im a traitor...im thinking about relaxing

[shakenspirit]

ugh ladies im looking at pictures of myself when i was 12-15...i was fly lml not that im not fly now...i think all ladies are fly i said ladies not females because some females are just...i digress lol anyway my hair was only permed for three years of my life and i wouldnt say it did any major damage my hair always stayed long.I just don't want to regret it if i do it.what do you guys think should i do it??erplexed

 

[JuiceMobsta]

Hey gurrrlllllll

Well what are your reasons for wanting to do it?? Do you think you can take better care of relaxed hair than you can for your natural hair? Cause really its all up to you and what you feel is best for yourself at this time.

Oh and can we see the pics??:eyebrows2

 

[Firstborn2]

I wish I could give you an answer that would help. I'm on the fence about relaxing myself.

 

[Uber]

One minute I am soooo certain I am relaxing because I love relaxed hair and the bouncy curls I'll be able to get with my roller sets without flatironing. Plus when I get my weave I wont have to flat iron my leave out section so much if its relaxed. Last night I decided I needed to buy a chi so I can curl the weave hair when I get it. This morning i wake up (after having dreamt about how I will look with my weave )and decide that since I am getting a chi I can flat iron my natural hair a couple of times a year rather than relax. This I conclude will be the best option since I am terrified of what the stylist might do at my virgin relaxer.

Having forgotten about my decision this morning I have already mentioned on this board somewhere today about loving relaxed hair and begun imagined my hair relaxed again.



Girl I wish I could help

 

[weaveadiva]

Well what are your reasons for wanting to do it??

i'm confused also

you said you're not having trouble retaining length, so what would be the advantage for you?

it doesn't sound to me like you want to relax. if you did i don't believe you'd be looking for validation

(i know that sounds kind of harsh on paper but i don't mean it that way i just think that when people have to ask about a decision then they're really not ready to do it...no harm meant )

btw, doesn't make you a traitor if you decide to relax...do what's right for you

 

[theLovelyStyle]

Well if you prefer straight styles with less the heat, then go ahead!

 

[Dommo]

I recently (cpl months ago) did a virgin relaxer after transitioning for almost 2 yrs. I love it. Best decision For Me! I work, travel and excersise A LOT. It just makes my life easier. I could straighten my natural hair easy but it won't last with my lifestyle and my appearance is very important to me(can't do ugly protective styles and frizzy or flat hair) Now I have a super fly bob cut and loving it. Do what's right for you. Honestly though, if my natural hair was as long as yours though, I wouldn't relax. just my opinion. I do my friends bsl (when straight) natural hair and hook it up!!

 

[blessedandlucky]

when did we start equating relaxing with being a traitor? it's your hair. do what makes you comfortable. being relaxed doesn't say anything about your character, degree of "blackness" or knowledge of your history and the history of relaxers. just as being natural doesn't.

we've gone from "light vs. dark" to "relaxed vs. natural." i know that's not the gist of your thread, but that's what it reminds me of with positioning relaxing as being a traitor somehow.

do what you want. if you don't like it, you can transition, although it could be a length process depending on how long you want to do it. it's really only a question that you can answer.

good luck.

 

[Tiye]

How old are you now? You say you were fly when you were 12-15 ... but you know you can't go back in time and be 12 again. You can relax your hair now if that's what you want to do but you'll still need to learn to feel good about yourself in the here and now.

 

[Trini_Chutney]

If you want to relax then go for it. It is after all your hair, do what works for you. I won't see you as a "traitor".

 

[halee_J]

Nah, you're not a traitor. What you do to your hair is a personal choice. The only person to whom you are accountable is yourself You are already a member here, so there is more than enough knowlegde to maintain relaxed hair. Aside from some people's medical resons, it really comes down to preference. You can have healthy relaxed hair. If I were you I would get a sheet of paper and write on one side all the reasons you want to relax and on the other your reasons for staying natural.

 

[WyrdWay]

Nah, you're not a traitor. What you do to your hair is a personal choice. The only person to whom you are accountable is yourself You are already a member here, so there is more than enough knowlegde to maintain relaxed hair. Aside from some people's medical resons, it really comes down to preference. You can have healthy relaxed hair. If I were you I would get a sheet of paper and write on one side all the reasons you want to relax and on the other your reasons for staying natural.

I agree with Halee_J weigh your positives and negatives and see what is best for you. But remember its not about how other people will view your desion and relaxing doesn't make you a traitor.

PLUS if you don't like it you can just grow it back out and snip snip

 

[Chameleonchick]

First off I must say that just because you want to relax it won't make you a traitor. If you feel that way then maybe you shouldn't do it. If you feel that relaxing is the better option for you then do it. Please do all of your research first before you do it, because once you do it you can't go right back, at least with the same amount of hair. ANother thing if you are comfortable with it and decide not to relax, get a straight weave or a wig. That's an easy fix

 

[MsBoinglicious]

I have been thinking about texlaing my hair. I kinda feel this natural journey would have been all for nothing. But I am just so sick and tired of my hair.

I know sometimes I go through these "should I relax/texlax" phases and they pass after a week or so. But this time I have been thinking about it for over a month now. But I said I would give myself until December this year to decide. And I am preparing myself mentally to take full responsibilty if things with relaxing/texlaxing do not work out (like BC'ing/Cutting hair shorter if my hair breaks off).

 

[ms.blue]

There is nothing wrong about being relaxed and this is coming from a natural head. Putting a relaxer is a decision that only you have to make and that doesn't make you a traitor. Not everyone wants to be natural and I have seen relaxed hair here and irl life that makes me at times want to get a relaxer. Do what is good for you and your lifestyle.

