I want to go natural BUT !!!!!! HELP PLease

[phive34]

I'm trying to transition, I'm only 11 wks in but...... I have the type of hair peolpe want but I can't deal with. I'm a 4b thick long coarse and hell to deal with. At first i was doing braid outs and twista out worked great, but now my hair won't do anything it's driving me crazy. As we speak (type) I'm sitting at work with my hair wet and pinned up because there is nothing I can do. I'm really needed some advice bad before I just go back to the relaxer which irriatates my scalp. Plus I look at all the natural hair on this forum, how curly and beatiful it is I don't think my natural hair will be as pretty

 

[danigurl18]

Why don't you try braids or cornrows???.. I transitioned 10 months that way before I did the BC... HTH!! Everyone's natural hair is beautiful!!! Do a search and there are alot of 4b naturals on here with beautiful thick waist length hair!!! You can do it... just hang on!!

 

[LongHairDreams]

If you haven't seen it, here is the link to the transitioners support thread http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=56005

 

[Mook's hair]

I am also thick 4a/b Transitioning.
Girl, I'm 65 weeks into this.

If I can do it, so can you. That is...if you really want to.

I can offer you some albums to look in for ideas & inspiration.


Are you good with your own hair or does someone else usually do it for you?

 

[phive34]

Thanks so much for the encouragement I really want to get rid of the relaxer because the reaction isn't worth it. I have tried cornrows but they last 4 days before i have a baby fro with braids. And Yes i wrap my hair at night. I'm thinking about getting kinky twist b/c I think its better than micros????

 

[phive34]

I am also thick 4a/b Transitioning.
Girl, I'm 65 weeks into this.

If I can do it, so can you. That is...if you really want to.

I can offer you some albums to look in for ideas & inspiration.


Are you good with your own hair or does someone else usually do it for you?

65 wks your hair is gorgeus.

 

[1QTPie]

First,

Curls do not equal pretty.

Second,

If you don't love your hair just they way it is, you will always be unhappy.

Third,

Take the transitioners advice.

 

[Southernbella.]

I think you have to be honest and ask yourself what you are looking for.

Are you looking for uniform ringlets and waves? Natural 4B hair won't look like that, so you would be disappointed. Natural 4b hair is beautiful, but if you don't think it's beautiful, it's better to admit that now before you cut all of your hair off.

If you still want to transition without having to deal with the two textures, braids and kinky twists are great options. I flat ironed throughout my transition with no problems, so I think that's another good option if you are vigilant with your deep conditioning and heat protectant.

 

[phive34]

First,

Curls do not equal pretty.

Second,

If you don't love your hair just they way it is, you will always be unhappy.

Third,

Take the transitioners advice.

True. I know curls don't equal pretty. I like my bushy hair. It's just I can't do any thing with it and everytime I go to my stylist she combs it too hard.....which lead to me trying to do it myself. I just never was able to do my owns hair. I always went to a sylist. My hair is BSL so I ponytail it when I have nothing to do with it. I've cowashed braided out twisted out but my ng is unruly. I think my best best is kinky twists

 

[phive34]

quote=lauren450;5083705]I think you have to be honest and ask yourself what you are looking for.

Are you looking for uniform ringlets and waves? Natural 4B hair won't look like that, so you would be disappointed. Natural 4b hair is beautiful, but if you don't think it's beautiful, it's better to admit that now before you cut all of your hair off.

If you still want to transition without having to deal with the two textures, braids and kinky twists are great options. I flat ironed throughout my transition with no problems, so I think that's another good option if you are vigilant with your deep conditioning and heat protectant.[/quote]






Thanks for the advice. I have to get rid of this relaxer b/c my scalp can't take it. I'm going for protective styles. I have a chi and used it twice but I'm not good at doing MYhair yet I can do everyone elses. My stylist bought it for me she's so thoughtful.( even though she haevy handed) I forgot I had it I'll call her to set up lesson right now

 

[Bigghair]

You might need to start experimenting with products to see what your hair likes too. Try doing styles like twistouts and braidouts that really don't matter if your hair looks bushy. When it is fully natural it will be bushy anyway, so why not get used to it. I work cornrowed extensions and a "puff" during the last part of my transition. Have you tried roller sets or straw sets? I hope you make the right decision that will make you happy.

 

[Pheonixx]

^^^
Your hair is gorgeous!

@ OP...Hey girl...I understand believe me. I'd say the biggest challenge for me are styling options and products(detanglers). But I've found that our hair can be extremely versatile, y'know?

I haven't been transitioning for that long (20-21 weeks). I've had some dark moments: Involving a lotta self-talk and at least 2 'relaxer interventions' (lol)
They had to pry it out of my hands...
But--it's actually going rather well right now.
I'm stuck in Braid-Out Land also. I do a 'pin-curl braid-out' and form it into a loose frenchroll. But I don't pick the waves/curls out. It's cute--and I receive compliments...which makes me feel better. I can flat-iron and silk the hell out of some 'wraps'--but natural hair? It's a whole 'notha territory.
I almost feel like a small child sometimes because I'm re-learning how to care for my hair...

But that's how it will be I suppose.

It may help if you steer clear of relaxed heads for minute. Find some 'natural' head fotkis to look at y'know?
See what sort of products they use.
See how they style their hair...
We all need inspiration from time to time.

I've saved about 15 fotki member pages in my bookmarks.

