I'm a newbie that needs support!

[twilight80]

I need a mentor! (Sorry-a little long) I just found this site last week and I love it! I am new to this forum and new to good hair care all together. I have no support offline so hopefully I can get it here.

Back in 9th grade I cut my shoulder length hair to a short short shaved in the back style. Well ever since then I have been trying to grow it back. I am now 27 years old. I have been wearing the weaves, pony tails and everything else that keeps braking my hair. I hate wearing fake hair and want my own hair length back. Seriously, I've never been into fashion, don't wear makeup and don't go to the salon. I'm not a girly type of girl but my hair is what makes me and I'm ready to commit to serious hair care. The back of my hair is to the bottom of my neck and the front goes to the beginning of my eye. So it is way too short to get the look that I want. (the picture in my avatar is me with my weave, I hate taking pictures with my own hair, but hopefully not for long!) Right now my goal is to get my shortest hair back to shoulder length. (Actually I am looking for the length that my weave is on my avatar!)

I guess my family is stuck to old school tactics because I told my mom how I was washing my hair 3x a week or more and she flat out told me that black people don't wash their hair that much and my hair wasn't growning because I was stripping it. She told me that she only washes her hair about 4x a year! erplexed Sorry I can not do that, I will feel dirty! But her hair is almost midback length. I think her growth is more from her always wearing wigs and keeping her own hair braided (no heat, no combing)

So I hope that maybe I can find someone on here to mentor me or keep me on track because I have tried so many times and gave up from lack of motivation.

Two weeks ago I limited and changed my hair products.

I am now using ORS olive oil relaxer, Aubrey Organics Huneysuckle Rose Conditioner, Aubrey Organics White Camille Shampoo and Hawaiian Silky 13 in 1 miracle spray.

I have read some things on this site that I want to try such as the co-washing and the deep co-washing.(Term used by member Tiffer!) Can you do both or should I only do one? and if I do both should I use two different conditioners? Also I live in Colorado so we have harsh water, dry air and no good black salons! I'm also thinking about going natural because I can't tell too much difference between my natrual hair and my relaxer. (My relaxers never get my hair straight, just wavy)

Any advice would be helpful to me. I don't even have a hair regime. It's past time for me to start feeling sexy and beautiful with my own hair.

Thanks ahead for anyone that reads all of this!

 

[CHECKMATE!]

Welcome ...the best advice I can offer is to have patience.consistency,and determination with your hair...u WILL reach every goal u wish for...also...stretching,protective styling,moisturizing end,and no trimming will have your hair flowing down your back HHG

 

[Mz.Shug]

:welcome3:to the forum!

"I guess my family is stuck to old school tactics because I told my mom how I was washing my hair 3x a week or more and she flat out told me that black people don't wash their hair that much and my hair wasn't growning because I was stripping it."

From what i've learned SO FAR..Newbie also..
There's nothing wrong with washing your hair frequently. It's more so what products your using. I wouldn't suggest clarifying that many times a week. I can see how that would strip your hair. Co-washing is an awesome alternative to washing w/ shampoo too frequent. I live in vegas where it's also dry and hard water. Co-washing helped me to retain moisture.

You've come to the right place.This place is full of wonderful information. Just read as much as you can and remember to do what's best for your hair. I'm sure the pro's will weigh in shortly. Happy Growing!

 

[caribeandiva]

wow, i actually read the entire post. Welcome to haircare! Great decision btw. Ok first, if you need motivation just spend some time on this site everyday (like that's hard ) and PM the people who's hair you admire. The mentorship part will take care of itself.

My mother didn't say what your mom said. Her and my sister actually listened to me and started caring for their hair too when they saw i was serious. It's my friends who laughed and asked me did I think i was white. Now they get quiet when they see my hair down .

I think you should do deep conditioning washes because heat makes the conditioner penetrate the hair shaft better and since your hair is very likely damaged, YOU NEED THIS!! Shampoo once a week with a moisturizing shampoo and deep condition 2x a week or more.

P.S. You need a hair album so you can track your progress. It helps to see how far you've come when you get discouraged. Mine is in my siggy.

 

[butterfly_wings]

Hiya

I'm still fairly new, but what I've learnt that has improved my hair and has allowed me to retain length is

Moisture - deep conditioning (30 mins with heat, 1 hour plus without heat) and daily moisturising like a leave in spray, washing your hair with conditioner only a few times a week (this cleans your hair too so you don't need shampoo all of the time)

Protein - if your hair is damaged use a strong protein like Aphogge once every 6 weeks (if needed) or a light protein like Nexuss Kerphix weekly

Protecting your ends - I hide my hair under a phony pony most of the time

Less to No heat - i.e. flat irons or blow dryers

Relaxing - Underprocessed hair is better than Overprocessed hair as your hair will keep it strength, you can always get the straighter look with a flat iron

NO Mineral oil, use natural oils to seal your hair (I.e. seal in the dampness from you conditioners and water based sprays

Water = Moisture not oil

Honey is good at attracting moisture

Olive Oil is good and can moisturise


The ladies here are lovely!! and you will learn loads here not just about hair!!

So welcome