I'm sooo frustrated with my look!

[DarkDesire]

I'm over in Spain to study for a year - and I sometimes feel that I let my hair get to raggedy - but I've stuck it out for the past year, because I've had some phenomenal growth with extensions - that get moisturised, treated - the works. I really want to go back to university in London with a new look - I am a real girly girl, and I know my messy hair gives off more of a flaky, arty vibe - which I'm not cool with. I'm completely natural, and sometimes.. I craaave straight hair - and I'm gonna fault macherieamour amongst the rest of you lovelies for this. I sit on the bus, daydreaming about when I'm going to get my hair relaxed - go to a proper hairdressers that knows how to a proper mutlidimensional wetcut - go home and rollerset it, moisturbounce it, really take care of it. I want it to be black, shiny, healthy and lonnnng. But I worry that if I go through with it - it won't be so healthy - (all the hit and miss horror stories freak me out and I worry that I'll really regret the natural hair. All hope would also be gone - as I don't know if I have the patience to start from scratch again). Also all of the women growing out their relaxers are putting me off. I can heat straighten my hair - but then I can get the wet cut (dry ones never look as good to me) and the moisturise/rewet/straighten/moisturise routine doesn't really work for my busy schedule... also, no matter how much I protect it - my hair shows signs of heat damage with every straighten.

I hate it, because if I look good in what i'm wearing - my hair throws the look right off. I really want to go back to uni with a new look - but relaxing is such a huge decision, what do you all think?

I'm sorry it's so long erplexed

 

[Nonie]

Can you get wig and wear it for a while so you don't have to make a drastic change till you are sure?

 

[Paradox]

I am in the same situation.

 

[Neith]

There are some very elegant, chic, girly styles that you can do with natural hair of any texture and length.

Research natural styles and get your butt into some natural fotkis

Not that I can talk because I'm also stylistically challenged lol, but I am the artsy type (not flakey at all )

Who ever said that straight has to be the "norm" or the only way that stylish, girly people wear their hair?

 

[DarkDesire]

well, it's def not the norm - but I feel like i've done everything I possibly can with my natural hair - I've had it my whole life - and I'm quite creative with styles. But I'm fed up with the way it ends up being... fixed, I guess. I want it to glossily blow in the breeze now, lol. Twists and single plaits don't seem to work for me, because pressing in the past has made my hair kind of fine for those styles - even though I have a lot of hair on my head. I've also done loads with synthetic hair - and am doing what I think may be my last stretch with extensions for a looong time - I think I've done the natural to death, really... And my texture could maybe defined as mass, when it's virgin. It has no defined texture that can be left in a wash and go. I think I'm just worried about regrets...

 

[gabulldawg]

This is exactly why I am relaxed. While it can be a pain sometimes, I feel that I can exercise more creativity with my hair. When I was natural all I would do was get a press and curl anyway because I felt that natural styles were so limiting and can often look unpolished if you don't know what you are doing. I would recommend texlaxing, though, rather than relaxing bone straight. That would loosen up your natural curl pattern and also make your hair more manageable and easier to work with. You could also transition from straight looks to curly looks more easily.

 

[BostonMaria]

OP, you mentioned you're going to Spain... do you know how to self-relax? Because I doubt you'll find a hair dresser over there that knows how to do relaxers.

Can you maybe buy a high end Chi Flatiron and see if you can get that nice straight look you're longing for?

 

[shmmr]

oh my. I FEEL YOU. I have an appt tomorrow for a consultation. I'm relaxing! . I'm very excited about it. I've been natural for 6-7 years. Originally I went natural b/c I couldn't keep my relaxed hair healthy. But now I'm here on the boards. And the natural hair no longer fits in with my lifestyle ( I want to work out, not spend 2-3 hours on my hair if I don' want to - I never wore natural styles anyway always straightened, and not have to worry about reversion if it rained or was just humid). Now that the reason for my switch to natural has been removed, no reason to look back. I'll miss the curls (that no one except my husband got to see anyway) but I'm happy with my decision. You have to do what will work best for you. Take your time and think about it - I have been considering for quite a while and actually tried out some natural styles just to make sure (they never made it out of the house!).

Dont rush into any decision, do what will please you. I'm sure that youll be able to make the choice that will work with you. Good luck