 

[Pheonixx]

Oh yes--and I'm working with at least 2 different textures on my head as well. I understand not wanting to deal with all that craziness but personally I chose to not (mostly) transition in braid and weaves.

Because you'll still have to deal with your hair when you take them out. It's better to grow in knowledge with your hair. Learn as you grow. Figure out how to deal with it now. How to style it...as opposed to 3-6 months down the line. Then you take it all down and look at your hair with a puzzled look like, "Ok...what do I do with all this..."

(lol)

But that's just me, of course and I'll be transitioning for a very long time. So whatever works for you, y'know?


You mention hard hair. Well, cowashing helps to soften the hair(well for me anyway). You could try that. I cowash every- every other day.
Elucence is good moisturizing conditioner (from, naturallycurly.com). Doubles as a leave-in too.

...and as far as working with the Chi? 'Silkening' is an artform (lol). Just playing. You'll get it.

Here's what I do (basically):
-Wash hair.
-Apply a bit of moisturizer and leave-in.
-Take small sections of hair.
-Apply a bit of Heat Protectant.
-Comb to remove tangles.
-Pull the hair taut.
-Run through with iron.

 

[belledame]

I think getting the Kinky twist are the best way to go, I had them on from February through July. Prior to that my new growth felt harsh and horrible (just like a brillo pad), and I couldn't do anything with it unless I used a relaxer. While I had the twist in, I would moisturize every other day with a mixture of Moska oil, Carol's Daughter Khoret Amen Hair Oil, and doctor miracle's growth oil (don't ask why...I don't know). I would refresh my twists every two months, and diligently apply temple balm. When I finally took them out for the summer, not only was my hair extremely soft (no more brillo) but it grew from barely touching my neck to past my shoulders.

The kinky twist were very easy to remove, which means less tangles, and as I removed them I would detangle each twist, and brush them out to remove any debris that would cause it to tangle. Washed it and detangled it with a good conditioner, and it was b-u-ti-full. I plan on doing the same thing again in September.

 

[Chromia]

I've saved about 15 fotki member pages in my bookmarks.

This is what I've done. I've bookmarked a lot of fotkis and I read as many threads as I can to get ideas and info. about transitioning.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I'm trying to transition, I'm only 11 wks in but...... I have the type of hair peolpe want but I can't deal with. I'm a 4b thick long coarse and hell to deal with. At first i was doing braid outs and twista out worked great, but now my hair won't do anything it's driving me crazy. As we speak (type) I'm sitting at work with my hair wet and pinned up because there is nothing I can do. I'm really needed some advice bad before I just go back to the relaxer which irriatates my scalp. Plus I look at all the natural hair on this forum, how curly and beatiful it is I don't think my natural hair will be as pretty

Phive, please check out the book GOING NATURAL by Mireille-A-Kong{hard to find at library so I bought it.} The book is simple, straight forward and a handy guide for you..full of different natural styles, styling photos and advice...the LHCF TRANSISITIONERS threads are also chock full of info.

 

[Ms Lala]

Girl I understand. I have thick 4a/b hair. It has some curl to it but it doesn't really clump so I have learned to work w/it and does the styles my hair likes to do. You will be really frustrated if you try to make your hair curl if it's not designed to do that. You still have lots of options.
THis ladies site has beautiful styles http://going-natural.com/
I transitioned in braids because it was the easiest and cut my hair after I had about 3 inches.

 

[phive34]

:blowkiss:Ladies thank you so much for the advice. Yesterday was one of my weak moments. I cowash my hair again last night and at first i was like with my ng trying to lay it down. Then I remember what my stylist ( who specalizes in going natural) said Stop stop stop just let your hair be. So i had my mom (yes I said my mom, I'm 26 and still calling her begging her to braid my hair) to do some 2 stranded twist to my scalp (loose of course) and today my hair has given me hope again. Just to fight the urge I donate my tub of relaxer to my cousin, who proceeded to explain how I'm not getting my Mizani back while writing her name on it with a black sharpie. Needless to say I want be getting that back, so I guess she's helping......IDK

 

[NannDee]

While I had the twist in, I would moisturize every other day with a mixture of Moska oil, it with a good conditioner, and it was b-u-ti-full. I plan on doing the same thing again in September.

I have a friend who is looking to purchase Moska Oil locally in Baltimore, MD. most of the search engines advised buying from a Dominican Beauty Supply Store. Can anyone suggest which stores may carry it.

 

[drjo91]

I suggest you get cornrows, perhasp a weave, kinky twist or something that will hide your hair until you are ready to the BC. I used to do buns and it was hell because i couldn't do anything else. I understand your pain and struggle, i thought i was going to transition until i had enough hair to do a pony tail but i couldn't take it anymore.

 

[MCMLXXII]

Transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair isn't easy and personally I'm not a fan of long transitions. Nonetheless, this is a journey that requires a paradigm shift. You have to change the way you think about and view your hair.

When I BC'd in Dec 2004, I immediately got braids. Awhile later, I wore two-strand twists (and loved 'em). Today, I'm rocking an afro and while this look may not be for everyone, I completely love my hair. Next to buying a house, going natural has been one of the smartest things I've ever done.

Although I've been natural for a few years, I'm still discovering what works well for my hair and what doesn't. I'm sure you'll have the same experience - it's organic. Best wishes and (please) give your natural hair a chance to thrive and "do what it do!"

Hugs.