I liked my hair better b4...I'm done with all this extra stuff! <vent>

[MissFallon]

Today I realized that my hair never gave me any real trouble b4 I joined this board. B4 I knew about protective styles and all this other crap I was fine. My hair was bsl and grew fine and I wore it out everyday. Now I wear it in protective styles daily and have had nothing but stress over my hair. I am so sick of it. Today I went to get my hair braided and she messed it up so bad that I got fed up with the whole hair care thing and said I'm going back to my old styles. My regimen hasnt changed really since joining this board so I'm good with that. No more protective styles for me. I'm going back to flatironing weekly and and wearing my hair down everyday. I'm sick of looking twelve. I've tried all the protective styles and none of them are for me. I am going to relax in april and I give up on transitioning. I'm just really fed up with this whole hair care thing right now. I think I was better off b4 finding LHCF. Don't get me wrong I have learned a lot from the board but hair grows and mine seems to be able to retain length so I'm not going to jump on every bandwagon or overobsess about my hair anymore. If I make it to waistlength then I make it, if not then I'm happy with where I am at now.

ETA: Not giving up on caring for my hair, just giving up protective styles and all the unneccesary extras.

 

[Demi27]

Aww. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that everything works out for you. I'm just trying to get to your length now!
I say do what works for you though. Just know that you LHCF sisters will be here for you.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Hey You! I am kinda going through something like this myself. I am feeling tired of my hair journey and I am envying the 'freedom' I used to have back them. I hate protective styling (this is the only way my hair retains length) and I don't feel attractive with them. But I keep reminding myself that something made me seek out LHCF in the first place. And whatever that was, I do not want to go back. So, I think the frustration on my behalf comes from seeing breakage/not feeling attractive/and seeing such small progress.

Anyways, we are here for ya whatever you decide to do. Take care of yourself first.

 

[cmw45]

It's definitely a personal choice...and I could def. understand your frustration...the LHCF ladies wish you the best and will be here if you ever decide to return.

 

[FAMUDva]

Today I realized that my hair never gave me any real trouble b4 I joined this board. B4 I knew about protective styles and all this other crap I was fine. My hair was bsl and grew fine and I wore it out everyday. Now I wear it in protective styles daily and have had nothing but stress over my hair. I am so sick of it. Today I went to get my hair braided and she messed it up so bad that I got fed up with the whole hair care thing and said I'm going back to my old styles. My regimen hasnt changed really since joining this board so I'm good with that. No more protective styles for me. I'm going back to flatironing weekly and and wearing my hair down everyday. I'm sick of looking twelve. I've tried all the protective styles and none of them are for me. I am going to relax in april and I give up on transitioning. I'm just really fed up with this whole hair care thing right now. I think I was better off b4 finding LHCF. Don't get me wrong I have learned a lot from the board but hair grows and mine seems to be able to retain length so I'm not going to jump on every bandwagon or overobsess about my hair anymore. If I make it to waistlength then I make it, if not then I'm happy with where I am at now.

Girl you sound like me! I stopped doing almost EVERYTHING I jumped on the bandwagon with on this board. Other than regularly bunning and some product suggestions, I'm doing what always kept my hair nice and healthy before LHCF.

My hair started looking a HAM after I joined when that was never the case before... EVER IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE! I guess the biggest lesson for me was to not just let my stylist trim just because, it is working for me. I'm done with the baggies, the pre-poo, cond washes, etc. More power to those that it works for, but I like you found it was making my hair and ME look crazy.

ETA: I decided this week that I'm sick of the bunning all the time and giving up on it... I have friends with long hair and although they use protective styles sometimes, they don't have to do it all the time and don't suffer ill effects. I'm not trying to get extremely long hair, but when I do reach my goals, I don't want straggly (sp) looking ends just to say I have long hair. I'll keep my nicely thick hair even if it takes much longer to get to my goal length. I'm going back to wearing my hair down more often and wearing my roller/flexi rod sets. EVEN if my hair rubs my clothes.

 

[MissFallon]

Thank yall! A lot of this fustration has been pent up but today was the culmination. I went to get my hair braided by the girl who did it b4 (not the one who did the braids in my fotki) and after having her take them out and restart about 5 different styles I ended up leaving with my real hair braided,l no extensions looking like a HAM. All I could think was "what the hell am i gonna do to my hair? I am sick of this damn bun!" When I got home I was like "why am I stressing about protective styles all the time? I look like I'm 12 with the bun and want to wear my hair down" Since I don't relax often the winter is the only time I really have that allows me to wear my hair down and it wont revert or look crazy. I'm taking advantage of that and if it breaks off thats my fault but I doubt it will and Im sick of worrying about it all the time.

