If when you first started dating someone, he says things about his parents...

MissJ

MissJ

Well-Known Member
that put his parents' character in question to you, what do you do? Do you think, "I'll give him a chance?" or "The apple don't fall far from the tree?"

Grr... I changed tenses mid-sentence in the title, so there's a grammatical error. Please forgive me.
 
MissJ said:
that put his parents' character in question to you, what do you do? Do you think, "I'll give him a chance?" or "The apple don't fall far from the tree?"

Grr... I changed tenses mid-sentence in the title, so there's a grammatical error. Please forgive me.
Click to expand...

People evolve, grow and change, but some of that tree isn't leaving the apple. If that makes sense. In other words, there's mess that my mom does that I hated growing up and can't stand to this day. And when I'm around certain people or in certain situations, that exact NONSENSE starts seeping out of me. :wallbash:

At the same time, I think family is a huge part of a relationship. I'm weary of men, in general, who have negative family relationships - cuz that's a whole lot of drama that I'm not simply ready to deal with, ESPECIALLY early on.

He's letting you know early on he's got family issues?? The family issues are probably a lot bigger than he's admitting.

Proceed with caution. Headlights, maybe some fog lights and get ready for some windshield wipers! :lachen:
 
Depends on what flaws we're talking about and if I think the guy is worth taking a risk on. At the first sign of him repeating his parents' mistakes though, I'm out.
 
Don't write him off just b/c his family has issues/problems. He was born into that family by no choice of his own.

However, if you plan on becoming more involved/serious with this man do ask questions and get an understanding of whether or not he can overcome these issues. Then decide whether or not you want to become a part of his family/life.

In-law issues and long-term issues/problems in your spouse's family can affect your marriage if allowed to.
 
I think it really depends on the circumstances.

My SO doesnt speak to his Mum. At first I was like :perplexed seeing as I'm quite close with my Mum plus people always say things like "You can tell how a guy will treat you from the way he treats their mother".

BUT once our relationship developed and I found out more about what happened, I couldnt blame him for it and actually admire the fact that he was strong enough to cut her out so that he could get on with his own life. I wont lie I hope he does manage to rebuild some form of relationship with her bcz we plan on having children, however I trust his judgement as I dont know her.

I also had to check my own situation with my family - we are not perfect.
 
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