I'm Losing the Battle... I need some support

[MizaniMami]

This is just a vent thread.

I am 9 going on ten weeks post relaxer and I feel like I am failing. I was trying to stretch until October making it 16 weeks, and I was even hoping and wishing that I could stretch until December.

I don't have enough new growth to relax so that is out of the picture for me. I NEED to stretch atleast 4 more weeks.

Well the past two wash nights have been HORRIFIC. The Knots, OMG. Not tangles but knots. I am trying everything:

Adding conditioners to my deep conditioner- tonight I used CON Nourshing Conditioner+Motions Moisture Plus Conditioner+Aussie Knot Detangler. ( I can't afford my Aveda DR right now)

For My leave-in I used-A little more Aussie Knot, some Nexxus Headress, some AFRICA'S BEST Shea butter Detangling stuff, and some hot 6 oil. Still didn't cut it.

I know it sounds like I overdid it but I just thought if I use a lot of detangling products that atleast SOMETHING would happen. Since I notice when i am far post relaxer when I use more it helps.

My Hair was in KNOTS. Good thing is that my shedding is getting better. I contribute that to my vitamins.

But these knots were a killer today. I wanted to rip the comb right through my hair. I am ready to give up right now, I just need some support ladies. Thanks for letting me vent.

Sincerely,

MizaniMami the HotKnottedMess

 

[shunta]

Out of curiosity, whats the longest that you have ever stretched in the past? Because personally, I cant go any longer than 9 wks or my hair will be too unmanageable. Because it already sounds like you are using the right products. Are you still using conditioner on dry hair and then rinsing?

 

[leleepop]

I have been having the same problem. I not sure if it will work but try to clarify if you didnt already. I did a heavy duty clarify. DO NOT RIP THROUGH YOUR HAIR!!! Keep you eye on the prize and think about how much length you will gain when you finally relax. TLC hhg

 

[Ms_Twana]

Yeah, I was going to suggest clarifying too. Also, try Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. It has massive slip. For a couple of co-washes my hair was extremely brittle and impossible to detangle. I bought a $.99 travel size conditioner after I read all the rave reviews about it. Well, the minute I put it in my hair, I could almost hear my hair saying, "Yeeesss!!!" No, seriously, it felt great, the slip was amazing, and detangling was a breeze. I bought a full sized bottle after that. When I used it the second time, I didn't apply any other products afterwards, and my hair still felt amazing after I air dried. So, give it a try.

BTW, what is your hair type? I can't imagine not having enough new growth after nine weeks. I have enough new growth to relaxer after 4. Lord knows I will NEVER relax that often though. Stretching is the best thing for our hair. So you try whatever you need to in order to do what's best for your hair.

 

[secretdiamond]

adding porosity control to your dc mix. It usually works to make my hair 'slippier' to detangle. I still get massive knots from the parts of my hair that have been underprocessed. I'm actually in the middle of a 3 hr long detangle (so far). LOL!! I can't believe it's been that long. So I feel your pain.

 

[GoGoChik]

Do you think it's the Aussie Knot Detangler? That stuff had my hair in a tangled mess 2 weeks ago. I was about 11 weeks post and I lost a lot of hair trying to comb through that. I went back to my Proclaim Aloe and Shea butter and everything is okay now.

 

[caribeandiva]

*pats MizaniMami's hand* There there. it's gonna be ok..

 

[Tee]

Do you think it's the Aussie Knot Detangler? That stuff had my hair in a tangled mess 2 weeks ago. I was about 11 weeks post and I lost a lot of hair trying to comb through that. I went back to my Proclaim Aloe and Shea butter and everything is okay now.

This stuff took out all the tangles in my hair. And I had some serious tangles going on that not even my shower comb would get out.

 

[Tee]

I am 9 going on ten weeks post relaxer and I feel like I am failing. I was trying to stretch until October making it 16 weeks, and I was even hoping and wishing that I could stretch until December.

I don't have enough new growth to relax so that is out of the picture for me. I NEED to stretch atleast 4 more weeks.


MizaniMami the HotKnottedMess

lol You know you wrong for that. HotKnottedMess. The Aussie didnt help any?? I see you used a lot of stuff. Maybe it was to much products.

I know what you are going through. I honestly now think, it was the stretch. My hair NEVER ever got that tangled up before. Then it started shedding like crazy. I made it 14 weeks post. I am not sure if I will try that again.

