I'm about to give up!-- ladies please help

[OnPoint]

Ladies please help

I joined this forum about almost a year ago ( in october) and I had about 7 inches( length from root to tip) of hair When I started I was grazing shoulder length. Now the back of my head is about 2 inches pass shoulder length. On average my hair is about 8-9 inches. After a almost a year of taking care of my hair and buying a lot of products, I feel like I have not made much progress- by now I should almost be at bra strap and I am not even at armpit I have about 3 inches until armpit and another 3 until brastrap- which puts me right back to a year

History of my hair
For about 5 years I wore braids, I just took them out this june and got a texturizer. On top of that the hairstylist put a black rinse to make my hair appear shinier. When she straighted my hair, the ends wouldn't take, she said that it was "too spongy" My hair has been constantly breaking since I got a texturizer, it won't stop. On stop of that I have fine hair- so I really can't afford to lose much. I wash once a week- with elucence or NTM, I layed off the heat- once every two weeks, I reduced my combing- every 2-3 days, eat healthy and I deep condition/ use protein treatments. This week I spent almost $100.00 on Nexxus products. They have helped A LOt to reduce the breakage, but I still have alot.

I feel like I do not know how to manage the texturizer. No matter how gentle I am, it still breaks. I am starting to think that I should have gotten a relaxer.
I don't know if I should do big cut and start again? should I get a relaxer on top of the texturizer? or should I put braids back in my hair? The reason why I haven't opt'ed for the braids is because ( I think) I have to learn how to take care of my hair in its texturized state. I can't keep on running to the braids- which I did for 5 years straight!
I don't know I want to give up; I want to cry, My hair grows quickly- but I haven't made much progress. Please, Please,Please help. I will gladly take any suggestions or criticisms

Thank you

 

[kizzylonghair]

Hi OnPoint,

PLEASE dont give up, I cant really give you any advise on a Texturiser as I have never had one. I bet there are ladies on here that can help though.

Its doesnt sound like the braids are agreeing with you, Are you mantaining your hair correctly underneath them. I would leave them out and concentrate on YOUR hair.
It may just need some mega moisture to stop the breakage, You said you have just brough some nexxuss. I swear by Nexxuss Humuctress under the dryer for 30mins, add some Oils for extra moisture. Then follow up with the nexxuss leave-in. Use the con on dry as a normal moisturiser as well
Do it twice a week until the breakage calms down.

Are you using too much protein it could be doing more harm than good. When my hair was breaking I reached for protein, but It made it worst it was moisture it needed.

HTH

Chin Up, Ladies on this board all have had set backs and manage to get to great lengths

Kizzy

 

[zoya_j]

hey dont give up! there is alot of inspiration on this board. I suggest you take a look at some of the ladies albums here on this board. A good one to check out is den1's. Don't worry everyone goes through these days where you want to cut everything off and start over, trust me cos i feel that way now. my hair is also texturized and i suffer from breakage and shedding but i know my downfall is not enough moisture. good luck and don't give up )

 

[bajanplums1]

You cannot give up!!

I did a lot of experimenting for 2 years with products and techniques. A lot of it did now work and I had to cut a lot--every 4 months. When I joined LHCF my hair was shoulder length but breaking all the time. Though I had to lose a lot of length for 2 years while I learned my way, the point is I now have a regimen that works. I am more educated about products, so I spend less $$. Finally, breakage is not a problem, so my growth is unlimited now.

if something is not working, quit it. If something works, stick with it. BTW: I also have fine hair and my hair is growing and no breakage now.

 

[California]

(((OnPoint))) Take a deep breath. Your hair is really damaged.
Too much going on for fine hair, and a texturizer is like having a Jheri-Curl, you must moisturize it all the time.
Get the BC. Since your hair grows fast. This is to get it right.
When you do get a relaxer go for a Lye one, No-Lye is drying.
Spongy ends (nothing and I mean nothing can help them).
Braids with a Texturizer how to care for them properly together: Crown and Glory technique By, Robin Woods
Sounds like you have good products stick with them for the next batch of hair and what is healthy left. I hope you don't give up. I been there and feel your pain.

 

[Angelicus]

Don't give up! Trust me, you have made progress. Do you want your hair to be the way it was last year? Of course not! I feel like my hair has been the same length for two years but its the healthiest it has EVER been,... EVER! Be encouraged, kick back, and make a simple regimen... let time take its course.

 

[ichephren]

What did the stylist texturize your hair with? If it was a lye relaxer, then you could theoretically do a corrective, though I would not advise it right now. If it was a thio texturizer, then do not put a lye/no lye relaxer over it. Is there a particular part of your hair that's breaking? Is it just the ends or all over? If it is all over, then maybe you should try Nexxus Emergencee and Aphogee, each followed by a really deep conditioner like 10 en 1. It will also take time for breakage to stop, so you may be on the right track and simply need to keep doing what you're doing. If I were you(and I wanted to keep my hair), I'd do a treatment with the Emergencee followed by a deep conditioner, then a few days later, I'd do a treatment with Aphogee and do another deep treatment. I'd do conditioner washes everyday and use a good leave in like Giovanni direct and use absolutely no heat at all. I'd keep doing that till there is no more breakage. When there is no more breakage, I'd count about a month or two then go back in braids and grow out my hair. Another option is to just go into braids and disregard the hair that you already have if you intend to cut it off anyway. I think braids are a very good way of protecting the hair and since your hair grows quickly, you won't be in braids that long anyway.

