Hubby and the dang Playstation

What's his job situation look like?

Is he being successful at work?

I saw this because many men who hate their jobs or are not moving forward like they believe they should try to find tat success in other places, like video games and stuff
 
Sorry OP.... I had the play station problem too.... I cried, complained... didn't work.

After a while, I just left it alone... and he just stopped naturally. If you need him to help you do something like help with the child, clean etc... then let him know... Else, just leave it alone, don't nag, and have your peace of mind. Of course, let him know you'd rather he not play it cos u want to spend time with him... but leave it alone after that.
 
intergalacticartist said:
What's his job situation look like?

Is he being successful at work?

I saw this because many men who hate their jobs or are not moving forward like they believe they should try to find tat success in other places, like video games and stuff
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intergalacticartist He has a good job ,good managerial position ,he claims to be quite stressed ,but you can't be stressed all the time ,I believe he s mildly addicted to it .
 
judy4all said:
Sorry OP.... I had the play station problem too.... I cried, complained... didn't work.

After a while, I just left it alone... and he just stopped naturally. If you need him to help you do something like help with the child, clean etc... then let him know... Else, just leave it alone, don't nag, and have your peace of mind. Of course, let him know you'd rather he not play it cos u want to spend time with him... but leave it alone after that.
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Thank you ,i m glad someone can relate to this .You might be right ,but the main problem is that him playing creates a sort of barrier between us ,i wouldnt mind if he played a couple of times a week but everyday ..:nono: I feel a bit taken for granted to be honest ..
 
^^ Oh I agree.... It definitely causes a barrier.... but think about it this way.... If you complain about it (which you have) it will not only cause a barrier, but a resentful and angry one too. It's like picking the least of two evils... You will be much luckier saying, "Baby, I really want to spend time with you... Please can you play for 2 hours and then spend time with me?" If he keeps "refusing" to spend time with you when you ask for it, and you walk away gently.. he'll start to feel bad and start making an extra effort to spend time with u (playing the game less).

No matter the route you go... it will be hurtful and annoying, but you just have to control how much it annoys you.... You have to make him feel like playing the PS is not that big a deal and let him naturally tire out... Just try to ignore it.. whenever u guys are in a good mood, in bed or somewhere quiet.. keep reminding him how u feel and pray that he comes around.
 
judy4all said:
^^ Oh I agree.... It definitely causes a barrier.... but think about it this way.... If you complain about it (which you have) it will not only cause a barrier, but a resentful and angry one too. It's like picking the least of two evils... You will be much luckier saying, "Baby, I really want to spend time with you... Please can you play for 2 hours and then spend time with me?" If he keeps "refusing" to spend time with you when you ask for it, and you walk away gently.. he'll start to feel bad and start making an extra effort to spend time with u (playing the game less).

No matter the route you go... it will be hurtful and annoying, but you just have to control how much it annoys you.... You have to make him feel like playing the PS is not that big a deal and let him naturally tire out... Just try to ignore it.. whenever u guys are in a good mood, in bed or somewhere quiet.. keep reminding him how u feel and pray that he comes around.
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Thank you so much for the advice sis ,I m going to follow it :yep:
 
lol I'm very familiar with your situation. My SO just bought an xbox a couple months ago, and he loves MW3. The only difference in this scenario is that I enjoy playing too, so we'll play for hours on that thing. It's really addicting. Sometimes I play along with his friends, or just logoff so he'll have guy time. For us, it's fun and we get to bond even more. He knows when to logoff for now.

Before I got into playing, I remember complaining about all the time he was spending on it too. He said, 'well at least I'm not out there doing crack', or something like that. lol It got me thinking that what he said is true in some aspects, he could be doing a whole lot worse.
 
I agree with judy4all. Also, even though this will be hard for you because you want to spend time with him, you might have to fight fire with fire. Be unavailable sometimes when he wants attention. Find something else to do that you would LOVE to get done while he's playing. In other words, if you want to talk to your friends, do it; want to go to the movies, go. Eventually he'll notice you not nagging anymore and will wonder what you're up to and start to tone it down. But don't act mad about it...find something enjoyable to do. Don't do some chore or something because then he could easily say that you were doing chores and he didn't want to disturb you.

I'm no expert and this would be SUPER annoying if it were me, but you've tried everything else, down to threats, so just do your own thing. He'll notice the change because he's not expecting it. OR get REAL sneaky with it and have his controller ready and whatever his routine is, have everything laid out for him and then just disappear. That'll really freak him out, LOL.
 
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lol chocolat79

i was hanging out with a friend and he told me he was thinking about buying a PS... I told him don't do it. i thought about this thread and told him to not to do it... that it could potentially come between him and his future wife. he looked at my like i was crazy.

well i tried.

i hope you and your hubby can work it out Kindheart. i'm not a video game person, I had an ex who was... and he used to get so caught up on that thing, i was so annoyed :lol:
 
This sounds like me with LHCF. Lol

All you can pretty much do is let him do it unless something more important needs to be done and eventually he will stop. Maybe this is how he relaxes. My mother is like this except she plays internet games/the sims after a rough day.
 
no nookie....sorry...

seems like a epidemic with these game stations---smdh
ugh hobbies are not a problem..but when your neglecting your spouse or partner thats just not cool..esp if it has been communicated how big of an issue it is...

good luck OP im a bit more high octane that game would not be there when he came home from work if it was me..lmaoo
 
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This why I have a no gamer dating clause..

