I need some comforting, hair ego hurt

[AllAboutTheHair]

I complimented a co-worker on her new hair style, she got a black rinse and it looks really healthy. I asked about her stylist and if she really liked him or her, and she said that she was cool, why was I asking. So I told her I was looking for a stylist to do my relaxers. And she tells me yeah, you need a stylist your ends are split really bad. I was like ?

Guys, my hair was in a bun

Did I take it the wrong way, maybe she doesn't know what she is talking about, can a bun have split ends?

 

[Moroni]

Ummm. How do you spell jealousy? I think your coworker may have been siezed by the green-eyed monster, and she's definitely NOT as gracious as you. There's no way she can tell what your ends look like in a bun.

 

[Dayjoy]

It sounds to me like either:
1. She doesn't know how to accept a compliment gracefully
2. She may even be hating on your hair, or
3. She is just tactless.
Either way, you know you have been caring for your hair. If you can find a good stylist through her don't let her comment stray you from getting your good thing.

 

[1QTPie]

I'm all about being honest but she needs to use tact. You didn't ask her all of that. She should have just given you the woman's number and left it at that.

And to answer your question... I guess a messy bun can have split ends. BUT there is a big difference between split ends and frizzy ends etc.

Don't let her comments defeat you, you know your hair is healthy so blah blah blah to her. I'd have given her the finger.

 

[HoneyDew]

Why don't things like this happen to me. I need a good reason to get smart with somebody!

Girl, don't even worry about her. Anyone that would say that, in that way, is a rude person.

Anyway, I notice there are many chicks out here that get nuts when you ask them who does their hair. It is like that don't want to share the info or something. WHY?! I never could figure that out.

 

[caribgirl]

My jaw is hanging open- What nerve to say it like that- not nice at all . If you do or don't have splits, don''t let her comment bother you and ruin your blessed day.
Just make a mental note to check for splits on your fly-away hair and then search, and destroy if they appear .

ETA: I checked out your fotki and I must run back in here to say that you have some beautiful hair! I think your co-worker is hatin' !

 

[MizzBrown]

Well do you have split ends that she may have seen on another day when your hair was out? Put it all out and let us see. You know we'll tell ya like it is. Some ladies on LHCF are ruthless so I know you'll get the truth.

 

[SweetlyBlessed]

LOL @ MizzBrown telling you to put yourself on front street for LHCF.

I agree with all the ladies...some ppl are just tactless = just don't know what to say out their mouths!

Keep it moving puddin! Shake it off and proceed to do you! And if that's the only hater you have...you slacking...step up your game and get some more heffas to hate on you! That just tells you she was all up in your head for some reason, probably trying to figure out why it's so healthy.

Be Blessed!

 

[AllAboutTheHair]

thanks, you gals

I think my ego was hurt because I am trying so hard with relaxer/texlaxed hair. I trim each plait every time I wash and deep condition (just the tips), I oil the ends with castor oil and airdry or hood dry with plaits or a roller set. If my efforts are causing splits, I am like

 

[AllAboutTheHair]

Well do you have split ends that she may have seen on another day when your hair was out? Put it all out and let us see. You know we'll tell ya like it is. Some ladies on LHCF are ruthless so I know you'll get the truth.

I have got to update. I have gotten fat and old Married life has made me really really comfortable I am a little camera shy now, I will make an effort for my peeps this weekend...no fat jokes

 

[Solti]

Nah you probably have no split ends. The whole post screams that she just doesn't like you. And its probably nothing you did but you know how someone doesn't like someone and they don't even know why. She was just trying to hurt your feelings for giggles.

You know what tipped it off for me? When she asked you why you were asking who her stylist was...Sounds like she was being low key difficult. If she liked you she would have said thanks to the compliment gave you the info and went on about her business. If she TRULY liked you she would have given you a compliment back.

Protect your feelings from this chic cause she doesn't mean you anything but harm.

 

[Traycee]

Thats sad........there are women in my family that are like this......DO NOT GIVE THEM A COMPLIMENT...let alone ask them for they're secrets....That's setting yourself up (I might be related to her???)

Don't feel bad I bet there is nothing wrong with your hair..you have pretty hair....Just sounds like to me a little hate-a -ration!!!

 

[HoneyDew]

But, even if someone has split ends, why would a person way something like that when she asks her for her stylists info?

 

[Traycee]

But, even if someone has split ends, why would a person way something like that when she asks her for her stylists info?

That what I'm saying ....Sounds like she is jealous/ hating on her!

 

[TCT]

thanks, you gals

I think my ego was hurt because I am trying so hard with relaxer/texlaxed hair. I trim each plait every time I wash and deep condition (just the tips), I oil the ends with castor oil and airdry or hood dry with plaits or a roller set. If my efforts are causing splits, I am like

GIRL PULEAASE. I WENT AND LOOKED. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR HAIR. PERHAPS SHE WANTS YOU TO THINK THAT SO THAT YOU WILL CUT IT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT SHE'S SAYIN. AND NOW THAT YOU KNOW SHE IS A HATER, I WOULDT ADVISE YOU GO TO HER STYLIST, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

 

[TCT]

Nah you probably have no split ends. The whole post screams that she just doesn't like you. And its probably nothing you did but you know how someone doesn't like someone and they don't even know why. She was just trying to hurt your feelings for giggles.

You know what tipped it off for me? When she asked you why you were asking who her stylist was...Sounds like she was being low key difficult. If she liked you she would have said thanks to the compliment gave you the info and went on about her business. If she TRULY liked you she would have given you a compliment back.

