I am so frustrated!! (long)

steph

New Member
Hi ladies, I have to vent this morning. I have had so much breakage in the past two months after going to school. I had more inches in late July and August. I am just realizing that now. The problem is that i can not wash my hair in the shower because the water is hard, but when i wash in the sink sometimes it causes monster tangles which equals knots and breakage. It works for about a week, and then my hair breaks about once a week. I just want to cry after this. It even happened at home when using my shower last week, and i dusted. I just do not know what to do. I have tried distilled water but since my curl is so tight and thick all the residue from my shampoo or conditioner will not rinse out. Also my hair will still need detangling, and i can not detangle my hair and pour distilled water at the same time. I tried some protein treatments and that breaks off my hair even worse because my hair gets so hard. I am doing EVOO on the ends after I wash, and it is working great. What causes my breakage is that I always do something stupid in my hair handling. The problem is if I detangle too much my hair can break, or if i detangle too little the same will happen. The problem is that i can use the shower in my room. I just do not know what to do ladies. I am so upset right now. I think i could had waist length hair by now if it was not for all the breakage. I have even thought about texturizing to loosen the curl because it is the tightness that causes the matting and the knots or going back to pressing until I can go home and wash regularly. The fact i have reached mid-length with all the breakage is a miracle, but i am afraid that will be gone soon at this rate. I am sorry for the long post. Thanks for listening, I had no one else to vent to. I just had to get this out even if nothing gets solved.
 
Can you possibly go back to washing your hair in the shower but making sure to use gentler shampoos? There ae also hard-water shampoos that could probably help with the situation.
Sorry that you're so frustrated.
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I feel your pain. Last time I washed my hair was so tangled it looked like the strands had been dancing with one another. I feel that there must be a special shower head that will soften the water. Have you investigated this alternative? With hair as long as yours maybe you should also consider going to a hairdresser who specializes in natural hair and knows how to wash it to prevent the massive tangles. There is one in the small state I live in that I go to sometimes (not too often because she is very expensive). The other suggestion is to ask your mother how she dealt with your hair when you were a child. If you've had long natural hair all your life she may have some tips to shair. Good luck!
 
Steph, have you ever tried using apple cider vinegar to rinse your hair? Not only does this remove the residue from products you use on your hair, it counteracts the hardness of the water and it flattens your hair cuticle so that your hair strands are smooth and they don't tangle.

I never miss out an ACV rinse in any of my washes. And lately I've been experimenting a bit on using less on my hair, by way of leave in (after Supergirl's success sometime back) and I'm LURVING my hair
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like never before: Soft as baby hair, smooth as silk, natural shine, no artificial smell... just wonderful, healthy-looking hair that's a pleasure to touch. (Now if only I can find a cure for HIH syndrome!
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)

The way I do my ACV rinses is to put water in a basin and put very little ACV and then submerge my head upside down in there (a few drops of lavendar essential oil and rosemary essential oil added in are extras that I'm now addicted to). The basin method may not work for you since your hair tangles in the sink but maybe it'd work in a deep bucket/pail in which your hair can hang down straight? Alternatively, you could just put a few drops of ACV in a distilled water gallon container, shake to mix, and just pour that over your head. Why I'd highly recommend the basin/bucket submerge idea though is that while your head hangs upside down in there, you can give your scalp a good massage as blood flows to your head (which is good for your follicles) and at the same time, you ensure you remove any residue on your scalp that could block pores. And while you give your scalp this special attention, you hair is getting the benefit of ACV's acidity: elasiticity being improved, residue being removed, cuticles being smoothed to remove frizz, prevent tangling and give your hair a wonderful, natural shine.
 
When you wash your hair, do you section it off before you wash or do you just leave all your hair out and wash that way? I am natural, with hair like Lenny Kravitz. It's about 14 inches stretched but as soon as water hits it, it shrinks to about 2 inches. If I were to wash it without separating it into sections first, it would be one huge mass of knots and tangles. I wash my hair while it is in big twists, with a total of 10 sections. As I'm washing, I undo a section, wash, rinse, then twist it back up. I repeat this on all the other sections. You can do the same thing with the conditioner. Also, try detangling while the conditioner is in your hair, or at least while your hair is still very wet. That makes things much easier. Good luck.
 
I guess I give up easily, but if I were in your situation, I would find a beautician to maintain my hair as soon as possible. When I got my hair cut last year, I could not take care of it on my own and I left it to the beauticians to maintain my hair on a weekly basis until I could care for it myself. I know that it's not always easy to find one when you are at school, but it's worth a try.
 
Could you wash in the shower but RINSE with distilled water? That's worked for some of the ladies here with hard water...

BRH, Jade...quite a few ladies have reversed hard water torubles with this technique....

Maybe?
 
I'm sorry to hear about your tangling problem steph. I'd really give all these great suggestions a try, since it's working for a lot these ladies
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. I really hope they work out for you so you'll reach waist length very soon.If anything, don't give up on your hair!! I know you've worked really hard for each and every strand. Good luck!
 
Is it possible to replace your shower head with one that has good pressure and filters. I bought one for 30 bucks at target last year. I'm assuming that sense you mentioned that your shower is in your room that you are the only one using it and therefore can get away with changing it without school authorities finding out. I found that a good pressure shower head really cut down on tangles. I really don't know why but it did.
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Also braid your hair in 4 braids and wash each at a time might work.
 
I have hard water also. What I do is wash and rinse with the regular water, under the shower head. then I pour distilled water as a final rinse. That way I get all the detangling from the water pressure of the shower, and the d water rinses all the hard water off my hair. HTH.
 
Thank you all for the responses and help. To hairlove, I do rinse my hair in sections actually 4 sections. I did this this morning and my hair still matted and tangled. It is just easier for me to wash in the shower. I was at home, and showering working great over the summertime. My hair almost never broke over then. Nonie, I am going to try the ACV rinses again. I did a couple over the summer, but i think i did them wrong. Thank you for the detailed description of the ACV. I am going to try your way this time. Also for the showerhead, I do not think i can unscrew it since i am in a dorm building. I have tried it, but it won't bulge. I am still going to try again, because i need a new shower filter. I am feeling a little better now, sometimes i have to remind myself that it will grow back. Sometimes i actually forget that!lol
 
Hi Steph, sorry for the problems you're having. I know how it can be with the tangles cause my daughter is natural. What shampoo and conditioner are you using? A good conditioner could assist in helping to detangle the hair, even if you wash it in the sink
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Gosh, I am so incredibly sorry that ur goin' through this. Tangles have to be one of the most frustrating hair problems to deal with.

As was previous stated, a shower filter seems to be a very good idea, along with a poo that does both moisturizes & detangles... I prefer CON & Motions Lavish. CO rinses with Motions Moisture Plus, LustraSilk cholesterol applied to ~dry/detangled~ hair have worked wonders at keeping my hair detangled when wet.
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Wishing the best for u
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i agree with the advice the ladieshave already given you and hope that u find a solution to yo frustration
 
The suggestions on this board are excellent ones and I'm sure you'll get the answers you need. I wish you much success.
 
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