I'm Scared to!!!!!!

sexylonglegs

sexylonglegs

New Member
Hello everyone,

I'm so happy to see everyone is doing well and ladies your hair is fly.. Damnn I just love this board..

First let me say this is not to offend anyone and that it is my own personal opinion and I wanted to hear yours..

I am in my sixth month of transitioning and boy oh boy have I had some breakage and shedding:ohwell:.I promised you guys some pictures and I must do better in that dept.. I will post some soon. I have totally become a product junkie trying to make my hair more mangeable:nono: but on the flip side
I'M SCARED TO RELAX. I started relaxing at 11-12 years old and when I think about how my hair would never grow now I understand. Since joining LHCF I am much more knowledgeable about how to take proper care of relaxed and natural hair but after researching so many harsh chemicals in relaxers and LYE ,I AM SCARED TO RELAX.

Please share your thoughts on this and what were your reasons for going natural or staying relaxed but please be mindful of people's feelings. We all have our choice and from what I see we LOVE our hair on LHCF and want it to be in the best condition as possible:yep:

Love Ya..
 
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Well all I can think to say is if your scared to Relax then dont

I went natural many years ago because my hair couldnt take a relaxer/without damage/breakage

but remember there are many ladies here with very healthy beautiful relaxed hair
 
Hey! When I went natural initially I didn't really have the board to help me or support me to see it through. I'm surprised I never got frustrated and just gave in. I think what helped me stay natural is that no matter what I just couldn't see myself putting my hair at risk again. I had a goal in mind as far as what state I wanted my hair to be in and I just knew that no matter what I couldn't and wouldn't do it relaxed; and even though I've discovered all these beautiful healthy relaxed heads I still feel the same.

I say do even more research and no matter what choice you make just know that it was the best choice for you at the time. Don't regret anything just take it as a lesson learned and move on from it. It always gets tough during a transition and I totally understand when people get to that point where they just want to relax because it's what they know. BUT if natural hair is what you truly want then thug it out! I'm only at APL and I thank goodness I hung in there when it got rough.
 
maybe you can just cowash a few days a week, following with an oil to seal or a light moisturizer. have you tried bunning up during the winter? giving your hair a rest with a wig? if natural is truly what you'd like to be i say dont give up. i've learned to only manipulate my hair twice a week. trust me it works wonders.
 
Don't be scared. I

say don't relax until you are 100% comfortable with the thought of it :yep:.

There is absolutely no rush...take your time in making your decision. Do more

research luv :yep: Do you feel pressure to relax because of your NG? or Are

you still suffering damage. I think you should try to get your hair as healthy

as

possible in its natural state since you are transitioning...I'm sure these

lovely

ladies have better advice but this is just my opinion

:grin:​
 
Hello Rapunzel,

I'm currently wearing a lace front as a protective style however I don't cowash yet so maybe I should try that.

I don't blow dry or flat iron anymore. I wash, deep condition every week and do a mild protein bi-weekly and moisturize and seal and wear my protective style. The blow drying and flat ironing helped with the damage and rough combing was causing breakage.. I am really trying hard and I decided not to do the BC so you can imagine what I am going through.
 
Do you feel pressure to relax because of your NG? Yes, my new growth is definitely a challenge. I thought I had it figured out when I was blow drying and flat ironing after I wash and deep condition to make it more manageable but my hair was continually breaking.

But I have resorted to not blow dry or flat iron anymore for a while and handle my ends very very gently and just finger comb my new growth and wear protective style. I am going to try this out before relaxing to see if my hair will show more health. (I read somewhere that around the 6th month of transitioning that it gets extra hard) lol
 
sexylonglegs said:
Do you feel pressure to relax because of your NG? Yes, my new growth is definitely a challenge. I thought I had it figured out when I was blow drying and flat ironing after I wash and deep condition to make it more manageable but my hair was continually breaking.

But I have resorted to not blow dry or flat iron anymore for a while and handle my ends very very gently and just finger comb my new growth and wear protective style. I am going to try this out before relaxing to see if my hair will show more health. (I read somewhere that around the 6th month of transitioning that it gets extra hard) lol
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oh I wasnt getting the 'I'm scared to relax' thing

when you don't have to

If your running into issues with transitioning, there is a transitioning support thread around here.

I transitioned with braids and buns. It's important to use conditioner/oils when detangling your new growth.

but again I say if you're really scared to relax then just don't, you don't have to, find a transitioning style that will work for you, such as braid/twist outs etc. keep finding what will work for your hair

you can do it:yep:
 
I can honestly say I understand. My last relaxer was November 2005 and ever since then, I too am scared to relax.

I had extremely short, brittle, damaged hair and I felt I was doing my best to take care of it. I'd use the mildest relaxers because I have very fine hair, but the relaxer would last for months because my hair was so fine. I spoke to a hair specialist and she told me that the chemicals in relaxers were too strong for my hair, even if I was only relaxing new growth. I could show pics of what my hair used to look like, a mess, but that's in the past and I've posted them before.

Seriously, since joining LHCF I have the knowledge to take care of relaxed hair but perhaps on someone else, and not me. Someone with thicker, stronger hair; mine just is not I dont think. I honestly think only ONE of my four sisters has hair strong enough to handle a relaxer. I know this sounds hard to believe, but it's true so I understand. I'm more scared of the specific chemicals than the straightening results of the relaxer.

Still, I can straighten my hair without problems and pretty much silky bone straight almost so I realized there's no real point in me using them. Good luck on whatever you decide to do to your hair.
 
I stopped relaxing out of anger and frustration. No matter what i did, i was not retaining length - so i was like 'screw that, then im doing NOTHING' - call it a case of KISS, or maybe i was just lucky cuz i was NEVER gentle with the brush - lol - but somehow it worked.

It was just a really long stretch that never ended. i wore my hair up everyday with tons of gel and kept pushing the relaxer date - i'll relax at 6 month, no i'll relax once a year - and then by the time i made a year i was like 'why relax at all, what a waste?'

something that also kept me away is that between that 6 months to a year period i started having HAIR NIGHTMARES - they all had to do with a relaxer going wrong and my hair falling out or smthg - so i guess i was scared straight (or should i say scared curly lol).

I did miss how relaxers would get rid of frizz and how my hair would last a week after getting done and be 'presentable', and thats why i have been doing the BKT. I currently do that twice a year but i think i might give it up all together when this last one wears off - havent really decided b/c it does make my hair sooooooo easy to care for...
 
I'm so glad I am not alone in this...

Deep inside I know I am never going to relax again...but when I have to struggle with my new growth I get weak but I hope my fear of relaxers keep me on track.

Thanks so much
 
I decided to go natural because I don't like how relaxers look on my hair. I like my natural hair, always did, but I didn't know how to transition until 2007 when I searched the forums.
 
Hang in there OP YOU can definitely continue to transition successfully your way to natural hair. In the middle of my relaxer stretch I just decided to do the big chop. I know many women have achieved the goal your trying to attain. Best Wishes:)
 
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