I am so frustrated!!!

[Jusxdarling]

Hey everyone,
I hope all is well.
I'm really frustrated with my hair. No matter what I do it never seems to grow. Plus my sides are all uneven. My mom thinks I should get it cut in a style and let it grow from there but I really don't want to put any scissors in my hair at all and I really don't look good with short hair. I just feel like giving up.

 

[Energist]

Hi and don't worry. There is plenty of support and reading information here. Your hair will be healthy and thriving in no time.

I don't know if you are aware of the newbie groups here, but they have a few that you could join as well as some of the other challenges.

Don't give up, we are all here to offer support, advice, and encouragement

 

[PassionFruit]

from the person who only has 1 inch growth since February.... it will come... I dusted my ends so MAYBE I had 1.5 inches.. big whoop.. my hair is certainly healthier and that should be ALL of our ultimate goal... length will come in due time ( and trust me NO ONE is more impatient and frustrated that I am )

 

[locabouthair]

What's your regimen like?

Are you relaxed? How's your diet?

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Your hair will grow. It can and it does. It's your job to maintain the length, no matter how slow. There's lots of tips here to help you along the way. Good luck! I don't know if you're a natural or not but I am (the pics are flat ironing) but I do a regimen of: prepoo, wash, oilrinse, condition, dc, and then I leave in some of my dc which is always moisturizing without protein. I only use protein for emergencies as I hardly need it. You need to find out what your hair needs. Do some research here to find that out and you will see the condition of your hair change.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

By the way don't cut it into a style and let it grow out from there unless it's driving you mad. Sometimes hair grows unevenly. If you check around the site, lots of people have slow growing sides and end up cutting their hair later (after growing it) into U or V styles. Let it go for a while. Maybe braid it up. Once upon a time I used a weave, when I didn't want to even think about my hair, maybe do that. Make sure if you do, that it's not too tight, and that people do not comb your hair violently when taking it down. If you need to take the nice approach say you're tender headed so that they take their time with you. I noticed most people in weave's hair never grows longer (or appears), but I concluded it's because the way stylists take care of it in between weaves. Meaning, when you take it out and comb it, you want the hairs in your head, not in a brush, so they need to carefully detangle it. I did that and had tremendous growth. Either that or braids is what I did, when it was in a length I didn't like (uneven), until it grows out enough that you don't want to take scissors to it. Just a few suggestions.

 

[Pheonixx]

@ Jusxdarling: Awww...

Like LOCAABOUTHAIR said...what all are you doing to it? You said your hair won't grow...? Well--are you splitting or shedding? I think from there ppl can figure out what the problem may be...

from the person who only has 1 inch growth since February.... it will come... I dusted my ends so MAYBE I had 1.5 inches.. big whoop.. my hair is certainly healthier and that should be ALL of our ultimate goal... length will come in due time ( and trust me NO ONE is more impatient and frustrated that I am )

Wanna bet? LOL I'm doing length checks every DAY darn near--like I'm going to sprout an inch in a night.
Now what kinda sense does THAT make?

But what you about healthy hair being the goal is true, though.
My goal is BSL but I'd hack off 4 inches if those inches were raggedy and splitting.

 

[locabouthair]

phoenixx, I love your thickness...

 

[Pheonixx]

By the way don't cut it into a style and let it grow out from there unless it's driving you mad. Sometimes hair grows unevenly. If you check around the site, lots of people have slow growing sides and end up cutting their hair later (after growing it) into U or V styles. Let it go for a while. Maybe braid it up. Once upon a time I used a weave, when I didn't want to even think about my hair, maybe do that. Make sure if you do, that it's not too tight, and that people do not comb your hair violently when taking it down. If you need to take the nice approach say you're tender headed so that they take their time with you. I noticed most people in weave's hair never grows longer (or appears), but I concluded it's because the way stylists take care of it in between weaves. Meaning, when you take it out and comb it, you want the hairs in your head, not in a brush, so they need to carefully detangle it. I did that and had tremendous growth. Either that or braids is what I did, when it was in a length I didn't like (uneven), until it grows out enough that you don't want to take scissors to it. Just a few suggestions.

ITA.
Braids and such are a good idea. Why not try some then after a month or two take them out? Wash DC or whatever you need to do and get braided up again?

