I wanna be free!

[Sounique]

It all started when I was 7 or 8 years old and my Mom to me to my Aunt's house (kitchen beautician) and allowed her to give me a jherri curl.
Prior to that, I had been made to feel that my hair was thick, nappy and unmanageable. My hair was always just shoulder length, until the dreaded "curl".

So I was forced to run around looking like Rick James, until the summer before I entered high school and I begged my Mom to let me get a relaxer. (I wanted anything but that stupid curl). I was warned that my hair would fall out if I went from a perm to a relaxer, but I didn't care. That CURL had to go....

After my aunt (yes the same one) gave me a relaxer, my life changed forever. For the first time my hair flowed down my back and I loved it! I guess I was about bsl, but to me it was down to my a**! I was on top of the world.

Well that lasted all of the better part of 9th grade. By the following summer all my hair had broken off and I had to get it cut of to ear length! I was devastated!

I wore weaves for most of high school, because I had no idea how to take care of my hair and I used the hot curlers everyday. Yes, everyday! It was a hot mess!

So on to adulthood, same abuse, same story. Whenever I tried to grow my hair out it would just break off at shoulder length. I thought my hair couldn't grow

So 4 years ago when I decided to go blonde for the 10th time, I fried my hair and had to cut if off to less than an inch long. It was horrible. I wore a wig for about 4 months. I decided then that I would learn to care for my hair and grow it past sl.

That's when I discovered lhcf after stumbling onto Macheriamour's youtube page. Thank GOD! I learned a lot from the ladies here and my hair is thriving! ( although I had a set back last year and cut a 3 inch plug out of my hair and had to gradually cut my hair to even it out) but that's another story. I've been at APL for over a year now....

I stretch my relaxers for 6 months or more and each time I do relax I feel regretful... I don't like the way straight hair feels anymore. I love feeling texture. I love braidouts, and twist and huge buns and big hair especially.

I want this relaxed ends to be gone, but here's my dilemma, I don't want to bc and I'm afraid I won't know how to care for my hair in it's natural state. I have no idea what products to use and what my hair type even is. The truth is I really don't care! I've seen both 3 types and 4 types in their natural states and I'm willing to roll with any of them, they are all beautiful to me. Seriously! I love natural hair, but dealing with new growth and relaxed ends becomes hell around month 7 and I'm forced to relax. I feel like a slave to the relaxer I want to be free!!!

Can someone please point me in the right direction or give me some ideas on how I can go natural without necessarily chopping all of my hair off?

Thanks and sorry so long!

 

[darlingdiva]

You don't have to BC. Many ladies transition for years; they just cut off a little bit of hair at a time. Listed below are the links to two thread that might be helpful for you:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=462862
The Newly Natural Thread
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=462862
The 2010 Transitioners’Support Thread

 

[ceebee3]

Why don't you try to weave it up around the same time you feel that you want to relax?

That way you could stretch your relaxer a little longer and continue your transition.

 

[JustSimplyTish]

I agree...Just transition and snip a bit to retain your length.....when a inch grows snip a inch and keep going until you have a full head of natural hair....

I am sure you will make the best decision for you...I wish you luck with whatever choice you decide on

There is a great Transition support thread here on the forum

 

[Sounique]

Thanks ladies for the support and the threads, I'm going to check em out and I don't know why I didn't think about just cutting it little by little, but it seems like that would take forever....

 

[godsflowerrr]

I transitioned for 5 months before I did my BC. Be sure to keep your new growth well moisturized to prevent some of the breakage that you may experience. I also suggest wearing curly / textured styles that will blend the two textures a little more. Braid outs/ rod sets and straw sets work very well for transitioners. I also wore a lot of ponytails. I would moisturize my new growth very well then sleep with a satin scarf. My hair would be very smooth in the morning....my edges almost looked like a fresh relaxer after I removed the scarf.

 

[Nonie]

I know very little about transitioning when wearing your hair out (I transitioned in braids snipping a little at a time, which was made easier by the fact that I do my own braids so I could undo one and snip and keep going till all braid sections were trimmed and redone), but I do know that people have had great success managing their new growth and keeping it soft using S Curl spray. So maybe that's one way you can make peace with the juice you divorced way back when you relaxed your hair. Time to rekindle the love. oke:

 

[Sounique]

Nonie I had to lol when you said "maybe I should make peace with the juice", but you do have a point.

And yeah godsflowerrr, it seems that the only style I can wear is a bun, because when I do any type of curly style, it only lasts a day.
I don't know how sylver2 does it. I wish I could get my braid-outs and rodsets to last a week, let alone 2 weeks. erplexed

I tried a twist out yesterday and of course I woke up to a hot mess this morning, so back to the bun.

