If you thought TPS was controversial before you ain't seen nothing yet...

[ThePerfectScore]

Hey you guys! Back to the whole reason I joined this site... MY HAIR!


So today I went to 3 BSS! haha After I had just been in one BSS I wrote down all the prices for Aphogee products.. I went to another BSS across the street and I went there and compared prices.I was using my daddy's gas , if it were my gas it would have been a one stop shop... haha

so anyway. I was going to for Aphogee 2 Step b/c I wanted to use Sistaslick's and other's method of prepping hair before a relaxer... so was going to do the 2 step... ( I LOVE the 2 minute, but to me its just like regular conditioner, not heavy enough)... I wanted to bring out the big boys, then 3 weeks later retouch my hair. I have a tried stretching relaxers, inspired by Sylver 2. My 1st and only stretch was 6 months. Currently I am like 5 or 6 months Post... I honestly don't know haha.

So I go to the BSS to get my Aphogee so I could reinforce the strands before my mom relaxes them. So I get the Aphogee and ORS Olive Oil Relaxers are on sale for $6! So i get one of those... b/c you can never have too many boxes of the creamy crack right.

My mom is in the wigs section picking out a pony tail b/c I told her about baggying the ends and hiding it with a phony pony. I'm over there trying to help her pick out the color. Her hair is too black for any of the ponytails that look natural (b/c she colors her grey with black black dye). So one of the employees there (a BM) comes over to help us, which I found strange b/c its a korean owned BSS. And I've never seen an employee other than an Asian one. The man claimed to be a hair stylist from California who specializes in natural hair and relaxed hair, but dabbles in some weave.

So we start talking and I'm explaining to the man about baggying the ends and hiding it with a pony. And then I tell him about the website (I don't mention names haha b/c I'm selfish! I will share the information but not the URL haha) And I was explaining to him about how I am conflicted about relaxing or transitioning to natural or texlax... I explained to him my hair texture in terms of 3b--4b... and he got confused... sorta made me question his authenticity as a hair stylist... he didn't know what it meant. And look at me thinking I was talking to him in "hair stylist" language. but i gave him the benefit of the doubt b/c you don't have to know the lingo to have LONG healthy hair.

So I was telling him how I was going to do the 2 step Aphogee and then get a retouch... (I had just purchased both!) And he looks at me and with the most serious look on your face....

"Looking at your texture you don't need a relaxer. I wouldn't do it."

CONFIRMED!

I walked back over the the cash register and got my $6 dollars back. So b/c of him I am now transitioning officially. The thing about it is... I'm so conflicted b/c my mama and others would say... "GIRL YOU NAPPY!" "GIRL YOU NEED A RETOUCH!" or my mama's favorite "Let me give you a edge up." (that's where u only relax the front and nape of your hairline.

And yesterday my mom and I just had a talk at the Chanel Make up counter about how she gave me a complex about my lips growing up. I have full lips FYI. The MUA was explaining the Chanel Skin care line to my mom (The MUA has FLAWLESS SKIN!!!!!) and I was reapplying my MAC Flourish lipstick. My mom looks over and says a rude comment about how bright my lips are and I called her out on it and how it has always made me feel bad when she talks about it. (that's a whole nother post but she apologized and said it were her insecurities about her lips she was projecting on me)

So after I get done talking to the guy in the BSS... he suggested Nexxus Emergence for me....so that made him good in my book He redeemed himself for not knowing what 3c-4b hair texture was.... I am set on Transitioning.


But I am so MAD at myself! If I didn't get weak 6 months ago I'd be a year into my process! but the guy at the BSS said don't worry tis worth it, just cut a little bit at a time and 6 months from now you will be good.

So I've been telling all my friends! especially the one's of different races b/c they have asked me question like why my hair isn't an Afro and stuff like that. Innocent questions... b/c they don't know honestly..

so I told them all I give it 2 years of faithful transitioning and natural hair. I will start my Junior year of college thursday, so I told them if by graduation I HATE Natural Hair I will get a relaxer when I get my hair done for graduation. But if they see me curly and Fierce on Graduation day... then I will be natural for LIFE!

I figured its easier to just transition and if I don't like it relax than forever wonder what if. Hair is a silly thing in which you mess it up.. you cut it off and start over. IDK why many of us (women in general) think of hair as such an important thing. Yes I want healthy hair, but I also don't want to be stressed out.

So thank you LHCF for inspiring me to see the beauty in Natural Hair... Before this site I never gave it any thought. I figured I'd be relaxed for life... I've been this way since I was 6 or 7. But A new school year, a new apartment, a new TPS! I'm excited... I will be taking lots of pics about my journey!

 

[AllAboutMoi]

Congrats on your decision to transition. How have you been styling your hair?

