I'm never gonna make it! (vent/rant)

[Determined22]

I feel like I wanna give up on my length goal, cause I don't think I'll ever get there.

After 9 months, 5 months of being really serious about growth and haircare, I've retained maybe an inch. I did cut off a couple inches of dead ends, but everyday I look at my hair, especially the shedded hair, and I just think I'm never gonna get there.

My hair FEELS healthier but I'm getting no freaking length!

 

[Lady Esquire]

What is your regimen?

 

[SunnyDelight]

((((HUGS))))

Think of it as 5 months to healthy hair and the next few month for growth. It will happen. Health is the best gift we can give our hair.

 

[Energee]

No, No, No! Don't ever give up! First, be happy that you are seeing good results. You said that you can see that your hair is healthier. Perhaps your hair was in pretty bad shape when you started and needed to get healthier first. Perhaps you made length your first goal when actually the health should have been your first goal. If you hair is healthy you will see growth. Also, shedding is not bad and it's actually normal. If you see a little white bulb at the end of your hair..that's shedding. People shed up to 100 hair per day normally. Now, if your hair is breaking---some people confuse breaking and shedding---that's different problem. Again, some breakage is normal no matter how careful you are but you don't want excessive breakage. If you are experiencing a lot of breakage you may need to check your routine to see what you may be lacking or in fact may be using too much of (too much protein can cause breakage for some for example) or maybe you need to up your moisture?
I think keeping a journal---actual written one will help tremendously. It has helped me. I document every detail about my hair--mainly on wash day or any day that I notice changes. I note the products I used, methods I used and how my hair reacted that day. It can help you track what products work and which do not and also give you an idea of what your hair likes or doesn't like (maybe it like protein..maybe not..for example).

Also take pictures...that helps tremendously also. Not everyone is going to have the same growth rate either. Some are slower than other naturally.
If you give up now you will really NEVER reach your goals more than likely. Stick with your healthy habits and you will get there. Trust me, I've been where you are. I was at above ear length for nearly two decades (my choice..I loved the Halle cut..lol). My hair grew but was breaking off terribly because of my terrible hair habits. I made changes and I've seen great results so far. HTH and I KNOW that there are many other women here who will tell you the same and will be even more inspiring than me.

 

[thegirltolove]

Awwwww, don't be like that. You know what? When I first looked at this post, and I saw your name, I thought "That can't be right... She can't be determined saying that she can't do it!"

Since you are at a point where you are frustrated (don't ask me how I figured that one out...lol), Maybe you should do something to keep your hands out of it for a while. Something that won't have you focused on your progress every time you look in the mirror. One problem that I had initially is that I was always looking at my hair. Like I wanted to see progress NOW!!!! As a matter of fact, I'm still kinda like that , but then I realized that I was doing too many things to my hair. I ended up manipulating it so much that I was breaking off the hair that I was trying to retain. I was switching up things all the time trying to jump on board with what everyone was doing.

I say, try a method and stick with it for a while (maybe a couple of months) and minimize your manipulation. If you find that method is not working for you, shift to something else. Eventually you will find something that works. The fact that your hair is healthier should be a pat on the back to you. Don't get discouraged. Stay determined lady!!!

 

[Energee]

Awwwww, don't be like that. You know what? When I first looked at this post, and I saw your name, I thought "That can't be right... She can't be determined saying that she can't do it!"

Since you are at a point where you are frustrated (don't ask me how I figured that one out...lol), Maybe you should do something to keep your hands out of it for a while. Something that won't have you focused on your progress every time you look in the mirror. One problem that I had initially is that I was always looking at my hair. Like I wanted to see progress NOW!!!! As a matter of fact, I'm still kinda like that , but then I realized that I was doing too many things to my hair. I ended up manipulating it so much that I was breaking off the hair that I was trying to retain. I was switching up things all the time trying to jump on board with what everyone was doing.

I say, try a method and stick with it for a while (maybe a couple of months) and minimize your manipulation. If you find that method is not working for you, shift to something else. Eventually you will find something that works. The fact that your hair is healthier should be a pat on the back to you. Don't get discouraged. Stay determined lady!!!

I so agree! Yes, I used a sew in to grow my hair out initially because I knew that I'd get scissor happy and discouraged if I were looking at my hair daily before it reached my desired length (inital goal of shoulder length). I had tried to grow my hair out many times before and it would grow nicely but once it got to neck length I was itching to cut it again because I couldn't do anything with it at that awkward length. Sometimes I'd cut it due to heat damage. I would just snip and snip. I was a stylists dream because I'd always let them but my hair and never complained...lol. The sew in was wonderful for me and my hair. My hair rested for the first time in a long time and it thrived on it's own. So maybe you can do this or find another style that works for you until you reach a good length where you will easily tell you've had results.

 

[TLC1020]

Don't give up... Maybe your hair is in its resting stage.. I was like that, for a while when I didn't see any length!! My hair became healthy again after using a strong relaxer and not using the right products, then I begin to see length. So I said that to say just keep at it, when you least expect to see length, that's when you'll see it..... Happy Hair Growing

 

[dillard]

I feel like I wanna give up on my length goal, cause I don't think I'll ever get there.

After 9 months, 5 months of being really serious about growth and haircare, I've retained maybe an inch. I did cut off a couple inches of dead ends, but everyday I look at my hair, especially the shedded hair, and I just think I'm never gonna get there.