 

[BostonMaria]

Relaxing is such a personal decision. I'm not sure if you'll get the answer from other posters. You'll have to figure out if this is the right thing for you. Don't ever think you'd be a "traitor." At the end of the day nobody is going to lose sleep over you relaxing your hair. Maybe its because I tend to just see it as hair and that's it, but I think too many people over-think this relaxed & natural hair thing. Yesterday I wanted straight hair so today my hair is long and silky. Tomorrow if I want to wet it and rock a curly ponytail I'll do that too. I like the versatility of natural hair and I don't care if anybody doesn't like it that I flatiron too much or that I'm being a traitor for putting heat to my noggin LOL At the end of the day you shouldn't care either. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[shakenspirit]

I have been thinking about texlaing my hair. I kinda feel this natural journey would have been all for nothing. But I am just so sick and tired of my hair.

I know sometimes I go through these "should I relax/texlax" phases and they pass after a week or so. But this time I have been thinking about it for over a month now. But I said I would give myself until December this year to decide. And I am preparing myself mentally to take full responsibilty if things with relaxing/texlaxing do not work out (like BC'ing/Cutting hair shorter if my hair breaks off).

omg first off your hair is beautiful if i had your hair i wouldnt be thinking this lol i feel the same way i dont wanna do it and then regret it because then it would be too late.i have micro braids right now so i have time to think

 

[shakenspirit]

guys i dont mean a traitor to black people or anything i just mean im gonna feel bad leaving all my wonderful natural ladies

 

[shakenspirit]

oh yeah lol im so all over the place umm im 17 turning 18 in august so its not like im old and saggy now but i just like the way straight hair looks i like curly hair too but i dont like short hair and my hair looks short curly.i want to grow my hair and i am not willing to do ugly protective styles on natural hair im torn

 

[Lynnerie]

Girl you are not a traitor. Your hair is your hair and you can do whatever makes you happy.

We have choices we need to be more unified and supportive for eachother. Its Long hair care forum- healthy hair is the goal and if you feel relaxing well help you get to your goals then thats what matters.

I definitely feel you on the protective styles though. They have got to be cute!

 

[Lucie]

Judas was a traitor. You are not! I relaxed after 2 years of being natural and now I BCed again. It's your hair, do whatever makes YOU happy.

 

[Vashti]

There are relaxed and natural heads on this board. What matters is healthy hair care and you can have that with either relaxed or natural hair. What matters is what works best your your needs.

 

[brucebettye]

Don't call yourself a traitor. I love my texlaxed hair since I can still rock a puff. It is just easier for me since my hair is super thick. But it is a decision you have to make and be happy with. As long as you have healthy hair it does not matter if it is natural, relaxed, texlaxed, or colored. Just do what is best for you.

 

[BostonMaria]

I have been thinking about texlaing my hair. I kinda feel this natural journey would have been all for nothing. But I am just so sick and tired of my hair.

I know sometimes I go through these "should I relax/texlax" phases and they pass after a week or so. But this time I have been thinking about it for over a month now. But I said I would give myself until December this year to decide. And I am preparing myself mentally to take full responsibilty if things with relaxing/texlaxing do not work out (like BC'ing/Cutting hair shorter if my hair breaks off).

Sorry BoingBoing, but if you texlax or relax I'm going to shed a tear. I saw your transition so I'm taking it personal. I'm sending Ninjas to your house once I finish this post LOL

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I have been thinking about texlaing my hair. I kinda feel this natural journey would have been all for nothing. But I am just so sick and tired of my hair.

I know sometimes I go through these "should I relax/texlax" phases and they pass after a week or so. But this time I have been thinking about it for over a month now. But I said I would give myself until December this year to decide. And I am preparing myself mentally to take full responsibilty if things with relaxing/texlaxing do not work out (like BC'ing/Cutting hair shorter if my hair breaks off).

hijacking your thread for a post but GIRL ^^^^^^^ seems to me that you can get all kinds of looks with your natural hair, why are you tired of it?

 

[ebaby]

I relaxed virgin hair in Dec and I am loving it....I also loved my natural hair. I can say my hair is growing like crazy in this hot and humid weather. However, I am relaxing every four months. She used design essentials relaxer and I am a believer. It saves me so much time and I can wear it down and it stays the same ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL day. Before the relaxer it would take me 3 hours to straighten, then I would go outside and it would turn into a big afro. I would get so angry. I loved my fro but there were times when I wanted to wear my hair straight. I will probably go natural again in the future but right now I like the relaxed hair phase.

 

[Mook's hair]

i'm confused also

you said you're not having trouble retaining length, so what would be the advantage for you?

it doesn't sound to me like you want to relax. if you did i don't believe you'd be looking for validation

(i know that sounds kind of harsh on paper but i don't mean it that way i just think that when people have to ask about a decision then they're really not ready to do it...no harm meant )

btw, doesn't make you a traitor if you decide to relax...do what's right for you

THis is almost the exact message I was gonna write to you.

especially the part about btw, doesn't make you a traitor if you decide to relax...do what's right for you

If you will be able to retain length better and be happier with relaxed hair then there is nothing wrong with making that move.

Do you wear straight styles now? Do you have any success with heat straightened natural hair?

 

[LatterGlory]

_____________________

 

[belldandy]

do what you want to do. You're not betraying anyone...

 

[shakenspirit]

THis is almost the exact message I was gonna write to you.

especially the part about btw, doesn't make you a traitor if you decide to relax...do what's right for you

If you will be able to retain length better and be happier with relaxed hair then there is nothing wrong with making that move.

Do you wear straight styles now? Do you have any success with heat straightened natural hair?

my siggy pic is my hair flat ironed so it gets straight but it doesnt stay that way for too long