I'm so discouraged lately...

[DarkAngell]

I BC'ed in march. Right now i'm 17 months post. I just don't know what to do with my hair! I'm clueless. I've tried all the products most have mentioned for curl definition. I've tried WNGs , braidouts ( disaster ). MY curls just arent quite right. I've got a patch of hair on top that seems to be just...dead. no hair type, curl pattern, its just pure frizzzzzz and it doesnt wanna sit down no matter what i do.

I get the best curl definition when i leave ALL the conditioner in....but the problem with that is that my hair WILL NOT dry...at all. It stays soaked all day. Its annoying enough now, but WTH am i gonna do in the winter when i can't be walking outside with soaking wet hair?

Even though i chopped i just tie it back and put a hair piece on which is what i did my entire transition because my hair just don't look right The one time is did ( see avatar) is the only time it looked really good.

I've been considering relaxing again.

I've taken so many ladies advice on here and still can't get it right.

Any naturals ever go through this and get past it? How did you get through this? Any words of advice?

Thanks for reading

 

[KAT25]

I am not natural but I just wanted to say stay encouraged and also add have you ever tried leaving a little conditioner in your hair after you are washing it to help with the curls... there was a post about this a while back .. let me see if I can find it

 

[JustKiya]

Try rinsing ALL of the conditioner out, lightly patting some of the water out of your hair, and then putting a healthy amount of conditioner back in, and see if that will give you similar results without the never-dry issue.

You might also want to consider that you might not have the sort of curls that you are trying to get, and your hair isn't being difficult, it's just trying to let you know it's limitations.

Good luck, and I hope you figure things out.....

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

I'll bump for you b/c I really don't know how to define my curls either. Idk maybe making a spritz with water and cond.? I'm no expert... I'm still learning. I noticed not all parts of my hair have defined curls either.

 

[Irresistible]

I BC'ed in march. Right now i'm 17 months post. I just don't know what to do with my hair! I'm clueless. I've tried all the products most have mentioned for curl definition. I've tried WNGs , braidouts ( disaster ). MY curls just arent quite right. I've got a patch of hair on top that seems to be just...dead. no hair type, curl pattern, its just pure frizzzzzz and it doesnt wanna sit down no matter what i do.

I get the best curl definition when i leave ALL the conditioner in....but the problem with that is that my hair WILL NOT dry...at all. It stays soaked all day. Its annoying enough now, but WTH am i gonna do in the winter when i can't be walking outside with soaking wet hair?

Even though i chopped i just tie it back and put a hair piece on which is what i did my entire transition because my hair just don't look right The one time is did ( see avatar) is the only time it looked really good.

I've been considering relaxing again.

I've taken so many ladies advice on here and still can't get it right.

Any naturals ever go through this and get past it? How did you get through this? Any words of advice?

Thanks for reading

I dont know what to tell you about the wet hair, my hair is almost always wet

 

[lilsparkle825]

I get the best curl definition when i leave ALL the conditioner in....but the problem with that is that my hair WILL NOT dry...at all. It stays soaked all day. Its annoying enough now, but WTH am i gonna do in the winter when i can't be walking outside with soaking wet hair?

i just replied to your post in my thread about this...have you tried plopping? leave all the conditioner in then tie your hair up in a t-shirt for 10-15 mins. or use a diffuser.

 

[SunnyDelight]

Okay - don't be discouraged. Have you tried clarifying? I've even read where clarifying with baking soda works to define texture.

If leaving the conditioner in right now gives you the texture you want, I'd say do that. Moisture isn't bad for your hair at all, that's what we all strive for so I don't think its such a bad thing that your hair stays wet when you leave some conditioner in.

I understand the not being wet in the winter thing - hopefully someone else will chime in or you will find a balance and your curls.

 

[DarkAngell]

Try rinsing ALL of the conditioner out, lightly patting some of the water out of your hair, and then putting a healthy amount of conditioner back in, and see if that will give you similar results without the never-dry issue.

You might also want to consider that you might not have the sort of curls that you are trying to get, and your hair isn't being difficult, it's just trying to let you know it's limitations.

Good luck, and I hope you figure things out.....

At this point i'm not even trying to achieve a certain curl anymore...i just want it to look decent! lol I tried using a little conditioner and it didn't do a whole lot. maybe ill try it again.

Do you think maybe it will get easier as it gets longer? and i dont have a zillion layers to work with?

ETA: I know i have some sort of curl pattern. Its hard to explain. I look at my curls and i just know there's something i'm not doin right. Theres pics in fotki of my hair texture.