And I'll agree with Luckiestdestiny....the reason why these women don't grow has got to be because of the the way the stylist does it. Or maybe the wearer just left it in too long. I know some ppl can't wear braids and sew-ins because they have issues with matting and breakage among other things...

Well--I dunno but--I'd leave my sew-ins for 2-3 mths and my hair never did anything BUT grow in extensions/braids.
And I hardly did anything to it...but wash it every week or two (i washed the weave every/every other day).
I'd always have a few more inches of hair to work with by the time I took it out. To me that's half the purpose of getting braided or weaved up in the first place.

Everyone is different i guess.
But---as far as I'm concerned, hair grows best when you just leave it alone...

 

[Pheonixx]

phoenixx, I love your thickness...

Thank you.

It's blessing--and an uncontrollable curse sometimes (when 'IT' is introduced to the elements)...

 

[luckiestdestiny]

ITA.
Braids and such are a good idea. Why not try some then after a month or two take them out? Wash DC or whatever you need to do and get braided up again?

And I'll agree with Luckiestdestiny....the reason why these women don't grow has got to be because of the the way the stylist does it. Or maybe the wearer just left it in too long. I know some ppl can't wear braids and sew-ins because they have issues with matting and breakage among other things...

Well--I dunno but--I'd leave my sew-ins for 2-3 mths and my hair never did anything BUT grow in extensions/braids.
And I hardly did anything to it...but wash it every week or two (i washed the weave every/every other day).
I'd always have a few more inches of hair to work with by the time I took it out. To me that's half the purpose of getting braided or weaved up in the first place.

Everyone is different i guess.
But---as far as I'm concerned, hair grows best when you just leave it alone...

Preach.

I never left my in longer than 2 months, but that's because my hair grows fast. I also didn't do the tightening thing that I hear about. Why do I need to have some one re sew hair that is growing out from the braids? That's asking for matting in my opinion.

 

[Pheonixx]

^^^
Oh that's what 'tightening' is?

LOL.

I thought I was the only one.
I'd never much paid attention because it always seemed like a waste of money...
At 3 months my sew-in is sliding all over my head.
But at 3 mths I just need to give the 'appearance' of a fresh sew-in.
...and I don't need $50-100 tp pay for in-between services to do that.

I just need like, 5 bobby pins...

 

[Jusxdarling]

Thank you ladies for all of your support.
I don't really have an extensive regimen. I wash and deep condition once a week and use ApHogee reconstructer once a month. I don't really know what hair products work and don't work with my hair. I basically just use whatever shampoo we have around the house. I think I'm going to try braiding/weaving it over the summer and see how that goes. And try drinking more water because I really don't drink enough. erplexed

 

[TLC1020]

Your regimen now is not so bad but you need to find out what your hair likes and dislikes. Finding shampoo and conditioners around the house may not work b/c you may need somthing with lots of moisture or less moisture. You may need deep conditioning treatments more than once a week depending on your hair. You have to do a trial an error type thing to find out what products work for you and how often to use them. What works for those in your household may not work for you so take your time. Start off by trying products that contain more moisture and see if that works and check your hair to see its reaction to the product to determine how often to use the product.

 

[Mook's hair]

Thank you ladies for all of your support.
I don't really have an extensive regimen. I wash and deep condition once a week and use ApHogee reconstructer once a month. I don't really know what hair products work and don't work with my hair. I basically just use whatever shampoo we have around the house. I think I'm going to try braiding/weaving it over the summer and see how that goes. And try drinking more water because I really don't drink enough. erplexed

Oooo, Maybe that is why you're having trouble retaining length. You could have protein overload. Does your hair feel hard?

How often do you get relaxer touch-ups? Do you think your hair might be over processed?
Do you ever remember a time when your hair growth was better? Even if it was when you were very little?

Have patience...we'll help you through this. It will grow.

 

[audacity.]

This hair thing is so frustrating most of the time!!! Don't cut it unless that is what you want to do. JenniferMD is the BEST "rags to riches" hair-story EVER, IMO, and she didn't start off by cutting her hair off...

There is lots of motivations and inspiration here and on other hair boards.

Hang in there, sweetie...here is another