I hope you get those bothersome knotts under control. I dreaded pulling out so much hair. I am to be a member of the HotKnotted Mess Support team.

 

[KhandiB]

Try Motions Moisture Plus After Shampoo COnditioner... Inexpensive and great slip

I dont stretch past 8 weeks because my hair becomes unmanageable like that..

 

[Cichelle]

Hmm...maybe you could clarify and get all of that stuff completely out of your hair. All that stuff together can make knots worse. Then try using a thick conditioner with citric acid in it, if possible. Patiently and gently finger comb through tangles in the shower, under the shower spray and then go for the wide tooth comb.

My hair is fond of knotting up. I found out the hard way that some products can just tangle hair worse despite their stated purposes. Too much usually spells disaster in my hair, that includes oil which I have never found to be great for getting out tangles. YMMV, of course. But try using water as your main assistant, with a good thick conditioner. I know how frustrating tangles and knots can be. Don't give up, though! You'll find a way to handle this. It might just take some experimenting.

 

[MizaniMami]

Hey ladies,
Thank you so much for replying. last night I was so frustrated I went to bed without taking my vitamins or anything. I just didn't even want to think about hair.

But last night I DID indeed clarify. I pooed with keracare 1st lather then follwed with Keracare Hydrating poo.

KhandiB, I did use the Motions. I mixed it in with another conditioner.

Letitia, girl, I was hoping that the Aussie was the answer to all of my problems. But I think I didn't use it right. I think I am going to go back to my basic products and slowly add stuff all over again.

Secret, girl as soon as I find a ride I am going to get the Roux PC! I hope that helps!

MsT I will also get those little bottles of the Hello Hydration.

I'm not gonna give up yet ladies. I will try clarifying then starting all over again. My next wash is either Wenesday night or Tuesday night I will let you ladies know how it goes.

 

[MizaniMami]

Out of curiosity, whats the longest that you have ever stretched in the past? Because personally, I cant go any longer than 9 wks or my hair will be too unmanageable. Because it already sounds like you are using the right products. Are you still using conditioner on dry hair and then rinsing?

I went 12 weeks last round. I stopped using conditioner on dry hair, because I don't have access to my Humecto in the tub, it is in storage since I am moving. But I might start that up again. Girl you reminded me how much of a saint that was to me.

 

[gradygirl]

I second the Porosity Control. Its the only thing that helps with my texlaxed hair.

 

[nutmeggurl]

Well, I'm newly relaxed after being totally naturally for a few years. One thing I learned from being natural that I plan to continute now that I'm relaxed is to wash my hair in sections. I section my hair into about 6 sections and wash each section. This is the ONLY way I could avoid some tangling. Maybe you already do that, but I just thought I'd share.

Hope it helps.

 

[senimoni]

MM I feel your pain. I detangled yesterday for a good 45 minutes. I'm just at 8 weeks, but normally I can go to 10. I'm thinking I may need to relax almost bone straight b/c the kinks and curls and texlax stuff is getting out of hand.

 

[Syrah]

Have you ever used the Crown and Glory technique when you braid your hair up before you wash? This helped me a lot with the knots and tangles.

You might also want to change your shampooing technique - less circular motions (that cause the hair to knot up) and more squeezing and up and down motions to keep the hair from tangling.

I know squeezing sounds funny - but it helps agitate the shampoo and move it around through the hair.... you'll be surprised too because it WILL lather.

 

[MizaniMami]

Have you ever used the Crown and Glory technique when you braid your hair up before you wash? This helped me a lot with the knots and tangles.

You might also want to change your shampooing technique - less circular motions (that cause the hair to knot up) and more squeezing and up and down motions to keep the hair from tangling.

I know squeezing sounds funny - but it helps agitate the shampoo and move it around through the hair.... you'll be surprised too because it WILL lather.

i think that is part of it. i do the cicular thing, especially now since i am at my moms home ( my apt won't be ready until this friday) and she doens't have a shower. she has the old fashion tub with the feet, so i am forced to wash in the sink.

i tried the braiding method and I didn't like it. I don't like braiding and unraveling braids while my hair is wet. so needless to say i avoid that method.

how do you do the squeezing method?

 

[sareca]

Have you ever used the Crown and Glory technique when you braid your hair up before you wash? This helped me a lot with the knots and tangles.

You might also want to change your shampooing technique - less circular motions (that cause the hair to knot up) and more squeezing and up and down motions to keep the hair from tangling.

