell you for sure is that its part of the enemy's tactic. Giving your life to Christ is SUPPOSED to make you more free, not stifled and guilty. Its not supposed to change your personality and turn you into something your not, or make you feel worthless. Its accepting God's love that make's you feel worthy and proud of who you are.

Its a process girl, but in the mean time, I want to reccomend some great teachers of the word who've helped me and a lot of people I know. Joyce Meyer (author of "Battlefield of the Mind") and Chip Ingram. Their websites are www.joycemeyer.org and www.lote.org.

I go on their websites sometimes daily and listen to their podcasts and download free mp3s etc. In addition to the great church and bible study group I'm a part of, these things have made a difference in my walk and restoration as a person. Don't be fooled into thinking you have to spend a certain amount of time with God, give a certain amount, or act a certain way to be a true Christian. You're a Christian because you've asked Christ to come into your life and save you...period. You've trusted Christ and as you grow to know and love Him all those things will follow, He will lead you.

Hope that Helps. Love and prayers and Merry Christmas!!!

 

[Chrissy811]

I think many of us have been where you are because especially early in your Christian walk its very easy to kinda be all over the place. One thing I can tell you for sure is that its part of the enemy's tactic. Giving your life to Christ is SUPPOSED to make you more free, not stifled and guilty. Its not supposed to change your personality and turn you into something your not, or make you feel worthless. Its accepting God's love that make's you feel worthy and proud of who you are.

Its a process girl, but in the mean time, I want to reccomend some great teachers of the word who've helped me and a lot of people I know. Joyce Meyer (author of "Battlefield of the Mind") and Chip Ingram. Their websites are www.joycemeyer.org and www.lote.org.

I go on their websites sometimes daily and listen to their podcasts and download free mp3s etc. In addition to the great church and bible study group I'm a part of, these things have made a difference in my walk and restoration as a person. Don't be fooled into thinking you have to spend a certain amount of time with God, give a certain amount, or act a certain way to be a true Christian. You're a Christian because you've asked Christ to come into your life and save you...period. You've trusted Christ and as you grow to know and love Him all those things will follow, He will lead you.

Hope that Helps. Love and prayers and Merry Christmas!!!

I to agree especially about Chip Ingram, his teaching is excellent. In fact his current teaching is called "Free" there is no charge for his downloads.

 

[Ije4eva]

Yeah I'm actually listening to one of his messages right now from that series. He's talking specifically about guilt that Christian's experience in this series, that's why I replied to this post because it was such a coincidence but not lol. ("Released - What keeps us from experiencing God's love Part 3"; daily podcasts listed on the side of this link - http://www.lotemedia.com/blog/?p=311)

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Thank you ladies..I already listen to Joyce Meyer...I cant wait til I have more money to buy some more of her tapes..but I get the ones on clearance often..

I hate the legalistic feeling..makes me feel that if Im not some docile quiet meek woman like I keep researching Im not a good godly woman.I feel like Im doing what I should be doing finally dealing with my issues,learning how to keep a home,putting my time with family etc..Its good there are ppl out there that address these issues.I feel this came on bc Im really want to go into the deep end with God.I can hear him,feel his direction,I feel his discernment about things and ppl now that blows me away..

I think many of us have been where you are because especially early in your Christian walk its very easy to kinda be all over the place. One thing I can tell you for sure is that its part of the enemy's tactic. Giving your life to Christ is SUPPOSED to make you more free, not stifled and guilty. Its not supposed to change your personality and turn you into something your not, or make you feel worthless. Its accepting God's love that make's you feel worthy and proud of who you are.

Its a process girl, but in the mean time, I want to reccomend some great teachers of the word who've helped me and a lot of people I know. Joyce Meyer (author of "Battlefield of the Mind") and Chip Ingram. Their websites are www.joycemeyer.org and www.lote.org.

I go on their websites sometimes daily and listen to their podcasts and download free mp3s etc. In addition to the great church and bible study group I'm a part of, these things have made a difference in my walk and restoration as a person. Don't be fooled into thinking you have to spend a certain amount of time with God, give a certain amount, or act a certain way to be a true Christian. You're a Christian because you've asked Christ to come into your life and save you...period. You've trusted Christ and as you grow to know and love Him all those things will follow, He will lead you.

Hope that Helps. Love and prayers and Merry Christmas!!!

I to agree especially about Chip Ingram, his teaching is excellent. In fact his current teaching is called "Free" there is no charge for his downloads.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

Do you mind me asking which denomination you are affiliated with?

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Do you mind me asking which denomination you are affiliated with?

No problem..I was born and rasied in Baptist church then did the undemoninational church..then my last church was a baptist church but was run like the old timey ones..I have issues with the pulpit..I cant respect black men who act haughty and as though you need to look like some beauty queen to get some assistance..maybe Im looking into it too deep..

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I only asked because you seem so bound. Bound by your past, bound by your body, bound by your church, bound by what you think you should be, etc, etc, etc.

