Mine would say:
"BOUT DAGG'ON TIME MISSY!!!! Yep, I 'memba that scary curl, that time you got a fresh curl one day and 2 days later went swimmin' and didn't wash me and your then collar-bone length do went from that to a burnt out, ate up half mohawk in less than 2 months! Gotcha then didn't I? But I digress, tell them fine folx at LHCF that I said a big ole THANK YOU for showing you the light. Oh and tell that woman braiding me to ease up on my edges before you have a hairline like Stevie Wonder."