I'm not happy with my hair and I feel like I never will be

[leona2025]

Ok so I've been trying to find my one line of products. I have been using the Redken Smooth Down and I loved it. It left my hair soft and sleek and straight, which was what I wanted, but I still am not satisfied. I feel like it looks extra thin. I'm just generally not happy with my hair. I'm getting totally sick of it. I don't want to wash it and I don't want to condition it because I feel like I'll just be disappointed in the end. I don't even know what my goal is for my hair anymore. I feel like it's pretty much healthy. I'm not having any major shedding or breakage. It just looks like it's homeless to me. I want soft bouncy hair that is well moisturized, but I can't even tell if my moisturizer is working. I mean what does moisturized hair feel like? I was really loving Elasta Qp Recovery Moisturizer, but before that I was really loving ORS oil moisturizer and I can't say I see a difference between the two. Then my relaxer are not taking. I have been using the same relaxer for 3 years and suddenly the last 3 times I did it my roots are nowhere near straight. I'm thinking of going to the salon. Maybe all I need is a new hairstyle. Maybe the next time you guys see me I'll be bald because I was so sick of my hair that I shaved it all off.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I think you need to take a breath.

Why don't you try new styles with your hair? How about a roller set? Or trying a new deep conditioner that smells like your favorite fruit.

I would try not to worry too much about your hair. It's ok to wash it once a week. Just focus on other things.

 

[*closer*2*my*dreams*]

AWWWWWW!!!! Don't be like that to your hair! Sometimes, you do have to switch things up as far as styles, but chopping it off may not be the answer doll!!

In regards to your relaxers no longer taking, could it be that your hair is healthier, more resilient, than ever before, so regular no-lye relaxers have to work harder at processing through those healthy roots? That could be why, so i would take it as a good thing!

The products are working for your hair, but what about the styles? Are you just doing protective styles? Have you tried roller sets/roller wraps or more volumizing styles? I suggest trying something with curls and "oomph" to get your hai looking lovely.

You have wonderufl length and your hair seems very healthy, don't sacrifice it and regret cutting it later.

Also, as far as moisturizer, i was in the same funk as you, i did not have a moisturizer that was worth a penny with a hole in it. The i discovered glycerin! I now have a mix of water, glycerin, silk amino acids, and honeyquat that i use when i'm wearing my hair in a puff. And i also have a shea butter mix that i concoted with honeyquat, silk amino acids, and glycerin. i swear, i will never go back to anything else!

 

[locabouthair]

I understand how you feel but your hair is pretty.

As far as your relaxer not taking, maybe you need to clarify or chelate a week prior to your touch up, to get rid of buildup. Or maybe you are not smoothing enough.

I am trying to find a good moisturizer too so I feel your pain.

Have you tried braidouts or flexi rods, maybe you need a new style.

 

[vkb247]

It sounds to me like you might have build up. If I was you I would clarify, probably using V05 Lime Clarifying Conditioner or a regular conditioner with baking soda (because my hair hates shampoo, loves moisture, and I would rather play it safe because I am not sure this will fix the problem) then I would dc with a 'cone free conditioner maybe mixed with honey and/or your favorite oils. Then I would put my hair in a protective style of some sort (braids, phony pony, etc.) just so that I wouldn't have to mess with it until I had caught another wind.

I often go throught periods where I don't feel like dealing with my hair and LHCF has taught me to do things like this so I don't regret the bad decisions I have a tendency to make when I am feeling down.

 

[hardymem]

Hi,
I'm new and haven't posted alot but been watching for a while, I understand totally how you feel, but a lot of times (per my husband) I think we as women form negative images about ourselves in our head. I can totally say that judging by your picture, you have beautiful hair, it does not appear thin to me and probably not most others, and has lots of sheen and shine. Please try not to let negative thoughts get in the way of your long term goals. I don't know you but I can tell you are doing great by your hair. Try to focus on something else for a little while, but keep your hair goals in focus. It will come back, I promise, I am where you are right now.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Leona, I've read some good advice here for you. Don't be so hard on yourself, your hair looks good to me, don't compare your hair to anyone else's hair,,,moisturized hair feels soft and you'll see smooth, soft ends. Continue your routine.

 

[TG2000]

Awwww! I agree with the ladies here. Maybe you should clarify and find a new funky style! Try wigs or extensions. My mom shaved off all her hair last week because she was frustrated with her hair! Her scalp was almost 2 shades lighter than her complexion!

I was so sick of my hair the other week, I went to my stylist and asked her to do a "fake out" Bob haircut. I got a partial head of weave with all my hair in the back braided with weave sewn-in. She then proceeded to cut the hair in the back just like this pic of Rihanna's do (1st pic). The front/sides of my hair is shoulder length with layers. She did not cut any of my hair in the front or sides. Everyone at work thought I got my hair cut. I loved it. I felt like a new woman. I also bought a wig that looks like the shorter Rihanna do from the local BSS (2cd pic)

 

[leona2025]

Hi My sisters, thank you all so much for the encouragement and advice every so often I just feel like me hair is like yuck. You all have been very uplifting. I'm thinking of starting to use Dominican products, but I don't know a thing about them. I never thought that my relaxer could not be taking because of the fact that it's healthier now, but I love that idea. When I was younger my hair was so thick and my mom would always use Super relaxers, but I'm not going there. I think most of this may just be a little boredom. I wear my hair in the same boring ponytail everyday. When I 1st got started I was rollersetting 2times a week. I tried the flexi rods a few weeks ago and loved it. Thanks for reminding me. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that feels like this from time to time. I might try the braids. I have a great braids person, but I got a big head and I can't stand to sit down for so many hours. A sew in or quick weave sounds like a great way to switch it up. I actually went to a salon and seen several done. It was lovely. I won't do anything drastic. Thanks again.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Please don't until you've experimented. Due to my hair breaking and me not taking care of it, my hair has been thinning. I'm working on it now so maybe I will get a small cut and take it from there. I'm wearing rollersets right now and hoit treatment/deep conditioning on a weekly basis.

 

[Irresistible]

yeah let this pass and dont do anything rash

sometimes we take life out on our hair and hormones can have us feeling all kinda of ways and being on the boards adds a subtle pressure to 'feel' a certain way about your hair or have it looking on hit all the time or at least to try new things like errybody else.

just hold on for the ride, let this burn and it will pass

like so many suggested do something different with your hair, or just put it up and get it off your mind for a lil while , then revisit this when your not overly frustrated

 

[Highly Favored8]

(((((HUGS)))))) to you!

Your Hair looks so HOT!

 

[Qetesh]

like many of the other posters i suggest wigs or weave first...at times a change of style is all you really need to feel good and appreciate what you have underneath is.

if you still feel bad about your hair go to a stylist... i personally think stylists damage your hair in the end but if you go to a decent one you will come out with good looking hair (and probably a cut) but this is a better option then going bald.