I give up!! - Venting - Head Hurts

[Zeal]

Ladies:

There is a verse in the Bible. I think it is in Corinthians. Someone showed it to me and it said if someone says the are “saved” and they are in sin and you tell them about it and they continue, you are supposed to separate your self from the person. Those are not the exact words, but that it what it says. Does anyone know where the passage is located?

I am sad and mad. I have a headache now.

I have a friend who says that she loves the Lord and is saved. However, she keeps making the same mistake over and over and over gain. And has for years. My Mom always says, “make new mistakes”.

My friend always says that she prays about the decisions she makes. And God told her it was Ok. However, I know that is a lie straight from the pit and she is deceived. I know the difference between really wanting to do something and God saying that it is OK.

God don’t bless no mess. God will not give you permission to do stuff that he does not like or approve all. You are praying and making your own decisions. I don’t want to go into too many details. My head is hurting right now. I just finished chatting with her and this is getting old. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore. We used to talk a lot and share many things between each other. I am ready to cut her off.

 

[star]

Don't say anything just let her talk and be the best example. She knows the truth but the pain of facing it is so painful that she says out right lies. This will frustrate her those around her but she will continue to decieve herself until she gives delivered in Jesus name denial is a form of mental illness. Some people will have to hit rock bottom to get it together. Your job will be to be love her with God's love and be example. If she keeps bring up lies and you do not say anything eventually she will drop the convesation or like some continue to drill in down in you. If you find her drilling it and not moving to another conversation cut the the conversation short she will know that when she talks to you that it better not be about say o' foolish lies. Also, I find with people like this I either give them the silent treatment or scriptures and the scriptures gets them running.

Try www.biblegateway.com for scripture reference I know exactly the one you are referring but not sure of exact verse. If you are stressed and NEED to let go then do what is best for YOU do not let person like this drain you.

 

[Zeal]

Star! I have given her scripture in the past. I even "typed" a 4 page letter. She did not talk to me in a while. That was about 4 years ago. Maybe more and here we go again. I am not perfect! We all make mistakes. But as Mom says please make new ones. And if you do make the same one, at least let some years pass by. Don't move from one frying pan to the next.

I have not talked to her in a while. I just so happen to see her on chat. So I sent a message. She tells me of a decision she made. I usually don't say anything. I just keep quiet. That is what I was doing.

When she falls she is going to call me and then I have to have a tension headache. I do love her but I do not support her decision.

I don't want to be held accountable. I'll just keep praying.

 

[Denim And Leather]

It sounds like your friend has not completely surrendered to God. Whether she's truly saved or not, I cannot say, but Jesus did say that by a person's fruits, we will know who are His disciples. I can imagine how frustrating it is to watch someone you love to do what your friend has been doing.

I think you should just keep your distance from your friend, like Star suggested, because you already spoke to her, it's not like she hasn't been warned. And plus, this is wreaking havoc on you, you can't be good if dealing with this friend is effecting your health in a bad way.

Keep praying for her that God will allow whatever it takes to get your friend to cry out to Him, even if it means to hit rock bottom, and that she will finally surrender her will to His.

And just like Star said, when she hits rock bottom, make sure you'll be there for her to lean on.

BTW, that Scripture is 1 Corinthians 5.

I hope this helps!

 

[Zeal]

Thank you for advice. I will take heed. We actually live in different states so staying away will not be difficult. However, just listening makes myhead hurt. Things are good now with her form what she tells me. I just hope no drama is coming. But history repeats itself. However, you all have my word that I will just listen.

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Zeal its seems as though you are headed on the right track now. Just listen. My best friend called me with a decision today that she made and I am not happy about it. We have discussed her situation so many times but she has decided to move forward with the plans that she know will cause destruction. But that is her life. If she falls then i will be there to listen but not to tell her "I told you so". That would not be a good friend on my part. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves out of other people situations and let whatever the issue is, be between them and God. I have my own issues and I am trying to soar higher in Christ. You can love your friend but also don't let her drain you. You have a life to live in Christ and just realize that maybe your friend hasn't made it to the point that you are at. Maybe she is a little immature? Think about it.