 

[OnPoint]

thank you ladies for all of your replies!!! So much love for y'all! I will keep on trying.

Kizzy, thanks so much for the suggestions. I will try to moisturize my hair. So far I have used sta sof fro, mango butter, castor oil ( both liquid and hard creme). I guess I need to try something else. What is the Nexxus leave in you recommend? I don't have that yet. Zoya J thanks for the encouragement. I feel like I am the only texturized head that just can't get it together, no matter how hard I try. After reading all of thse post I think that the thing I need is moisture and some cuts along the way.Bajanplums all I can say is wow! You have made sooo much progress within this year alone- ( refering to your album) I will try to remember your progress when I feel discouraged! and I will continue to try until I find something that works for me.Thanks. California, I guess you can see that I am hyperventilating over the situation. I never really thought about texturized hair being like Jheri Curl hair that needs constant moisture. I will definitely remember that point! Anky you are right, I don't want to be where i was last year and I have made some progress. It is just trying to learn how to manage this texturizer is so hard. By the way you have some BEAUTIFUL hair- I will remeber your progress too when I get discouraged. Ichephren, you made some good points that I never thought about. I don't know what type of relaxer she used for my texturizer. I guess I need to be more informed if I am going to make changes. I am going to follow up on your recommedation and do more deep treatments more frequently, especially if I want to hault this breakage. I am doing a deep condition right now. By the way, what is Giovanni direct, where can I purchase this? The one thing that I don't have in my regimen is a leave in.Thanks so much

As all of you have alluded to.. I need to be patient and find what works for me. I will keep on trying for a month, see what works and then make necessary changes ( ie do the BC) Until then-Moisture, moisture, moisture is the key!
Thanks to all once again - thanks for helping me to keep my mind in check!
Much love for the LHCF ladies (K)

 

[shunemite]

Just wanted to add that I can totally relate to your experience with the constant braiding coz for 2 years I had been getting micro-braids non-stop. I took them out last year in the summer and boy was my hair damaged! I lost my temples and my ends were FRIZZY. My hair was see through.

I got very frequent trims coz I was afraid to do the BC. I do weekly deep conditioning, and rarley use heat. Now a year later, my hair is 7 inches of VERY healthy hair, and my temples have grown back in to about 4 inches. I sport a blunt bob and I get compliments on it from time to time.

Don't lose hope, you're finding the culprit, and the hair will grow back in slowly but surely. If you have a no-lye in your hair, Shamboosie's book "Beautiful Black Hair" recommends a 30 min deep co with Nexxus humectress for the dryness sometimes caused by no-lye.

 

[ichephren]

Giovanni direct leave in can be bought at either Wholefoods or at GNC. It's medium thick, creamy, and very moisturizing. HTH.

 

[Miosy]

OnPoint, let me tell ya It actually took me two whole years to figure what works for my hair w/ a lot of trials and erros. I think I seriously started around 2003 and now in 2005 I finally got it right so I look forward to my progress. Now I know all the "not" for my hair. What helped me is my hair journal which I kept since 2003 and my progress pictures. I was able to see what I did wrong.
Don't give up, there are a lot of knowledgable and smart people here who have gone through the same hurtles you have
Keep on going

 

[lovechic]

Please don't give up girl! I keep telling myself the same message too! It does get kinda frustrating when you see so many Sistahs who seem to reach their goals rapidly, but Hey...they have felt the same way we do! You'll reach your goal...just be patient, Once you stop all the measuring/checking length, you will be amazed at your length...I know I was!

 

[taraglam2]

OnPoint, let me tell ya It actually took me two whole years to figure what works for my hair w/ a lot of trials and erros. I think I seriously started around 2003 and now in 2005 I finally got it right so I look forward to my progress. Now I know all the "not" for my hair. What helped me is my hair journal which I kept since 2003 and my progress pictures. I was able to see what I did wrong.
Don't give up, there are a lot of knowledgable and smart people here who have gone through the same hurtles you have
Keep on going

Please do not give up! -- Miosy is right---it takes some time to find the right "fixx" for your hair and what your hair loves. There is a girl at my job with beautiful bra strap length hair and she said she always had tore up hair until she found the right stylist that used the right products and the "right techniques" --she said now she knows exactly what to look for in products and stylists, but it took years. After living here in Maryland for 2 years, I finally found the "right stylist" just this past July that has the "right techniques" and he advised me on the "right products" for my hair after months and months of shopping and buying and returning. Please do not give up.

 

[MeechUK]

Please don't give up! I joined this forum in November 2004 and I have learned a lot. Over the past 3 mths I have learnt that in order to maintain any length gained I have to dust and deep condition regularly and keep oil to a minimum. I have fine textured hair and oils tend to weigh my hair down. I am also a recovering product junkie, I have a large box of products under my bed waiting to be used! When it comes to my hair the old adage "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince" is true. I have spent a fortune on products and the joke is homemade inexpensive products work much better than the expensive ones promising miraculous results!

