I Want to Ask Her to Dinner

[Supergirl]

My hubby's BFF and his wife are having trouble. They have only been married for 2 years and they are wonderful, Christian people. I am so unhappy to see them going through these things and seemingly dissolving their marriage. They are both being stubborn about some issues. There is no infidelity or abuse, thank God. She asked him to leave last week and so he packed up and left. (and told her he wasn't coming back)

My hubby has been talking to him. I want to talk to her. I want to tell her to fight for her marriage and that their separation and whatever else could result is NOT an option. I guess the thing that makes me hesitant is that she and I know each other only through our husband's really. We aren't close. I think she's great and told myself that I wanted to get to know her better. I figured I'd have time to do that with her being his wife and all.

I just want to help her, but I don't want her to feel like "Hey, I don't even know you like that so why are we discussing my marital issues."

What should I do?

 

[BeautifulFlower]

She may really need a friend right now.

I say go for it. Just make it seem really casual and like you just wanna to hang out with a girlfriend, ya know? It may lead to a wonderful friendship.

 

[PinkPebbles]

She may really need a friend right now.

I say go for it. Just make it seem really casual and like you just wanna to hang out with a girlfriend, ya know? It may lead to a wonderful friendship.

I totally agree.

Supergirl, I think you should reach out to her.

A lot of us women say things out of anger to our (spouse, significant other) that we really don't mean. And pride plays a part of not wanting to apologize and reconcile.

 

[Shimmie]

My hubby's BFF and his wife are having trouble. They have only been married for 2 years and they are wonderful, Christian people. I am so unhappy to see them going through these things and seemingly dissolving their marriage. They are both being stubborn about some issues. There is no infidelity or abuse, thank God. She asked him to leave last week and so he packed up and left. (and told her he wasn't coming back)

My hubby has been talking to him. I want to talk to her.

I want to tell her to fight for her marriage and that their separation and whatever else could result is NOT an option.

I guess the thing that makes me hesitant is that she and I know each other only through our husband's really. We aren't close.

I think she's great and told myself that I wanted to get to know her better. I figured I'd have time to do that with her being his wife and all.

I just want to help her, but I don't want her to feel like "Hey, I don't even know you like that so why are we discussing my marital issues."

What should I do?

In answer to your question:

Prayer for Guidance by way of the Holy Spirit

and then

Everything that I've bolded and highlighted in dark red.

God will show you how to get through to her.

She and her husband will also thank you for it.

 

[Laela]

Hi, Super,

I'd tread lightly here... I agree with Shimmie about first praying about this. I think the challenge would be her questioning your motives, even though your heart is in the right place. Only God knows how she'd react to you reaching out.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

My hubby's BFF and his wife are having trouble. They have only been married for 2 years and they are wonderful, Christian people. I am so unhappy to see them going through these things and seemingly dissolving their marriage. They are both being stubborn about some issues. There is no infidelity or abuse, thank God. She asked him to leave last week and so he packed up and left. (and told her he wasn't coming back)

My hubby has been talking to him. I want to talk to her. I want to tell her to fight for her marriage and that their separation and whatever else could result is NOT an option. I guess the thing that makes me hesitant is that she and I know each other only through our husband's really. We aren't close. I think she's great and told myself that I wanted to get to know her better. I figured I'd have time to do that with her being his wife and all.

I just want to help her, but I don't want her to feel like "Hey, I don't even know you like that so why are we discussing my marital issues."

What should I do?

Maybe she could talk to her pastor about it? Maybe there's someone you could suggest ...perhaps somebody you or a close friend sought the help of? You're right, she may not be receptive at all.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I agree with everyone that she may not be receptive. However, why not give it a try at least? We can not always stay silent because we fear someone wont receive us. If she doesnt then you know she's not ready. But what if she is super grateful and really in need of a friend? What if she wants to reach out to someone but doesnt know who to go to or who to trust?

Its not always easy to go to the pastor. When I have problem, going to my pastor is not at the top of my list honestly. I say pray about what to say and then say it.

Maybe I am a bit of a risk taker.

 

[Itllbeokbaby]

please approach with much prayer, and humility. in your living space, sit lower, or on the floor when talking to her - seriously - i use this approach with my husband sometimes. it helps with women too. if they have problems with stubbornness, then she might not let you approach her with your "help". she may become instantly offended.
pray, pray, and pray w/o ceasing.
i'll pray for you - marriages need to be fought for.

 

[Minty]

Hey ladies, perhaps I can make a suggestion?

If you and your husband have become confidant's to this couple, the two of you can "represent" the couple. "And when you fear a separation between the two appoint a representative from both sides" this verse is from the Quran, and it is very effective and in line with what you are attempting to accomplish.

Instead of telling the woman to fight for her marriage, perhaps you should listen to her grievances - discover what the issues are; and have your husband do the same for the gentleman. Once it is laid out, then you and your husband can discuss these issues and attempt to lay out a plan that both parties can agree to and come back together as a married couple. My only suggestion here is that you be careful in listening to what she has to say, in not taking sides and not allowing her to expose his sins or any personal business that may embarrass him.

I do hope this helps and I hope for you all the best.

 

[Supergirl]

Y'all, what does it mean when someone puts G'd instead of God. I've recently noticed that she is using G'd instead of God on her FB updates. I thought I'd heard that other faiths (not Christians) do this.

 

[Itllbeokbaby]

Hey ladies, perhaps I can make a suggestion?

If you and your husband have become confidant's to this couple, the two of you can "represent" the couple. "And when you fear a separation between the two appoint a representative from both sides" this verse is from the Quran, and it is very effective and in line with what you are attempting to accomplish.

Instead of telling the woman to fight for her marriage, perhaps you should listen to her grievances - discover what the issues are; and have your husband do the same for the gentleman. Once it is laid out, then you and your husband can discuss these issues and attempt to lay out a plan that both parties can agree to and come back together as a married couple. My only suggestion here is that you be careful in listening to what she has to say, in not taking sides and not allowing her to expose his sins or any personal business that may embarrass him.

I do hope this helps and I hope for you all the best.

perhaps i should have written more.... i wish for the couple to fight for their own marriage... and i assumed the op would listen and try to be there for the lady.
thank you for your addition... i should have put all my thoughts in my post.