I think she's mad at me. Is this reasonable?
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hopeful
Well-Known Member
Yes, she is being reasonable. I think I would have responded in the same manner. Thursday night cancelled. Friday night cancelled. And then you expect her to leave her entire Saturday open? For what? To be disappointed again? It may be about not seeing the baby, but I think it's more about you not following through on your promises to a friend two times in a row. You really don't get why she would be frustrated with you?
faithVA
Well-Known Member
I agree with the previous poster. You were irritated with your SO about switching up the game and not being considerate and you turned around and pretty much did the same thing. Even if you couldn't make it Friday, did you call and text her to let her know you couldn't make it or did you just wait until Saturday? oops!
When you knew you were going to be late Friday which is probably when you left the house, the appropriate thing would have been to give her a heads up that things were already off schedule.
Yeah, I would have told you to keep it moving too. Even if I'm not doing anything on Saturday if you can't keep me informed I'm just going to keep watching tv.
When you knew you were going to be late Friday which is probably when you left the house, the appropriate thing would have been to give her a heads up that things were already off schedule.
Yeah, I would have told you to keep it moving too. Even if I'm not doing anything on Saturday if you can't keep me informed I'm just going to keep watching tv.
No offense, OP, but the math doesn’t add up in your favor:
- You made plans for Thursday
- You arbitrarily cancelled Thursday's plans and rescheduled for Friday
- You were a no-show on Friday
- You allowed your SO to drunkenly drive you both to an aunt’s house to crash
- You contacted the friend on Saturday with the expectation that she would be available all day for visiting purposes
- The friend responded politely that she would be otherwise engaged elsewhere (a huge hint)
- You left town without offering a “goodbye/I’m sorry things didn’t work out as planned” call or message of any kind
- You seem shocked that the friend and her mother are looking at you strangely
= you were a flaky, unreliable friend that wasted your godsister’s weekend by continually blowing her off
- You made plans for Thursday
- You arbitrarily cancelled Thursday's plans and rescheduled for Friday
- You were a no-show on Friday
- You allowed your SO to drunkenly drive you both to an aunt’s house to crash
- You contacted the friend on Saturday with the expectation that she would be available all day for visiting purposes
- The friend responded politely that she would be otherwise engaged elsewhere (a huge hint)
- You left town without offering a “goodbye/I’m sorry things didn’t work out as planned” call or message of any kind
- You seem shocked that the friend and her mother are looking at you strangely
= you were a flaky, unreliable friend that wasted your godsister’s weekend by continually blowing her off
On a MOTORCYLE, no less.................... Oh my, OP do you have a death wish or something?
I agree with everyone who has posted already.
ETA: Bet you didn't think you would received these type of responses. If she browses this forum, she knows you, you can't hide chica.
When you have a baby, you're on the baby's schedule. She most likely had to do some rearranging to acommodate you on Thursday, then more for Friday, and then you want her to be available all day Saturday too? I don't think so.
I give my friends a specific time to be at my house to see my son, when he is awake and alert. After that, he'll most likely be asleep and I would not wake him up to see a visitor.
It's really not about you seeing the baby, but about your lack of respect for her time. I wouldn't invite you to stay at my house again, but I'm funny about things like that.
I give my friends a specific time to be at my house to see my son, when he is awake and alert. After that, he'll most likely be asleep and I would not wake him up to see a visitor.
It's really not about you seeing the baby, but about your lack of respect for her time. I wouldn't invite you to stay at my house again, but I'm funny about things like that.
nappyeditor
Well-Known Member
Yeah, OP you were wrong in this case. She probably figured you blew her off so why would she wait around Saturday? She got your calls, I'm sure. She was just upset. It wasn't about you seeing the baby, like a previous poster said. It was about you canceling out. She was probably also excited to see you, and who knows what preparations she had made in advance of your trip.
It was also probably a chance for her to hang out with grown-up friends, as well. When I was on maternity leave, a friend/coworker came by to see the baby. I couldn't care less. I was just happy that a grown-up came over to talk to me and let me have a little while where I wasn't obsessed about my lack of sleep and breastfeeding issues.
It was also probably a chance for her to hang out with grown-up friends, as well. When I was on maternity leave, a friend/coworker came by to see the baby. I couldn't care less. I was just happy that a grown-up came over to talk to me and let me have a little while where I wasn't obsessed about my lack of sleep and breastfeeding issues.
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
erplexed I'm confused. Is she a member here? If so, do you think this is this really appropriate? 
