I forgave, but I can't seem to forget.

[Koffie]

I had some ill will done to me as a child and it is something that has scarred me emotionally for the longest. When I first went to college, I saw the guy that inflicted this pain on me, and many times through out my life, I have cried about it and have been mentally tourmented with this issue. (elem., High school, and junior high)

I would be a lie if I said that if he tried to do what he did again, I wouldn't KILL him, because in my heart I know I would.

I don't think I can bear that pain again.
I know, I know

Thou shalt not kill, and Love thy enemies, but if thy enemy attack should I not defend myself at any means neccesary?

He never apoligized either, and got off scott free for it. I told his mother, but she didn't believe me.

Am I wrong to hurt the way I do?

 

[AngelicRose07]

i personally think your feelings are justified.just because you forgive someone, it doesnt mean you have to forget their actions and act like it never happened.

whatever went down DID happen, and i would actually think something was wrong if you COULD easily overcome that burden.

maybe if you got some kind of counseling, you could learn how to better deal with the hurt?

 

[Koffie]

Thanks so much weave, I thought I must've been so unGodly to have this feeling. You know how Christians tell you to forgive and let go of the past. Well it is easier SAID than done.

 

[star]

We all are given the time by God to grieve. But through grieveing comes healing at the end. If you never stop grieving you never get healed. This is not to say that you still do not have some sort of pain left but the magintude or depth of the pain is more bearable. The best way to forgive people is to move on and not to nurse or rehearse the problem. If you keep bringing up old wounds the hurt will try to resurface. It is hard however, when you see the person. But seeing the person is part of the healing process. Once you see someone who has afflicted trauma in your life this lets you know where still are with the pain. Again this does not mean do not feel any pain at all but where is the main within you: high, medium or low. God often takes up back to place of hurt to help us get through it. We must alway confront our giants in life and God give us the strength and love to get through. As you pray for yourself and the accuser that God will heal him and you. As you demonstate the power of love and forgivness this authorizes God to bless even the more. Out of greatest tragedy becomes opportunity to share, heal and help others get through. Thanks for sharing and know you are on your journey of total healing of the mind, body and soul. Just remember hurting people hurt people. Heal people help others become healed like them.

I went through a childhood trauma also in losing my parents and God had me write a book about it and go around the country sharing my story. My greastest pain has brought me my sweetest blessing.

 

[Koffie]

I am soo glad you responded star. I always love your feed back.

 

[star]

Thanks for you kind words to God be the glory. I will putting you before the Lord knowing that He is going to take GOOD care of you.

I am soo glad you responded star. I always love your feed back.

 

[mrselle]

You've gotten some wonderful feed back here. I just wanted to add that you're feelings are justified. Just because you are still hurting doesn’t mean that you’re a horrible person. When we experience something traumatic it stays with us for the rest of our lives and becomes a part of who we are. The devil means it for your bad, but God can use what you went through for your good!!!

I have often struggled with “forgive and forget”, but one day God put it in my spirit that we should forgive people, but it is humanly impossible to actually forget. I think when God says “forget” he means that we should go on with our lives and when we see the person who wronged us we should treat them as though nothing ever happened. That doesn’t mean that you have to be his best friend, or go out to lunch with him or even hold a conversation with him. The devil wants you to hold on to the pain, but tell the devil that he is a liar. Walk in victory, hold your head up high, and if you see this person again look him dead in the eye, say hello and keep moving. This will let him and the devil know that they don’t have any power over you!

 

[NapturalGlory]

That's why we need to stop and pray for people because you never know who the devil will target next! Keep watch and pray for folks - even just a quick word to God in earnest! Pray and believe for people to be blessed and saved so that they may have the spirit of the Holy Ghost as a comfort, covering and PROTECTION about them throughout the path of their lives.

God Bless You! Keep praying to God for peace in abundance and have FAITH not fear so that you can be stronger than the spirit of pain.

 

[sugaplum]

I know what you mean, Koffie, and what a wonderfull thread.

My uncle was shot and killed by his next door neighbor over a parking space!! My uncle's killer got off scott-free (made bail and all) and is out living his his life like nothing happened.

For years and years, I've dealt with this and seeing this man face-to-face in court keeps playing over and over again in my mind. I've had ill thoughts and incentives towards this man that I never knew. All I knew was that he was a killer and did not deserve to be alive.

But now I can say that I have been delivered from this. I've had to forgive him for what he done to my uncle so I can move on with my life. I later found out that the devil will feed off of this until you think you have nothing left but hate, anger, and hurt.

As your sister, I can say that I understand your hurt and pain. I understand all about the forgiveness, the hardest part is to forget. But I can tell you that everytime the thoughts came up I rebuked them in Jesus name, and just like that...the thoughts are gone. God Bless you sister.

 

[Koffie]

I know what you mean, Koffie, and what a wonderfull thread.

My uncle was shot and killed by his next door neighbor over a parking space!! My uncle's killer got off scott-free (made bail and all) and is out living his his life like nothing happened.

For years and years, I've dealt with this and seeing this man face-to-face in court keeps playing over and over again in my mind. I've had ill thoughts and incentives towards this man that I never knew. All I knew was that he was a killer and did not deserve to be alive.

But now I can say that I have been delivered from this. I've had to forgive him for what he done to my uncle so I can move on with my life. I later found out that the devil will feed off of this until you think you have nothing left but hate, anger, and hurt.

As your sister,:I can say that I understand your hurt and pain. I understand all about the forgiveness, the hardest part is to forget. But I can tell you that everytime the thoughts came up I rebuked them in Jesus name, and just like that...the thoughts are gone. God Bless you sister.

Thank you :Rose:

My person also got off scott-free

I talked to my guy friend about it, and he told me that the longer I harbor the hurt and evil thoughts toward this person, the longer it would take for his punishement to surface.
He told me to live my life, and when I least expect it, justice would be served and I remembered that God is a fair God. Also that one must reap what one sows.