I give up!

[curlycrocheter]

I give up. I'm at my wits end. I keep trying to say that I'm gonna leave the heat alone & when I do I get sucked right back in!

I have flat ironed my hair maybe twice this year & I'm on the brink of a major setback.

I get such bad ssk's, they are sometimes 2-3 inches up the strand or there are multiple knots on 1 strand.

I've tried heavy sealing, I've tried wearing twists, & protective styling. I'm done.

I don't know why I keep trying to make myself feel guilty for preferring to wear my hair straight. It's what works for me. This happens every single time. Last time I did this, I had to cut 5 inches of hair. Today I plan on straightening & getting rid of at least 3 inches of hair.

That's this entire year's progress

Ok sorry....pity party over, just wanted to vent

 

[Lucia]

curlycrocheter

You don't have to give up, if you want to wear your hair straight for a while, try cutting back the amount of heat you use. Use an anti.frizz serum, along with your heat protectant, or if you don't like cones, use coconut oil, or avocado oil which has a really high smoke point, try air drying in a couple braids during the day or overnight then straighten once your hair is dry, that will cut out having to blow dry and flat iron overall less heat. or just blow dry no flat iron, roller set, or blow dry on cool, and try to use heat max 2x a month, once a month would be better though.

Now what you have to figure out is does you hair like being straight that often or is curly best for your hair health? I mean you may want one thing but your hair is not strong, coarse or thick enough to take that kind of abuse on the regular, you see what I mean. So you have to work with your hair not against it, until you work with your hair it's just going to be a losing battle.

What are you hair journey goals, healthy hair no matter what length or do you have a length goal? That has to be balanced with your wanting to wear straight hair.
And it takes weeks and months to reverse heat damage, it doesn't happen overnight, you have to PS, deep condition alternate protein and moisturizing DC treatments.

What helps when you're about to give up is hot oil before you CW or shampoo, hot oil every time you're going to CW or shampoo or at least every week, EVCO, is the BEST 2nd best is EVOO. Whenever my hair is feeling dry or off, I do more Hot oil treatments I basically soak my hair in oil and let it sit also I up my Dc-ing and PS-ing. Also are you a shampoo user or co washer? It makes a HUGE difference in the moisture, health of your hair especially the ends, less splits and SSKs. HTH HHG

http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/collectedinfo/oilsmokepoints.htm

 

[curlycrocheter]

Thanks for the suggestions. It's not heat damage I'm suffering from.

My issue is shed hair & ssk tangling in my hair when it's in it's curly state. I DC with a steamer religiously & cowash frequently. I moisturize & seal every time I get my hair wet (which is 3-4 times a week)

I grew my hair to almost WL by straightening 2x a month. My goal is definitely length, but my hair is healthy when I straighten it. I only have these problems when I go heatless.

 

[30something]

oh girl you sound just like me!
What made you want to kick the heat to the curb anyway?

 

[FroFab]

This was me last fall. After cutting 5 inches and being in PS mode most of the year, I want my inches and health or else I'm thinking of heading back to texlaxing.

 

[curlycrocheter]

20Something IDK. It's a phase I go through every few years. :shrug: I don't even like volume in my hair & my curly hair is HUGE.

But I can't deal with the ssk, the tangles, the matts, having to wet my hair everyday. It's tiring. I just feel defeated when dealing with my hair in it's naturally curly state :/

 

[Ogoma]

All the time you are wasting being frustrated with your hair, you would not get back. If you do not like your hair in its curly state, straighten it. If you have achieved your goal before using heat regularly, why torture yourself for absolutely no reason?

 

[curlycrocheter]

All the time you are wasting being frustrated with your hair, you would not get back. If you do not like your hair in its curly state, straighten it. If you have achieved your goal before using heat regularly, why torture yourself for absolutely no reason?

I guess I keep doing the same thing, hoping to get different results (the epitome of insanity, I know). I like my curly hair, it's just difficult to keep up with.

I get so inspired when I see all these beautiful curly styles & then my hair reminds me it don't like that

I am vowing to stop torturing myself today!

 

[discodumpling]

The only time my hair acts right lately is if I ignore it...so try that!

 

[virtuenow]

What products do you use/what is your regimen. I'm still trying to figure out why so many people have ssk's that are my texture (4b/c) and I do not. But with such a loose texture, as per you picture, I'm quite surprised you are also plagued. I'd like to help you figure out any alternatives to being heat reliant (story of my HHJ). Heat for leisure & style-- yes; but heat as a necessity-- no. There has to be another way.

