I want to cry right now (vent)!!!!!!!!!!

[cutiebe2]

I have seen many post on this board from many women who have had emotional hair moments and today I had mine. I am a Senior in high school. I am doing the CAG method and when I take out my braids it can get akward (especially since my school is 97% white). The only thing that keeps me going is that every time I take down my braids I see how much my hair is growing. My hair is at an akward length (neck) so I but it in a pony tail but its not a cute one, plus I am not natural..

Anyway.....So we had a school production today and some alumnai came to see it. I was not in it but I was sitting in the dinning hall (by the way I go to boarding school which makes everything worse!!) and a black alumnai from ten years ago who I have met at some other events came to talk to me and my friends. We all start walking to the theater when he turns to me and says:
"Last time I saw you, you had braids. Whats going on here? Do you need me to donate some money for you so you can do 'your thing'? I like to see sistahs loking nice" I laughed him off and said thats okay and then avaioded him for the rest of the night. If I was a girl who wasn't trying to grow her hair, or was a fragile freshman, that would of hurt me so badly. Hell, it still hurts but ill show him when I see him a year from mow and I have APL hair

the other thing that hurt me is that I called my mother, and during the end of our convo I told her what happened with this guy. Her response was "Well cutiebe, make sure you keep you hair looking decent" decent is her way of saying straighten it or somthing because I hate seeing your natural hair because it reminds me that you're BLACK!! uggggg. Why is she to talk? I never throw it in my mothers face that she is bald in the front of her head because when perm ruined her hair, she got weave for 20 years, giving her trauma alopecia or whatever its called. Now she wears wigs but sometimes she will go out in public without on so that her hair can get air and grow. Is that decent???? uggg

please tell me I am doing the right thing. I do not want to straigthen my hair. I want to wait until Prom and tell everyone will be shocked with my (hopefully) shoulder length hair. This is so hard but I rather feel akward now at a school where I don't like anyone, then in college when I am trin ta meet boy (conceded, I know, but I have been in this all white school for 4 years and I cannot wait to get to college and meet more brothas than we got here)
thanks for listening to my long post.

 

[camellia]

People can be thoughtless and cruel, even our relatives.

Don't pay them any mind. You know that your hair is growing and you said yourself that you like to see your growth each time you take out your braids, let that be your motivation.

You don't have to "give in" and straighten your hair if you don't want. I'm sure you'll look beautiful with your "new" longer hair at prom.

 

[darkempress]

TRY HARD NOT TO LET THE LITTLE THINGS, SUCH AS PEOPLE'S PEST LIKE COMMENTS GET TO YOU. ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE HARD TO IGNORE NEGATIVITY SOMETIMES, JUST USE THAT AS YOUR MOTIVATION TO REACHING YOUR GOAL. WHEN YOU KNOW SOMETIMES THAT SOMEONE IS LOOKING FOR YOU TO FAIL, WORK HARDER TO PROVE THEM WRONG.
AND AS FOR YOUR MOM, IN TIME SHE'LL SEE YOUR GREAT RESULTS, AND YOU'LL BE ABLE TO PROVE HER AND ANYONE ELSE WRONG. JUST REMEMBER TO REMAIN PATIENT AND CONSISTENT AND YOU'LL SEE RESULTS

 

[LuvLiLocks]

Wow Cutiebe2, That guy was very rude and out of line! I would have been offended in the worst way. But I say just brush the dirt off ya shoulder and show everyone better than you can tell them when your reach your hair goals, and you WILL definitely reach them.

 

[vickyd]

Keep your chin up. Just as the caterpillar has to go through the cocoon stage before it becomes the butterfly - we all have transitions that we must make. Right now yours is dealing with a hair issue, but it could really be anything in life. Just keep your eyes on the goal and you will make it. HTH

vickyd

 

[Treasure2k6]

Keep your head up. Like you said, when you get to APL let's see who has something to say then.

 

[*Happily Me*]

stay on course!

beside, you can always jazz up your ponytail with a cute, inexpensive headband, or decorative clip.

 

[Mortons]

I'm sorry dear, I hate it when people are thoughtless. You have to remember that most of Black America is ignorant about hair care and think that fried, dyed, and laid to the side is what alllll Black womens hair should look like. They totally disregard hair health and dont think about the future. Ignore them, and keep doing your thing, because you know that keeping you hair 'done' is less important than KEEPING your hair.

