i'm soo freaking frustrated!! do you feel this way??

[L.Brown1114]

ok so i havnt posted/been on here in like forever it feels likeso ill talk like im a newbie. I am relaxed at this moment and idk if i want to keep relaxing or go natural. both of them have their pros and cons. i have been natural once and the only reason i relaxed was because i was impatient and it was short and i dont look good with short hair so for length i relaxed. right now i have a weave in as a PS (straight) and I am getting kinky curly next so i can see which one i like the most on me. but aside from that i want to dye my hair pink and purple and do cute cuts and stuff like that but i dont think it will look good on my 4a hair natural hair. im sorry if your confused but basically idk if i should relax or stay natural. im sooo tired of relaxers but the styles i want require straight hair do u guys have any suggestions???

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

try QUICKWEAVES maybe (flip colors frequently)????

i understand where you're coming from babe, but i have such an affinity to coils, curls, & kinks in BLAZIN' twistouts...... i don't think i will ever look back


go thru the natural hair texture threads for pics (i get sea sick from the waves & curls in those.... nothing better)!!!.....& then maybe glide thru the relaxed hair threads til you're exhausted

see if you're pulled one way or the other

i'll even be willing to buy you a pink wig! a la Nikki Minaj??? (seriously)

 

[L.Brown1114]

try QUICKWEAVES maybe (flip colors frequently)????

i understand where you're coming from babe, but i have such an affinity to coils, curls, & kinks in BLAZIN' twistouts...... i don't think i will ever look back


go thru the natural hair texture threads for pics (i get sea sick from the waves & curls in those.... nothing better)!!!.....& then maybe glide thru the relaxed hair threads til you're exhausted

see if you're pulled one way or the other

i'll even be willing to buy you a pink wig! a la Nikki Minaj??? (seriously)

lol no pink wigs like niki please
thaanks so much for answering, 150 looks but no response.....but thanks again for thr advice. i was leary on buying human hair lace wigs then dying the hell out of it but maybe i should just buy one and get all the crazy hair styles out of the way lol

 

[Nonie]

ok so i havnt posted/been on here in like forever it feels likeso ill talk like im a newbie. I am relaxed at this moment and idk if i want to keep relaxing or go natural. both of them have their pros and cons. i have been natural once and the only reason i relaxed was because i was impatient and it was short and i dont look good with short hair so for length i relaxed. right now i have a weave in as a PS (straight) and I am getting kinky curly next so i can see which one i like the most on me. but aside from that i want to dye my hair pink and purple and do cute cuts and stuff like that but i dont think it will look good on my 4a hair natural hair. im sorry if your confused but basically idk if i should relax or stay natural. im sooo tired of relaxers but the styles i want require straight hair do u guys have any suggestions???

You relaxed because you wanted long hair and were impatient. Relaxing just stretched your hair to make it look longer but the growth rate was going to be the same. Methinks you should've thrown on a wig or full weave for length and then straightened your hair after a while so that you wouldn't have been making a permanent change that you now regret. But that is neither here nor there, since it's water under the bridge; just mentioning it so that you can consider it next time.

Color can look good on natural hair, although I can't say those colors would be appealing to me, but maybe to another. The problem with wanting to do so much--change colors when the mood hits--is you will damage your hair. This is where wigs or weaves would come in handy. You can abuse the fake hair all your want, while keeping your own hair in good shape.

Why are you tired of relaxers? I don't follow. Except for touch ups, what other "WORK" is there to wear you out so that you're "tired"? Natural hair will also require some work from you so it's not like you will get to rest. (Not trying to be funny; just trying to figure out what it is about relaxers that has you fed up.)

My suggestion is you keep wearing weaves (I wish Reniece could hook you up)...and enjoy the various styles you can do. You can transition in them and in between them, get to familiarize yourself with your texture and how to handle it at different lengths. Then you can decide if you really want to continue transitioning or just stretch your relaxer.

I also think you need to really look deep inside and ask L.Brown what it is SHE wants. Not what looks cool to her friends or gets the most praise, but what it is that makes you feel sexy and feminine and happy, and go for that. If it's long natural hair, fake it till you make it by PSing your own hair and showcasing nice cute weaves/wigs. If it's long flowing relaxed hair, then go for it and ignore all the people who seem to be having a blast transitioning. Methinks you get swayed by what's going on around you or on the forum. IIRC, when you went natural, you seemed so overwhelmed. I think taking the time to know your hair and to see what IT can do, not trying to make it do what someone else's hair did when they used X product...but really seeing what it is YOUR hair does...will make you start to enjoy it more, regardless of what you're doing.

With permission (yes I asked), I would like to share this photo of Tapioca Pudding's hair (Focus on the pic to the right). I am so in love with this do that I'm about to hurt her for not knowing how it is that she creates the diamond shapes. Apparently it wasn't deliberate but isn't this pretty?

​

Now if her hair was longer, she'd have missed out on this part of the journey when she was able to show off this look and make me a "hater". I mean I can't even try the style anymore coz I'm past that length and don't want to cut my hair so...and wouldn't even know how to do. I'm getting mad again that I didn't think or create that style first.

The hair journey should not be a race but an adventure whereby you get to enjoy every step of the journey so much so that you don't miss it when it's gone. You just need to explore what it is you can do with it at that stage so that you don't get bored or frustrated.