I'd be pissed. If you're saying she is not a paying member and only browses areas that are open to non-paying members then I guess that's different. 
meesch
yeezytotme
i would prob be mad/irritated at you too. she offered to do you a favor (despite having a new baby in the house) and you kept changing the plans, was flaky, and ultimately blew her off (especially since it looks like you blew her off for a man). i would be side eyeing you too.
but she prob will get over it in a week or so.
but she prob will get over it in a week or so.
meesch
yeezytotme
im not saying you did, but if i were her i would probably think that way. (also you kinda did change the plans to accommodate your SO but whatev... i dont particularly think thats the issue) point is, you were a flake, and that's a huge no no for most people. i have written people off who flaked on me even once, friendship over. shes more than justified for being mad at you. i hope you said sorry. LOL
A few points:
- I meant arbitrary in the sense of a capriciously unimportant act, e.g., rescheduling things from Thursday to Friday so that your SO could watch a game. IMO, after he unexpectedly announced that he wanted to watch the game before departing, the response should have been “Either we go on Thursday as planned or we don’t go at all,” but that’s just me. Unless he had Play-Off tickets burning a hole in his pocket, that game was not critically important; especially since it was sprung on you at the last minute. That was error #1 and your friend paid the price for it (her response was probably an initial “WTH? GTFOH” followed by an immediate “OK, no problem. See you on Friday, Gurlie”). I believe this is what meesch meant when she said that you tossed her aside for a dude (and it does appear that way since everything went out of the window in favor of his unexpected, arbitrary game-watching plans).
- Since you used the word “tipsy,” I took that to mean buzzed, which suggests drunk in my eyes and in the eyes of the law.
- She probably intended to keep Saturday free to visit with you until she began to feel dismissed and cast aside, at which time she proceeded to get on with the business of keeping it moving.
- I understand your point re: traveling from three states away to visit her and the baby, now try to see things from her position - you came a long distance for a visit and wound up BLOWING HER OFF.
- As a parent, I do believe that you did waste her weekend to a degree. Notwithstanding the fact that she didn’t get off from work until 11pm, it would be naïve (and somewhat apathetic) to think that she did not engage in some discreet maneuvering to her schedule, the baby’s schedule and her mom’s schedule in order to accommodate your visit. The very fact that she was willing to entertain company after leaving work so late in the evening is very telling, IMO.
- It is mind boggling that you’re still trying to justify your actions and are attempting to lay some blame at the feet of your friend. How is she to blame? In your eyes, what did she do wrong? If I were you, I wouldn’t mention that particular tidbit to her right now because she might explode and say a few things that would cause a rift your relationship. IMO, you should take that one to the grave.
On an additional note, don’t be surprised if your friend distances herself from you just a bit and begins to treat you like the “flaky, unreliable friend” in the near future. At any rate, I hope that you both are able to effectively work things out and remain friends (just be a better friend to her next time
).
- I meant arbitrary in the sense of a capriciously unimportant act, e.g., rescheduling things from Thursday to Friday so that your SO could watch a game. IMO, after he unexpectedly announced that he wanted to watch the game before departing, the response should have been “Either we go on Thursday as planned or we don’t go at all,” but that’s just me. Unless he had Play-Off tickets burning a hole in his pocket, that game was not critically important; especially since it was sprung on you at the last minute. That was error #1 and your friend paid the price for it (her response was probably an initial “WTH? GTFOH” followed by an immediate “OK, no problem. See you on Friday, Gurlie”). I believe this is what meesch meant when she said that you tossed her aside for a dude (and it does appear that way since everything went out of the window in favor of his unexpected, arbitrary game-watching plans).
- Since you used the word “tipsy,” I took that to mean buzzed, which suggests drunk in my eyes and in the eyes of the law.
- She probably intended to keep Saturday free to visit with you until she began to feel dismissed and cast aside, at which time she proceeded to get on with the business of keeping it moving.
- I understand your point re: traveling from three states away to visit her and the baby, now try to see things from her position - you came a long distance for a visit and wound up BLOWING HER OFF.
- As a parent, I do believe that you did waste her weekend to a degree. Notwithstanding the fact that she didn’t get off from work until 11pm, it would be naïve (and somewhat apathetic) to think that she did not engage in some discreet maneuvering to her schedule, the baby’s schedule and her mom’s schedule in order to accommodate your visit. The very fact that she was willing to entertain company after leaving work so late in the evening is very telling, IMO.
- It is mind boggling that you’re still trying to justify your actions and are attempting to lay some blame at the feet of your friend. How is she to blame? In your eyes, what did she do wrong? If I were you, I wouldn’t mention that particular tidbit to her right now because she might explode and say a few things that would cause a rift your relationship. IMO, you should take that one to the grave.
On an additional note, don’t be surprised if your friend distances herself from you just a bit and begins to treat you like the “flaky, unreliable friend” in the near future. At any rate, I hope that you both are able to effectively work things out and remain friends (just be a better friend to her next time
).
