I think I'm off the transitioning wagon(long)

[GodMadeMePretty]

I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

Last night I started on my hair about 9 with a hot oil treatment (coconut, olive and jojoba oils) under a soft bonnet dryer. I shampooed that out with Elasta QP shampoo for relaxed hair. Then I deep conditioned (with heat) with homemade Cathy Howse conditioner with ion reconstructor, coconut oil, olive oil, jojoba, peppermint oil. Rinsed that out and deep conditioned with Humectress (I am not liking the feel of this for the price) with heat and rinsed that out.

Then I tried to detangle my hair in the shower. I haven't combed my hair through for about two weeks. Partly because my hair was feeling hard due to my inattentiveness to the salt in my water softener and partly because I never really comb through anyway. I just conditioner wash and fingercomb into a ponyball. Anyway, I've never had my relaxed ends tangle together like they were. I kept putting conditioner in it to try to work out the tangles and let the conditioner and the water stream work it out. It didn't help. When I realized that I would be taking a cold shower for about an hour, I decided to give it a rest.

OK, after all this conditioning, it's 12:15. I had decided to rollerset my hair like I've heard people do. It took me 3 hours

to detangle and rollerset my hair with twenty-four 2 1/2-inch rollers. Detangling was not even pretty. So anyway, I didn't have the luxury of waiting for my hair to airdry for hours because I had to be somewhere at 9:00 so at 3:15, I put the soft bonnet on and it just barely covered those huge rollers. (It also helped that I don't use the soft bonnet that came with the dryer because that thing would not have fit. I used a bonnet that attaches to a blow dryer with my soft bonnet). By 4:15, I was exhausted and couldn't stand it anymore so I went to sleep with the dryer on. But it got dry.

BUT my roots were still puffy and I tried to blow out the roots but my blowdryer doesn't have a comb (I'm going to have to buy one) so I gave that up and flat-ironed a few sections. My hair is so thick that I only flat-ironed the front and the very back because that's where I started flat-ironing when I realized that I just didn't have time to do my entire head since I woke up at 7:30 and had to leave the house by 8:30.

Anyway, I'm more encouraged that I was able to rollerset it and get the ends looking really good - my husband asked me if I was going to take pictures and this was before I flat-ironed it. But I want to see my length even though I'm wearing protective styles and I know I'm not going to take the time to press my hair. And my hair with a relaxer is affected by the humidity. Even with rollersetting it and then flat-ironing it, it takes more time than with the relaxer. And I just don't know if I'm up to dealing with my natural hair.

Maybe if I detangle every day, it won't be so bad, but man I am soooooo tired right now and a relaxer with less time for detangling is looking really good right now.

It's time for some zzzzs.

Maybe after I've gotten some rest, I'll be thinking more clearly.

ETA: I was very pleased with the small amount of hair that came out with the detangling considering my hair hadn't been combed through for about 2 weeks. I would estimate about 50-75 hairs.

 

[pookeylou]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

Transitioning definitely takes patience...

One of the first rules someone told me when I first began...saved me a lot of frustration:

If you have a big event to attend...and expect your natural hair to react and respond like permed hair does...you are setting yourself up for failure. My Natural hair and my permed hair seemed to require the same amount of time...just different techniques...Since natural hair is new for me...I had to retrain my thinking...

Will my waves lay flat...not likely...no matter how much gel I put in it...so I quit trying to fight it...and let it do what it naturally does.

If you really want to go natural...but are not ready to get rid of the permed ends...you may want to consider wearing your hair in styles closer to your natural texture...that way you wont face damaging your permed ends before you are ready to cut them...frustrating yourself to the point of insanity by trying to make your naturally coily hair lie down flat like the permed ends.

I dont know...I look at the pics of your daughters hair...that would be motivation enough to stick it out...her natural hair looks lush and delicious!!!

I also love your signature by the way...I agree with it wholeheartedly...it helps to remember that...the way God made you...your hair...is beautiful...

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

Your daughter is so pretty!!

Just wanted to make a comment on the Nexxus Humectress, try it without heat and see how you like the results. This conditioner tends to work differently for some.

 

[Crysdon]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

GodMadeMePretty,

I totally understand your frustration. When I was natural, I only wore straight styles...no twists, french braids, afros, etc., and if you're like me you will spend endless hours trying to get your roots and ends straight. The difference between you and me is that I cut off the relaxed ends and had 100% natural hair (try rollersetting that into a sleek style

). It used to take me a total of 4 hours to get my hair straight, and now that I'm texturized it only takes 2 hours. If you do decide to use a relaxer, I highly recommend a texturizer. You'll have lots of elasticity and you can wear a wash 'n go or straight styles without a lot of manipulation.

Whatever your decision, make sure you do what's comfortable for YOU.