 

[curlycrocheter]

My curly hair regi is to DC (I'm not loyal to any one DC), moisturize with a leave-in/moisturizer (I really like the Hairitage Hydrations ones right now) & seal with either oil, or Njoi Creations Coconut Hair pomade.

Then I stretch to dry & I usually wear my hair up in a bun with a scarf. I have been paying extra close attention to my ends when I M&S, but I still get knots. It's like my hair knots exponentially. Or mats. They plague me when I wear my hair curly.

 

[Lucia]

curlycrocheter

What is your regimen? products and technique for wearing your hair curly?

 

[Amarilles]

How often are you detangling and how? I kinda find that so many of us are afraid to really get in there while detangling. If you're detangling less than once per week, try increasing that. If you're doing so once or more per week, try detangling more extensively.

I personally cannot rest until I get every single shed hair from my sections. I finger-detangle pretty much throughout wash day, lastly followed by the Denman on all 4 angles of the sections. I dislike the word "detangling" because my hair isn't ever tangled, I'm just removing shed hair. I also do not have any SSK issues and I attribute that to removing shed hair well, every 7-8 days when I wash my hair works for me. Try removing all that shed and they will bother you less throughout your week.

 

[curlycrocheter]

My curly hair regi is to DC (I'm not loyal to any one DC), moisturize with a leave-in/moisturizer (I really like the Hairitage Hydrations ones right now) & seal with either oil, or Njoi Creations Coconut Hair pomade.

Then I stretch to dry & I usually wear my hair up in a bun with a scarf. I have been paying extra close attention to my ends when I M&S, but I still get knots. It's like my hair knots exponentially. Or mats. They plague me when I wear my hair curly.

Lucia this is my regi ^^^ for the most part.

I usually wear my hair in a bun. Buns are my go to style, but they can get boring. It is almost impossible for me to get second day hair, so I have to saturate my hair to restyle. I hate walking around with wet hair & it takes close to 2 days for my hair to dry.

I detangle thoroughly every time I wet my hair, otherwise the shed hairs mat & wreak havoc. I've tried everything. The tightly curly method, twists, box braids. No matter what I do.

My hair is healthy. The only damage to my hair is the ends where the knots are.

 

[Lucia]

curlycrocheter

I'm thinking your knots are due to not setting the hair esp the ends with product gel or butter and or not detangling often enough I find if I wait more than a week to cw detangle I will have more ssks I've gotten to the point where I hardly have any ssks but that took some effort also when wearing my hair down I make sure my ends are well coated with conditioner or gel oil butter something to set my ends or I twist the ends around my tigers so they clump

Actually I'm curious to try the no product wash n go ???? erplexed

 

[KittyMeowMeow]

How are you stretching when drying? Is your hair still essentially WNG, but just stretched? I am also type 3, and WNG and/or banding/wet bunning were too many SSKs/tangling for me. I get my hair completely smooth and combed under running water, then then braid in 3 braids to dry.

If most of the SSKs are coming during the wash process (prob as a result of WNG?), maybe washing less?

I detangle daily to every other day (on hair lightly spritzed with water) - if I go too long, I get major tangles/SSKs. It looks like you have fine hair (?) - many ladies w/ fine hair also have the same issue.

As well, I regularly SND. If I feel an SSK or damaged strand or section that feels rough while detangling, I find the bad hair(s) and trim it out. Damaged hairs & SSKs catch on good hairs, compounding the damage, and keeping up with it means it doesn't take long.

What about SNDing all the SSKs? It will take a little while, but you worked a year for that length, and if the rest of your hair is healthy, no need to waste it!

 

[curlycrocheter]

curlycrocheter

I'm thinking your knots are due to not setting the hair esp the ends with product gel or butter and or not detangling often enough I find if I wait more than a week to cw detangle I will have more ssks I've gotten to the point where I hardly have any ssks but that took some effort also when wearing my hair down I make sure my ends are well coated with conditioner or gel oil butter something to set my ends or I twist the ends around my tigers so they clump

Actually I'm curious to try the no product wash n go ???? erplexed

Lucia I thought so too, but I've been trying to pay extra close attention to my ends. I called myself addressing it before it became a problem.