 

[Jhuidah]

Yay! for transitioning--congrats! I can't say that I can be of much help, since I didn't really transition for very long. Roughly 5.5 months between my last relaxer and my 3 am big chop.

Luckily there are many ladies here who can answer your questions.

 

[LoveLiLi]

Good luck with your transition.

Things that I loved while transitioning (and still do):

Butters - hemp seed butter is my fave. Red palm is great but it stains .
Henna
Oils - Amla, vatika, evco
Conditioner - I used the cheapies for cowashing and the expensive ones for deep conditioning and leave ins.

You'll have to experiment to find out what your hair likes best. I found out that my hair hates glycerin and that getting highlights while transitioning can lead to an emergency appt for color correction.

And don't be mad at yourself for not transitioning 6 months ago. It took me three transitions to stick to being natural. My 2nd transition was during college and I just couldn't take the awkward phase and I relaxed. I felt I had to have perfectly 'done' hair at all times.

Plus, I experimented with Naturalaxer thinking I could go from a fro to hair that stayed silky straight until I washed it. It made my hair feel so weird. I should have known better than to trust a company that had a friggin Nap-o-meter on its website. Wow, I feel like and old-head now. Remember when Naturalaxer and Bodiphier were hot!?

 

[ThePerfectScore]

thanks! I'm going to do more Co-washes... I do them now b/c my NG LOVES IT.. gaves it.. my relax ends look at me like I'm silly and get all mushy, but now that its natural all the way I don't care what my relaxed ends want.

I mostly wear buns and pony tails.. this is one of the main reasons I'm going to transition, b/c its not like I wear my hair DOWN and straight anymore since I've given up heat.


One of my justifications in my minds for staying relaxed was now that I have given up heat my hair has stopped breaking off, no more split ends... I've been basically a year with no heat (basically)... So my fear is as a natural woman will I use the heat? I have heat protectants and what not, but during my relaxer stretch every month or so I blow dry my roots to see my length... so i fear will I be addicted to the heat tools as a natural?


and no a company did not have a Nap-o-meter... I would have been too threw.

 

[beans4reezy]

Congrats! This is a great story and a great decision you have made. Good luck on your road to natural hair

 

[mariofmagdal]

Best wishes as you transition.

 

[Supergirl]

Best wishes to you!

I do have a problem with the gentlemen's philosophy on "needing" or "not needing" a relaxer based on your texture. No one needs a relaxer in my opinion (and in many opinions here). I hope your decision to transition is not based on his ignorant comment that you "don't need a relaxer because of your texture." I hope you are doing it because it is your desire.

Also, as for him not being familiar with the hair typing system. I'd say, don't expect most hairstylists to know that. In fact, don't expect most anyone to know it unless they frequent internet hair boards. The typing system came from Oprah's ex-stylist Andre, so if someone is not familiar with his hair book or internet hair boards, they won't know that. I wouldn't judge a stylist's credibility based on them not knowing Andre's hair typing system.

 

[isabella09]

Congratulation’s on your decision to transition and I wish you a great journey.

 

[countrychickd]

Congratulations on making the decision lady! I could definitely feel your excitement in this post, and I felt the same way when I made the decision. You can do this lady, and you will look beautiful. Your natural texture is naturally in your design, so why wouldn't it look great on you?

Oh, and most stylists don't know the hair typing system. A lot of things we use here or discuss here is foreign to most. Cowashing for example.

Good luck on your journey lady.

 

[Supervixen]

Congrats on your decision to transition! Stick with it, it is an uphill battle for a while.

 

[JayAnn0513]

Congrats! We are in the same boat, I texlaxed back in Jan after attempting to transition and getting frustrated. So here I am again coming up on 8 months, hoping to make it to Jan 2010, when I plan to chcop off my relaxed ends. Good Luck!

 

[Odd One]

Congrats on your decision!! I wish you a happy transition!

I sometimes think about going natural....

 

[cmw45]

Hey you guys! Back to the whole reason I joined this site... MY HAIR!


So today I went to 3 BSS! haha After I had just been in one BSS I wrote down all the prices for Aphogee products.. I went to another BSS across the street and I went there and compared prices.I was using my daddy's gas , if it were my gas it would have been a one stop shop... haha

so anyway. I was going to for Aphogee 2 Step b/c I wanted to use Sistaslick's and other's method of prepping hair before a relaxer... so was going to do the 2 step... ( I LOVE the 2 minute, but to me its just like regular conditioner, not heavy enough)... I wanted to bring out the big boys, then 3 weeks later retouch my hair. I have a tried stretching relaxers, inspired by Sylver 2. My 1st and only stretch was 6 months. Currently I am like 5 or 6 months Post... I honestly don't know haha.

So I go to the BSS to get my Aphogee so I could reinforce the strands before my mom relaxes them. So I get the Aphogee and ORS Olive Oil Relaxers are on sale for $6! So i get one of those... b/c you can never have too many boxes of the creamy crack right.