The symptoms you are experiencing is your hair's message to you. Nexxus is a great range, but my hair only likes it in specific seasons. I try to alternate my cleansing products every 2-4 weeks. I recently started using Herbal Essences Hydrating Conditioner for my cw's and no manipulation on dry hair, and my hair is thanking me big time!

Have patience and listen to your hair, if your hair grows quickly and keeps breaking you need to rethink your products and regime.

HHG,
MeechUK

 

[UmSumayyah]

The ladies have given you some good advice.
I would like to add that even though you only do heat 2x a month, even that might be too much for your particular hair.

 

[Valerie]

Don't give up, I has taken me a long time to realise that relaxing and texturising is not for me. It is now three and half years that I have been natural. I have finally learned to retain my hair length and I am still learning. I learned that rinsing my hair on a regular basis is a must for me and on this board I am learning new things every day.

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

OnPoint please don't give I too felt that way on numerous occsions believe me with all the vitamins and products I bought my hair should have been longer too. I had 2 major setbacks since finding the boards in November, don't let that stop you from your goals. One of the biggest change in my hair happened when I stopped braiding and started taking care of my hair, it's challenging but so far so good. My hair is far from long, but its the healthiest its ever been in a long time (and I have double-processed hair, relaxer plus highlights). Keep on taking care of your hair, give the braids a rest, you will see a chnge, believe me.

 

[SerenityBreeze]

Don't give up. I know you may feel like it; but don't. It just takes time and patience.

I remember when when my hair used to fall out all over the place. As a matter of fact, I could not wake up with out seeing bits and pieces of my hair all over my bed, on the floor and when I blow dried my hair, forget about it.

It does sound like your hair may be damaged. In an effort to save it, try using a heavy protein (reconstructor) like Dudley's DRC 28. This is extremely heavy treatment and should help hopefully stop the breakage. It worked for me.

Serenity

 

[OnPoint]

Just wanted to add that I can totally relate to your experience with the constant braiding coz for 2 years I had been getting micro-braids non-stop. I took them out last year in the summer and boy was my hair damaged! I lost my temples and my ends were FRIZZY. My hair was see through.

I got very frequent trims coz I was afraid to do the BC. I do weekly deep conditioning, and rarley use heat. Now a year later, my hair is 7 inches of VERY healthy hair, and my temples have grown back in to about 4 inches. I sport a blunt bob and I get compliments on it from time to time.

Don't lose hope, you're finding the culprit, and the hair will grow back in slowly but surely. If you have a no-lye in your hair, Shamboosie's book "Beautiful Black Hair" recommends a 30 min deep co with Nexxus humectress for the dryness sometimes caused by no-lye.

Thanks for the encouragement! Since I last post, I have been doing conditioner washes every other day with Nexxus humectress. I am going to have to buy a another bottle of this expensive stuff, but it helped A WHOLE LOT!!! My breakage is minimal. And I took the advice that texturized hair is like having a Jheri curl that needs constant moisture, so I bought a bottle of s curl and - wow, that helped moisturize my hair so much! That's funny because it never worked when I had in braids, but my hair loves it now! I will keep everyone updated on my progress. Thanks again ladies

 

[OnPoint]

To Miosy, lovechic, taraglam2, MeechUk, UmSumayyah, Valerie, Intelligenceis Beautiful, and SerenityBreeze- Thank you soooo much for your words. I am happy to know that other people have stuggled too. It is so true that you see all of these beautiful ladies reaching their goals, meanwhile I am stuck here with little progress. But it is so true "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince"- practice makes perfect. I will still try to find what works for me. Thanks so much ladies. Much love!!!

 

[ravensunshine]

Hello OnPoint,
Keep hanging in there. Many of us have been there and back with our hair- that's why most of us joined this board to learn and share info!!!
It has taken me years of trial and error (mostly error) to figure things out. I love my hair and if I never get to BSL length and beyond oh well, thanks to this board I have very healthy shoulder length hair that I am finally proud of.
I wanted to suggest the Generic brands of Nexuss products available at Sally's the ingredients are exactly the same and if you don't like it you can TAKE THEM BACK! I figure if you are doing all that conditioning you will be going through products like water.
I also recently stumbled on a product made from EOs that I intend to start a thread about called Premier's Rose Conditioner. I will include the link
http://www.american-flex.com/grooming.htm


It has stopped the ends from snapping and smells of cloves. So I am now able to retain the length. It may help you, I wish I found it years ago (I'd be sitting on my hair by now).
My last bit of input is to check out Fresh Looks Bodiphier- it is not a traditional relaxer and is so very gentle to the hair while allowing you to style it or wear it natural. Here's their link and they just updated their web site so there is more info. http://www.storesonline.com/site/681420/page/45029

This also helped me to stop tourturing myself/hair because its natural and can be used even if you relaxed or texturized before.

Best of luck!!