I'm so close to giving up

[vavouna]

Hey ladies..happy Easter to everyone. Hope you all had a wonderful day. I have been on this journey for the past 5 years on my own. I joined lhcf about last January of 2009. I have learned so much and have even become a product junkie during my journey. My edges were fried but I have noticed that they are slowly filling in. I look at other post and see people who have bc and within a year are far more better than I have...which makes me want to give uperplexed. My husband even made it worst by saying...all this time and money and product you spend on your hair...why is your hair not growing? Doesn't he know that this is the wrong thing to say to someone like me? I wanted to ***** slap the ...crap out of him. I moisturize...protein...been wearing a wig....have all good products, but my hair is just not growing. I need some words of encouragement from you lovely sisters who understand how I feel. I'm getting ready to go back to church for the afternoon celebration so hopefully someone will write something to make me feel better after I come back from praising God....cause I so much want to give up and say that maybe long hair is not for everyone.

 

[aa9746]

Hey ladies..happy Easter to everyone. Hope you all had a wonderful day. I have been on this journey for the past 5 years on my own. I joined lhcf about last January of 2009. I have learned so much and have even become a product junkie during my journey. My edges were fried but I have noticed that they are slowly filling in. I look at other post and see people who have bc and within a year are far more better than I have...which makes me want to give uperplexed. My husband even made it worst by saying...all this time and money and product you spend on your hair...why is your hair not growing? Doesn't he know that this is the wrong thing to say to someone like me? I wanted to ***** slap the ...crap out of him. I moisturize...protein...been wearing a wig....have all good products, but my hair is just not growing. I need some words of encouragement from you lovely sisters who understand how I feel. I'm getting ready to go back to church for the afternoon celebration so hopefully someone will write something to make me feel better after I come back from praising God....cause I so much want to give up and say that maybe long hair is not for everyone.

Happy Easter to you!! I'm sure if you post your detailed regi someone will be able to provide some good advice.

 

[Nonie]

You probably will get more help if you share your regimen. Maybe people can see what you need to tweak to get better results. Also, what's your diet like? Exercising and eating healthy nutritious food and not junk can also make a difference. Remember every time you consume something that does your body no good, it's taking the place of something that could've made a positive difference.

Otherwise, don't feel bad. I've been here since 2003 and I'm not even at APL. Granted I've had a few set backs, some self-induced (heat happy: pressing hair every morning after a shower), some caused by someone else (scissor-happy stylist going to town on my head). But I am not in a race with anyone so I don't compare my progress with anyone's. I also don't keep checking to see how far I've gone. I love surprises...like the one I got recently when finger-combing a braid section I had just undone to rebraid and realized I was stretching it further than I remember. I looked in the mirror and cheesed coz that one section has reached APL. It is probably the only one, but I don't care. I look at this journey more as an adventure than a race to some place.

I think you will enjoy your hair better if you stop worrying about what others are doing or how far along they are and just explore your hair to see what you can do with it and have fun. It's when you're having fun that length creeps up on you. I still cheese when I remember Mwedzi's own surprise. She has had long hair as long as I've known her but she had no idea how long it had grown coz she was so busy having fun with it.

Do that and you will be pleasantly surprised. But first share your regimen so you can get any input that might help tweak your regimen, in case it is partly to blame.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Girl, it is Sooooooeasy to get down in the dumps about it.erplexed Each of our Journey's Are Tailormade and everyone's challenges are different.

I lost 90% of my Hair in Dec. 2008, due to a Horrible Salon Mishap and upon being a part of this board found out (through Research) it was also from: Overlapping, Over/Double Processing, Poor Neutralization.

I was going to a Salon on a Weekly Basis. Coupled with that, I am in some stage of Perimenopause, which also can bring it's own set of Hormonal related hair issues.

After my Hair Fell out, I decided to take matters into my own Hands. So, Currently, I am looking at it as a Hobby/Project sorta like Gardening. And it's been a lot of Fun. (And....alot of Product Buying)

If I set a Time Table on my Results, I'd be totally frustrated and feel like giving up (and sometimes I do) because instead of BC'ing, I decided, to Grow, Trim, Grow, Trim and I often wondered, if I woulda' been further along, if I woulda' started over from scratch?

But I continue to Persevere. And just have fun with it, with no Set timetable for when I get there.

Yes, please post your Regimen. And Stay Encouraged.

 

[southernchocolate]

Along with posting your regi, how's your diet? Sometimes we forget that a healthy body along with proper hair care equals healthy hair.