My mom is in the wigs section picking out a pony tail b/c I told her about baggying the ends and hiding it with a phony pony. I'm over there trying to help her pick out the color. Her hair is too black for any of the ponytails that look natural (b/c she colors her grey with black black dye). So one of the employees there (a BM) comes over to help us, which I found strange b/c its a korean owned BSS. And I've never seen an employee other than an Asian one. The man claimed to be a hair stylist from California who specializes in natural hair and relaxed hair, but dabbles in some weave.

So we start talking and I'm explaining to the man about baggying the ends and hiding it with a pony. And then I tell him about the website (I don't mention names haha b/c I'm selfish! I will share the information but not the URL haha) And I was explaining to him about how I am conflicted about relaxing or transitioning to natural or texlax... I explained to him my hair texture in terms of 3b--4b... and he got confused... sorta made me question his authenticity as a hair stylist... he didn't know what it meant. And look at me thinking I was talking to him in "hair stylist" language. but i gave him the benefit of the doubt b/c you don't have to know the lingo to have LONG healthy hair.

So I was telling him how I was going to do the 2 step Aphogee and then get a retouch... (I had just purchased both!) And he looks at me and with the most serious look on your face....

"Looking at your texture you don't need a relaxer. I wouldn't do it."

CONFIRMED!

I walked back over the the cash register and got my $6 dollars back. So b/c of him I am now transitioning officially. The thing about it is... I'm so conflicted b/c my mama and others would say... "GIRL YOU NAPPY!" "GIRL YOU NEED A RETOUCH!" or my mama's favorite "Let me give you a edge up." (that's where u only relax the front and nape of your hairline.

And yesterday my mom and I just had a talk at the Chanel Make up counter about how she gave me a complex about my lips growing up. I have full lips FYI. The MUA was explaining the Chanel Skin care line to my mom (The MUA has FLAWLESS SKIN!!!!!) and I was reapplying my MAC Flourish lipstick. My mom looks over and says a rude comment about how bright my lips are and I called her out on it and how it has always made me feel bad when she talks about it. (that's a whole nother post but she apologized and said it were her insecurities about her lips she was projecting on me)

So after I get done talking to the guy in the BSS... he suggested Nexxus Emergence for me....so that made him good in my book He redeemed himself for not knowing what 3c-4b hair texture was.... I am set on Transitioning.


But I am so MAD at myself! If I didn't get weak 6 months ago I'd be a year into my process! but the guy at the BSS said don't worry tis worth it, just cut a little bit at a time and 6 months from now you will be good.

So I've been telling all my friends! especially the one's of different races b/c they have asked me question like why my hair isn't an Afro and stuff like that. Innocent questions... b/c they don't know honestly..

so I told them all I give it 2 years of faithful transitioning and natural hair. I will start my Junior year of college thursday, so I told them if by graduation I HATE Natural Hair I will get a relaxer when I get my hair done for graduation. But if they see me curly and Fierce on Graduation day... then I will be natural for LIFE!

I figured its easier to just transition and if I don't like it relax than forever wonder what if. Hair is a silly thing in which you mess it up.. you cut it off and start over. IDK why many of us (women in general) think of hair as such an important thing. Yes I want healthy hair, but I also don't want to be stressed out.

So thank you LHCF for inspiring me to see the beauty in Natural Hair... Before this site I never gave it any thought. I figured I'd be relaxed for life... I've been this way since I was 6 or 7. But A new school year, a new apartment, a new TPS! I'm excited... I will be taking lots of pics about my journey!

ohwell:

Meaning there are those that NEED a relaxer? Don't get me wrong, I don't really have anything against relaxers or people that decided to relax. However, the mentality that some people NEED to have a relaxer (as in, we push this ideology onto little girls) kinda bugs me. *shrugs*

Best of luck with your transition.

 

[MonPetite]

Congrats on coming to a decision that works best for you. I pray you much success.

 

[BostonMaria]

Wow I can't believe I read that whole thing! I could feel your enthusiasm LOL

First of all congratulations on your decision on transitioning! Don't beat yourself up though because I used to cave so many times that honestly I'd be celebrating my 10 yr anniversary instead of 2 if I didn't cave so many times. Just remember that when you're ready to throw in the towel (sometimes you'll feel like giving up).

As far as curls, textures and stuff, don't worry too much about that now just concentrate on the actual transition itself and having healthy new growth. You're going to have bad hair days, but you'll survive. And don't be surprised if you end up doing the BC before the 2 years. There's tons of blogs and threads on the subject so you should have all the information you need.