 

[poetist]

Zeal, I feel you pain, however, let me give my 2 cents as I just had a Sunday School lesson about this. We were reading out of Corinthians but I can't remember which chapter. Anyhow, our Sunday School teacher was saying that we are soooooo quick to judge how long WE THINK it should take for someone else to get over there issue. So, for instance, I have a friend who sounds like yours. She's been going thru the same stuff for some time now and she knows it wrong. However, now that she saved, I think she should be over that issue. She claims she loves God, right? So what's the problem?

Well, there's no debate that her lifestlye isn't lining up with Gods word. But the real question, is what about me? I have put a time limit on when she should come out of HER sin because it's not MY issue. Her issue is something that has never tempted me, so it's hard to understand her constant involvement. To me it seems so simple...so logical, because it's not MY issue. It's not MY struggle. But, SURELY I have my own issues/struggles. The question is - Do I get as angry and frustrated with myself about MY issue as I do my friend about HER issue? DO I even recognize MY issue? Maybe because I think my sins and struggles are more subtle than my friends that they're less harmful or offensive to God? My struggle may be something I do behind closed doors, it may be my thoughts, or something else that I think is LESS offensive than what my friend is doing. But in God's sight, it's still sin. No less offensive than what my friend is doing.

I feel what your mom is saying, but IMHO I don't think God makes a distinction between new sinful habits and old sinful habits. It's not like- my friend is worse off (in God';s sight) bc she has this one particular sin that she can't shake, whereas I have different sins or make "new mistakes" each month. I ALWAYS think that it should be so simple for others to stop doing things - but from last weeks Sunday School lesson, I heard God saying: Poetist, you;ve put time limits on how long YOU think it should take other folks to get over there issues, simply because you don't share in there struggle. But You are not Me (me being GOD). Furthermore, you have issues of your own that you need to work on. What if I put a time limit on you? What if I were impatient with you? Needless to say, I felt very convicted. I know this was long, but I hope it helps.

 

[Blossssom]

Unequally yoked applied to more than just husband and wife.

 

[Laginappe]

Unequally yoked applied to more than just husband and wife.

Say it again.

 

[Blossssom]

When does a mistake stop being a mistake and starts being a decision? That's what I want to know.

 

[Laginappe]

When does a mistake stop being a mistake and starts being a decision? That's what I want to know.

Sounds like a perfect title for a new thread....

 

[Shimmie]

Ladies:

There is a verse in the Bible. I think it is in Corinthians. Someone showed it to me and it said if someone says the are “saved” and they are in sin and you tell them about it and they continue, you are supposed to separate your self from the person. Those are not the exact words, but that it what it says. Does anyone know where the passage is located?

I am sad and mad. I have a headache now.

I have a friend who says that she loves the Lord and is saved. However, she keeps making the same mistake over and over and over gain. And has for years. My Mom always says, “make new mistakes”.

My friend always says that she prays about the decisions she makes. And God told her it was Ok. However, I know that is a lie straight from the pit and she is deceived. I know the difference between really wanting to do something and God saying that it is OK.

God don’t bless no mess. God will not give you permission to do stuff that he does not like or approve all. You are praying and making your own decisions. I don’t want to go into too many details. My head is hurting right now. I just finished chatting with her and this is getting old. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore. We used to talk a lot and share many things between each other. I am ready to cut her off.

The scripture is I Corinthians 5:11:

"But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person."

Reason #1: God wants to deal with her one-on-one; which is the reason being for 'us' to step out of the way. For only He knows the path to her heart and what it takes to bring her completely out of 'this.'

Reason #2: In her mindset, knowing that you love her, she will always malipulate your love for her to justify her choices; hoping to 'win' you over to her side. Causing you more 'grief' and unsettling emotions. God doesn't want you to endure this stress.

Reason #3: The time you spend thinking / worrying and trying to 'deal' with her, is a distraction of the enemy to hinder your progress in Jesus.

Reason #4: God is preparing you, building you up for what it will take to 'help' restore her when she comes to that point of deliverance. Right now, her situation has drained you to where you need to be replenished.