 

[FAMUDva]

I totally understand Fallon... I want protective styling to be a choice or style option, not a MUST do! For me I'm over having longer hair just to wear it up all the time. I haven't even made it to my first goal, but I'm jumping out there. There are some folks on LHCF that did not do protective styles and still grew their hair.

Good luck!

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I totally understand Fallon... I want protective styling to be a choice or style option, not a MUST do! For me I'm over having longer hair just to wear it up all the time. I haven't even made it to my first goal, but I'm jumping out there. There are some folks on LHCF that did not do protective styles and still grew their hair.

Good luck!

You are right. I think part of my reason that I resent PS (protective styling) so much is because it is a must do for me. I feel like my hair won't retain any other way and I KNOW it works. So I don't want to go through trying to find out new ways all over again. *Sigh* Oh well, I don't have long left.

 

[HoneyDew]

Hey, you have to do what's best for you. I think this boards has helpful information if you are trying to solve a problem, but if it's not broke - don't fix it.

 

[SouthernJewel]

I was JUST thinking about this last night! I dont want long hair persay, I want healthy hair! My hair is healthy now, so I am contemplating cuting it into an ear length bob because shorter hair goes with my round face better. However, Im hesitant because i've spent dang near 2 years trying to get long hair to no success. Oh well...

 

[CAPlush]

Today I realized that my hair never gave me any real trouble b4 I joined this board. B4 I knew about protective styles and all this other crap I was fine. My hair was bsl and grew fine and I wore it out everyday. Now I wear it in protective styles daily and have had nothing but stress over my hair. I am so sick of it. Today I went to get my hair braided and she messed it up so bad that I got fed up with the whole hair care thing and said I'm going back to my old styles. My regimen hasnt changed really since joining this board so I'm good with that. No more protective styles for me. I'm going back to flatironing weekly and and wearing my hair down everyday. I'm sick of looking twelve. I've tried all the protective styles and none of them are for me. I am going to relax in april and I give up on transitioning. I'm just really fed up with this whole hair care thing right now. I think I was better off b4 finding LHCF. Don't get me wrong I have learned a lot from the board but hair grows and mine seems to be able to retain length so I'm not going to jump on every bandwagon or overobsess about my hair anymore. If I make it to waistlength then I make it, if not then I'm happy with where I am at now.

If you are happy, we are all happy for you . Enjoy your beautiful hair!!!

 

[MissFallon]

Yeah i agree about the choice factor. When I first joined the forum I had just cut a lot of hair off and was wearing a phony pony until my hair grew to a "presentable" length. I didn't do it for protective style reasons just cuz I didn't want to show my real hair. I wore the phony pony until October and then started the donut bun which was cool at first cuz I could never get it when I tried and always thought the donut bun as cute. I could still do it but I think its doing more damage than good to my ends. The phony pony is out cuz I'm transitioning and can't find the ponytail that I was using b4 as a bun that was wavy/kinda messy hair looking and matched perfectly to my texture. I guess if maybe I could find that one ponytail again I wouldn't be so stressed but I can't. I think it is hard for ppl who wore protective styles for long periods of time (especially phony ponies and weaves) to figure out how to protect their real hair when they can't use those options. Its hard to find a medium.

 

[Qetesh]

i personally feel you can have both... retain length and have your hair the way you like it, now if you are a 4b and only want bone striaight hair and wear it down every day this is going to take alot of work to keep the balance straight but u get my point.

i wouldnt do bunning all the time if its not you just take what u can from the board and run with it... ill find my threat on protective styles as i never do them either and my hair has retained more length than it did b4 lhcf

 

[GoldenBreeze]

I know I'm rather new here, but I feel that there's enough stress in life without being stressed about your hair as well. It's nice to have access to the wealth of information here on lhcf, but we all have to somehow find the balance in hair care that works for us. Most of all we need to be happy with the choices that we make for ourselves. It is perfectly fine not to wear protective styles, if that is right for you. I hope you find happyness with your hair, enjoy it, and not be stressed by it.

