I see church as a distraction these days....

[PaperClip]

...being honest here....

You all know that I'm in school and I'm in an intensive time of writing and preparation for research. With that said, I have not been going to Sunday services so that I can stay home and study. Some Sunday mornings are more productive than others. Even right now, it's Sunday morning and I should be studying but I'm on LCHF (that's another story!)

So I've finally found the word "distraction" to articulate my current feelings about attending church. I now have several questions about what I used to think was "normal" or "acceptable". Let me be clear: I have NO PROBLEM with my church pastors. It's not them personally at all. I have no problem with tithing, prayer, benevolence, evangelism, the core functions of what the Kingdom of God is all about. It's the organized religion/institutional church thing. It's how the megachurch gets mocked, the scandals, the constant criticism. I recognize part of my questioning is coming from my intellect/schooling, etc.

Also, I have dealt with feelings of inadequacy because of marital status on occasion. It's like at my church, the epitome of success, nirvana is being married with children.

I do pray about this. Who can I talk to? What does help look like in this situation? What concerns me most is how I may be neglecting my spiritual calling/assignments in the church. Yes, I'm called to be an intercessor. I can pray at home. I don't want to miss God. I know He's called me to go to school....

I'm being very vulnerable here. Thank you in advance for careful and prayerful reading.

 

[1god1]

I think if you put God first, He will give you the desires of your heart, ie, good grades, mate, etc. I know when I take classes I have a problem with time management and I've stayed home from church a few times to study and get my assignments turned in.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

Thank you for being vulnerable with us. And it's okay to be frustrated, you'd be surprised how many people may feel like you out there.

When I was in school, being involved in church and having regular attendance was difficult and stressful. I really burnt myself out trying to be faithful to both.

I had to lighten up on my church responsibilities/attendance a little to get the job done. And now that I'm working, it's easier to enjoy what was frustrating/stressful to me when I was in school.

And I'm sorry that you go to a church that makes you feel funny b/c you don't have that "picture perfect" family.

Maybe it would help you to find a different church where you feel more welcomed and there are more people in the congregation like you with your lifestyle? Or maybe it would help you to find a service time that gels better with your schedule?

Some churches focus on personality and politics (which seems to turn you off) and some are just more sincere with real, honest, sweet people. Maybe you need to find a place that is more like the latter.

That can be difficult I know. But there is a place that you can fit. And if you can't always make it every Sunday, but you are trying, it's understandable, God sees your heart and knows it better than anyone!

Forgive me for the long response. Maybe some things I said didn't apply to your situation, but I hope some things did. It will get better for you and God will help you. Please stay encouraged!

 

[HWAY]

I felt this way when I first returned to school in 1994 and again two years ago when completing my BS. I missed Sunday services and felt very stressed. Now in graduate school, I have learned it's okay to let go a bit.
One thing I learned is I only have please my Master. I agree with a joyful joy.

Speaking as a woman who did not marry until age 35, please enjoy your single state. Being single allows you the freedom to focus on your studies and your ministry. This is the time to enjoy your life while preparing for your role as wife and mother. You will be an excellent wife and mother when the right man comes our way. You will not wonder "what if" because you did what you wished to do.

What is your definition of success? Please don't get caught up in someone else's vision or allow someone else's vision decide your goal in life. I wasted too many years being influenced by modern day Pharisees. Now I can see why I felt inadequate. Please keep reading the bible and praying for guidance from the holy spirit.

I speak to you as an older sister, look for situations and people who make you feel good about yourself. Please decrease the stress and negativity in your life and God will bless you and strengthen you. When do you graduate?

 

[PaperClip]

I felt this way when I first returned to school in 1994 and again two years ago when completing my BS. I missed Sunday services and felt very stressed. Now in graduate school, I have learned it's okay to let go a bit.
One thing I learned is I only have please my Master. I agree with a joyful joy.

Speaking as a woman who did not marry until age 35, please enjoy your single state. Being single allows you the freedom to focus on your studies and your ministry. This is the time to enjoy your life while preparing for your role as wife and mother. You will be an excellent wife and mother when the right man comes our way. You will not wonder "what if" because you did what you wished to do.

What is your definition of success? Please don't get caught up in someone else's vision or allow someone else's vision decide your goal in life. I wasted too many years being influenced by modern day Pharisees. Now I can see why I felt inadequate. Please keep reading the bible and praying for guidance from the holy spirit.

I speak to you as an older sister, look for situations and people who make you feel good about yourself. Please decrease the stress and negativity in your life and God will bless you and strengthen you. When do you graduate?

I appreciate everyone's responses.... Thank you....

HWAY: prayerfully I will defend my dissertation this time (or a little bit earlier) next year (2008).... I concur with you about appreciating this time of singleness/freedom. I appreciate it now more than I did before. And I appreciate it now as I am in the midst of my doctoral studies. Thank you for your encouraging words.

 

[AfroKink]

It sounds like you have outgrown your church. Maybe try out some new churches in the new year. Maybe a new denomination? Switching churches is sometimes necessary for continued spiritual growth.

Lys

 

[shalom]

I've been where you are and I totally understand your frustration.

Pray, God will give you peace. Everyday, I pray for God to help me to seek the kingdom of heaven and all of it's righteousness and then I remind God that he said if I did this all other things will be given unto me. Focus on the Lord.

I hate when that old devil comes in and tries to distract us from keeping our mind on the Lord.

Be BLESSED.

 

[kbragg]

I think in these types of situations, it's best to get our minds off of ourselves, our desires, our wants, our schedules, our "stuff" and get our focus on what we're called to do. We're not supposed to gather in church for entertainment or to meet our own needs, the church was established by Christ to go forth and reach the lost. 2 billion people around the world have never heard the Gospel. In countries like India and China, they would love to be able to attend a church whenever they desired, fallible humans in the congregation and all. I think you should get your focus back on your first love, and reaching people for Him. I'm not against getting an education and excelling in life, I have goals myself, but I know that all this earthly, stuff will burn up and only what we do for Him will last. Get your focus on reaching souls for Christ and off how "inconvenient" church is for you and all the church politics and stuff, and you will find a renewed sense of peace and joy.

 

[envybeauty]

Sometimes school gets to our head. We think that the more we read, the more we know, the more we ponder, etc. With all the wisdom that is on this earth right now, it is no more than what God allows for us to know at any point in time. Jesus walking the land knew more then than we do today.

I say that to say this: the church is not your problem.

Jesus was questioned more by his disciples, followers, and enemies than you ever have been. He endured the questions and provided very good answers, some tongue in cheek IMO. He did this when asked in and out of the church.

Yet, he endured. There were times he was saddened yes. However, those times do not overshadow how he felt about the church. At least that is not how I read the scripture for myself.

People ask you questions becuase they feel a certain level of intimacy with you. If they didn't feel it, then they wouldn't ask it of you. That said, you need to set your bourndaries in and out of the church. Someone asks you if you are married, and you do not want to entertain such topics, then nip it in the bud. When Jesus said, let him who is without sin thrown the first stone, that was the end of it. No long discussion on the matters of adultery or anything else took place after He said that. Nip it in the bud. Once you do, most will not bother you with such trivial questions.

Also, you see what you want to see. If you look around the church and you choose to focus on the married couples and their kids and feel slighted about your single nature, that is on you. I bet that someone diagnosed with a terminal illness would walk in that church, hear what you hear, see what you see, and the number of married couples there would be the last thing on their minds. Pray that God turns your eyes and heart to matters He would desire for you to see and not what your mind wanders to.