 

[peachfuzzz]

I had to learn to be content with what I have AND to wait patiently. While I'm waiting, I educate myself and learn my hair. Everyone's hair grows at different rates and some of us have a harder time retaining length than others. I think figuring out your texture, density and porosity will also help you. Perseverance is the key!!

 

[Dee Raven]

The other thing in addition to regimen that I always like to mention is your method for documentation. Good photos are such a help because when you feel discouraged you can look back and compare. Hair grows so slowly it's hard to notice a change most of the time.

 

[halee_J]

No don't give up . Think of this time as a learning process, alot of this hair journey is trial and error. I've been at this for awhile and I still hit a snag every now and again, but that does not mean that I'll suffer a setback or that I'll never reach my goal. Even though I know alot about hair i'm still learning. I like IDareT'sHair approach, think of it as a hobby, and like DeeRaven said document your progess. You'd be surprised. Share your reggie so others can chime in and we can help you get to the bottom of it. We are here to learn and share with each other. Keep ya chin up

 

[SEMO]

Happy Easter to you as well. I hope you have a good time at the celebration.

But don't give up on your hair. I know you're discouraged but you don't want to move backwards in your hair care practices. Maybe you should go on a hiatus from buying new hair products and just focus on tweaking the ones you have in your current regimen.

Also, are you relaxed, natural, texlaxed, or transitioning?

 

[2inspireU]

Are you natural, relaxed, texlaxed, or transitioning?

I would like to know your regimen also, but I think your technique might be more at fault. How are you handling your hair? Are you combing everyday? Are you rough with detangling? Do you not detangle at all? Are you using heat a lot? If so, indirect or direct heat? Do you do wash n gos? Do you use gel?

Don't give up and don't compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own journey, and you have to learn to be happy with what you have.

 

[motherpopcorn562]

Maybe you should see a Dr.
check for anemia
or your nutrition & supplements

 

[femmemuscle]

i agree with a lot of ladies on this forum - and others. Someone just posted at BHM -the very same thing that you're going through. If you look around, you will find that many folks have taken the same journey as yourself. You are sooo not alone.

And yes, the first thing many of us do, is jump on bandwagons trying out different products hoping that we could find that ONE solution in a bottle.

I lost all of my shoulder length hair to stress, chemicals, more stress, more chemicals, and the "stretching bandwagon"..Like i said in one forum, "I wound up stretching what was left of my hair, clean off my damn head."

Not only do we become impatient when we don't see the results desired - but, our SO's, family members, friends, etc., as well.

Don't give up, my dear. This is a journey, not a destination. You will find what works for you along the way, don't worry. The only tools you will truly need is preserverance and patience.

Now go on with your journey. Don't worry about what others say. They mean well, and want results - just like you. There is an old arabian proverb: "The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on..." Take this with you on your journey - and you'll be just fine.

copies of this speech can be obtained at the
conan girl foundation..p.o. box 03194

 

[Bnster]

Your hair will grow because you will have determination, patience and love for yourself and what God has given you. You are reaching out, so that tells me you haven't given up yet and you will not because you have LHCF behind you.

This is just one of the down moments that will past. Wait patiently and you will see the fruitation of your labour! Believe that it will come and it shall!

 

[lovenharmony]

Please share your regimine with us so we can help you on your hair journey. I went about 1 1/2 years taking birth control not knowing that the BC was what was stopping my hair from growing at a faster rate. Once I stopped using it, my hair took off! I know that it took me over 3 years to get to understand my hair's likes and dislikes, and I'm still learning. Everyone has those moments where they want to give up cause you don't see any progress...just recently I wanted to cut all my hair off and start over! Just try to have fun with your hair and the length will come.

 

[Minty]

I believe all of us have felt that way - some more than others, and even if we don't voice it alot, it is evident in the way we try to support others, and ask LOTS of questions on this forum.

You should ask lots of questions, and be specific.

For example, some products do not work well together, and you may not know this up front, but over time you will notice your hair acting weird. If you post this, the products, and the results you are getting, more than likely - one member will know exactly the reaction you are experiencing and what you can do about it.

Your SO's comments are only a reflection of your thoughts and feelings. I say to myself when I'm not seeing progress - "you are doing too much." Then I leave my hair alone. Even if I am dying to try some new item I just bought, I'll leave it for a week or two, and completely ignore my hair except for moisturizing my ends and putting it back up in a bun.

 

[Carrie A]

Plus you have to look at other types of progress. You edges filling in is major. Also I'm sure your hair is much thicker overall. Progress is not just measured in length alone. I wish we had more folks share their hair health progress not just length because overall hair health is really what we are aiming for.