I know squeezing sounds funny - but it helps agitate the shampoo and move it around through the hair.... you'll be surprised too because it WILL lather.

ITA. As my hair gets longer I've noticed it is very difficult to wash it w/o carefully detangling and loose braids to keep it that way. My braids usually start coming down with minimum manipulation and I don't go all the way to the end.

The squeezing was in Robin's video. That's how you distribute the shampoo w/o tangling.
Did you see the video demonstration? It really does help esp. w/ thick hair.

 

[MizaniMami]

ITA. As my hair gets longer I've noticed it is very difficult to wash it w/o carefully detangling and loose braids to keep it that way. My braids usually start coming down with minimum manipulation and I don't go all the way to the end.

The squeezing was in Robin's video. That's how you distribute the shampoo w/o tangling.
Did you see the video demonstration? It really does help esp. w/ thick hair.

No, I haven't seen it. How can I find this video?????

 

[Cayenne0622]

i think that is part of it. i do the cicular thing, especially now since i am at my moms home ( my apt won't be ready until this friday) and she doens't have a shower. she has the old fashion tub with the feet, so i am forced to wash in the sink.

i tried the braiding method and I didn't like it. I don't like braiding and unraveling braids while my hair is wet. so needless to say i avoid that method.

how do you do the squeezing method?

I just posted a thread without knowing that you experienced the same hell I did yesterday. You are definitely not alone and that whole sink washing thing is definitely part of the problem. I promise I will never sink wash again (during a relaxer stretch) unless there are dire circumstances. I'd rather avoid the wash than to go through that knotting again. Sounds like all of the ladies have offered you some very good advice. I don't think I'll stretch past 8 weeks anytime soon.

Good luck, mami!

 

[Candy_C]

sounds to me like you need a very good hair oil to marinate in your hair over a course of one night or two b4 u wash...

do u like Amla? i feel that this is the best oil i've ever ever tried..not sticky, not thick, just right..and works as a daily moisturizer too. if your not keen on it, try using jojoba mixed with some avocado oil...this sorta, moisturizes the knots as such so they just either slip away or unraven themselves..

give it a try, n dont give up..too me if i get knots i need a good oil treat

 

[goldensensation]

I say clarify, and try again. Dont give up!

 

[goldensensation]

Oh, if you are washing your hair in the sink, pull the hair to each side and wash and condition in halfs. I hardly get tangles this way (on the rare times when I wash in the sink).

 

[MizaniMami]

Oh, if you are washing your hair in the sink, pull the hair to each side and wash and condition in halfs. I hardly get tangles this way (on the rare times when I wash in the sink).

Will do, I'm kinda bored so i might wash again today. Plus I didn't detangle good enough.

 

[Tee]

Did you wash again tonight?? I hope you get those darn tangles out of there.

**Off Subject....I love those tubs like your mom's. My grandmom had one just like that. Such a classy classic item.

 

[MizaniMami]

Did you wash again tonight?? I hope you get those darn tangles out of there.

**Off Subject....I love those tubs like your mom's. My grandmom had one just like that. Such a classy classic item.

Girl it would be classic if the house was classic. The landlord just lazy as hell.

But nah girl I didn't wash. I think I will wait until Wednesday night which is my regular wash night.

Girl I can't wait. I'm buying the Paul M. The detangler condish. And I am using the Aussie Knot as a pre-poo, I am also taking CandyC's advice and I may sleep in some oils along with it. Pray for me yall.

 

[Tee]

Girl it would be classic if the house was classic. The landlord just lazy as hell.

But nah girl I didn't wash. I think I will wait until Wednesday night which is my regular wash night.

Girl I can't wait. I'm buying the Paul M. The detangler condish. And I am using the Aussie Knot as a pre-poo, I am also taking CandyC's advice and I may sleep in some oils along with it. Pray for me yall.

lol at you. (landlord) Wed is wash night for me. So I am praying for less shedding. Kep us posted. You know we are praying for the best with those tangles.

 

[divya]

You can do it Mami. Actually, I'm right along with you, stretching until October...at 10 wks now. So hang in there with me girl. Do you sleep with your deep conditioner in? It really helps to keep my hair soft.

 

[goldensensation]

You can do it Mami. Actually, I'm right along with you, stretching until October...at 10 wks now. So hang in there with me girl. Do you sleep with your deep conditioner in? It really helps to keep my hair soft.

Andreatrini?