I'm Natural - but I think I may relax!

[lana]

Hey guys I want your opinion. A lot of you know me from my posts or responses to your posts (smiles).

I'm a 4a natural with collarbone length hair (layers through out) and I'm just fed up with my hair lately. I am seriously thinking about relaxing!!! I am just tired of all the straightening, I love my maxiglide and it really does get my hair straight....but just about every morning I'm bumping my hair with my sedu trying to "fix it" for work.

I never wear braids, I never wear weave, I enjoy my hair the most when I wear it straightened - shaky with curls.

The downside to getting a relaxer? I stopped relaxing because my scalp couldn't handle chemicals. I had scabs (from professional stylists - I tried several stylists). I had breakage (had never even heard of a protein treatment). It seemed like my hair wouldn't grow (it was breaking as fast as it was growing). It was dry and brittle.

Anyways the point is that I was relaxing each month, now if I get a relaxer I just want it straightend about 60% more than I have it (texturized) and I would get one about twice a year. January and June.

What should I do?

 

[Candiss]

I can't tell you whether or not to relax. But I will say that if you do relax, please do a strand test first. That way you will know if you are going to be having the same problems you had before. Also research this board for all the different types of relaxers. They are all so different and advanced today so do the research and make sure that you choose the right one. The ORS Relaxer gets rave reviews and it is a no-lye relaxer. The Vitale also gets rave reviews and it is a lye. I am relaxing in the next week ( I think) and I am going with the ORS no-lye because of all the good things I have heard. I already performed the strand test today because I don't want to end up with no hair when I know that I should check it beforehand. So please do a strand test.

 

[navsegda]

The downside to getting a relaxer? I stopped relaxing because my scalp couldn't handle chemicals. I had scabs (from professional stylists - I tried several stylists). I had breakage (had never even heard of a protein treatment). It seemed like my hair wouldn't grow (it was breaking as fast as it was growing). It was dry and brittle.

Well, I'm not going to tell you to relax again if your scalp couldn't handle chemicals. I could tell you, "Oh you just didn't choose the right relaxer, try X so you won't get chemical burns" but I would be talking out of my ass. The sooner we learn that what works for our own hair may not necessarily work for someone's else's NO MATTER WHAT THE PRODUCT, the better off we will all be. It is true that your hair may respond better to the relaxer if you take care of it now but all the moisture and protein balance in the world isn't going to help your scalp. I know of some people that have tried all sorts of pre-treatment scalp protectants and those never worked. Now, if you choose to relax again and you find something that doesn't irritate your scalp, then more power to you. However, think of the effects the chemicals would have on your scalp first and foremost. Your hair may thrive after getting this relaxer, but the last thing you want is a damaged scalp.

 

[imstush]

Like everyone else I can't tell you whether or not either...but I will tell you this is about my 5th Transition because I go through the same phase.

 

[sareca]

I love my texturized hair. A strand test was very important in helping gauge long to leave the relaxer on.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

It is your decision. We will support you, no matter what u choose. I have relaxed/BCD 6 times. I finally came to the realization that I have to let my hair decide what's best. I'd given up on being able to relax, before I found info on the site that helped me. I also don't stylists relax me anymore because they did more harm than good for my hair. I am not telling u what to do, but the answer may be found on this board. I found answers, maybe you can too. I hope you find the answers you seek.

 

[pureenergy77]

Just want to share my experience since I pretty much had the same issues last year (Sept.). I was flat ironing my natural hair often and ended up with massive breakage due to all the heat. My hair broke off down to the roots in some sections and I'm still trying to nurse it back to health. I got a no-lye sensitive scalp relaxer at a salon and did not have any scalp burns (she did base my scalp though). It was the mildest relaxer I have ever had.

My hair was terrible when I first got the relaxer. It would break off if I even touched it and I'm not exaggerating. My stylist told me that happens sometimes with virgin hair since it had been about 7 years since I had a relaxer. I did some protein treatments and it got better over time. With my second relaxer (only had 2 so far since I'm stretching 3 months), my hair was much stronger and didn't break off as bad. I am still dealing with breakage though and about to do another Aphogee treatment now. I think this is mainly due to my hair being very fine and fragile.

I will say that I think I made the right decision. Whether I had a relaxer or not, my hair was breaking off badly. I found it's easier to take care of my ends since I have a relaxer. I baggie them most nights and have been retaining length very well (this was my major concern pre-relaxer). Anyway, I think you should just weigh the pros and cons. All of that heat is bad for your hair, but chemicals are bad too. Which one do you think your hair hates the most? For me, it was the heat, so I made the right decision to relax and leave all heat alone. Hope this helps a little.