 

[LilMissRed]

Congrats on ur decision to transition I transitioned for roughly 14 mos wearing a full sew in and I never did the big chop. The 2 textures is CRAZY to deal with, but dont be afraid to experiment w/things to soften ur NG ( as u know ALOT of the ladies swear by the juice LOL I'm no exception, except I dont use the CareFree, I use distilled water/glycerin (which is also in the Carefree curl moisturizer).. THATS the 1st lesson I learned I say as long as u take care of ur NG and do occassional 'trims' u'll be ok

Good Luck to u

 

[HappilyLiberal]

Thanks ladies for the support and the threads, I'm going to check em out and I don't know why I didn't think about just cutting it little by little, but it seems like that would take forever....

Also look at the "inspired by Sylver2" thread. It's a long-term stretch thread and a few of the women on there start transitioning when they get to the latter parts of their stretches. In some respects long-term stretchers and transitioners are dealing with the same issues.

 

[dede1129]

Hey I am transitioning and I am currently 6 months into my transition and I am doing half wigs at the moment and they are working great. Try doing a curly or wavy one to blend in with your hair and continue to do your trims. I am doing another trim tonight. I am just doing little by little hoping to be all natural in a year. Good Luck!

 

[Tiye]

Thanks ladies for the support and the threads, I'm going to check em out and I don't know why I didn't think about just cutting it little by little, but it seems like that would take forever....

Well forever comes faster than you think. e.g. Anyone who's 30+ now is probably thinking "wth did the past ten years go??" Just take your time and cut away as much as you're comfortable with until the permed ends are gone. The plus side to taking the slow route is you'll have a longer fro when you're done.

 

[hairmaster]

What is you hair type , what kind of relaxer do you use, have you tried a gentler one.

 

[Sounique]

What is you hair type , what kind of relaxer do you use, have you tried a gentler one.

I'm guessing that I'm probably a 4a? I won't be absolutely sure until after I'm completely natural.

My last relaxer was a mild Hawaiian Silk back in February.

I'm trying to break free from the relaxers, without doing the bc.

I started my hair journey back in 2007 after a big chop and I'm still just APL. Which is quite depressing. I accidentally chopped off a huge section of my hair in the back that set me back. Then I was wearing braid outs, that I LOVE, but my hair HATES (It breaks off if I wear them too long).

I just don't really like straight hair too much anymore. It's okay occasionally, but I prefer the big curly look.
Nothing against relaxed heads. Just my preference.

Right now I'm wearing a wet bun everyday, which is helping me retain all my length. Plus I love the feeling of wet hair. (Weird I know! )

 

[Janet']

Thanks for the update. Hang in there, I transitioned for about 2 years and your hair is longer than mine was when I transitioned. I agree about not knowing your hair type until much later down the line.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

i wish you luck. im sorta at the point you are now. some days i wanna transition and be natural, some days i love the familiarity of this relaxed hair.

 

[Prettyeyes]

I'm guessing that I'm probably a 4a? I won't be absolutely sure until after I'm completely natural.

My last relaxer was a mild Hawaiian Silk back in February.

I'm trying to break free from the relaxers, without doing the bc.

I started my hair journey back in 2007 after a big chop and I'm still just APL. Which is quite depressing. I accidentally chopped off a huge section of my hair in the back that set me back. Then I was wearing braid outs, that I LOVE, but my hair HATES (It breaks off if I wear them too long).

I just don't really like straight hair too much anymore. It's okay occasionally, but I prefer the big curly look.
Nothing against relaxed heads. Just my preference.

Right now I'm wearing a wet bun everyday, which is helping me retain all my length. Plus I love the feeling of wet hair. (Weird I know! )

BC! and be done. transitioning is very hard and takes much patience esp. when you have damaged hair and if you get frustrated. Just do it. I did after getting to full MBL. See my threads I am so happy now!

 

[Sounique]

I know...

Right now it's not that bad, but the last time I attempted to transition, I relaxed at 7 1/2 months because the 2 textures were fighting against one another and no sooner had I applied the relaxer, I was regretting it, so I knew right then that I needed to be natural. Especially since I found that I'm able to get my hair as straight with the flat irons as I can with a relaxer and since I only wear my hair straight occasionally, there was no need to relax.

I love the big hair, but I'm not sure I can carry the twa.erplexed It looks good on a lot of ladies, but that doesn't mean it will look good on me.

Almost once a week I stand in the mirror with the scissors, ready to just make the move and get it over with, but then I chicken out.

