I am at a Frustrating time of my Transiton

[tinkat]

Hello everyone

(Sorry so long but i have had alot on my mind with no one to vent to)
I do not post alot but i have to vent. I have been transitioning since the end of July and using weaves as my form of transitioning. This has been an interesting journey because I have been relaxed for as long as I remember and I have never worn extentions until last summer. Right now I am a Junior Biology major in college majoring in Biology. So money is definitely tight with bills and trying to maintain my hair.

I have been frustrated lately and have let other people views of weave on my campus influence me in a negative way about my hair. Since I have not shown my hair since May of last year, people, mainly females on my campus frequently say negative things regarding me wearing weave. And the funny thing about is that my weave always get done nicely, its not like its expired. And when I do take it out, Im wearing a scarf so that gives some of them the satisfaction that im just hiding my hair b/c it must be short, unhealthy or what not...

I am also angry b/c although my room mate whom i have also been good friends with thinks that I am acting like i am better than people since i have been getting my hair done. She has not said it directly, but walls are thin in dorms. What she don't realize is that I just am tired being room mates with her and she has ways that are sneaky in my opinion for reasons that will take forever to explain, so i keep my associations with her to a minimum. She knows that i am transitioning so i don't know why she came up with that conclusion, she nothing but an associate in my eyes.

I guess u can say my only support on my campus is my boyfriend and a couple of friends that i don't see often.

Don't get me wrong, I love my new texture and can't wait till i have a hair full of it, but since wearing this weave, I have seen how ignorant people can be, and unfortunately it be from the black females. I had one girl talking behind me in a line while waiting to go into a fashion show at school. I recongized her from a class and she was telling a friend that i that is not my hair and im always wearing weave in a negative way, like its bad. Which that is true, but this girl had mircos in her hair, so im like like why is she talking about my weave. That is one example of what i deal with.

I know that u have to shake haters off, but when u hear it alot, its get frustrating, especially when you are transitioning and you are growing a new head of hair with a different texture. Yeah im in college, but im still young and trying to figure myself out. I am at that real awkward stage where i need to start to find out what my hair likes and i have major shrinkage with my newgrowth, so i dont really know my length, but my thickness confirms that it growing.

 

[SerenityBreeze]

It never fails, there will always be that bunch out there that has nothing better to do with their time than focus on trying to dishearten others. Most of the time they need to do a reality check on themselves. But we wont even begin to channel any of our energy in that direction as we wont be any better of than they are.

Don't you let those girls get to you. You keep your chin up and do what you have to do to meet your goals. Continue to walk with confidence! It is nobody's business but yours why you choose to wear weaves a a protective style.


As far as your roomate, talk to her and express how you feel. A true friend will understand. It may even turn out to be a misunderstanding.

You have come a long way from July! Good for you. Some of us (ahem) cant even get past 9 weeks of new growth. Keep it up and happy growing!

 

[glamazon386]

Sorry you had to go through that but girls will be just that girls (and not women obviously). I've worn weaves for most of my college life (I'm graduating this sem) and I get the same thing. People don't realize that not everyone who wears a weave is bald headed. Some people are wearing them for a purpose. I started with the weave my first semester so I wouldn't have to deal with my hair. Most girls had braids but I didn't really want to do the braid thing. So second semester I got the braids. They tore my hair up. Biggest mistake I ever made. Everything is not for everybody and braids just weren't for me. Most of the black girls in college have braids and it's okay but weaves are bad? That just doesn't make any sense. Never has. A lot of the girls with braids don't have any hair either. Or their edges are broke off and hairlines receding. The weave is just more functional for me. Less damage. Less money (especially since I do my own every other weave). Takes only a few hours to put in and take out. And will last longer than braids for me. So that's my choice and I'm sticking with it. It's definitely helping my hair grow out now. So to those who don't like it, they can get to steppin. But seriously... Girl, don't worry about them. Do what you feel is best for YOUR hair. I totally understand how you feel but they obviously have no life if they're all up in your weave. Hope you feel better...

 

[naturaline]

aww i feel for you- its ashame those girls are being so immature and hypocritical. your new growth in your album looks nice and healthy! your really going well. when i was in the trans' i decided to grow out by doing roller sets with little perm rods. this made my natural and relaxed hair look more blended because the rods made it so curly. i had to redo it once/twice a week. im not saying you should do this but its just an idea for if you feel like a change

to try not to let them get you down too much, you always have your LHCF friends!

 

[hopeful]

Try not to let them get you down. Some people are just mean and ignorant. What do they care about you wearing a weave? How is that affecting their life, really? LOL you just wear your weave and baby that new growth and IGNORE them. Thank goodness you have the support of your boyfriend and a couple other friends. Always remember that you have us too. Your weaves don't bother us one bit and we think your newgrowth is pretty. Just think about this: by the time you finish college you will have nearly two years of lush beautiful natural hair and then they will be sweating you about your puff and your afro. Stay focussed on YOUR goals: a degree in biology and a head full of natural hair. I was just thinking that if you are smart and focussed, always have a beautiful weave and a supportive boyfriend, you might also be on the receiving end of hateration, just a thought.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

These folks are doing you a favor by letting you know how shady they are.

The best thing you can do is find something to do in your non study time that doesn't involve these people. You're on a college campus, there are plenty of organizations (not necessarily greek) to join and other things to get into. Extend your friend network to people outside your dorm.

 

[caltron]

I really don't understand why people get so up in arms over weaves...Don't let them get you down.

 

[aquarian1252004]

I don't know why people are so concerned with what you are doing with YOUR HAIR. Tell them to mind their own damn business it is a university not a damn beauty school

 

[sunnyjohn]

These folks ARE NOT your friends. Thank the good Lord that you found this out sooner rather than later. Find some folks who will embrass you and your hair, weaves, naps, head tie and all!

I believe in you lil' sister!

Agape,
Sunny~~


~~~

 

[*ElleB]

I really don't understand why people get so up in arms over weaves...Don't let them get you down.

I think the general thinking is that ppl who wear them are "fake" and are trying to act like it is their natural hair when it's not. I must admit, used to be one of those ppl. But since I have been on my hair care journey I have learned that that is not always the case.
Maybe you should try to talk to your roommate and let her know that you are doing this for one reason--to protect your hair.
I know the hate may be hard to withstand but just let it roll of your back.
WHen your hair is at your goal length, they won't have a word to say!

 

[*ElleB]

I really don't understand why people get so up in arms over weaves...Don't let them get you down.

I think the general thinking is that ppl who wear them are "fake" and are trying to act like it is their natural hair when it's not. I must admit, used to be one of those ppl. But since I have been on my hair care journey I have learned that that is not always the case.
Maybe you should try to talk to your roommate and let her know that you are doing this for one reason--to protect your hair.
I know the hate may be hard to withstand but just let it roll of your back.
WHen your hair is at your goal length, they won't have a word to say!

 

[*ElleB]

I really don't understand why people get so up in arms over weaves...Don't let them get you down.

I think the general thinking is that ppl who wear them are "fake" and are trying to act like it is their natural hair when it's not. I must admit, used to be one of those ppl. But since I have been on my hair care journey I have learned that that is not always the case.
Maybe you should try to talk to your roommate and let her know that you are doing this for one reason--to protect your hair.
I know the hate may be hard to withstand but just let it roll of your back.
WHen your hair is at your goal length, they won't have a word to say!