 

[navsegda]

Today I realized that my hair never gave me any real trouble b4 I joined this board. B4 I knew about protective styles and all this other crap I was fine. My hair was bsl and grew fine and I wore it out everyday. Now I wear it in protective styles daily and have had nothing but stress over my hair. I am so sick of it. Today I went to get my hair braided and she messed it up so bad that I got fed up with the whole hair care thing and said I'm going back to my old styles. My regimen hasnt changed really since joining this board so I'm good with that. No more protective styles for me. I'm going back to flatironing weekly and and wearing my hair down everyday. I'm sick of looking twelve. I've tried all the protective styles and none of them are for me. I am going to relax in april and I give up on transitioning. I'm just really fed up with this whole hair care thing right now. I think I was better off b4 finding LHCF. Don't get me wrong I have learned a lot from the board but hair grows and mine seems to be able to retain length so I'm not going to jump on every bandwagon or overobsess about my hair anymore. If I make it to waistlength then I make it, if not then I'm happy with where I am at now.

ETA: Not giving up on caring for my hair, just giving up protective styles and all the unneccesary extras.

I've always said that people should just do what works for them. There is a ton of great advice on this board and people kinda get caught up in the masses. Some get the mentality that if it works for the vast majority of people, it will work for me. The same is true for the contrary (if it doesn't work for the vast majority, then it WON'T work for me). I've said a million times that everyone's hair is different and people's hair responds to different products, techniques, and manipulation in different ways. There are a few universal things about our hair (ie it's made of keratin), but the rest is highly variable.

 

[zailless]

Thank yall! A lot of this fustration has been pent up but today was the culmination. I went to get my hair braided by the girl who did it b4 (not the one who did the braids in my fotki) and after having her take them out and restart about 5 different styles I ended up leaving with my real hair braided,l no extensions looking like a HAM. All I could think was "what the hell am i gonna do to my hair? I am sick of this damn bun!" When I got home I was like "why am I stressing about protective styles all the time? I look like I'm 12 with the bun and want to wear my hair down" Since I don't relax often the winter is the only time I really have that allows me to wear my hair down and it wont revert or look crazy. I'm taking advantage of that and if it breaks off thats my fault but I doubt it will and Im sick of worrying about it all the time.

I am also done with hair. I feel just like you. My hair grew thick and long before. everyone is there for me on this site, but now, i dont want to notice my hair anymore. I want to go back to the way i was. i didnt do damaging stuff to my hair before. i flat ironed once a week after getting a dominican blowout, and never had split ends or anything like that. i got alot of compliments on my hair back then wihtout paying any extra attention. if it grows it grows. i am going to simplify my regimen which is how i was before.

 

[LadyZ]

Miss Fallon, you must have read my mind...:crystalba Just the other day I was thinking... I have spent the last 1 1/2 years trying to grow my hair... and keep it healthy, after severe breakage from protein over load... I have regrew my hair back, but I am still obsessed for more... So I have been MTGing it , Lenzie's requesting it , Sulfuring it , CWing it , and God knows all the other concoctions I did also , all I have done is Bun, Bun and Bun some more... I admit all this has helped too... But for me enough is a enough... I have had it... I am in a "Hide Your Hair Until Aprils Fool's Day Challenge".... Once it has ended I will be in my own ENJOY YOUR HAIR FOR THE SUMMER CHALLENGE ...

I will always practice the great tips I have learned from the forums... But I just want to live the troublesome, carefree hair days that I used to have... I have become so hair obsessed... Trying to grow it longer than it ever been... Now I never enjoy the hair I have , because all I do is bun it all the time for growth... I will be enjoying my hair this summer... and I will put me some color in it too... I don't care if it grows to APL or it might be completely bald by then, who knows what might happen, whatever length it is by April Fool's day I will love it and wear it...

I love these forums and GOD knows they have helped and saved me many times... I am forever thankful:notworthy ... I over loaded myself with hair care, jumping on bandwagons and etc... It is now time to enjoy the benefits of taking better care of my hair...

 

[liv4life9]

I am so glad to find this as a thread . I've been feeling the same way about my hair. Trying to find that balance of maintaining healthy hair and trying to have a cute hairstyle erplexed . I used to bun all the time and if I wasn't bunning, then I was doing braid outs. Now I have let lose a little bit. I still take care of my hair, but now I am not so overwhelmed. Instead of never using heat in my hair, I let my hair airdry and flat iron my hair approx 1x a week. The other times I will just airdry and put it into a low ponytail.
The problem for me was that I already look like I am a teenager and it is tough for people to take me seriously when I am at work. Now I know I can stretch my relaxers for 12-13 weeks (with the help of my flat iron) and now I know the value of a great conditioner. Now I know never to wear my hair down when I am wearing wool and now I know that I do not have to comb my hair every 2 seconds to maintain my styles.
Bottom line ... I have learned a lot to help me maintain my hair without driving myself crazy. I've gone from neck length to just about apl and I am happy. I think that if I keep all the general lhcf principles going without being ocd about it ... me and my hair will be just fine

 

[2cute2B4gotten]

I totally understand Fallon... I want protective styling to be a choice or style option, not a MUST do! For me I'm over having longer hair just to wear it up all the time. I haven't even made it to my first goal, but I'm jumping out there. There are some folks on LHCF that did not do protective styles and still grew their hair.

