If he were she, she'd be called a 'homewrecker'?

[BroadstreetBully]

Ladies, I heard a story today that made me think. Let me know if you see a double standard in this.

A man I work with shared the story of how he met his wife. He was out and about one day and saw this beautiful woman. First he checked her hand and saw no ring, so he saw that as a green light. Now, he said that when he first laid eyes on her, he knew that he wanted her and nothing would stop him. He said "I didn't even care if she had someone, whatever he was doing, I'd do it x100, I wanted her to be mine and that was that."

So he approached her and found out that she worked nearby (I think they met at some type of shopping center). From that point on he pursued her relentlessly. He would bring her lunch to her job, etc...but no hanky panky. Just laughing, joking, and trying to charm her.

She had a boyfriend, but she told this guy that the relationship was rocky at the moment. Within a few weeks of this guy approaching her, she dumped her guy and got with her Prince Charming. From what I see, this guy is exactly that. He would go to the moon for her, no doubt. We all admire their relationship.

We all found this story to be sweet, etc...but I started to wonder, if we turned the tables and switched up genders, would we all be oooh-ing and ahh-ing over this story?

Say a woman met a man who made her weak in the knees. She verified that he wasn't engaged, but he was in a relationship with someone. She disregarded that because he told her his relationship was on the rocks. Instead of pursuing him the way this man pursued his future wife, she took on a more feminine approach. She would dress nice around him, flirt a little with him, etc... Say he started falling for this girl because she had everything he felt he lacked in his girlfriend so he dumps his girl and gets with the new lady. Would we think their story was sweet or would we call the girl a 'homewrecker' and the man a player and say he was lying about his relationship being on the rocks?

Keep in mind that nobody in this situation is engaged/married and nobody has plans of being engaged or married anytime soon. There was no going on dates, kissing, holding hands, etc.. Just old fashioned flirtation.

Would we treat both situations the same?

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Would we treat both situations the same?

No, I dont think we'd be treating the situation the same. There are tons of double standards when it comes to men and women unfortunately.

I just want to know. Whos at fault here? The person who advanced, or the one who accepted the advances?

Im sure I know the popular answer to this already but I cant wait for the responses.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

No, I dont think we'd be treating the situation the same. There are tons of double standards when it comes to men and women unfortunately.

I just want to know. Whos at fault here? The person who advanced, or the one who accepted the advances?

Im sure I know the popular answer to this already but I cant wait for the responses.

I agree. I also think it depends on how important people consider a boyfriend/girlfriend commitment to be. In the case of the guy, he said that he would not have pursued her if she was engaged/married, but if she just had a boyfriend, he found her fair game.

Reminds me of The Hills situation between Brody, Kristin, and Jayde. Kristin and Brody were friends who started talking about possibly getting together. They hung out a few times, innocently it seems. Brody was dating Jayde who approached them in a club and things got physical between her and Kristin. Brody said something I found to be true..."There is a lot of drama around here and nobody is even married."

What I also found to be true is that men, no matter how dedicated they are to their girlfriends, always have in mind a woman he'd consider getting with if things with his girl didn't work out. Women aren't as likely to do the same. This guy's wife, however, did--and she left what she considered to be a dead end relationship to get with the guy who wanted her more. It seems like society doesn't allow men to do the same.

 

[aribell]

I think that women are the ones who talk about and judge these types of situations, so there's a lot of projection of fear and anger toward any woman that might come between her and her man. I don't see or hear men laying blame and sussing out guilt in situations like this.