My hair FEELS healthier but I'm getting no freaking length!

don't do that! how does it go...a watched pot never boils? maybe yoou should do a hide your hair challenge or braids or no manipulation challenge so you aren't bothering with it everyday.

Since you cut it a few times, that's why you don't see all that you retained. Have you done any comparison shots? Does it also LOOK healthier? Looking and feeling healthy is number one. Since you've got that, you're halfway there, the the length will come!

 

[thegirltolove]

don't do that! how does it go...a watched pot never boils? maybe yoou should do a hide your hair challenge or braids or no manipulation challenge so you aren't bothering with it everyday.

Since you cut it a few times, that's why you don't see all that you retained. Have you done any comparison shots? Does it also LOOK healthier? Looking and feeling healthy is number one. Since you've got that, you're halfway there, the the length will come!

My sentiments exactly!!!

 

[MsKipani]

Stick to your name and remain determined! Maybe you need to change something up in your routine? All good things come in time...you'll make it just stay focused!

 

[sareca]

I had to grow an entirely new head of hair and trim away the damaged hair before I saw meaningful progress. It took about a year.

 

[Determined22]

Thank you ladies!

You guys are right, I do spend a lot of time looking at my hair, worrying about it, messing with it, stressing over it, etc. I need to stop!

I actually wanted to get braids, but the impression that I got from reading some posts was that it could do more harm than good. Plus the last time inquired about braids this chick wanted to charge me almost $300 just for the braiding, not including hair!

But braids would be a nice change and would let me not worry about my hair as much....maybe I'll look into it again. Question: should I have some new growth when I get them? Right now I'm 11 weeks post and just itching to get a relaxer cause I can't take my new growth anymore.

 

[Lady Esquire]

Thank you ladies!

You guys are right, I do spend a lot of time looking at my hair, worrying about it, messing with it, stressing over it, etc. I need to stop!

Right now I'm 11 weeks post and just itching to get a relaxer cause I can't take my new growth anymore.

A watched pot never boils...so sit back and let it do its thang. Also, 11 weeks post? That's great! You're bound to see progress when you relax with all of that NG!

 

[Neroli]

Thank you ladies!

You guys are right, I do spend a lot of time looking at my hair, worrying about it, messing with it, stressing over it, etc. I need to stop!

I actually wanted to get braids, but the impression that I got from reading some posts was that it could do more harm than good. Plus the last time inquired about braids this chick wanted to charge me almost $300 just for the braiding, not including hair!

But braids would be a nice change and would let me not worry about my hair as much....maybe I'll look into it again. Question: should I have some new growth when I get them? Right now I'm 11 weeks post and just itching to get a relaxer cause I can't take my new growth anymore.

IMO, now would be the best time to get braids, if you're gonna do it -- will save you from another relaxer AND from dealing with the new growth. I suggest you do a good wash and condition and then get the braids and give yourself (and your hair) a bit of rest.

OH, co-signing on what everyone else has said, don't give up! Just hang in there and you'll see progress if you keep pressing on. It took me a year to undo decades of damage before I saw meaninful growth. And the first step to growth is health. Once you get your hair healthy, then start working on retaining length.

 

[growth2come]

Hey there, dont give up....good things are meant fighting for(in this case the hair) anyway....for a little inspiration you can always turn into a fotki stalker....it does help seeing what journey and long road others have had to go through and where they are now considering where they started. And if you keep up the fight it will be your fotki album journey inspiring someone like you not to give up the fight. Chin up!

 

[thegirltolove]

IMO, now would be the best time to get braids, if you're gonna do it -- will save you from another relaxer AND from dealing with the new growth. I suggest you do a good wash and condition and then get the braids and give yourself (and your hair) a bit of rest.

OH, co-signing on what everyone else has said, don't give up! Just hang in there and you'll see progress if you keep pressing on. It took me a year to undo decades of damage before I saw meaninful growth. And the first step to growth is health. Once you get your hair healthy, then start working on retaining length.

COMPLETELY AGREE!!

 

[Leslie_C]

Thank you ladies!

You guys are right, I do spend a lot of time looking at my hair, worrying about it, messing with it, stressing over it, etc. I need to stop!

I actually wanted to get braids, but the impression that I got from reading some posts was that it could do more harm than good. Plus the last time inquired about braids this chick wanted to charge me almost $300 just for the braiding, not including hair!

But braids would be a nice change and would let me not worry about my hair as much....maybe I'll look into it again. Question: should I have some new growth when I get them? Right now I'm 11 weeks post and just itching to get a relaxer cause I can't take my new growth anymore.

Determined,
I know a lady who does braids in Orlando. She only charges $80 and she is really fast (only took 4 or 5 hours for pretty small braids, not quite micros but they were really cute). Let me know if you want her number.

 

[Determined22]

Determined,
I know a lady who does braids in Orlando. She only charges $80 and she is really fast (only took 4 or 5 hours for pretty small braids, not quite micros but they were really cute). Let me know if you want her number.

I do, I do! I'm sending you a pm right now!

 

[caligirl2385]

DON'T GIVE UP. YOU WILL SEE RESULTS IF YOU DON'T QUIT. STOP TRIMMING TOO.