"i Bring A Lot To The Table"

[FemmeFatale]

I often wonder what women mean when they say this to men or during conversations regarding dating. What do you mean when you say this?

I'm asking because I don't consider the basics to be "a lot to the table", but maybe I'm just crazy.

 

[moda]

I've never needed to say this because when you "bring a lot to the table" people know without you having to tell them.

 

[Menina Preta]

That I am:
Smart
Ambitious
Talented
Educated
Beautiful
Fun-loving
Engaging
Healthy
Good-spirited
Etc.

Basically, it means I bring way more than the basics to any relationship. However, I've never said that exact phrase to a man I just started dating. I assume he knows that, as I show him that I bring a lot by just being me. Always think of yourself as the "catch" in the relationship, so that you are treated well.

 

[SelahOco]

I would live to hear a man's reaction to a woman saying that in a conversation. It seems like such an unnatural and forced thing to say.

 

[ava2]

I once got cornered into answering that question. I attempted to list what I had to offer and stopped dead in my tracks... It just felt wrong. Like, I was selling myself to him! And haven't addressed it since.

Somethings you should know for yourself. Knowing what you have to offer is important especially in establishing a sense of worth and understanding your value but running it down, making it plain, spelling it out for a man? Um, no.

 

[Menina Preta]

I would live to hear a man's reaction to a woman saying that in a conversation. It seems like such an unnatural and forced thing to say.

Clearly, that's why I would run the other way if a man said that to me...

Kinda unrelated...

Nowadays, I feel like too many of us, Black women, do not know our worth and tie our self esteem to a man's interest in us. That's why in convos with our sister friends I think it's a good idea to remind each other how much we do actually bring to these tables, so we remember our worth and act accordingly, so that the men in our lives treat us properly. I feel like the way you carry yourself and certain things you say/do should make it clear to a man how he should be approaching/dealing with you...

 

[JayAnn0513]

I would live to hear a man's reaction to a woman saying that in a conversation. It seems like such an unnatural and forced thing to say.

It's like who are you trying to convince??

Sent from my iPhone

 

[FemmeFatale]

I would live to hear a man's reaction to a woman saying that in a conversation. It seems like such an unnatural and forced thing to say.

Yeah I feel the same way about that, I'd rather let those qualities shine through as Menina Preta stated.

 

[Ogoma]

Like everyone else, I would side eye any woman or man that said that. I would be wondering what it is they are trying to hide.

My SO knows well the qualitative attributes I bring to the table so it would be unnecessary to list them, and anything quantative is solely for my table so there is no point in bringing his attention to it.

 

[AlekHidell]

I don't know about saying that on a date (how bizarre!) or rattling off a list of accomplishments, but I have had single guy friends say they have seen online dating profiles that were basically resumes and they found it a turnoff--like the women were saying how dare you pass me up. These were mostly women over like 27-28 or so, and the men tended to date as young as possible over the drinking age, as far as online. For closer to their age, they felt they were surrounded in real life by plenty of women.

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[LiftedUp]

I think "a lot to the table" will be different in some relationships than others. I honestly don't think that their are basics.

 

[JayAnn0513]

I think "a lot to the table" will be different in some relationships than others. I honestly don't think that their are basics.

That's a good point. What's basic to me might be excessive to you. I still don't think it's an appropriate question to ask. If you want to know get to know me and you will find out.

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