I'm hurt but should I be angry/bitter with him

This sounds like a tough situation.

Personally, I think that you telling him that you may possibly have a future together in a year or two if he does a,b, and c and expecting him not to see anyone else in the meantime is pretty selfish. It sounds like you want to call the shots and you want him to wait around for you to decide whether or not he is worthy. If you really expect him not to move on, I really dont think it is realistic unless you agree you are taking a break for a deisgnated amount of time or that you will remain together and you are going to support him while he seeks help for his addiction. It isnt fair that you are free to do whatever you want, but he is supposed to remain alone until a time comes when and if you decide to take him back. It is up to you whether or not you decide to stay with him, but basically if you are broken up you are bothpretty much free to do as you choose.
 
Leslie_C said:
This sounds like a tough situation.

Personally, I think that you telling him that you may possibly have a future together in a year or two if he does a,b, and c and expecting him not to see anyone else in the meantime is pretty selfish. It sounds like you want to call the shots and you want him to wait around for you to decide whether or not he is worthy. If you really expect him not to move on, I really dont think it is realistic unless you agree you are taking a break for a deisgnated amount of time or that you will remain together and you are going to support him while he seeks help for his addiction. It isnt fair that you are free to do whatever you want, but he is supposed to remain alone until a time comes when and if you decide to take him back. It is up to you whether or not you decide to stay with him, but basically if you are broken up you are bothpretty much free to do as you choose.
Click to expand...

pretty much everything i wanted to say...

op, you can't have your cake and eat it too... you dumped him... it's really not right to string him along until you can see if he's changed enough to meet what you want... it's a tough situaton, yes...
 
I don't think what he did was wrong, if you are following the "rules".

But, it still hurts. It just does, and that doesn't mean you need to make up with him, or accept his faults, or whatever so that you can feel most important in this man's (or any man's) life.

That was painful and you need to just let yourself heal from that.
 
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