I really want him back....what more can I do?

Arabella said:
*sigh* My SO and I have been together for about 6 months and been best frends for about 2.



why am I even bothering?

Do u guys think im wasting my time?
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Good question. Why are you even bothering?

And yes, you are wasting your time over someone you've only known for eight months.

I always find it funny too that folks will talk about all the crap they're going through with a man and then say, "other than that, he's amazing!!!"

Excuse me? Come again? If he was so "amazing" you wouldn't have to be posting about this!
 
Ummm. I hope I don't offend, but how old are you? The same thing happened to me when I was 17. I'm sorry to say this but each time you broke up with him, you were right. There is no exuse why he couldn't pick up the phone and call. He didn't and still doesn't want to be bothered. A " clean break" is code for just that, BREAK UP. A lot of men (boys) play that "clean break, and I'll get back to you when my head is cleared" BS when they are interested in someone else, but if no one is checkin them, then you're the "fall back" girl. Then, when you call them constantly, they get annoyed and treat you badly. Take it from someone who has been there. Make it a CLEAN BREAK. Don't sweat him and do you. Sorry hon. :(
 
Arabella said:
*sigh* My SO and I have been together for about 6 months and been best frends for about 2. We've broken up about 4 times within the last 4 months, its been ridiculous. Ive broken up with him each time mostly becase of my impatience. He's going through a lot of things right now with finals and he was very detached from me and it was hurting me that he wasn't confiding with me or keeping in touch AT ALL.

just before we broke up the last time, everything was great, we had decided to work on our relationship, unfortunately something came up and he got quite upset about it, saying he would need time to get over it. he did not call me for about a week and I got mad and broke up with him. he was the one that caused the drama every single time and I slipped up the once and he wanted to crucify me?

anyway, I called him after becuse I miss him sooo much, he is my best friend and I feel like I am missing a limb. He says he wants time for a 'break' to get himself together. I asked him if he still cared about me and he said 'I haven't been thinking about that lately'..ive been too busy:sad:

I call him quite often but he said he wanted a clean break so he could come back to the relationship refreshed. how would that work if we dont even speak? He never calls me now... I asked him how long his break would take he said he doesnt kno...:ohwell:

why am I even bothering? I know I hurt him to some extent but he's completely shutting me out :sad: I dont even know what to do ladies. He's an amazing person, I know he's busy right now, but he needs to set the atmosphere for us to get back together.

Do u guys think im wasting my time?
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I don't wish to be harsh, but yes you are wasting your time. If he were interested, he would be setting the atmosphere for you and he to get back together - that is if he were interested. Stop sweating this clown! And pick up a copy of the book entitled, "He's Just Not Into You."
 
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i honestly think your being wayyyyyyyyyyyy to hard on yourself--

you may need a break as well to regroup and re-focus on you--

if it is meant to be it will be---

wish you all the best
 
I agree with the other ladies.

Move on...yes, you are wasting your time.
Delete his number.
Do not email him.
Do not "drop by" his dorm room, parent's house, class, homeroom or locker...whichever applies.

There's nothing that you can do to make him want to come back...he has to make that decision for himself! Why would you want to wait around for him anyway, you're worth so much more.

Keep ya head up!!!
 
Bklynqueen said:
Ummm. I hope I don't offend, but how old are you? The same thing happened to me when I was 17. I'm sorry to say this but each time you broke up with him, you were right. There is no exuse why he couldn't pick up the phone and call. He didn't and still doesn't want to be bothered. A " clean break" is code for just that, BREAK UP. A lot of men (boys) play that "clean break, and I'll get back to you when my head is cleared" BS when they are interested in someone else, but if no one is checkin them, then you're the "fall back" girl. Then, when you call them constantly, they get annoyed and treat you badly. Take it from someone who has been there. Make it a CLEAN BREAK. Don't sweat him and do you. Sorry hon. :(
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This is the truth...all of it.
 
This situation is a dead horse.:deadhorse:Let it RIP because he clearly is not interested. He wants out big time and is probably hoping you will take the hint this time. It's not easy but please move on. It is clear that he has not wanted you for some time. :perplexed
Arabella said:
  • We've broken up about 4 times within the last 4 months
  • he was very detached from me and it was hurting me that he wasn't confiding with me or keeping in touch AT ALL
  • he did not call me for about a week and I got mad and broke up with him.
  • he was the one that caused the drama every single time
  • he said 'I haven't been thinking about that lately'..ive been too busy
  • he said he wanted a clean break
  • He never calls me now...
  • I asked him how long his break would take he said he doesnt kno..
Click to expand...
 