I only have like 2 inches of ng. I wouldn't know what to do with my hair at that length in it's natural state.

I know that eventually I will bc, but it will probably be around 6 or 7 months when I have a little more hair to work with.

 

[Bublin]

Well i have done both........BC and Transitioning -

A few years ago i shaved all my hair off. I was where you are now and i couldn't take my hair hair anymore.
Yes, it was liberating and i felt free and it suited me. The trouble for me is that i BC'd without any thought of what i was going to look like a few months down the line. I also did not take care of my hair properly - i co-washed to death because that was what i was 'supposed' to do but the co-washing (and leaving it as a wash and go style) was killing my hair. I have very fine strands and leaving it to airdry on its own was a disaster but i only realised this when it was too late - i think it was full of split ends.
I then decided to get it flat ironed and be a straight haired natural. Marcel irons were used and got bad heat damage after the first go.

So i relaxed and after a few years i was still wanting to be natural so this time i am transitioning for a LONG time. I do not want to go through the twa phase. Its not for me. My hair in my siggy pic's are 11 months into my transition. It hasn't been easy but i know i don't want very short afro hair. I'm also someone whom doesn't like to wear wigs, weaves or even braids.

So what i'm saying is, don't be too hasty with those scissors. REALLY REALLY think about it. You may just end up feeling worse than you are now.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

Do a long transition as others suggested. I'm doing one without wearing, wigs, weaves, or braids. It can be done. Do some research with the threads provided in this one. Good luck

 

[Austro-Afrikana]

You don't have to BC; I have been transitioning for over 2 years and I'm still not planning on chopping soon. Braids with extensions have helped me the most as the first site I stumbled across was www.growafrohairlong.com and in between braiding it has been buns.
At the start of my transition I used protein every couple of weeks (Affirm 5 in 1) and straightened every week to keep the same texture, but now that the majority of my hair is natural I never straighten and I focus more on moisture. Aubrey Organics are my staple conditioners; I also mix yogurt into my conditioners for a little protein.

 

[Moniquenuss]

Well I'm currently 14 months into my transition and I have no intention on bcing anytime soon. I was exactly where you were over a year ago! I originally wanted to stretch for 6 months then I pushed it to 8 then all of a sudden I fell in love and it got a whole lot easier! I found for me dcing 2x a week and cowashing 3x a week have saved me! I dc overnight and my hair loves it. Also the hs 14 in 1 have saved my ends!!! For the most part I wet bun or do flat twist and wear a twist out for a few days. The only down side of twist outs for me is the tangles. The longer my hair gets the more tangles I get, that's where the overnight dc comes in. Honestly it's going to be a trial and error phase that you will go through to see what your natural hair likes.

I wish you the best of luck on ur decision. And no matter what you choose there will be a bunch of ladies here waiting to support you!

 

[Prettyeyes]

If you hate your transition period, BC! If you are able to enjoy it and roll with it do a long transition. If you just want a little more length wait a few months. I do agree with all the others you don't have to do anything but if you want the freedom from the relaxer now you can have it. HHG!!!!

 

[**SaSSy**]

If you are not comfortable with doing a BC, then just do a long transition as the other ladies suggested. Many people use wigs, extensions, or weaves to transition until they are comfortable with cutting off the relaxed ends. I'm just bunning, braid outs, twists, and up-dos the entire time.

 

[Sounique]

You know...

One thing that I learned from my last transition is that those thin relaxed ends are not damaged hair.
I cut off about 3 inches last time, not realizing that my natural hair will make my relaxed hair appear thin and sickly... Set myself back.
I also cut a 2 inch plug off the back of my head and had to let the rest of my hair catch up
(You live and learn) I would probably already be bsl by now, but oh well, I'm good.

I don't do weaves and wigs myself so I've been bunning it for the most part. Every now and then I do a braid-out or rod set and LOVE LOVE LOVE them.

I was thinking about getting some cornrows and wear them for about month.
Are they outdated?

 

[nikolite]

I agree with what other people have already said. Long transition and play around with all the different styles. The second you feel an itch to relax again, weave it up, toss in some braids, or pull out the flat iron. But give yourself a chance to learn about your hair first before you make any decisions.

I transitioned for about 6 months before I BC'ed. But I had already had my hair cut into a really short bob, so I didn't care too much to get my hair any longer with relax ends since it was already short. I wore microbraids first (which ruined my hair), then kinky twists (which I loved! and decided to wear twice) then cornrows and ponytails slicked back with gel. Just do whatever and have fun with it and the time will come to you that you'll want to chop off those pesky relaxed ends that's keeping you from your cute puff/fro.