After applying my moisturizer, I was sealing with a grease. And again, paying close attention to my ends, doing it in small sections, going over my whole head thoroughly. I thought that was gonna help, but it hasn't.

 

[DarkJoy]

curlycrocheter, I dont see trims and dustings as part of your regular regimen? if the ends have tiny micro splits (which is normal wear and tear) they could be tangling on your other hairs and creating those ssks.

Even 1/4" dusting every 2 months might help with your knot issues...

 

[PureSilver]

I give up. I'm at my wits end. I keep trying to say that I'm gonna leave the heat alone & when I do I get sucked right back in!

I have flat ironed my hair maybe twice this year & I'm on the brink of a major setback.

I get such bad ssk's, they are sometimes 2-3 inches up the strand or there are multiple knots on 1 strand.

I've tried heavy sealing, I've tried wearing twists, & protective styling. I'm done.

I don't know why I keep trying to make myself feel guilty for preferring to wear my hair straight. It's what works for me. This happens every single time. Last time I did this, I had to cut 5 inches of hair. Today I plan on straightening & getting rid of at least 3 inches of hair.

That's this entire year's progress

Ok sorry....pity party over, just wanted to vent

I have the same problems with flat ironing as a natural too. I've decided to leave the heat alone and i've only straightened 2X since being natural.

Maybe i will use a pressing comb the next time i decide to, that's if i dont cave in and relax before that happens.

I dont have a solution for yu but do what works for you and BTW i love your hair.

 

[GreenBloodyShoe]

Maybe you can try a vinegar rinse with either white vinegar or apple cider vinegar diluted in water to get rid of tangles. I did one today after shampooing and conditioning with honey and my hair feels so soft and detangled. You may also want to add a pre shampoo hot oil treatment to your hair care routine. You can massage the warm oil into your hair and scalp and then use either your fingers or a wide tooth comb to detangle. Washing, moisturizing and sealing your hair in sections should also help. If you air dry your natural hair, you might want to try to keep it stretched so it doesn't tangle back on itself. Twists, braids, buns, ponytails and Bantu knots should all work.

Since you want to wear your hair straight, you can try either just blow drying it or just flat ironing it. Even better you may want to learn how to roller set your hair. Whatever you do, just be sure to use a high quality heat protectant and use the lowest temperature you can. An alternative to all this would be getting a BKT or Brazilian Keratin Treatment that will allow you to straighten your hair more easily without permanently changing your natural hair texture.

 

[havilland]

you need to use "curls" the way alot of use "heat" SPARINGLY!!!!

if it doesn't work for you WHY on earth would you keep doing it????

Girl, welcome back to sanity. We love you. You are among friendS. Friends tell the truth. So stop the madness. Straighten your hair 2x a month. Stay up on your deep conditioning and heat protection game and wear your curls 2-3 times A YEAR.

 

[havilland]

What products do you use/what is your regimen. I'm still trying to figure out why so many people have ssk's that are my texture (4b/c) and I do not. But with such a loose texture, as per you picture, I'm quite surprised you are also plagued. I'd like to help you figure out any alternatives to being heat reliant (story of my HHJ). Heat for leisure & style-- yes; but heat as a necessity-- no. There has to be another way.

i respectfully disagree.

i have 3c hair and the strands tangle up on each other and can be a huge nightmare when i wear wash n goes. just last month i had to cut a 15 inch strand of hair down to a nub due to a big *** knot.

my sister has 4a/4b strands and has WAY LESS PROBLEMS with her hair in it's natural curly state than i do. she wears wash n goes every day and her hair is healthy as heck. She is always preaching to me about how my "white girl" hair is not that serious and i must be doing something wrong if i get tangles etc...... i try to explain to her that i know MY hair and this is what MY hair does. i literally get mad sometimes when she accuses me of not knowing my hair and doing something wrong. i am not doing anything wrong. my hair doesn't like wash n gos. not as a staple anyway. the tangles and ssk and hair i have had to cut proves it. my 3c hair is healthy, well conditioned, moisturized, protein balanced and stronger than it has ever been BUT doesn't like to be free.

why is that so hard for some ladies to understand? every head comes with it's own set of likes and dislikes.

there are plenty of ladies on this board that use heat regularly and have maintained good retention. (I am not one of them.) so seeing is believing. i think if this young lady has had good results with heat and bad results with air drying, she should go for what she knows.