Is there any way that you all can agree to a transitional period when getting home from work? Like everyone gets an allotted amount of time to relax and play, then there is family time from then on?
 
Kindheart said:
My hubby is a lovely man ,caring ,loves me and our child ,BUT ,when he comes home he says hi give me a peck on the cheeck ,pretends he s helping me doing something ,like folding clothes then leaving them on the bed ,wash the 3 glasses in the sink and then say ..."AAAH i m gonna sit down now ,I m tired " hmm I already know what that means ,so i hear the dreaded Pleeep of the Playstation and there he goes shooting at the enemies in ModernWarfare (yes i know the name and way too much about it) ,i feed our son (when i m not working ) put him to sleep ,and when i come back down he s still playing ,during dinner he watches tv ,so basically all i see all the damn time is his profile ,with his friggin pointy nose ,I can tell you how many hair he has on his left temple .SIGH *:spinning:
Anyway Its been 2 years and a half he s been into that stupid game and sometimes he ll play all evening ..I ve been assertive ,cried about it when i was lonely and pregnant(and i m not a crier),I ve threatened to leave him ,I told him all kinda things to turn him off playing but it seems to haev been all in vain .

Anyone has any suggestions on how to make him play less ?
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Did he know you were crying about it? What happens after dinner?
 
I think your man is mildly addicted to the game. It upsets you, so you guys need counseling.

Years ago, I dated a man who got into the play station . I think I have ridged views of male gender roles or something. After seeing him get so into the game, I could not get turned on or truly interested in him. I dumped him (because he was not my husband) he stalked me for a while. He wasn't violent just so desperate that I started to see that he had an addictive personality.

Handle this OP. I would say let it play out, but if he knows you are crying - he needs help.
 
Gin&Tonic said:
I think your man is mildly addicted to the game. It upsets you, so you guys need counseling.

Years ago, I dated a man who got into the play station . I think I have ridged views of male gender roles or something. After seeing him get so into the game, I could not get turned on or truly interested in him. I dumped him (because he was not my husband) he stalked me for a while. He wasn't violent just so desperate that I started to see that he had an addictive personality.

Handle this OP. I would say let it play out, but if he knows you are crying - he needs help.
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Thats what I thought. My ex was a hardcore gamer, which I didn't mind (mostly) because I like a lot of space. However, if I ever needed him for something or for some time together he could always make time.

I would think if a partner knows you are crying while pregnant, or threatening to divorce them they would try and compromise.

May be an addiction. 2 years and a half is a long time to go through this.
 
I am engaged to a guy who is in love with the playstation. I used to cry about it and fight about it too. But him and I are in a different place now and we both desperately want to make our relationship work so he can play buy only with boundaries. He can play only while I'm doing home work after our daughter watches yo gabba gabba and only for a certain amount of time. We have opposite work schedules, I work business hours he works nights so he can do whatever in his alone time which also helps. He loves playing it and I love him too much to insist he not play which is what I realized after all the fighting about it but at this point he wouldn't dare go against those boundaries. I think its important to remember that women run ish even though our men are the men of the house and boundaries need to be set. Remind him how important it is to your marriage that the two of you spend real time, that you feel he is pushing you toward finding things to do outside of the house. Talk to him about it very calmly, make demands, and if necessary show him what the household feels like when you're not around as much. Stick to it and he will start to listen
 
I used to go out with a grown man that loved his play station. I will never date another guy who is a gamer. That crap was so annoying. the all night marathons with the boys...then well at least im not at the club. Please i wish you were at the club so i could get some sleep.

Good luck OP.
 
My husband is a gamer. At first I used to really get on him to stop playing so much but once I started playing with him I really enjoyed it. We've beaten a few games together so that way we are spending time together while he gets to do something he enjoys anyway. Over time he naturally stopped playing so much. He probably plays an hour or two a week.

I think my husband is too busy to play which is why he plays less. We have set out chores for when we get home from work. We alternate taking care of the baby and cooking dinner. He knows if he doesn't do his part it just won't get done. I think counseling is also a good idea for you all. It's obvious that this is really bothering you and your husband is not meeting your needs. If he is that addicted to the game, it may be time to disconnect it and put it away for a few weeks.
 
^^^Same here. My SO is a hardcore gamer as well, especially with his line brothers down in ATL. They're all grown, married, professionals with kids, and me and wives accept that this is part of their connecting with one another (since we live in VA). However, don't wake me up, don't you DARE be late to work complaining about getting no sleep, don't come home and pass out and not be able to do the dishes, help cook, whatever needs to be done around the house. You have responsibilities to this household that come before ANYTHING else you do, and so long as you do that, I'mma let you do you and I don't wanna hear a peep about what I do.
 
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