Jesus did this all the time. He had to. He separated Himself from the crowds and the deciples to be alone with the Father. He, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of the only Living God, needed to be restored for He was in this earthen flesh which dries out without the consistant watering of the Holy Spirit. We in His express image in this earth are like so.

Lovingly let her go. You have to tell her so and why. Let her know that you are still with her keeping her lovingly covered in prayer and that you will be there for her when the time comes to restore and build her up. The Holy Spirit who so lovingly dwells on the inside of you, will prompt you when...each time. For this is special His project and you have been His select choice for Him to trust to do it His way and no other.

Zeal, take heed to your name. For this name was not selected or given to you in vain. You are a Zeal to the Father's heart and a Zeal you are to all you come into association, no matter how brief.

In Romans 10:1, you have a Zeal for other's salvation (your friend and others). In I Corithians 14:12, you have a Zeal for Spiritual Gifts. In Titus 2:14, you have a Zeal for doing good works.

A Zeal you are to your friend, for it is the Zeal within you that she knows is real and that which she also desires to have. It just takes time. Salvation is a process for all of us.

One may ask, how do I (Shimmie) know this. I had to let go of my son. And out of my sight and out of my geographical range, God kept His promises and brought my son completely around, without anything other than my loving prayers.

Stay strong, for you have the Zeal within you to do so.

"Love, Shimmie..."

 

[star]

Star! I have given her scripture in the past. I even "typed" a 4 page letter. She did not talk to me in a while. That was about 4 years ago. Maybe more and here we go again. I am not perfect! We all make mistakes. But as Mom says please make new ones. And if you do make the same one, at least let some years pass by. Don't move from one frying pan to the next.

I have not talked to her in a while. I just so happen to see her on chat. So I sent a message. She tells me of a decision she made. I usually don't say anything. I just keep quiet. That is what I was doing.

When she falls she is going to call me and then I have to have a tension headache. I do love her but I do not support her decision.

I don't want to be held accountable. I'll just keep praying.

I went through this too with a girl that everytime she fell in sin she would call me and cry about it. We would stay on phone for hours. This girl only use me for my encourgement, scriptures etc. You will not be accountable you have done above beyond and if you decide to move on God will not be mad and it may be what she needs to have no one to fall on but God. You do not deserve getting a tension headache from a needy person who wants to just drain you but will not listen to your advice. I have a rule now that after I have said something several times I move on and even if the person brings it up I give them no response or I just tell them my answer is the same thing I told you before and move the conversation on.

 

[Sweet C]

Zeal, I want to encourage you not to get frustrated. It seems to me that from what you have said, this young lady is in need of deliverance. I believe your prayer (and mine as well) for this young lady is that the Lord remove the scales from her eyes so she can see the destructive pattern that keeps reoccuring in her life for what it is, and see SIN as SIN and address it as such.

Tell her the truth, pray that the scales fall, and when they do, and she still doesn't listen, just keep her in prayer and keep moving. Don't get angry or frustrated, b/c sometimes God allow people to stay in these type of situations to humble them to truly seek his face. You can't continue to cast pearls before swine (Mt 7:6).

I had a friend who was going through a situation with her bf. From what she had told me about him, I was deeply concerned b/c some things didn't sit right in my spirit. Well, later on I found out why. He had all these issues that he did not inform her about when they had started dating. When she found out, she confronted him, and he acted like it wasn't that big of a deal. She was hurt, devasted, but not enough to let him go. I kept thinking in my mind "Hello!!!! What more proof do you need?", but still I took it in prayer. Well needless to say, more things happened, and those things I guess turned on something, b/c that is when she let him go. When she told me this, I kept her encouraged, and reminded her that though she is hurting, God will get the glory out of it, b/c this testimony can be used to help deliver someone else in the same/similiar situation.

 

[Zeal]

Zeal, I feel you pain, however, let me give my 2 cents as I just had a Sunday School lesson about this. We were reading out of Corinthians but I can't remember which chapter. Anyhow, our Sunday School teacher was saying that we are soooooo quick to judge how long WE THINK it should take for someone else to get over there issue. So, for instance, I have a friend who sounds like yours. She's been going thru the same stuff for some time now and she knows it wrong. However, now that she saved, I think she should be over that issue. She claims she loves God, right? So what's the problem?