Protect your feelings from this chic cause she doesn't mean you anything but harm.

WHAT SHE SAID.

 

[balisi]

Well do you have split ends that she may have seen on another day when your hair was out?

This is what I thought. And depending on how a bun is done, it is possible to see any existing split ends. Regardless, I don't think your co-worker was being very gracious to you at all.

 

[AllAboutTheHair]

This is what I thought. And depending on how a bun is done, it is possible to see any existing split ends. Regardless, I don't think your co-worker was being very gracious to you at all.

I never wear my hair out period, especially at work. The only time my hair is loose and free is on wash/condition days or when I moisturize my ends

 

[PureSilver]

Maybe if she said that to me i wouldn't feel hurt cause mine are really bad, girl smile a while and don't worry about her, ur sisters here thinks your hair looks lovely. Don't let someone's jealous hurt ur ego, u've worked too long and hard to reach where u're at. Like someone said she's definately as gracious as u r.

That's why i don't let my hair out at work anymore, can't deal with the haters and the touchers
Maybe she's got lazer eyes(i think not!)

 

[SmartyPants]

Why don't things like this happen to me. I need a good reason to get smart with somebody!

Girl, don't even worry about her. Anyone that would say that, in that way, is a rude person.

Anyway, I notice there are many chicks out here that get nuts when you ask them who does their hair. It is like that don't want to share the info or something. WHY?! I never could figure that out.

Which is why things like this don't happen to you. People see you coming!

 

[sunshinelady]

Do you have visible breakage? You can see split ends/breakage in a bun.

 

[AllAboutTheHair]

my hair looks like a blowdried natural 4a when it is wet and combed through. I still have curls in my hair because it is underprocessed (texlaxed) so my roots are always fuzzy/frizzy, but my bun is pretty smooth because I moisturize, oil the ends, coil it up and secure

 

[TheNewFine]

LOL @ MizzBrown telling you to put yourself on front street for LHCF.

I agree with all the ladies...some ppl are just tactless = just don't know what to say out their mouths!

Keep it moving puddin! Shake it off and proceed to do you! And if that's the only hater you have...you slacking...step up your game and get some more heffas to hate on you! That just tells you she was all up in your head for some reason, probably trying to figure out why it's so healthy.

Be Blessed!

My laugh for the year - thank you, Be blessed!

 

[Kurlee]

Ummm. How do you spell jealousy? I think your coworker may have been siezed by the green-eyed monster, and she's definitely NOT as gracious as you. There's no way she can tell what your ends look like in a bun.

yup shes sounds like shes hating. That or she has no tact.

ETA: I jus checked ur album! Ur hair is tell that heffer to kick rocks

 

[isobell]

Is your hair longer than hers? she's probably insecure and projecting that unto you. you have no idea how many people will tell you to get a trim when your hair is longer than theirs...they'll say things like "if i didn't mind having rough looking hair, my hair would be as long as yours". It's quite plain she's just been hateful, it's not like you asked her a question and she decided to be "blunt". It was completely unsolicited! laugh it off chica!

 

[kweenameena]

I have got to update. I have gotten fat and old Married life has made me really really comfortable I am a little camera shy now, I will make an effort for my peeps this weekend...no fat jokes

Well just make sure you're not showing your back fat The photo po-pos consider that a felony...j/k

Girl, it sounds like this chick has been hatin' for a minute. She probably couldn't tell while your hair was in a bun but you best believe she's probably been eyeing your hair for awhile now and needed to have something negative to say to you to make herself feel better. Don't let her make you question yourself and mess with you self-esteem. When are we as black women gonna stop tearing each other down?

 

[cmw45]

Nah you probably have no split ends. The whole post screams that she just doesn't like you. And its probably nothing you did but you know how someone doesn't like someone and they don't even know why. She was just trying to hurt your feelings for giggles.

You know what tipped it off for me? When she asked you why you were asking who her stylist was...Sounds like she was being low key difficult. If she liked you she would have said thanks to the compliment gave you the info and went on about her business. If she TRULY liked you she would have given you a compliment back.

Protect your feelings from this chic cause she doesn't mean you anything but harm.

I totally agree. I was working at this random job and this woman was really horrible to me. Silly me, I didn't even know. She had just been pregnant and was always going on about how happy she was that she was "lightening back up." Neway, one day I complimented her on her hair and she didn't know what to do with herself. She was just like.

Killem wit kindness. Go on wit your fabulous self and let the haters hate.

 

[locabouthair]

But, even if someone has split ends, why would a person way something like that when she asks her for her stylists info?

exactly! people are so rude sometimes. I have a life time of comments from rude tacless people about my hair.

Am the only who can't tell if someone's ends are aplit unless I am ALL UP IN THEIR HEAD. I mean really, you'd have to look at a strand way up close to examine them for splits. i think people confuse splits with ends that are uneven and/or thin.

In any case, she didn't have to say that. That's the reason I don't talk to people about hair period. People can be very negative. And you don't need that when you are trying to get your hair together if it's in a damaged state.
It's very discouraging.

 

[zzirvingj]

BUT there is a big difference between split ends and frizzy ends etc.

Exactly. I've had people (including stylists) tell me my ends were split when they were just frizzy.

Anywho, she definitely sounds like a hater. I usually return a complement when someone gives me one...how rude of her. You have gorgeous hair and I'm sure you probably know more about hair than she does so don't let your feelings be hurt. Keep doin you!