i am so tired

[chebaby]

sorry i know this does not apply to all but i get so tired of women complaining and pulling the race card when a clear person asks if their hair is real.
how do you know that they really want to know because they have been misimformed about african american hair they same way we have before we found LHCF.
instead of getting offended or upset why dont you just educate them the same way we have had to educate each other that black hair can grow instead of assuming that they are being racist just because they happened to be of another race.
just had to vent sorry

 

[Pheonixx]

Well I guess this relates to some other thread or comment that got under your skin---but I'll answer the question in a general fashion.

1. Some ppl ain't got no home training. I have never and would NEVER come out my mouth to ask someone (a stranger nonetheless) whether or not they were wearing a wig. What kind of a question is that...?

2. Everyone who asks ignorant and/or offensive questions isn't wellmeaning.
Some ppl are just a**holes!
You know the difference when you encounter them.

3. Actually---if non-blacks (white folks) ask I could readily forgive them their ignorance. They ain't black and most likely didn't grow around black girls who had long hair. So I don't expect them to understand. Specially when a lotta black folks don't.
Truth be told the only ppl who ask me these questions are BLACK FOLKS. Whites compliment my hair. They just assume it's mine.

4. I get a little bothered with the wig question. I mean--you see a sista with long hair and/or a healthy thick looking head of hair and she HAS to be wearing a wig? Why is that? Would you ask a non-black that question?
That's like telling someone they have 'good hair'. What exactly are you trying to say, here?
It's along the same lines as telling me that I'm 'pretty for a darkskin girl'. I don't know how anyone cld confuse THAT for a compliment (FYI: I have not heard that comment since I was 11, btw. Most men compliment my skintone.).

It's just backhanded compliments across the board. Now I have explained black hair growth to a couple of whites. I've talked to a lotta black folks about our 'internal issues'-- good/bad hair being one of them. BUT....in general---unless I personally know the individual I'm not gon' take it upon myself to be educating ppl. I don't have a whole lotta patience--therefore ppl generally know when they irk me. I don't have time for a**holes and stupidity.
Nobody. I don't care if you're black, yella, red, white or other.
Oh well...
If you want to be 'educated' I'm not your girl like that. Read a book--Barnes and Nobles is full of them.

Some ppl may not like that way of thinking but then again---I don't particularly care what 'some' ppl think. Thus---and yet again I say, "Oh well..."
Of course you don't just bite ppls heads off--your response depends on the situation.

BUT---it's black folks that make these comments in my experiences and THAT is sad. So...
If you ask me about my wig-like hair I'll be sure to ask you a few questions--because I'm curious like that.
If someone told me I was pretty to be darkskinned, I'd make one smart-ass comment and walk away
(because ppl like that are just sickening and in general too ignorant to be taken seriously. They don't deserve energy),
"I don't have an issue with brown skin and I think that's because unlike you 'Sambo' I don't MIND being black! But since you brought it up just how light does a black woman have to be to be considered beautiful to your whitewashed eyes?"

I'll draw attention to the 'good hair topic too (if brought up by the other person).
Of course everyone isn't an insensitive jerk. Even the best ppl can make silly comments but as I said before you KNOW when you're dealing with jerk or a halfwit.
So...far as I'm concerned, if you wanna follow the Rules of the Plantation then by all means--do you! Feel free to make as many 'coon-ish' comments as you like on your own time.
But do not come at me with any of that 'House N**** Logic' ish!
Don't do it.

5. I can understand the irritation you feel. But you know....lotta black folks tend to be pretty sensitive when it concerns matters of race. Some women are overly sensitive.
...and some ppl are just crybabies. That's the way it is...
Ppl handle/percieve things differently--so....what are you gonna do...?

 

[Seraphina]

I'm not offended, per se, I just find it rude. I also find it rude when people ask if you've had plastic surgery ("Are those real?"). Or when someone said to a co-worker, "You have a beautiful smile, are those caps?" I think some people just don't want strangers in their business like that. ((shrugs))

 

[SparklingFlame]

Its very rude yes and I believe that all rudeness ought to be checked. With tact of course. If someone has the audacity to ask me if my hair is a weave or not they will be told its not and they will find out that yes, black women can have long hair too. Any other ignorant statements will be addressed as well.

 

[plastic]

.. what's a clear person ?

 

[chocolatesis]

Well I guess this relates to some other thread or comment that got under your skin---but I'll answer the question in a general fashion.

1. Some ppl ain't got no home training. I have never and would NEVER come out my mouth to ask someone (a stranger nonetheless) whether or not they were wearing a wig. What kind of a question is that...?

2. Everyone who asks ignorant and/or offensive questions isn't wellmeaning.
Some ppl are just a**holes!
You know the difference when you encounter them.

3. Actually---if non-blacks (white folks) ask I could readily forgive them their ignorance. They ain't black and most likely didn't grow around black girls who had long hair. So I don't expect them to understand. Specially when a lotta black folks don't.
Truth be told the only ppl who ask me these questions are BLACK FOLKS. Whites compliment my hair. They just assume it's mine.............

Well said--all of it, especially the bolded parts. Besides, asking someone if their hair is real is just plain rude. I would never ask a stranger (or co-worker) that; maybe a very close friend in a tactful way, but NEVER a stranger.

 

[SparklingFlame]

.. what's a clear person ?

clear=white

I can tell you must not frequent the OT forum!

 

[prospurr4]

Hmmm...this is interesting. At work, I almost always wear my hair up or in a curly style with lots of shrinkage, where my actual length is "hidden." Well, yesterday I wore my hair down (I straightened it for Mother's Day.) and a co-worker asked if I was wearing extensions. She further stated that my hair was so pretty that she just wondered if it was all mine. Then she apologized for even asking that question.

Well, I promptly told her no and that all of it was actually growing out of my scalp, but I wasn't offended at all...I just took it as a compliment and kept it moving.

 

[Blu217]

I'm not sure I understand why, if we're talking about race cards and issues of diversity and understanding, we're calling white people "clear" in the same breath.

Nicknames for race always, always read wrong.

To address the question asked, I don't mind being asked those kinds of questions, but the context must be right and the timing appropriate.

 

[RegaLady]

Anybody, black or 'clear', who asks a woman whether her hair is real, whether it is or not, is rude.