 

[Guest]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

[ QUOTE ]
GodMadeMePretty said:
Partly because my hair was feeling hard due to my inattentiveness to the salt in my water softener and partly because I never really comb through anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's salt in a water softener? I thought a water softener was supposed to remove things like that....

 

[OnceUponAtime]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

GMMP, Have you tried to detangle with the Humectress? It can be left in as a leave-in, thus giving you an easier way to detangle. I've used Humectress for years now, and since trasitioning, I now find it's most effective as a leave-in. After applying a small amount through out wet or damp hair followed by either Surge revitalizer with olive oil or S-Curl, I'm good! I have a very thick head of hair, so detangling is a challenge, but I've been very successful with Humectress.

May I recommend something? Find a less expensive deep conditioner, then use just enough Humectress to cover your hair and try to detangle (it should amount to less than what you use to deep condition). You may need to spritz with a spray bottle of distilled water while working through you hair a section at a time to keep your hair from drying too quickly while combing.

Another suggestion could be to rinse your hair with a table spoon of ACV and about two cups of distilled water, while in the shower, then use Humectress as the leave in. The vinegar smell disappears quickly especially after the next product is added to your hair.

I hair your fustration, I tangle easily! HTH

 

[aqualung]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

[ QUOTE ]
GodMadeMePretty said:
It took me 3 hours

to detangle and rollerset my hair with twenty-four 2 1/2-inch rollers. Detangling was not even pretty... I was very pleased with the small amount of hair that came out with the detangling considering my hair hadn't been combed through for about 2 weeks. I would estimate about 50-75 hairs.

[/ QUOTE ]

GodMadeMePretty,

Your little kid is too cute! She should model.

What method did you use to detangle before rollersetting such that so little hair was shed? Was the hair damp or dry? What lubricating products were in it? Did you comb or use your fingers on the tangles?

My hair tangles easily too because it's fine and 4b. I underprocessed 10 weeks of new growth when I tried my first self-relaxer in December.

Lately I wash my hair with CON and spray in Sta-Sof-Fro before applying Razac's Polishing Gloss. There's enough greasy residue in there once it airdries that I can detangle with my fingers easily.

I'm quite done combing in the shower, as my tangled hair breaks most easily when wet.

 

[Topazz]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

Transitioning isn't easy and it takes a lot of patience to deal with two textures. Pookeylou has brought up some really good points. Your new growth isn't going to do what your relaxed hair does and your relaxed hair isn't going to do what your new growth does. You sort of have to do what works for both.
A few really good rich detangling conditioners that work for me are Pantene Hydrating Curls, Kenra Moisturizing or Elucence Moisture Balancing. Maybe you could give one of those a try if you change your mind and decide to keep transitioning. Another thing that worked for me while transitioning was using a heavier moisturizer on my new growth, the CD Healthy Hair Butter was wonderful for me during that time. Also when I would style my hair I didn't worry about getting the roots to lay down like the rest of my relaxed hair (it wasn't going to w/o a lot of heat) I just made sure it was moisturized and full and the relaxed ends I would just curl or flat iron. Another thing that also worked when I wore my hair down while transitioning was to put on a small black headband to pull back the very front a little bit and I would let my hair fall over the headband so you really couldn't see it and that helped.

I just wanted to offer some tips in hopes of helping you. I know how difficult it can be to transition. I wish you the best w/whatever you decide to do.

Topaz

 

[Nyambura]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

GMMP ~

My scalp hurt just reading your post! I'm sorry and I can fully understand your frustration.

In addition to the great advice already given in this thread, have you tried loosely braiding your hair into sections? When I was natural, that was how I detangled my hair before washing, how I washed and conditioned it, and how I kept it from severely tangling while working on only one section at a time. I got this tip from Lonnice Brittenum Bonner, in her first book, Good Hair : For Colored Girls Who've Considered Weaves When the Chemicals Became Too Ruff. It worked great and my scalp appreciated it too.

 

[Nyambura]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

Oh and I just wanted to add: your little girl is adorable!

 

[DragonPearl]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

IMO, if you have natural hair or if you are transitioning, you can't do your hair the way you do it when it's relaxed. That means,
1) if you are detangling your hair, you have to do it while your hair is soaked with conditioner, not after you have rinsed the conditioner out.
2) 1 deep conditioning is enough. Why does your hair need 2 deep conditioning treatments? That sounds a bit extreme to me. It's a lot of manipulation on hair that's transitioning.
3)Did you section your hair before attempting to detangle it? I ALWAYS section my hair in 4 and wash and detangle each section separately. It makes detangling way easier.

Don't give up just yet. You can do it!

 

[NGC]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

GMMP,

You've been given a lot of good advice on this thread.
The only thing I can add to it is maybe don't wait so long between detangling sessions. Maybe you can try to detangle (a serious detangle) once a week.