Well, there's no debate that her lifestlye isn't lining up with Gods word. But the real question, is what about me? I have put a time limit on when she should come out of HER sin because it's not MY issue. Her issue is something that has never tempted me, so it's hard to understand her constant involvement. To me it seems so simple...so logical, because it's not MY issue. It's not MY struggle. But, SURELY I have my own issues/struggles. The question is - Do I get as angry and frustrated with myself about MY issue as I do my friend about HER issue? DO I even recognize MY issue? Maybe because I think my sins and struggles are more subtle than my friends that they're less harmful or offensive to God? My struggle may be something I do behind closed doors, it may be my thoughts, or something else that I think is LESS offensive than what my friend is doing. But in God's sight, it's still sin. No less offensive than what my friend is doing.

I feel what your mom is saying, but IMHO I don't think God makes a distinction between new sinful habits and old sinful habits. It's not like- my friend is worse off (in God';s sight) bc she has this one particular sin that she can't shake, whereas I have different sins or make "new mistakes" each month. I ALWAYS think that it should be so simple for others to stop doing things - but from last weeks Sunday School lesson, I heard God saying: Poetist, you;ve put time limits on how long YOU think it should take other folks to get over there issues, simply because you don't share in there struggle. But You are not Me (me being GOD). Furthermore, you have issues of your own that you need to work on. What if I put a time limit on you? What if I were impatient with you? Needless to say, I felt very convicted. I know this was long, but I hope it helps.

I understand everything that you are saying. I am not judging her. I just want her if anything to love herself. As I stated in my first post. Lord knows that I have issues. And i havenot arrived. I am the first to admit that. But I am not going to pray for something "that I know straight up (is out of God's will) and end the prayer, "in Jesus' name." I have in the past. But Ipaise and thank god that he said NO! And he made me listen.

I know that all have sinned and fall short. I just don't want to get a Holy Ghost beat down. It hurts! I ain't trying to go out like that. I just want the best for her. I am not giving her a limit. It's just that when she calls me crying. I ask her, what would you tell me to do? She always has the correct answer. I know that it is very easy to give advice but sometimes difficult to follow. I just want the best for her and I am frustrated. I will keep praying. I know that God answers prayer. After all I did for a friend to come to the Lord for 10+ years before they came.

When does a mistake stop being a mistake and starts being a decision? That's what I want to know.

This is a very profound question. And yes, unequally yoked does not just mean husband and wife.

I really don't give up on her. I am just upset. I have cried over this. Not his time but the last time. The last time I called her father and talked to him crying on the phone. He too was upset.

Thank you ladies for your encouragement.

 

[Shimmie]

I understand everything that you are saying. I am not judging her. I just want her if anything to love herself. As I stated in my first post. Lord knows that I have issues. And i havenot arrived. I am the first to admit that. But I am not going to pray for something "that I know straight up (is out of God's will) and end the prayer, "in Jesus' name." I have in the past. But Ipaise and thank god that he said NO! And he made me listen.

I know that all have sinned and fall short. I just don't want to get a Holy Ghost beat down. It hurts! I ain't trying to go out like that. I just want the best for her. I am not giving her a limit. It's just that when she calls me crying. I ask her, what would you tell me to do? She always has the correct answer. I know that it is very easy to give advice but sometimes difficult to follow. I just want the best for her and I am frustrated. I will keep praying. I know that God answers prayer. After all I did for a friend to come to the Lord for 10+ years before they came.



This is a very profound question. And yes, unequally yoked does not just mean husband and wife.

I really don't give up on her. I am just upset. I have cried over this. Not his time but the last time. The last time I called her father and talked to him crying on the phone. He too was upset.

Thank you ladies for your encouragement.

It's going to be all right. For the ferverent prayers of the Righteous availeth much. We here with you do much availing... for you and your friend.

So now, let's put this issue to rest for you've given it your best. It's your time to be ministered to; to be replenished and restored for much more does your Father in Heaven have waiting to deposit in you...clear waters, fresh and new...

It's time for Zeal...

"Love, Shimmie..."