 

[Artemis]

I won't tell you whether to or not, either. But I will say that if you do decide to relax, make sure to deep condition like a crazy person and get your hair (and scalp!) in tip-top shape prior to relaxing to counteract any heat damage you may have incurred.

I've gone natural 2x; once I transitioned, the other I BC'd (after which I was natural for 4 yrs.)...I relaxed this time because I wanted a change and I knew that I could focus on my hair and take care of it myself. It's important to realize that relaxing won't necessarily "solve all of your problems" and "make life easier". Relaxed hair has it's own drama, too, which I'm learning...And depending on the amount of effort you put into caring for it, can sometimes be more trouble than you expected...

I consider myself my own "self-taught" hair professional because I know (or am willing to try & learn) how to do every sort of hair practice under the sun, except for cutting/trimming. I learned it b/c I practiced on my hair, and was willing to take a chance on my own skills, since I knew it couldn't hurt (I've been practically maimed by hair stylists...). And I know I will go natural again at some point just b/c I can, so no worries...

Whatever you decide, this board and these women will be here for you

(Edited for typos)

 

[ajargon02]

Well this is really only a choice that you can make for your self. my personal opinion is that it's your hair. Natural hair isn't for everyone, and it sounds like maybe you just werent' ready for that leap, AND THAT'S OK it does (from your description) sound like w/ perms you might have a chemical allergy (scabs) and i know that I myself had that issue. Mind you I only had perms like 4-5 times max in my whole life. I would get scabs, eventurally my hair started to fall out. That was the last time that I got a perm. I still have areas of dmg and that was from 8 almost 9 years ago. If you knwo that your scalp doesnt like perm (lye or no lye) by perming anyway you know that you are running a really huge risk. No matter what you do, good luck to you, and do what YOU feel is best for you If that's texturizing or perming, or staying natural so be it. You know that we will be here for ya

 

[seraphinelle]

Nurse your hair to the upmost, because if you straighten your hair all the time, there will be heat damage.

Good luck!

 

[missnappylady]

I don't have any advice but, I would like to wish you good luck on what ever decision you make!!

 

[naturallylovely]

i thought about relaxing so that i can have a wrap that wont revert...but i like wearing my hair curly....plus, its unhealthy to relax bone straight, so i would still have a wrap that reverted when i got hot!!!! so there's no point for me...

 

[Sweetyb]

I had the same problem 1 1/2 yrs ago with straightening my hair... I have since had to grow out my hair dried out by my Maxiglide... although my straightened hair was very fun to wear and style. Got a lot of nice pics and all, but you have to remember that naturally curly hair trives best when it's left curly. It's always best to stick to curly styles. If you want straight hair, it won't hurt to pick up a straight half wig that you can wear w/a head band if you're not ready to get a weave yet. It may take a while, but you'll get used to wearing it and you'll love how your healthy natural hair begins to grow back in.

Please believe when I say healthy natural hair is sooo much better to take care of than heat damaged natural hair!

There's also plenty of great advice from those who went from natural to relaxed... it may also help to seek out those w/your hair type and learn what your relaxed hair regimen may look like. Whatever decision you make, just know that you have options you can take before making a big change.

 

[kimbaparis]

i think most people have had good luck with phtyorelaxer not burning. i always try to go natural but my hair is unmanageable for me when it is natural unless i just leave it really short. it mats very easily and i have to braid or twist it every night to prevent that which is just too much for me. i think if you know how to take care of your hair (i.e., condition and moisturize), a texturizing mild non-lye relaxer can give the best of both worlds. still curly or kinky in my case, but also more manageable. i haven't tried ors relaxer but i would like to do so.

 

[Amarech]

Well, I'm biased. I used to be natural and now I relax. You sound a lot like me right before I decided to relax. I would say the first and biggest question to ask yourself is how do you like your hair 90% of the time. If you prefer it being straght like I do, then you probably want to relax. All the drama of trying to keep natural hair in an unatural state is just as bad as having a relaxer, IMO. For me I was using heat every day to maintain. I was like, "I might as well perm!"
You must be brutally honest with yourself on this one, chica.

Also, if you decide to relax, I'd go to a reputable stylist since you said you've had problems with chemicals in the past. A serious stylist, a good one, wont just take your money. He/she will ask you questions and (almost like a doctor) give you the best course of action to take.

That's what I did. Before I was natural, I bought box perms from any store. AFter I went to my stylist ( and she was GOOD even thought I only went to her 4 times) I used everything she used, with good results.

Be honest with yourself, make a decision and remember, whatever you decide, your LHCF sistas got yo back!

 

[lana]

Hey you guys I wanted to read every post before responding. You all are so sweet and helpful! I'm serious, I was overwhelmed by all the good advice. I'm glad to hear that other people have been in my same situation. Well to be brutally honest, my hair is healthy and in the best shape it's ever been in. I use heat to keep it straight and my hair is growing, not breaking. My hair likes heat over chemicals but would prefer to be left completely alone (I did that for six months and it grew four inches (smiles)).