 

[prettypuff1]

that alumnae was a jerk for saying that to you... What business is it of his what your hair looks like. I know what it is like to feel like the ugly duckling of the group, but you know what you are doing is best for you hair so that you can reach your goals... I am too brash and would have told him to mind his business( dont mind me lol ) Just keep ya head up and know it is worth it now. Just think of how stupid he will look with your BSL hair next year( girl claim your increase)

 

[motherx2esq]

It's okay darling! People are just uninformed. Having your hair done to too many people means being fired and dyed! But as you said when they see the end result, that apl, they will feel really stupid! So keep your head up and know that you are not alone. We know that your hair is lovely and will be healthy! Now if this is really bothering you as it has me some times, buy a nice wig or a fall. But I say rock you neck length with pride!

 

[cutiebe2]

Thank you so much everybody!!! Your guys made me feel better. It soo hard to be at this school (high school in general) when beauty is everything. Yes, that alumnai was soo out of line... but thats not the first time he has gotten on my nerves. I think the thing that really annoys me is that I know people probably think things about me and my hair. I do the same to other people. To have it said out loud is a whole other story.
okay, I just finished DC'ing my hair which alway makes me feel better.

 

[seraphinelle]

((((HUG))))

Girl don't sweat it, you know that when you finish stretching, it's gonna be some thick set of hair.

High school can be so cruel, let alone a predom white one.

To add, some people don't even change that mentatilty when they get older, ie. te alumni.

 

[locabouthair]

girl I completely understand where you are coming from. I have heard many hurtful things about my hair. I've been told that I need a weave, that little girls have more hair than I do, and I've had friends just come up to me and ask me what happened to your hair, when is it going to grow back. I got teased soooooo much and I cried a lot. I dont understand how someone can say things like that to people. Use these people as your motivators. Don't give up. I'm not natural but I have damaged hair and I have a long way to go. My best friend told me to get a weave and accept that it's a black girl's reality and I won't. Please don't give up we are in this together. Pm me if you need to talk.

 

[MochaSilk]

Thank you so much everybody!!! Your guys made me feel better. It soo hard to be at this school (high school in general) when beauty is everything. Yes, that alumnai was soo out of line... but thats not the first time he has gotten on my nerves. I think the thing that really annoys me is that I know people probably think things about me and my hair. I do the same to other people. To have it said out loud is a whole other story.
okay, I just finished DC'ing my hair which alway makes me feel better.

I'm so happy to see you're feeling better!

One thing I learned early in life... it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't world that continues into adult life, so do what's best for you.

In my predom-white high school, the few AA's there teased me for being in JROTC & "talking white". The beckys had a problem with me being on dance team. The guys in JROTC had a problem with me being rifle team commander. AND the teachers had a problem with me asking questions they didn't have the answers to. NONE of these people had any significance on who I became or my bank account and I knew that.

It wasn't always easy to be "me", but if I changed to make someone else more comfortable, I would've done it for the rest of my life. I'm actually thankful those people were sent my way to make me the strong person I am today.

Don't misconstrue that as me being bitter, for I'm not in the least. I just learned that no matter what you do, someone will always have something to say about it, whether it's to your face or behind your back. So keep doing what you're doing, you've got your goals already set. I read someone's signature tonite that said, "You only see obstacles when you take your eye off the goal." Very nice reminder.

Can't wait to see the prom pics!!!

 

[healthyhairin07]

Sorry to hear about what happened to you. That guy was clearly out of line. I've gone through the same thing with my husband. He knows now that he can't make any comments like that about my hair when I wear it natural. I think you're on the right track by not getting it "done" until prom. If you want to keep your hair completely in it's natural state, just make sure that you get an understanding with your hairstylist and choose someone who cares about keeping your hair natural and knows how to press it without making some parts permanently straight.

Also, remember that right now is so temporary. Everyone will be asking you how did you get your hair to be so long and healthy. I definitely would like to hear how prom goes.

 

[so1913]

He was out of line! Try to turn the negativefrom others into motivation to keep you working towards your goal. When I FIRST went completely natural, it was an akward stage for me because I didn't know what to do. I had some VERY akward moments....I stopped getting compliments on my hair, my Mom would make comments. I refused to let other peoples opinions stir me out of the right direction. I had a vision and goal for myself and wanted to meet it. That was 4 years ago, I stuck it out dispite any bit of negativity and here I am now You got this! Stay on it!

You

 

[JewelleNY]

Hey CutieB, when you feeling down just check out the fotkis here and see the progress ladies have made. I have yet to post my starting point but it was pretty pitiful I have come a long way and you will too! Soon other chicks will be rocking your ponytail when they see your great results (trust me, I know form experience )

Good luck and HHG