Whatever your length, there are many at that length who can offer suggestions and your job then is to give those suggestions a try...not all of them, but just pick one that seems doable. If it doesn't work, then try the next one.

Imagine if you would just leave your hair alone and just learn all you can about weaves (I hear BHM is the place for that)...you would just wake up one day with hair down your back that was healthy but you would not have missed out on all the things you are in a hurry to do, along the way.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I was in the same boat until I realized I have sabotaged myself from having long hair. I kept BCing, then relaxing. What I have found out is that my natural hair retains more growth. My hair grew so fast when I was natural and I couldn't appreciate it because my hair was short. I also stunk at protective styling. Since the beginning of my transition, I have engrossed myself in You tube videos. I have learn how to 2 strand twist and flat twist. Cornrows are hard, but I will learn eventually. I have recently learned how to roller set my hair and it gets really strait. I also love strait styles. You can either roller set your natural hair or flat iron. You can do the same strait styles with natural hair. Don't let that hold you back!

 

[CB1731]

I had this battle with myself for a long long time but I finally just decided I'm going to go natural. If I don't like it, I can always relax. I am sick of just wondering what my natural curls looks like. It's time for me to see them. One peek at Whimsy's hair and I was sold on going natural. lol I do love my hair straight so I will be learning how to rollerset as well. I understand how difficult the decision is. Good luck in whatever you choose!

 

[L.Brown1114]

thanks ladies for the kind words

@ nonie: im tired of paying someone $60 to relax my hair and im too scared to relax my own hair. when i was natural i never needed protein just moisture and with my relaxed hair getting the balance down (and it changes every touchup) is annoying. i was overwhelmed when i first went natural but i found the steamer which was a God send and i think if i transitioned longer i wouldnt have had a problem. i just couldnt stand looking like a boy. i was thinking of just weaving it up for a long time and letting my hair grow and CB is right i can always relax but hopefully this time i wont

 

[Sianna]

thanks ladies for the kind words

@ nonie: im tired of paying someone $60 to relax my hair and im too scared to relax my own hair. when i was natural i never needed protein just moisture and with my relaxed hair getting the balance down (and it changes every touchup) is annoying. i was overwhelmed when i first went natural but i found the steamer which was a God send and i think if i transitioned longer i wouldnt have had a problem. i just couldnt stand looking like a boy. i was thinking of just weaving it up for a long time and letting my hair grow and CB is right i can always relax but hopefully this time i wont

From the way it sounds, you are leaning toward going natural again. I remember when you were natural before and you didn't seem too happy the first time.

I agree with Nonie, in that you should really take the time to consider what YOU want to do and why. Maybe even sit down and do a list of pros and cons for each relaxers and natural hair. If you decide to go natural again, maybe do it gradually. You can always transition and/or wear weaves.

You'll be fine! Just don't let yourself get too worked up about it and don't be swayed by what what other people are doing.

Oh, on the off chance that you do decide to BC, remember that having super short hair does NOT mean you have to look like a boy! I never really felt comfortable with super short hair either, but I worked it with some light make-up and big earrings!

Even though I never wanted hair that short, I actually never felt more beautiful in my life than when I was sporting my TWA!

Please keep us posted on whatever you decide to do!

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i would suggest transitioning to natural, while staying in wigs and weaves. that way you can wear your hair straight, but color it and experiment with different cuts and lengths. if you try to do all that on relaxed or natural hair, i don't think you will get far, and you will continue to be unsatisfied with the length. ♥

 

[B3e]

You could perhaps engross yourself in making wigs that fit the styles you want. That way you can stretch/transition, whatever the case may be in the end. You seem to want to experiment with styles but can't picture being able to do so with your own hair in its natural state, but are also annoyed by the upkeep necessary to remain relaxed. I feel your frustration. I love to experiment, and love wigs so that's not so much an issue, but there are a million and one natural styles I want to try but am scared my hair is too short for. Even though I'm past SL. Perspective/self-image can be so quirky sometimes.

I think being distracted is the best medicine for impatience. I get really impatient/frustrated with my hair too and have found that when I'm not so focused on its inabilities to do what I think it should do and instead place my attention on something else, my hair benefits.

But of course even knowing being distracted is best, I slip back into that frustrated state so I definitely understand where you're coming from. Hope you find a happy place .

 

[Tiye]

ok so i havnt posted/been on here in like forever it feels likeso ill talk like im a newbie. I am relaxed at this moment and idk if i want to keep relaxing or go natural. both of them have their pros and cons. i have been natural once and the only reason i relaxed was because i was impatient and it was short and i dont look good with short hair so for length i relaxed. right now i have a weave in as a PS (straight) and I am getting kinky curly next so i can see which one i like the most on me. but aside from that i want to dye my hair pink and purple and do cute cuts and stuff like that but i dont think it will look good on my 4a hair natural hair. im sorry if your confused but basically idk if i should relax or stay natural. im sooo tired of relaxers but the styles i want require straight hair do u guys have any suggestions???

Since you want to play with color and cuts I think you should have fun with weaves for now. Weave hair can be any color you want and cut with no regrets. Plus if you like short you can get even the best weave hair for an affordable price and as for bss short human hair that's dirt cheap. Just braid your own hair up and enjoy. If/when you get tired of playing and want to rock your own hair you'll find the length you've acquired while it was tucked away very rewarding.