I like my look the best when I have my hair straightened with the ends curled (and shaky). Chemicals burn my scalp. I tried lye, no-lye, mild, sensitive over the course of 12 years and my scalp got worse and worse. It took all these years being natural to stop having scabs from the burning it the back behind my ears. Now that part of my hair is longer than it's ever been in my life. (wow)

So to be brutally honest with myself I need to stay natural. I can't risk chemicals if I want healthy hair. I also need to limit my heat usage.

I'm going to consider something that I haven't done before in many years....braids. It's a good way to rest my hair, use no heat, grow it out, and stay natural. Especially since I'm frustrated with straightening it every week.

I would appreciate any other responses. Thanks for listening and replying!

Also I have to say I wish there was a really really strong conditioner that would just loosen my hair texture. It's just soooo curly that if I don't handle it properly - straightening it out can be damaging.

There is hope on the horizon. I just figured out how to wash my hair in a ponytail so that it doesn't completely revert. So there is hope!

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Glad to see you decided to stay natural for the sake of your scalp.

Hey you guys I wanted to read every post before responding. You all are so sweet and helpful! I'm serious, I was overwhelmed by all the good advice. I'm glad to hear that other people have been in my same situation. Well to be brutally honest, my hair is healthy and in the best shape it's ever been in. I use heat to keep it straight and my hair is growing, not breaking. My hair likes heat over chemicals but would prefer to be left completely alone (I did that for six months and it grew four inches (smiles)).

I like my look the best when I have my hair straightened with the ends curled (and shaky). Chemicals burn my scalp. I tried lye, no-lye, mild, sensitive over the course of 12 years and my scalp got worse and worse. It took all these years being natural to stop having scabs from the burning it the back behind my ears. Now that part of my hair is longer than it's ever been in my life. (wow)

So to be brutally honest with myself I need to stay natural. I can't risk chemicals if I want healthy hair. I also need to limit my heat usage.

I'm going to consider something that I haven't done before in many years....braids. It's a good way to rest my hair, use no heat, grow it out, and stay natural. Especially since I'm frustrated with straightening it every week.

I would appreciate any other responses. Thanks for listening and replying!

Also I have to say I wish there was a really really strong conditioner that would just loosen my hair texture. It's just soooo curly that if I don't handle it properly - straightening it out can be damaging.

There is hope on the horizon. I just figured out how to wash my hair in a ponytail so that it doesn't completely revert. So there is hope!

 

[OneInAMillion]

Hey you guys I wanted to read every post before responding. You all are so sweet and helpful! I'm serious, I was overwhelmed by all the good advice. I'm glad to hear that other people have been in my same situation. Well to be brutally honest, my hair is healthy and in the best shape it's ever been in. I use heat to keep it straight and my hair is growing, not breaking. My hair likes heat over chemicals but would prefer to be left completely alone (I did that for six months and it grew four inches (smiles)).

I like my look the best when I have my hair straightened with the ends curled (and shaky). Chemicals burn my scalp. I tried lye, no-lye, mild, sensitive over the course of 12 years and my scalp got worse and worse. It took all these years being natural to stop having scabs from the burning it the back behind my ears. Now that part of my hair is longer than it's ever been in my life. (wow)

So to be brutally honest with myself I need to stay natural. I can't risk chemicals if I want healthy hair. I also need to limit my heat usage.

I'm going to consider something that I haven't done before in many years....braids. It's a good way to rest my hair, use no heat, grow it out, and stay natural. Especially since I'm frustrated with straightening it every week.

I would appreciate any other responses. Thanks for listening and replying!

Also I have to say I wish there was a really really strong conditioner that would just loosen my hair texture. It's just soooo curly that if I don't handle it properly - straightening it out can be damaging.

There is hope on the horizon. I just figured out how to wash my hair in a ponytail so that it doesn't completely revert. So there is hope!

Hi lana,

Laying off the relaxer is probably the best bet. You don't want to risk scalp burns, especially since you have a history with them. Have you tried other methods for getting your hair straight? You can try rollersetting then maxigliding, or rollersetting and blowdrying. Try looking at some of the threads where naturals mention tips for straightening.

Let us know how it works out!

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I say go for it!! My hair is the same length as your now, layers and all. I am planning to texlax in December because I prefer my hair straight and dont want to incur heat damage. (I have been on a no-heat routine for the past 10 months and I have 11 more to go) So after I reach my length goal of APL...off to texlax-land I go.

I would say use a mild natural based relaxer like Phyto or Elucence and cut it with an oil and/or a protein conditioner. I think you will be fine.