You should visit other churches and other denominations. I know that we all need to remain humble, but you sound like you need to be a little bit more like Caleb. You need to be in a chuch that encourages you to live an abundant life, and you need to believe in God and his desire to see you live happy and healthy. It's the devil that comes to steal, kill, and destroy!

I'm not one to believe that I am ONLY a lowly sinner...I believe that I am a privileged child of God, made in His own image.
I am not struggling with the weight of the world...I am more than a conquerer!
I am not weak... I am WELL ABLE!

I know that this has become cliche, but you really need to learn to SPEAK OVER YOURSELF! Encourage yourself in the Lord! Death and life are in the power of the tongue, so you need to speak the Word over your life. Speak those things that are not as though they were- until they are!

God is such a GREAT God, and we can't limit Him or His word to humans and their faults. He looks beyond our faults and sees our needs, and you have to learn to look beyond your own insecurities and become confident in the Lord. God has not given us the spirit of fear, so who gave it to you???

Get in the Word and find a good Bible-based church. You really have to break the shackles! God wants us to remain humble and reverent, and yes, we should remember that hell is real. But we should also remember that Jesus came so that we might have life and have it abundantly! Life on earth and in Heaven! God's power is bigger than you past, bigger than your body issues, bigger than any church, etc.

He can deliver you from the shackles. I know because He has done it for me!

 

[Prudent1]

Time. Give yourself more time. As you grow and mature in the things of God he will change you into the woman he created you to be but it takes time. Sometimes he does a work quickly and sometimes years may go by. There are a lot of factors involved in our individual circumstances. We must do our part by being willing and he will do His part. BTW- being 'meek and quiet' doesn't mean you have no voice. Doesn't mean you are a wallflower or emptyheaded in life. It means not to be alley, ghetto, and uncouth, uncultured, having no class. A loud uncouth woman is lead by her emotions and is out of control in all areas of her life. She responds to situations in wild and erratic ways. She cannot reason. A tornado at some points is quiet but no one here would doubt its awesome power/ strength. We have to learn to be like that. There is tremendous power and strength in knowing when to speak/act, what to say/act on, how to say/ what action, and when to shut up/ or wait. The bible refers to Moses as a meek man. Yet we know he was not a push over. All we have to do is read of the many choices he had to make and be courageous in carrying out as he lead a large group of ungrateful ppl through the desert. Meekness is such an important thing to possess until it is a fruit of the spirit. Moses was/ is one of the greatest leaders of all times. Meekness like submission has gotten a twisted definition as time has gone on. It is not a bad thing. It is controlled strength. You have nothing to feel guilty about. God convicts and corrects us. Satan is the accuser. Don't give up. Find a good bible based church. Don't get caught up in what color everyone's skin is. Continue to pray and ask God for his direction in this area too. He will help you.

 

[Poohbear]

Just Not A Pretty Face,

Last year, I felt similar to how you felt. I would beat up on myself about every little sin that I would commit. It made me question my faith and wonder if I was a true Christian or not. I would read in my Bible how we are to be imitators of Jesus and I would do the opposite sometimes. I would feel extremely remorseful for my sins. And once I asked for forgiveness, I still could not get over it. I believe that was Satan keeping that doubt and fear in me to stay depressed and to battle with my mind.

I also had some hangups about certain Christian beliefs, fundamentals, and traditions as well. I would see so much contradiction and hypocrisy. I gave up on church for awhile too. I felt like "What's the use? No matter what I do, it's not good enough." Then I realized what lacreolegurl has said in her post. Living a Christian life isn't about living by a law or code of conduct or by what your preacher says. Being a Christian is about faith and obedience, not just obedience alone.

And you know what? The Bible does not tell us how often we should go to church, how often we should pray, or how often we should read our Bible. It just merely tells us to do it....

Let us go into the house of the Lord... (Psalms 122:1)

Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together... (Hebrew 10:25)

Pray without ceasing... (1 Thess. 5:17)

Study to show yourself approved unto God... (2 Tim. 2:15)

No where in those verses does it say how often we should do these things...

Whatever you do, do not try to live up to someone else's standards. For example, I've heard the pastor of my church (who happens to be my father) say once: "If you don't go to Sunday School, Sunday morning worship, Wednesday night Bible study, participate in every ministry that the church has, then your salvation is weak and you don't love God enough." This is a LIE! Don't let men put their own agenda and implications in the Bible. You must read it for yourself.

It is good that we feel guilty or ashamed to some extent when we do wrong, but we cannot dwell on it. Feeling bad about something bad we did shows that we hate sin and we hate what God hates. Dwelling on these wrongdoings will allow Satan to bring us down even more. Don't let him do it. Keep the strength and faith. Call on the name of the Lord when you find yourself in a tempting situation. And if you give into sin, immediately pray and ask for forgiveness and work on repentance.

As a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ, you are righteous with God. Realize that righteousness is not the same as sinlessness (Romans 3:23). No one but Jesus Christ has ever been sinless—free from all wrong thoughts and actions. You must be aware of your heart and attitude toward God and carefully obey God to the best of your ability in all aspects of your life.

Hope that helps. Take care and God bless your soul!