Arabella said:
*sigh* My SO and I have been together for about 6 months and been best frends for about 2. We've broken up about 4 times within the last 4 months, its been ridiculous. Ive broken up with him each time mostly becase of my impatience. He's going through a lot of things right now with finals and he was very detached from me and it was hurting me that he wasn't confiding with me or keeping in touch AT ALL.

just before we broke up the last time, everything was great, we had decided to work on our relationship, unfortunately something came up and he got quite upset about it, saying he would need time to get over it. he did not call me for about a week and I got mad and broke up with him. he was the one that caused the drama every single time and I slipped up the once and he wanted to crucify me?

anyway, I called him after becuse I miss him sooo much, he is my best friend and I feel like I am missing a limb. He says he wants time for a 'break' to get himself together. I asked him if he still cared about me an he said 'I haven't been thinking about that lately'..ive been too busy:sad:

I call him quite often but he said he wanted a clean break so he could come back to the relationship refreshed. how would that work if we dont even speak? He never calls me now... I asked him how long his break would take he said he doesnt kno...:ohwell:

why am I even bothering? I know I hurt him to some extent but he's completely shutting me out :sad: I dont even know what to do ladies. He's an amazing person, I know he's busy right now, but he needs to set the atmosphere for us to get back together.

Do u guys think im wasting my time?
Click to expand...

YES

he said he wanted time.. give it to him... go do your own thing an let HIM come back to YOU... repeatedly pushing him away and then bringing him back isn't doing either of you any good...
 
http://getyourmanback.com/

maybe this will help.

I know men don't respond to the same things as women...been there ....
they respond to the exact opposite....so if you go about your business and act like you dont give a ...flyin flip(put nicely) that's a start to get his attention.

get some confidence and stop acting so needy (especially calling him) will help too.


do the opposite of what you are doing because you are pushing him away further.

have you ever heard......if you try to hold on to something too tight you will lose it?
let him go.......if he wants you ...he knows your number and don't be so eager when he calls ...let it go to voicemail a couple of times and start talking to other men.:yawn:
 
*Hugs* Sweetie, please listen to the advice you've been given and let him go. Listen to his actions...
 
Sorry, there's nothing that you can do...in regards to him anyway. If he wants to be with you, he will....and he will make ever effort to make sure of that. If you really want him, just respect that he needs time. And who knows, maybe he'll come around.

BUT....
I know you said you guys are friends.....I'm not sure what you look for in a friend, but your friend would NEVER want to hurt you or leave you hanging.:nono: Don't put so much effort into something that you are not getting any out right from. Just leave him alone, find something to occupy your time (that does not involve him....i.e. staring at his picture, checking his myspace page to see who's leaving comments:look:, etc.) Just take a genuine break from him and the situation. Why, you may end up not even wanting him after you've had the time to figure what you truly want in a mate. :bighug:
 
thank you ladies!:rosebud:

Ive deleted all his numbers and erased everything to stop myself being tempted. it feels a lot better now
 
Honestly you need to let him Go.Plese know that you deserve someone who will love and respect you.

IGNORE him....It will make him wonder what you are doing and he will be chasing after you I promise.That's just how men are and once you start sweating him again,he will start to ignore you again....It's a silly game...

My advice to get over a breakup is to LOVE YOURSELF.Go out with friends,get pampered..do plenty of things to keep your mind off of him until it's really off of him.....Good luck sweetie.
 
My opinion is relationships with patterns of make-up break up are bad ones. Why?
It means you either know for a fact that there is something that is a dealbreaker but against your better judgment you return.

OR

You are not mature enough to weather the rough patches so every time one pops up you bounce.
 
There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are bad people. It just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful. It's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help himself...
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed...
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...
LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2008!!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left. Think about it and then...
LET IT GO!!!

--T. D. Jakes
 
Interesting...I was in a reverse version of this situation....he was a rebound after my last relationship.

I wasn't into the guy, I wasn't even trying to be intimate. He was someone that took up some time, someone to be around when I needed closeness.

I told him I needed space (meaning that things weren't working and I wanted out, I just didn't have the guts to say that) and he said okay...but still kept calling and asking to spend time together.

I didn't call him, nothing.

Finally I had to be out with it and say look...I just wanna be friends. I thought I had given enough hints. And I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, I was actually trying to AVOID being mean by hoping he would get the picture. But he didn't.

I feel bad now. Honey, sorry to say...but this is what he's doing to you. For whatever reasons. The reasons don't matter, the point is he's not trying to be with you.
 
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