Good luck!

I am one of those people. I do wear buns ocassionally, but that's when it's too dirty and flat to do anything else. I just can't commit to protective styles 24/7, and my hair still grows and retains length. I say, do what works for you.

 

[luckymonkey1307]

Happy to hear you wont be stressing anymore!
because life is hard enough as it is

 

[dynamic1]

I understand how you feel. I liked my hair before LHCF as well, but I found this board shortly after deciding to transition. I have learned a lot here. Also, if you had healthy hair prior to joining, there is still a lot you can contribute. For example, some may want to know what you did to retain your length without protective styling, etc. Bunning was a necessary evil for me, prior to joining (excercise, mandatory washing, etc). I can see why people dislike and get frustrated with protective styles. Sometimes you want to let it all hang out!

But hey, you have to do what makes you happy. You never know when you might change your mind about your styling choices.

 

[Vshanell]

Thank yall! A lot of this fustration has been pent up but today was the culmination. I went to get my hair braided by the girl who did it b4 (not the one who did the braids in my fotki) and after having her take them out and restart about 5 different styles I ended up leaving with my real hair braided,l no extensions looking like a HAM. All I could think was "what the hell am i gonna do to my hair? I am sick of this damn bun!" When I got home I was like "why am I stressing about protective styles all the time? I look like I'm 12 with the bun and want to wear my hair down" Since I don't relax often the winter is the only time I really have that allows me to wear my hair down and it wont revert or look crazy. I'm taking advantage of that and if it breaks off thats my fault but I doubt it will and Im sick of worrying about it all the time.

I feel your frustration MissFallon but it will be ok. Let your hair down, let it all hang out....lol. I think all will be fine and you will still get the growth you want. It sounds like "the bun" is what's getting you down the most. Take a break from it....not everyone does protective styles to get length so you might not even need to. I know I never wear protective styles and my hair is growing. I think as long as you're not overdoing it with heat and manipulation you'll be ok. All the extra's aren't necessary.

 

[Mortons]

Let it rain, and clear it out....


lol but really if you like your hair down wear it down. Dont wear things that you dont feel comfortable with, and if you like flatironing SAFELY flatiron your hair and you will be fine. My old roomate rollerset and flatironed her hair every week and it is healthy and long. As long as you take care of it I am inclined to believe that the styling (protective) styling doesnt matter.



But if your ends tend to break you might like to have your hair curled at the ends or off of your clothing.

 

[DragonPearl]

I totally understand Fallon... I want protective styling to be a choice or style option, not a MUST do! For me I'm over having longer hair just to wear it up all the time.
Good luck!

That's exactly where I'm at.

I think it's very important FOR ME to enjoy my hair. I will wear a protective style like a bun or a French twist once in a while, but I need to feel that I like it. It is useless for me to wear my hair a particular way that I hate, all for the sake of growing hair.

 

[ubavka123]

I know how you feel. I went through feeling like this, too, so I decided to change things up every now and then when I feel that way. For example, I do protective styles for the first 2-4 weeks after a touch up and then I start rollersetiing the last 4-10 weeks. I hate nothing more than an airdired bun and fuzzy edges when I am very far past my touch-up. I just feel very blah! I have found that rollersetting and doing curly styles (I don't really like to wear my hair straight unless it is professionally blown-out) have helped me from feeling frumpy and throwing in the towel altogether. I also see that my hair still grows and has even thickened up some more. I am careful not to abuse my hair, but I am also trying to enjoy it more. There is no use feeling awful and stressing, even if it means my hair will be super long by the time I reach my goal. I want to take care of my hair, have fun doing it, and look pretty, too. If I am stressing over it, to me, it is not that worth it. Life is way too short, and as one poster said, there are enough stresses in life. Do what works for you and good luck in your continued journey. Doesn't sound like you are giving up as much as changing it up a bit! A little change will do you some good--you'll get your perspective back.

 

[dannie]

I feel ya!!!