gottabme247
New Member
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second,
the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual
basis before it's made on an emotional one.
What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell
you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who
can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not
consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love!
Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: "Above all else,
guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out
his/her attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe
that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then
marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and
accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another
exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of
the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing
your life together after marriage.
But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these
facts.
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this
man/woman have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus
Christ? Does he/she care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he/she
accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith?
Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a
committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same
family - the family of God?
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials
of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the
same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like
interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.
You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some
truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better
together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and
your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married
and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says
he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's
not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he/she pursuing you? The man who is right
for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be
clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives
favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22).
Note-who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time,
God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them
together.
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find
you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his
mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You
do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to
help a guy out because he's shy!
Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The
man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his
life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand.
If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that
he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a
man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it
actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him
because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate
chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel
all right about yourself.
You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select
you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful
as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the
ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found.
Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the
lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he
is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the
relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first
act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They
should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only
into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his
intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take
care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs
to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be
a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock
together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and
his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you
haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that
might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put
his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the
rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her?
This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men
who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't
like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son
continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.
Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your
life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making
commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always
someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does
he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all
garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin
to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your
life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right
stuff.
the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual
basis before it's made on an emotional one.
What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell
you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who
can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not
consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love!
Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: "Above all else,
guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out
his/her attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe
that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then
marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and
accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another
exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of
the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing
your life together after marriage.
But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these
facts.
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this
man/woman have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus
Christ? Does he/she care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he/she
accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith?
Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a
committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same
family - the family of God?
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials
of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the
same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like
interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.
You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some
truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better
together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and
your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married
and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says
he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's
not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he/she pursuing you? The man who is right
for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be
clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives
favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22).
Note-who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time,
God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them
together.
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find
you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his
mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You
do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to
help a guy out because he's shy!
Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The
man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his
life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand.
If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that
he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a
man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it
actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him
because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate
chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel
all right about yourself.
You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select
you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful
as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the
ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found.
Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the
lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he
is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the
relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first
act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They
should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only
into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his
intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take
care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs
to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be
a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock
together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and
his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you
haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that
might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put
his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the
rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her?
This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men
who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't
like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son
continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.
Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your
life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making
commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always
someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does
he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all
garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin
to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your
life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right
stuff.