Tell your mom, respectfully of course, that she shouldn't project her insecurities on to you. Hey big lips are in! Look at Angelina Jolie! I've seen your YT channel and I know that there's nothing wrong with your lips. Tell her flat, thin lips are mcnasty LOL People pay LOTS of money to inject silicone into their lips and look like yours! As far as your hair, just ignore it. I only told people that are close to me that would encourage me. Anybody else I would say "Yeah I'm getting a touch up next week" The End!

Good luck!!!

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Congrats on your transition! I got your back!!

And nothing is wrong with nappy edges OR full lips - I got both!

 

[ThePerfectScore]

ohwell:

Meaning there are those that NEED a relaxer? Don't get me wrong, I don't really have anything against relaxers or people that decided to relax. However, the mentality that some people NEED to have a relaxer (as in, we push this ideology onto little girls) kinda bugs me. *shrugs*

Best of luck with your transition.

Girl... I gave him the side eye a few times especially when he didn't know what hair textures were in terms of 3c-4b... haha....

It bothered me too, but that was a direct quote from him... and it made me feel good cuz I have good hair or w/e.

But I totally agree... my story is that I was always told I needed it.


here's my story as to why I became relaxed and why I would never transition before

When i was 7 years old my mom let me go with my dad, brother and his boy scout troop caving in the North Ga mountains. And gaves are majorly damp and humid, and my mom didn't braid my hair, but she just left it in plaits. so my mom said since my hair hadn't been combed out in 4 days and I was in such a severe setting my hair had started to get matted up and had swelled with the moisture.

she said when she tried to detangle it I was putting up such a major fight (sorta like that child abuse video posted here of the lady who was ripping out that poor childs beautiful hair and they were cussing at her.) Except my mom didn't abuse me or cuss at me, but I was in so much pain that my mom decided to take me to the salon and get it relaxed .... I then when I was like 10 or so she said she missed my old texture and regrets ever putting a relaxer in my head, she said the only way for me to become natural again was to cut my hair super short.

My mom was ignorant back then and she said if you didn't get a relaxer every 6 weeks at the line of demarcation it would break and would be unrepairable... she didn't know about stretching relaxers or transitioning... she didn't know about mini chops... she told 10 year old me that I had to CHOP off al my hair.

As the only black girl in school... all my friends had naturally, effortlessly long hair... and I cried to my mom that I'd look like a boy and have no friends if I cut off my hair. And so my mom let me keep my hair relaxed... but she always used to threaten me with cutting off my hair and making me go natural.

I used to think that was the most horrible thing on earth b/c there was one other black girl in school (so two black families in the whole school.. mine and this other girls)... and her hair up until high school was in those lil girls plaits... now you know middle school is such a rough age... and kids want to act grown... and she was never popular, the other black girl, b/c of a lot of superficial factors, but I think mostly it was her appearance in white society cuz when you are 13 with those pony tail plaits and thick glasses you aren't considered cool... now look at 13 year olds now a day, just watch Nickelodeon or Disney.... pre-teens now look like college student.

so make a long story short I was afraid of natural hair, and thought if you weren't mixed your hair was bad and nappy.

So this site and the changing trend in society has helped me a lot! This is why I cannot give up on LHCF... b/c despite all the stereotypes we perpetuate, we are breaking so many more.

 

[Geminigirl]

Congrats.....erplexedI have good hair too just so ya'll know.

 

[Chameleonchick]

Good luck with your transition.

Things that I loved while transitioning (and still do):

Butters - hemp seed butter is my fave. Red palm is great but it stains .
Henna
Oils - Amla, vatika, evco
Conditioner - I used the cheapies for cowashing and the expensive ones for deep conditioning and leave ins.

You'll have to experiment to find out what your hair likes best. I found out that my hair hates glycerin and that getting highlights while transitioning can lead to an emergency appt for color correction.

And don't be mad at yourself for not transitioning 6 months ago. It took me three transitions to stick to being natural. My 2nd transition was during college and I just couldn't take the awkward phase and I relaxed. I felt I had to have perfectly 'done' hair at all times.

Plus, I experimented with Naturalaxer thinking I could go from a fro to hair that stayed silky straight until I washed it. It made my hair feel so weird. I should have known better than to trust a company that had a friggin Nap-o-meter on its website. Wow, I feel like and old-head now. Remember when Naturalaxer and Bodiphier were hot!?

How are you using the hemp seed butter?

 

[Chameleonchick]

Congrats on your decision to transition. It can fun and frustrating at times, but it is all about learning hwo to take care of your natural hair.

 

[LoveLiLi]

How are you using the hemp seed butter?

I use it when I leave my hair curly, since it would be too heavy for my flatironed hair.

I apply it to damp hair and it keeps my hair very moisturized and doesn't interfere with other products. When I use other butters, such as olive butter, I'll get a strange white build up if I apply gel to my edges, but hemp seed butter works well with other products.