 

[Irresistible]

At this point i'm not even trying to achieve a certain curl anymore...i just want it to look decent! lol I tried using a little conditioner and it didn't do a whole lot. maybe ill try it again.

Do you think maybe it will get easier as it gets longer? and i dont have a zillion layers to work with?

with length comes more options , even for the 'wet hair' being up in a bun or pony tail, the bun probably being best for winter, so your edges dry faster but the bulk of your wet hair is up in the bun

what about hair butters?

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

I think it will be easier when it gets longer. I think the longer it gets, the more curl you may - or may not see. But at least you will know what you're dealing with. Just cont to give it the TLC it needs and you should be fine!

 

[LynnieB]

At this point i'm not even trying to achieve a certain curl anymore...i just want it to look decent! lol I tried using a little conditioner and it didn't do a whole lot. maybe ill try it again.

Do you think maybe it will get easier as it gets longer? and i dont have a zillion layers to work with?

ETA: I know i have some sort of curl pattern. Its hard to explain. I look at my curls and i just know there's something i'm not doin right. Theres pics in fotki of my hair texture.

If I shake my head up and down any harder, i risk having it fall off onto my keyboard and rolling onto the floor.

Must. Give. It. Time. sis - patience here is key and a style that will get you over the hump.

what styles have you tried so far especially the protective styles.

 

[DarkAngell]

If I shake my head up and down any harder, i risk having it fall off onto my keyboard and rolling onto the floor.

Must. Give. It. Time. sis - patience here is key and a style that will get you over the hump.

what styles have you tried so far especially the protective styles.

Really I haven't done anything out of the ordinary. I try to work with it being loose. other then that ill put it in a little pony tail. I lvoed the way it looked in my avatar and that was just pinne up. But that took all day for my hair to dry just the PERFECT amount to pin it up that way Havent been able to achieve it since.

Do you think it would be a good idea to go get a a better cut? I BC'ed myself. Maybe they cant lessen the amount of layers i have and give it a better shape??

 

[LynnieB]

Really I haven't done anything out of the ordinary. I try to work with it being loose. other then that ill put it in a little pony tail. I lvoed the way it looked in my avatar and that was just pinne up. But that took all day for my hair to dry just the PERFECT amount to pin it up that way Havent been able to achieve it since.

Do you think it would be a good idea to go get a a better cut? I BC'ed myself. Maybe they cant lessen the amount of layers i have and give it a better shape??

I Bc'd myself too girl but i went between puffs and twists to get some grow out. I even did some rollersets for variety (emphasis on some).

Sure you could get a cut but you'll definitely need to go to someone you trust not to muss up your hair.

I got through the rough patches without a style cut. my thoughts were that i'd wind up having to grow that out too and i wasn't feeling that.

take some time and think about it, start researching different salons then pop in to see how they're doing with their clients and if you like what you see and hear, go for it.

whatever it takes to make you feel good!!!

 

[glam-]

Aww, I understand how frustrating that can be. I do think that as it gets longer it will be a little easier to work with.
Lil Morenita, have you considered a protective style like braids, a weave, a wig- something so that you won't have to deal with it (and with potential frustration) every day for a while.

I did this during awkward stages and it really helped.

 

[DarkAngell]

Aww, I understand how frustrating that can be. I do think that as it gets longer it will be a little easier to work with.
Lil Morenita, have you considered a protective style like braids, a weave, a wig- something so that you won't have to deal with it (and with potential frustration) every day for a while.

I did this during awkward stages and it really helped.

funny that you mention that. I just came outta braids. I had micros in for 2 months. Despite all the negatives i've heard, my hair actually did well with them. I was considering doing braids on and off for a while but at the same time i could see how this would be a bad idea because then i'd sort of be avoidng the issue.

I'm also starting to wonder if BC'ed right in the middle of an ugly stage.

Thanks everyone for your input so far!

 

[cocoagirl]

When I first went natural, I had absolutely no idea how to style my hair. I tried to achieve the curls that other girls had until I realized that my hair just didn't have those curls. Try 2 strand twists, which can turn into 2 strand twist-outs after a few days. You can try a straw set, or any type of roller set as those can last a few days at a time. For the majority of my nappturality, I just wore my hair pushed back with a bra strap headband and wore it in a puff. It was quick and easy. Stay encouraged and perhaps look at napptural albums to see if you can find some styles that you can duplicated..back then nappturality.com was my savior.

 

[cieramichele]

This is how I feel today...well, lately. My hair is a freaking fuzz ball and I hate it. I DO have curly hair all over...some wavy but UGH. Im really hating it right now.