Regarding the rollersetting. It can be done and a rollerset on 4a/4b hair type can look nicer. Just and nice as any other straight style. It sometimes takes practice to get there (and patience).

Please feel free to pm me if you have any questions or feel a little down about your transitioning. Also know, do what makes you feel comfortable.

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

Re: I think I\'m off the transitioning wagon(long)

[ QUOTE ]
pookeylou said:

I dont know...I look at the pics of your daughters hair...that would be motivation enough to stick it out...her natural hair looks lush and delicious!!!



[/ QUOTE ]
Her hair is my inspiration. I love it. The avatar picture was a braidout with cornrows before I knew what I braidout was. The signature picture was a ponytail rollerset which my husband did.

[ QUOTE ]
Natori24 said:

There's salt in a water softener? I thought a water softener was supposed to remove things like that....

[/ QUOTE ]

The salt in the water softener is like a rock salt or pellets. The salt softens the water and removes the minerals. If you put regular salt in a glass of water, you will be able to tell the difference. How much salt you put in it to tell a difference will let you know just how “hard” your water is.

[ QUOTE ]
OnceUponAtime said:
GMMP, Have you tried to detangle with the Humectress? It can be left in as a leave-in, thus giving you an easier way to detangle.

[/ QUOTE ]
I have used it as a leave-in but not to detangle - just to put it in there. That stuff is expensive and this was my first time using it as a deep conditioner. I have some plain old cheap Tea Tree cholesterol. I just wanted to see if it performed like or better than Suave's version.

[ QUOTE ]
megonw said:

What method did you use to detangle before rollersetting such that so little hair was shed? Was the hair damp or dry? What lubricating products were in it? Did you comb or use your fingers on the tangles?


[/ QUOTE ]

I used a combination of my fingers and combing and extra moisturizing. First, I used my fingers to separate a small section (about ½ inch) and then used my fingers again to separate the strands in that section. Then I used a wide-toothed comb starting at the bottom and worked up. The new growth was actually easier to comb through than the relaxed ends even after I switched to the fine-toothed comb to “sleek” it before putting it on the roller. I spritzed my hair with plain old water to get it back to wet. Then I put in UBH moisturizer and that made it easier. It was just so time consuming because I really didn’t want to lose excess hair and so I took extra care to ensure that I didn’t.

[ QUOTE ]
Nyambura said:
GMMP ~

My scalp hurt just reading your post! I'm sorry and I can fully understand your frustration.

[/ QUOTE ] The funny thing is that it didn’t hurt my head. My arms hurt though.

[ QUOTE ]
In addition to the great advice already given in this thread, have you tried loosely braiding your hair into sections?

[/ QUOTE ] That is what I should have done. That’s how I do my daughter’s hair and that’s how I’ve done it previously. I don’t know what I was thinking. What I do know is that I will be combing the relaxed ends at least. That is where the tangles were. The new growth was easy to comb through.

[ QUOTE ]
Jessy55 said:
IMO, if you have natural hair or if you are transitioning, you can't do your hair the way you do it when it's relaxed. That means,
1) if you are detangling your hair, you have to do it while your hair is soaked with conditioner, not after you have rinsed the conditioner out.

[/ QUOTE ] That’s what I tried to do in the shower, but it wasn’t working. The relaxed ends were tangled. Not the new growth. I tried detangling the relaxed ends in the shower full of conditioner and it just wasn’t working. Then I combed through the new growth and got to the very end of the new growth and bam, the comb stopped.
[ QUOTE ]
2) 1 deep conditioning is enough. Why does your hair need 2 deep conditioning treatments? That sounds a bit extreme to me. It's a lot of manipulation on hair that's transitioning.

[/ QUOTE ] I wasn’t manipulating my hair except to put globs of conditioner on it for the treatments. And my hair simply needed a deep moisturizing treatment because of the hard water disaster and I wanted to also do a keratin protein treatment also.

[ QUOTE ]
Don't give up just yet. You can do it!

[/ QUOTE ] After sleeping on it, I haven’t given up quite yet. It will be at least another couple of weeks. One day at a time.

[ QUOTE ]
NGC said:
GMMP,

You've been given a lot of good advice on this thread.
The only thing I can add to it is maybe don't wait so long between detangling sessions. Maybe you can try to detangle (a serious detangle) once a week.

[/ QUOTE ] Speak the truth. This will never happen again.

[ QUOTE ]
Please feel free to pm me if you have any questions or feel a little down about your transitioning. Also know, do what makes you feel comfortable.

[/ QUOTE ] Thank you so much NGC.

And thanks for the compliments on my daughter. I tell her that she is gorgeous and pretty and beautiful every day trying to instill self-confidence. It seems to be working.